Death: Bonus chapter finally uploaded! Please feel free to share this with all of your friends guys. This story is now completed! *passes out*

"Greeting people of the living. The dead are honored to bring you all ten members of the Akatsuki for one, large group meeting, much to their disdain I'm afraid, but oh well. Fan service is fan service. Dare we listen to their comments?"

"I thought we agreed that this would only take a few minutes of my time. Must we all be brought together like this. It's quite piquing." Sasori sighed and slouched back on his interview chair.

"Yeah, Danna's right, un." Deidara agreed while crossing his arms.

"You don't have to comment on everything I say you know?" Sasori added. Before the little exchange of words could spawn into a theater-wide confrontation, Hidan interrupted.

"FUCK YOU! I told you I don't want some shitty, brown drink!" He shouted, drawing the attention of Death. She turned her head just in time to see one of the poor undead waiters get thoroughly disemboweled with Hidan's three bladed, red scythe right down the middle and everywhere in between. Death frowned and arched her eyebrow at Hidan's temper. You'd think that a lifetime career of assassinating people had left it's job keepers mature enough to handle a bit of tea and coffee.

"Ahem," Death coughed. "I'll have you know that your reckless slashing won't kill anyone. They're already dead, so just calm down and sit." Death gestured to one of the interview seats currently arranged in a circle with Death at the far curve, overseeing all of the members. She waited for the waiter to pull himself back together (literally), attaching and snapping all of his missing limbs back into place and scrambling off with his tail tucked between his legs before she averted her eyes to other sounds.

"Are we getting an extra pay for this?" Kakazu questioned.

"Yes," Death started to get a little tired of the shinobi's way of speaking to her. "You'll be paid generously in your tickets to Heaven. Now, shut up." She snapped lightly. Itachi and Kisame remained seated in their chairs and were as silent as when they first entered through the auditorium doors. Kisame was currently occupied, trying to blind himself with the spotlights, Death supposed. Why else would he look up? Well actually, so was Konan, Pein, and Zetsu...

"Hm?" Death arched her eyebrows before looking up. Big mistake.

"SENPAI!" A candy coated voice shrieked from above. Tobi leaped off the stage ceiling and pounced right on top of Deidara with a crash as the sheer force tipped the chair's back to the floor.

"Get off me!" He flailed and managed to throw the orange masked shinobi off of him and back into an empty interview chair. Deidara then staggered back up, brushed himself off, and sat back down begrudgingly glaring at his former partner.

"Good, now that we're all here, let's commence the interview."

"But, we're not even dead yet. Yeah!" Zetsu protested. Death whipped her head around to glare at the two halves.

"You will be in a second if you don't shut up." She hissed. Zetsu remained silent from then. "Now, let's start with question one shall we." Death leaned back against her chair. "From, Vouvezoir. Who does all of your guys's nails? Do you go to a parlor?"

"Well yes, occasionally we stop by at some small towns or villages." Pein answered solemnly.

"Whoa, you're gonna tell them about all that already, un?" Deidara smirked.

"Why not, we're already all dead right?" Konan implied.

"Yeah, no shit, bitch." Hidan laughed.

"Excuse me?" Konan narrowed her eyes at the thought-to-be-immortal.

"Nah, nah, not you sweet cheeks. I meant the blond one with anger issues over there." Hidan nodded to Deidara.

"What'd you say?" He almost stood up.

"Look who's talking." Sasori said bit back at the Jashinist.

"We actually use their service as an excuse to wether we decide to burn it down or not." Itachi answered. "If they manage to do a decent job, we spare them and buy their polish. But if they don't, we burn down the village and leave no survivors while raiding their supplies as much as we can." He answered in such a cold and lifeless monotone, that Death actually thought about recruiting him as one of her deputies. After all, being Death you're always packed on schedule.

"So... The reason you were becoming famous for destroying villages, was because their salon service wasn't good?" Death questioned.

"Well, anything would sound a little stupid when you say it like that." Kisame defended. All those rush hours, were because some group didn't like a nail salon shop? Death almost face palmed. She hated rush hours.

"Tobi in it for the candy!" Tobi chided along.

"Besides, sometimes the village is rich and has bad nail service." Kakazu approved.

"You guys soooo don't deserve to go to Heaven." Death whispered under her breath. "Alright, question two, from Warrior of Sangre. Who do you wish to be your partner instead of your current one?"

"Are you kidding me, I couldn't ask for a better partner!" Pein pulled Konan closer.

"Me neither." She agreed and leaned into him.

"Well, can I at least get one that doesn't shout at my face all day with all three of his mouths?" Sasori sighed.

"That's not a nice thing to say, danna." Deidara acted hurt.

"I'd be fine with Sasori." Itachi admitted.

"What, I'm not good enough for you Uchiha?" Kisame's chuckle kind of sounded like a dead cat slowly being dragged to the litter box while on catnip.

"No, you just... Smell like fish." Itachi confessed.

"Oh, I see how it is." Kisame crossed his arms, looking hurt. "Then I'd like to have Konan as a partner instead." He pouted. Pein pulled her defensively close to him while giving Kisame the stink eye.

"Tobi is fine with senpai!" Tobi expressed with a vigorous nod of the head.

