I Can't Take This Anymore!

"Hey Lithuania, wake up. We need to make Mr. Russia's breakfast."

I was gently shaken from my slumber by Estonia this morning. But this morning I was feeling unusually tired. I figured it was probably because I had to stay up with Russia, and the other two Baltic's were allowed to go to bed before me yesterday. Russia says I'm his 'favorite' but, I'm not to sure about that... He always works me the hardest. Sometimes, he even tortures me. His constant torturing has caused me to have several scares on my back and other parts of my body... Luckily, some of my other scars have finally disappeared.

Today, surprisingly, Russia gave Latvia and Estonia a day off. But that was only after we had made him breakfast.

"Um, Mr. Russia. What about me?"

Russia laughed maniacally causing shivers to run up and down my body. "Oh my little Lithuania, you're are my favourite. Why would I let you take the day off?" He smiled, but I could see the evil behind it. I trembled as I could feel his aura growing bigger and bigger as time passed. "Lithuania, you can just clean the house until I need you, da?" I just nodded in response, to frightened to speak. When Russia wanted me for something, I never know what it's for. But sometimes I can guess... Sometimes he abuses me or forces me to do unspeakable things. Just thinking of the things he's done to me gives me goosebumps.

As I was cleaning the living room, I made a huge mistake. I started to drift off ti sleep, and I knocked over Russia's favorite antique vase, and it smashed into a million pieces. "Oh no!" I tried to pick up the pieces, but I wasn't fast enough. Russia had heard the crash, and I could hear his footsteps getting closer and closer with every passing second. "Lithuania is something wrong?" He popped his head into the doorway, smiling. "I-I'm so sorry Mr. Russia! I didn't mean to break your vase!" I fell to the floor and kneeled before him. I have never felt this low before. I used to be so strong. I defeated Prussia way back, and now, now I'm just...not the same person anymore.

I'm weak...

Russia just patted my head and told me to look up. I did as I was told. He said my name, sweetly and softly. Causing me to feel at ease, but only a little. He then kneeled in front of me, and suddenly, and unexpectedly, his hand made contact with my face. Blood dripped down the right side of my face, and warm, salty tear's began to flow down my cheeks. Russia said nothing as he stood up. I didn't look at him at all. The fear of his presence made me look down at the ground, and tremble. Before I even realized, he grabbed me by my collar and dragged me away. The next thing i knew, I was thrown into the cell in the basement of his house.

"No! Please Mr. Russia! I hate it in here! Please!" I pleaded and cried, but he did not listen. He just smiled as he walked away and locked the door. I could feel tears flowing from my eyes non stop. I lay on my back, and my tears began to dry on my face. While i wondered and feared what Russia would do to me later. This cell was moist, cold and there were no windows, so I could never tell what time of day it was... And I have been in this cell far to many times. The last time I was in here, he physically and mentally tortured me. Actually, he always finds new ways to torture me. He never allows me to eat, drink or leave for about a week or longer sometimes. If I stay for about month, he feeds me once in a while.

But why does he always put me in here? Does he enjoy the atmosphere of this place? No... That was a dumb question... It's obvious that he didn't want anyone to know about it. Whenever I am finally able to came out, I always learn that Russia lies to Estonia and Latvia, telling them that I went to Poland's house. Which is more proof that he doesn't want anyone else to know about it. I could have and I should have told them the truth, but for some reason, I can't.

-000-

Russia had come back a few hours later. Not to let me out, but to torture me once again. There are handcuffs on the wall of the cell, and he always puts my hands threw them, tightening them, until my wrist bleed. I've always wondered how he was able to tighten them so much...but it is Russia...

He had tortured me with a whip today. He took my shirt off and continuously whipped my back, and arms. Russia would laugh with my every scream.

'Fight back...' Whose voice is that?

"I'll see you tomorrow my little Lithuania." He said as he let loose my hands from the handcuffs. He smiled his usual smile. But if you know Russia well enough, you know it is not a kind smile. When Russia smiles, he is usually plotting different things in his head. His aura was also growing. As it grew, it started to become visible. It was a deep eerie purple, and it looks as though if you touched it, you would die.

I was shaking with fear, and pain. 'I don't know if I will be the same after this...' I thought, sitting in the cold dark, moist cell.

'Why don't you fight Russia? Fight the bastard!' The same voice i had heard earlier echoed through my head. The voice sounded similar to mine, but more sadistic and fierce. "Who are you?!" I screamed aloud.

