In Denial

Dean Winchester is not gay.

He has made this abundantly clear in various ways, from subtle wording to yelling as loud as he can. Most of the time, though, he just flat out tells people that he's straight. Doesn't matter that he's currently screwing Cas every chance he gets; he's still straight.

It started the first time Sam had to stay behind on a hunt. He'd broken his arm, and instead of waiting for it to heal, Dean took off with Castiel, leaving Sam at Bobby's. It was a straightforward hunt – a werewolf in New Jersey that had already killed six people. At least, it should have been straightforward, but somehow Dean had ended up with a ripped open scalp, and Castiel with a set of claw marks down his chest. And since Castiel was still fallen, at this point, he barely had enough power to zap them back to the hotel room.

"Dammit, Cas, you're going to have to help me stitch up this mess," Dean told him, holding a damp towel against his forehead.

"I know nothing of medical care. Would it not be better to go to a hospital?"

"Yeah, right, and have to explain why we look like we were mauled by dogs? No thanks, not right now. Come on, I'll show you what to do."

"Very well."

The stitching went mostly okay; they were messy and uneven, but by the time he finished, the bleeding had stopped. Then it was time to take care of the next issue.

"Lose the shirt, Cas. We need to bandage your chest."

Castiel tilted his head, confused. "How can I remove my shirt without first removing my coat or tie?"

"Yeah, well, lose those, too," Dean said impatiently. "Come on, we don't have all night." He walked out to get fresh bandages from the Impala, and by the time he got back, Castiel was sitting on the bed, topless, the wounds bleeding slowly down his torso. Something about the sight made something stir in Dean, a feeling that he hadn't thought he was capable of, but he ignored it, buried it, and sat next to him like nothing was wrong. Without saying a word, Dean began to wipe the blood from Cas's chest.

"Now lift your arms," he told him, grabbing a bandage.

Silently, Cas lifted his arms, and Dean began wrapping him up. The bandage ended around Cas's back, and instead of making him turn, which would have been easier, Dean simply wrapped his arms around Cas to tie off the end. While doing so, he made the mistake of looking up. That was all it took, that one simple glance that made their eyes meet, and he was lost, staring into the angel's eyes without a thought for how he was getting closer, and closer, and closer . . . until finally there was no room between them, nothing separating them, and it felt so good, so right. . . .

But when Dean woke up, Cas was gone, and he didn't see him for weeks after.

The second time was after Cas got back, after being missing for weeks.

The three of them, Dean, Sam, and Bobby, stood in Bobby's library, and Cas suddenly popped up looking disheveled. Naturally, Dean started it.

"Where have you been!" he yelled, shooting up from his position on the couch.

"I was . . . away."

"Yeah, thanks, we got that. Did it ever occur to you, maybe, that we would be worried? That we thought you were dead? You weren't answering your phone, we couldn't summon you, nothing." With each emphasized word, Dean drew closer to Cas . . . "We had no idea where you were, we've been searching everywhere, you couldn't have at least let me know you were leaving first? Did the thought not cross you mind that we might actually care?" . . . Until finally, he was face to face with the angel, only an inch between them. The heat being radiated was enough that it took everything Dean had to control himself; whether it was from hitting Cas, or jumping him, he wasn't sure.

"Uh, Dean," Sam interrupted, "Me and Bobby, we were just going to head out . . . to, uh, the library. If you need us, give us a call."

"Yeah, sure," Dean replied distractedly, not really hearing what was said as Sam and Bobby left, exchanging meaningful glances with each other. Neither knew for sure what had happened that night, but both had a pretty good guess.

"Dean, I am sorry, but–"

"You're sorry?" Another little bit closer. "Sorry?" And closer still. "Cas, I was out of my freakin' mind, and you're sorry?" A breath separated them. "I have half a mind to–"

Half a mind to what, Cas would never know, because Dean was silenced as Cas pressed their lips together roughly.

Dean had never had sex on a carpet before, and as good as it was, he wasn't inclined to repeat the experience. The rug burn they shared made it fairly obvious to Bobby and Sam what had happened while they were gone.

After that, the times together blurred. A frantic kiss in a hotel bathroom. The rushed removal of clothes in an alley after beheading a vampire. Shared breath as they lay in an abandoned house. Dean had to admit, as straight as he was, the sex was better than anything he'd had before.

And yes, after all this, Dean still insisted he was straight. Bobby never mentioned it, but he always gave Dean a certain look when he insisted he was.

Sam, on the other hand, was quite vocal that Dean was obviously in denial. He kept making jokes about it as well.

"Hey, Dean, I've figured out why you only have one coat."

"Why's that, Sammy?"

"Because there's only room for one coat in the closet with you."

"Hey, Dean, have you reached Narnia in the back of the closet yet?"

"Really, dude, Narnia?"

"You're looking a little pale, Dean. Guess that's what happens when you're in the closet long enough."

"Okay, enough," Dean said, pulling the Impala over to the shoulder. He looked over at Sam angrily. "I. Am. Straight. Okay, straight!"

"Dean, the fact that you and Cas have been rocking the bed for months now says otherwise."

"No, actually, because technically, angels are gender less. Cas would still be Cas if he was in some chick's body, so it doesn't matter."

"Dean is correct," Cas suddenly says from the back seat. Both hunters jump and spin around. "Angels are technically gender less. However, those who have been stationed on Earth for long enough, myself included, felt it would help in times when we needed to take a vessel if we decided on a gender. So, in that sense, I am male."

There is silence for a few minutes as both brothers let that sink in. Finally, Sam turns to look at Dean.

"Okay, fine!" Dean yells. "I'm gay, then! Are you happy?"

"I dunno, dude, I still want to know if you found Narnia," he says with a satisfied smirk. Dean ignores him and starts the car as Cas sits in the backseat, puzzling over Sam's words..

"I don't understand that reference.

[A/N] I can't take credit for the closet jokes. They're on Tumblr. Also, if you find any speeling mistakes, it was midnight and my brain was half melted, that is my only excuse.