AN: I am so sorry for the delay in this story. I've been kind of neglecting all of my stories, but I promise that I will try and pay more attention to all of my fics. Here you guys go! :)

The next day came by too fast for Arizona's liking. Talking about what had happened to a therapist with Callie there wasn't what she wanted to do but if she wanted to get back to the place where she was happy with Callie. She shouldn't have felt the way she did about what happened, but she knew that she could have prevented everything if she would have just stayed in Seattle. What she was waiting for was the 'I told you so' from Callie but she knew that in this situation, she wouldn't do it to Arizona.

Ever since what happened in Africa, Arizona was more on edge about everything. She'd jump from just a small touch, even from Callie and she didn't know if she would ever be the same. She wanted to be the person that Callie fell in love with, but she wasn't the same happy, perky surgeon that she was before. She didn't trust herself in the OR any longer, all she could manage were consults, she couldn't just sit at home and do nothing.

Her hours were limited, considering the circumstances but she was glad that she could still help the tiny humans. They were the reason she went to Africa in the first place, and she would do it all over again just to be able to try and make a difference in the world. Instead, Karev had suggested that they were going to bring some of the kids from Africa here. It made her feel relieved because at least she could still make a difference.

When Callie went tapped her shoulder to let Arizona that she was ready to go and jumped, slightly. Callie moved in front of her and grasped her arms gently to calm her down, "It's just me." She reassured her, as she felt Arizona physically relax in beneath her hands.

Callie took a step towards Arizona and put a hand on her cheek, "You don't have to worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

Arizona took a deep breath in and nodded, "I know you won't and it kind of scares me." She looked into her eyes as she remembered that Africa wasn't the first time that she had protected her. She had stood in front of her when the shooter was in the hospital. Arizona didn't know how much Callie loved her until that moment, she realized that Callie would have given up her life for her. Part of her was angry with her because she would have died for her, and if she had died she would have lived with the guilt for the rest of her life and she couldn't live without Callie. In her mind, she knew that she wouldn't be able to get over her.

The brunette pulled her in for a hug. "Don't worry, Arizona. We've been through so much together, we'll get through this." Her arms wrapped around the blonde's waist as she felt the blonde cling to her, but after a moment she could feel the tension wear off and felt her girlfriend relax in her arms.

The ride to the therapy session was quiet, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. There was small talk, but for the most part they were both lost in their own thoughts of how the meeting would go. Arizona was nervous because she would have relive the bad memories, with Callie right next to her.

She was afraid that whatever truth that she had felt about Callie being involved in the situation would come out. The guilt that she felt about getting her girlfriend involved in this, might spill out if she wasn't careful. Arizona knew that everything would come out at one point but she wasn't ready to tell the therapist and Callie every little thing she felt about being in Africa.

What Callie was afraid of was the fact that the therapist may ask her questions about how she felt about everything. She didn't know how to say it but she blamed herself every minute, for letting Arizona go alone to Africa. She shouldn't have left the woman she loved alone on a plane, she felt so much remorse for letting her go in the first place. Yes, the reason Arizona went to Africa was for a good cause, but if she knew that she could have prevented everything by telling her not to go she would have.

They arrived at the office and Callie moved over to the passenger's side of the car to help Arizona out. She knew that Arizona still had small pain where she had been injured, even though she wouldn't admit it. Callie needed to let her know in every way that she was here for her, no matter what. Arizona started to walk in, but Callie was the one that grabbed her hand and pulled her back for a moment.

"If you want to leave at any time or stop, just tell me. I think this will be good for you, Arizona. If you can take everything that happened to you, I'm here for you." She gave her a hand a gentle squeeze. Arizona gave her an appreciative smile at the brunette before they walked in.

The session started out simple, with questions about how they were both holding up after the incident. They told the woman that they were still dealing with it, in their own ways. What they didn't expect was the question that came out of her mouth next.

"How has the incident affected your relationship with one another?" She asked, in a calm, nonchalant, manner.