"I'm all open for sexy blue here." Hidan winked at Konan. "Stay out of this fish stick." Hidan warned Kisame. Pein just about had it at this point and was just about to hurl himself at the Jashinist when Death interrupted.

"OK, I think that's enough drama here. For me and for Konan" She announced. "Let's just skip to the next question now." She flipped the notebook. "Question three, from The Elementalist. Describe your dream partner."

"Was that even a question?" Sasori sneered.

"One that respects my art, un." Deidara crossed his arms.

"Fine, I'll answer anyway. Well, he or she would have to be easy on the eyes, useful, intelligent, and knows when to shut up or keep out of my way." Sasori complied.

"I'd like an honorary Jashinist babe that knows how to kick ass and get kinky." Hidan advocated. Death frowned and pulled a rope lever beside her and all of the sudden a whole mob of white bunnies dressed in pink bikinis rained down on Hidan like a fluffy strawberry-cream shower. Hidan swatted one over his head and cursed as he finished kicking the rest away off his cloak to land in scattered piles within the audience. They seemed happy to have Hidan infested, bunny souvenirs.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Hidan screamed.

"There shall be no dirty name calling in my auditorium. You here?" Death commanded. With a threatening point of her finger, Hidan went dead silent. "Tobi, Kakazu, Zetsu, I haven't heard from you yet."

"Tobi want someone to laugh at all his funny jokes! Because Tobi is so funny!" Tobi giggled. All of the members rolled their eyes.

"Someone who knows the value of money." Kakazu answered.

"Why need another partner? I've got my half full with this idiot keeping me company 24/7. Hey!" Zetsu stated.

"Alright, question four, from Abomination. If you had to destroy a small village all by yourself, what is your opinion on the quickest way to demolish them?" Death asked.

"All by ourselves, huh? Well, I'd have to get to know the village first, and pinpoint it's weakest spots. I'd lure all of the village folk out into a shelter with a few forest fires in the area and just destroy the whole thing before they come back. I'd kill all of the survivors encountered. There, quick and thorough. Although, nothing's more efficient than a whole team to back you up just in case." Pein gestured to all of the members of the Akatsuki.

"I'd actually kill off the village leaders first, and then the ninja, if any at all, royal families, parents, children and infants. Then we could decide wether I should just leave it as a ghost town or just annihilate the evidence completely." Konan described.

"Well, isn't that pretty cold." Sasori began. "I'd just look for an opportunity to get the village all gathered up in one place and take them all out with a little poison needle rain all at once. And if any of their worthless ninja come out of hiding, I'd be well hidden in a hiding place of my own, manipulating it all from afar." Sasori strategized.

"I'd just blow it all up like one of my most prized masterpieces, un. No effort necessary." Deidara bragged.

"Huh, the blonde chick has a point! I'll just march right in there and assassinate everyone until their blood can be seen from the fucking sky! And for the finally, I'll offer up their leaders as sacrifices. All hail Jashin!" Hidan practically threw his whole body into the air along with his fist.

"I'd capture the most important village folk, make allies or neighbors pay for ransom while I raid and kill off all the other lesser members of the town." Kakazu stated.

"... Just burn it to the ground... After I eat all the dango they have." Itachi spoke.

"I know I have to be near a river or sea to do this, but I'd submerge it underwater to feed all of my babies." Kisame smiled from gill to gill. "Or sharks, whatever you prefer."

"Like what happened to Atlantis?" Death questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh... Yeah." Kisame nodded.

"Oh, Tobi don't mean to destroy villages. Village destroying just... Happens!" Tobi perked.

"We're not the all out confrontation type, but we're sure our clones could handle that no problem. Indeed." Zetsu crossed his arms, looking as smug as ever.

"Alright, I'm done with this." Death suddenly flung her notepad all the way backstage, accidentally hitting one of her skeletal crew members in the scull.

"What?" Pein questioned.

"That's it. That was all the questions submitted. Now you may all proceed to Heaven, however much you don't deserve it." Death conjured up a door sized, opalescent portal near the stage ceiling with a single turn of her wrist while teleporting Zetsu back to the living with a single snap for her fingers. "You guys all have legs, so hop to it." Death said goodbye to all of the members as they departed through the white, round gates, some a little more confused than others. However, when Death turned her attention back to the stage, she noticed that Itachi still remained standing.

"Itachi, is there something wrong?" Death asked.

"... Can I ask you a favor?" The Uchiha spoke. Death blinked.

"Huh? Well, of course."

"Could you... Let me stay here? At least until my brother comes back? I'd like to see him again." Was that just a smile on that expressionless Uchiha face?

"Hm, of course. I think this time, your meeting will be permanent." Death smiled back and signed off... For good.

Death: Wow, this thing took about a whole year to complete... AND I'M STILL ALIVE! XD Me and Dark won't be on this account as much. Only to talk to a few friends and reply to reviews. Dark and I are REALLY in Homestuck right now and going to a lot of conventions in the meanwhile. I also have lots of inspirations for brand new stories (not fanfics) coming up. *Giggles* See if you guys can find us on wattpad. ;) Anyway, thanks for all the support you guys gave us with view, reviews, favorites, and follows. It really edged us on. I don't think we would've made it this far without you guys! THANK YOU for all of you guys that stuck with us through the bitter end! XD