'I am you and you are me. You just haven't realized it yet,' said voice inside my head laughed maniacally. "How are you me and I am you?"

'Don't worry. You'll understand soon enough. Now stop asking questions about me. We must beat that bastard! Look what he's done to you!'

I looked at myself, noticing the many cuts on my arms.

'Let me take over. If you are too weak to do it, I can.'

I didn't respond to the voice in my head. I just stayed quiet. And since I said nothing, he disappeared. But, the words he said repeated in my head for the remaining day I was in the cell.

Fight the bastard...

Let me take over...

What he meant by that confused me, but he had a point.

-000-

I was finally let out of the cell in a about day or so. I never actually knew how long I was in there, it felt like forever. "Good morning Lithuania. How was Poland's house?" Latvia had asked me the following morning I had been released from the hellish void of that cell. "It was wonderful." I lied, smiling with a cheerful tone in my voice.

'Don't lie! Tell him the truth!' That voice had returned. I ignored him, and he faded back into the depths of my mind. I didn't want to admit it, but that voice, the other me was right. I need to stand up, I need to tell the truth. But if I stand up, I will just end up losing...

Or even dying...

Russia is just too strong. 'I guess this is going to be my life forever...' I thought as I made a cup of tea for Russia. "Here you are Sir."

"Thank you my little Lithuania." he smiled once again. I know his smile all to well know. It's way too familiar to me now... "Wait my little Lithuania. I want you to entertain me, da?"

"Eh? W-what do you mean?"

"Dance." He giggled, handing me a tutu, he had been hiding in this room. I was about to leave the room to change, but he stopped me. I looked back at him, worry flooding my eyes. His dark violet eyes went from looking kind, to a more sadistic look. "Put it on right here," his voice sounded unusually seductive. "B-but Mr. Russia..."

"No! Put it on here!" I kept on trying to convince him to allow me to change into this embarrassing excuse of an outfit else where, but obviously, he would not let me. He then snapped and took out his rusted pipe. He hit my knee caps with it and then my gut. He swung the pipe back, preparing to swing at me once again. He swung, but to his and my surprise I caught it before it could make contact with my body. I felt my self suddenly change... I felt like a different Lithuania.

"Stop ordering me around..." I said in a quiet yet, confident tone. Russia forced the pipe out of my hand, and once again prepared to attack me with it. But before he could, I kicked him in the gut, causing him to fall to the floor. "I told you to stop! Stop ordering me around! I am not some pet!" My voice sounded exactly like the the other me. I smiled sadistically as I kick him hard in the face. I looked up into the mirror across the room, only to notice that my normally green eyes, had a red tint in them.

But I didn't care...All i wanted to was kill the Russian man that was beneath me... I picked Russia up by his collar and threw him against the mirror, causing it to crack and several shards to pierce his skin. His jacket was now covered in blood. I smiled as I saw the pain and fear in Russia's eyes. He was about to speak, but I did not want to hear his words. So I punched him in the face continuously, more and more blood dripping down his face. Latvia and Estonia then walked in, hearing the commotion.

"Lithuania what are you doing?!" Estonia yelled in horror as he looked at the blood covered Russian in my hands.

"He deserves it! You two wouldn't understand. He does horrible things to me!"

"Lithuania... Please..."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear your bull crap! It's his fault I've become like this!"

Estonia ran up to me and tried to pull me away from the Russian. I struggled to get him off of me, and by accident, I punched him. I had punched my friend...

What have I become?...

"E-Estonia... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to..."

"It's alright. Maybe you should go to your room."

I nodded and left the room, afraid of what Russia would punish me with.

I threw myself onto my bed, letting my face hit the pillow. 'Wasn't that great? We beat the crap outta him!' That same voice had returned. His voice sounded more cynical and sadistic than before.

"No it wasn't great! Why did you make me do that?"

'Do you not remember that I am you and you are me? We are one in the same person.'

It was then that I realized. I snapped. I had accepted that other side of me. That side that couldn't take the torture, the demands. The side that wasn't afraid of Russia at all.

The voice inside my head laughed.

'At last you realized.'

A/N: this is just a random one shot I came up with. I was planning on putting this in a fan fiction contest but for some reason I didn't. And that's why it's so short, there was a limit and I couldn't swear a lot and I couldn't describe things as I would have liked to. Maybe I will add more detail and swearing later on. I suppose tell me what you think of this version and then if you all want I'll add more detail and swearing and such. ! And I will finish The Spice Of Love; I'm just waiting for my editor to edit it. Well she you guys later in whatever I write next!

Laterz~~