It took a moment for either of them to respond, but it was Arizona who talked first. "We - we're dealing with it." She took a look at Callie and knew that it was so much more than that, her eyes watered when she thought about it but what was going on between them needed to be stated.

"I don't know if it's possible to be the same as we were, ever. Every time I look at her I feel different things. I love her, more than anything and I know she does too, because of what she did for me. She would die for me, and I would do the same for me. That's what scares me, she's all I have, all that I care about. If she died, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, it would have been my fault that she died." Arizona admitted, looking over at Callie. The brunette grabbed her hand and shook her head, the therapist observed their behavior.

"Arizona, don't - it wouldn't have been your fault. You did nothing wrong, it would have been his fault, not yours. I would never want you to live with that." She took a deep breath and tried to calm Arizona down, but this time it failed.

"Callie - I shouldn't have gone. I should have listened to you and stayed, you were happy here. I was happy here with you but I thought we could be happier there - helping tiny humans in Africa" Tears were starting to fall from the blue eyes as she spoke. "But I left without you, I told you I didn't want you to go with me. You still came when he called, after everything I said." She shook her head. "Now everything is so messed up and it is my fault, because I didn't listen to you, Callie."

The brunette's hand moved to her forearm, and she gave it a gentle squeeze as she shook her head. "You didn't know any of this would happen, don't. You went there to do amazing things, I should have went with you. I shouldn't have let you go alone. If anything would have happened to you there, I would never get over it." She looked into her eyes for a moment.

The therapist cleared her throat, "Moving past that, you two are both here now. You both have nothing to feel guilty for, the only one in the situation that should feel guilty at all is the man who tortured you both. He is the one at fault. Next question; has the event changed your sex life?" She asked, as if she was just asking what they were having for dinner.

Callie began, "Well it's been -"

The blonde cut her off and shook her head, they needed to be honest about everything, not just to the therapist but to each other. It was part of the reason they broke up, Callie didn't tell Arizona that she didn't want to go to Africa. They were still working past the more important issues, but being honest was one. "We haven't had sex since he made us." Arizona's eyes darted downward and she took a deep breath.

Dr. Mills already knew the answer to the question but she decided to ask anyway, "Is there a reason for that?"

Callie looked at Arizona, waiting for her to look at one of them. Arizona's eyes met the brunette's. "Every time I think of having sex with her, I feel like I'll think we're performing for him again. I just looked at her that day, when he told us too." The blonde's hand found Callie's and she gave it a squeeze. "When I look at her, I feel every ounce of love I always have but now I also feel the control of what he made us do. We had to do it for him, and I don't want to remember it every time we are intimate." Her eyes closed as tears streamed down her face.

"I think that's enough for today, we can pick this up next week Arizona?" Dr. Mills asked, looking over at Callie seeing if she would want to be there for the next session.

"Yes." Arizona managed to get out as Callie offered her a tissue, the brunette nodded her head at the therapist.

"Let's go home, Arizona." She kissed her cheek and pulled her up from the couch that they were sitting on.

When they were back at their apartment, Callie decided that they needed a night to relax just the two of them. She opened a bottle of red wine and ordered a pizza. She wanted tonight to be a reminder that even through all of their problems, things would be okay. Maybe they wouldn't be the same as they were before Samuel, but they could still be good. They could still be happy.

The pizza had arrived about a half hour after Callie had ordered it, and they were on the couch sipping their wine when she decided to ask Arizona something that she couldn't get off her mind. "It's been bugging me since we were there but why didn't you tell me that having sex with me could be a reminder of what happened?" Her voice and eyes were soft as she asked the question.

Arizona took a deep breath before she answered the question, "I've messed up more than enough when I left you. I didn't want you to leave because I'm not ready to have sex with you. I don't know when I'll be ready. If you want to leave I -"

The brunette shook her head and cupped her cheek, "You won't get rid of me that easily. I will wait until you're ready. I'm never leaving you, do you understand?" She gave her a smile before pressing her lips against Arizona's.

What Arizona didn't realize that was that what happened in Africa was also hurting Callie, not as bad but there was still pain with the memories from Africa. They had a lot to work on, and it was only beginning.