This is really angsty and sad and I don't quite know where it came from. I love Clare, and this storyline just breaks my heart. Just a drabble from the Much Music promo where Eli asks "What happened?"

I don't own.

"Clare?" he asks, his voice dropping. "What happened?" His tone is soft, concerned, like he's already trying to comfort her even though he doesn't know what's wrong. But she didn't fail a test, or get in a fight with her mom, or leave her homework at home...this is real, and she never in a million years thought it would happen to her.

"He..." she gets out, but her voice quavers and dies. She has to swallow twice, unable to speak around the breath caught in her dry throat.

She considers telling him. Weighs it quickly in her mind.

"He's just been really...harsh lately. Aggressive. I'm just tired." She manages, and she sees the crease in his brow relax a bit.

"I knew he was stressing you out," Eli soothes, not getting it at all. "You're there late practically every night."

She has to look downwards to prevent the tears from falling, feeling helpless and hopeless, wanting him to pick on her subtle insinuations, but not wanting to tell him at all.

"I should go over there right now," he begins teasingly, "and tell him to lay off my girlfriend."

And she smiles, but it's all lip and no teeth and doesn't reach her eyes.

"Hey," he says, and tries to cup his hand to her cheek, but she flinches, her eyes wide and terrified like an animal caught in a cage. But she recovers quickly, pressing her hand atop his on her face, pretending not to notice the hurt in his eyes.

"Clare," he says again, and she can feel it coming. "What happened, please?"

She rips his hand off her face, because in that moment, all she feels is the cold, demanding touch of Asher's fingers on her cheek.

"Nothing," she answers. "He's just been overbearing Eli; he's my boss. It's just the way he works."

"Clare please," he tries again, wringing his hands because she knows he wants to hold her. "You've been acting...differently lately, I just want to know what's going on..."

He knows. He sees right through her. When she's been trying so hard to bury it, forget it, make it go away.

"I'm different, because I've been working non-stop, I barely get any sleep, and you keep-"

"I know," he interrupts gently, "I can see how wound up you are. Do you want me to come with you to work to ask your boss to ease up on you a little bit? I mean you have school to focus on and-"

"No," she spits flatly. Yesyesyespleaseyes.Help me.

"Okay," he says lowly, hovering over the counter now. "Look," he sighs, "I know you're perfectly capable of handling yourself, you're one of the strongest people I know...but what's wrong? You don't..." he falters, not sure how to continue.

I'm not strong, she almost whispers.

"You don't seem like you want to be around me anymore. I feel like you don't like talking to me. You don't let me touch you, we haven't kissed in a long time - not really - and," he continues in his most gentle tone, "we talked about sleeping together, and now all of a sudden, you're not interested..."

Because she's dirty. Asher touched her and he lingers on her and if Eli undressed her, he'd know. Nobody could want her now.

She misses looking in the mirror and liking what she sees.

"I mean, I completely respect your decision if you still want to wait, but I hate to think that you feel like I've been pressuring you. I hate to think that you feel like you can't talk to me..."

She stands in his kitchen, looking down at the floor like some petulant child receiving discipline from their parent. And she's reminded that she is just a child, and that this should have never happened.

She thought if something ever happened to her like this, that she'd tell someone right away. She thought she'd beat the shit out of the bastard and get him thrown in jail. But here she is, suffering in silence like some fictional character, weak and guilty and embarrassed, reminding herself that this is real and not just some nightmare, and How am I supposed to deal with any of this now that it's here? What am I supposed to do? How could anyone look at her the same? She was just another statistic now, caught up in the judgments of 'victim' and 'what she deserved.'

He looks desperate now, watching the emotions flicker across her face. "Clare, we agreed to communicate better this time...here I am, just asking you to talk to me...please. Nothing you could say could make hate you or judge you...I'm here. And I know something's wrong."

"You don't know anything," she grinds out.

"Clare-"

"You think I have time to cater to you all the time? I have my own life, I can't be taking care of you too, especially when you get all paranoid about the fact that we're not spending every living second with each other-"

The silence is palpable; his jaw clenches, his shoulders brooding.

"This isn't you talking," he whispers, "this isn't you."

"Your boyfriend seems pretty needy," Asher remarked, and she was filled with anger; a sudden need to defend Eli. He didn't know Eli at all. She politely disagreed, finding the whole topic inappropriate, so she switched to a new one. She thought she could trust Asher, after the opportunity, guidance, and praise he'd given her. It started the next day.

"I need to go," she utters, picking her paper off his kitchen counter.

"You said you were all in." His words weren't spiteful or harsh, just confused; totally and utterly lost.

"I am," she breathes, walking over to grip the back of his neck and run her fingers through his hair. "I just have to go right now, okay?"

He regards her with heartbreaking sadness.

"Is it me?" he asks. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," she says firmly. "No."

"Please just tell me," he pleads. "I can help you. I can be better. I can fix this."

He is killing her.

"Just pick me up after work, okay?" she murmurs, and presses the softest of kisses to the corner of his mouth.

"We need to talk about this," he affirms, closing his eyes at her gentle gesture.

"I have to go," she reminds him.

"You're not happy Clare, and it's not okay."

"I'll handle it."

And he is brought back to a long time ago, a warm day in March when he said the same thing. His worst lie, because he'd even convinced himself. Before everything went to shit.

"I'll see you later," she smiles, squeezing his shoulder before turning towards the door.

He's frozen...wanting to jump in front of her and block her way, wanting to sit her down and force her to talk. He could get Alli or Jenna or Adam or Jake or her parents even, just so long as she talked.

"I love you," he says, watching her turn the handle and step outside.

She looks at him, a soft blush on her cheeks. And she wonders sadly how he could love a girl he doesn't know anymore.

"I'll see you later, Eli."

-x-

There is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore line, no matter how many times it is sent away.

-x-

I'm so sorry :( Review lovely?
Now I'm sad, fuck.