SourceURL:file:/localhost/Users/Jim/Desktop/Slammed%20Doors

There are several things in the world that I can't stand, and slamming doors happens to be one of them. In this fic, Misaki strongly is a reflection of myself so he may be a little OOC… but this is my story, so it's okay! Most of the time, this will be written from 1st person jumping between Misaki and Akihiko, so I'll be sure to make the headings quite clear on who's point of view it is.

Warnings: yaoi, male x male, sexual situations, and self-harm

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, nor am I making any profit off of them; they strictly belong to the Junjou Romantica series.

Those of you looking for a pure romance, look no further! Plenty of pure fluff right here. Enjoy, my dears!

Chapter One: Heartfelt Misunderstandings

Misaki

I hate it when doors are slammed, especially when you just finished talking to that person. It sends a message of saying, "I don't want to speak with you any longer because you got me upset." Every time I hear it I cringe, and I get a sting in the depths of my chest. It's just one of those things I can't take.

Opening the door to Usagi-san's overly extravagant condo, I tossed my bag aside the door shouting, "I'm home!" I liked saying that. It made me feel like I belonged here, with Usagi-san.

I found the author sitting on the couch next to his Suzuki-san. His face was masked with concentration; gripping his pencil so hard his knuckles were nearly white. The note pad in his lap was a mass of random words and thick black arrows, however, it seemed to make seemed to him, no matter how disorganized it appeared to be.

Sensing my presence looming over him he looked up at me. "Misaki!" he sounded rather startled, "Did you just get home? I didn't hear you come in."

"That's okay, Usagi-san. You seem pretty busy."

"I suppose I am, actually. I just got a new job from Aikawa and I'm drafting out some new ideas for it," he stated, clearly proud that he had gotten a head start for once.

"I see, well then I'm happy that you're off to a start. Maybe you can tell me about the story at dinner? I was just about to get started."

"Anything for my Misaki," he replied, gazing at me intensively.

He made a move to ruffle my hair, raising his arm a bit. I scrunched my eyes and looked down, waiting to feel the cool hand on top of my head. But it never came. I batted my eyes for a moment before looking up at Usagi-san. There was still a slight smirk on his face but it didn't touch his eyes in the slightest. They looked empty, longing almost, and I could tell he was trying his best not to let it show. He had retracted his hand and it was now hanging limply at his side. The small action cut deeper than I had originally thought it ever could. Did he not want to touch me? This had been occurring a lot the last few days. Usagi-san stopped touching me. The small little gestures were still there, but he didn't try and molest me anymore, not that I'm upset about that part. He doesn't beg me to come cuddle in front of the television after dinner, nor does be sneak up on my while I'm cooking or studying just to sit with me for while and steal a kiss. I acted like the downplay on physical affection would be to my satisfaction, but in reality, I missed them. I never new how much Usagi-san showed me he loved me until he stopped. But the thing that's got me worried is that I don't know what I did to make it stop. I haven't been slacking on any of the chores, I rarely serve leftovers, I believe my cooking is at least decent, and I no longer protest about sharing the same bed with him a few times a week, even if we don't have sex. Did he not want me? No, I wouldn't allow myself to believe that. Usagi-san loves he. He's told me a dozen times.

Once back to reality I realize I had picked a random spot on the floor and had been staring distantly at it for several moments. Looking back to Usagi-san's face had gone form longing, to somnolent. The smirk was gone and he was now quietly gazing at me with a soft smile on his face. It was almost sad; it worried me.

"Will you call me for dinner?"

"Of course, Usagi-san."

With that he turned and proceeded to walk back up the stars. I seemed to be frozen in my spot before my feet finally started to carry me toward the kitchen.

"Oh, Misaki?" called from the top of the stairs. I whipped around waiting for those three words he had not said to me at all the last few days, the ones I use to hear multiple times a day. "…Welcome home." And my heart sunk.

With this he proceeded up the stairs into his office with out a second glance, slamming the door behind him. I know he didn't mean to slam it, sometimes the door just shuts that way, but I still cringed at the sound.

Akihiko

I hate doing this. I hate everything about this. I hate the fact that he's so far away.

But in a way, I hate him for it. He's the one that wanted me this far away. Why should I have to suffer because of this? I want him. I need him. But clearly, that doesn't mater to Misaki.

No, I had to back track myself. I love Misaki no matter what, I do. I just need to give him some time to come around and then everything will be okay, right?

~Flashback: 3 days prior~

Misaki was in the kitchen cooking, as usual when he gets home from school. I, for once perhaps acting as the perverted rabbit Misaki portrays me to be, was out of Misaki. This wont do at all, now will it?

He was standing over the stove, having to stand on his toes to peer over the rim of he oversized pot he was mixing, where did he even find a pot that big anyway? I took my usual seat, thinking about just how cute and small he was. Misaki tensed, clearly sensing the fact that I was watching him and that I was waiting for the perfect chance to strike. He knew this, however, he did not act upon it. I knew he wouldn't. I know better than to molest him when he was near the stove. I wouldn't forgive myself if he were burned because of me. He appeared to be making soup. I rose from my chair, taking light steps so I was leaning on the counter next to him.

"What is it, Usagi-san?" he asked, none too pleasantly. I hate it when he used that tone, and he knows it. I chuckled at my punishment for plotting to 'molest' him.

"What are you making?" I asked, letting him know that I was no longer, in fact, looking for a way to jump him. His shoulders seemed to relax at this, and his eyes lost a bit of their fire.

"Miso soup…" he started, "it's cold out now and I wanted to make a lot of it for us and Nii-san." His voice was so innocent; I wondered how it was possible he preserved it after everything I had done to him. I smirked at the thought.

He let down the wooden spoon he has been using to stir the soup and proceeded over to the pantry. This was my chance. I stalked Misaki as if he was my pray as he looked over the different spices. Towering behind him, I wrapped my arms around him, capturing him in my embrace.

"Uahhh!" he jumped, "Baka Usagi! Don't sneak up on me like that!" He was still struggling to get free from my iron grip. I leaned down to nip the top of his right ear, making him shiver in my arms. "Usagi-san… not here…" I moved one of my hands to the hem of his shirt, slowly rubbing a feather light finger around his navel. He let out a breathy moan before picking up his fire once more. He started struggling harder, determined to get free.

Knowing I was about to go too far, I leaned down to his ear yet again, "I love you, Misaki."

With this I let him go.

He whipped around glaring daggers at me. "Baka Usagi!" he yelled, "Stupid Usagi, perverted Usagi, no-good Usagi!" the small boy continue, his face now red. "Why do you keep on with this? You know I hate it! I thought you loved me, damnit! Why do you keep forcing me to do all these things with you? You know, if you can stop rapping me for ten minutes maybe I would start to be a little more affectionate with you!" he hadn't stopped yelling, his frame was shaking from his sudden outburst and I knew he meant every word he said. "Damnit… you make it so hard to love you… damnit… BAKA-USAGI!"

He turned back to his soup, still shaking slightly. As much as his words had affected me, I knew they had done more to him. He was on the verge of tears, this I knew. I step behind him; about to wrap him in my arms but deciding against it, he needed some time. I settles for placing a hand on him head an ruffling his hair in the most affectionate way I could before retreating back into my office.

The things Misaki ha said had cut into me deeply. I would give him what he wanted. I would back off and let him come around in his own time, just like he wanted. If it would make him happy I would do anything for him. It may be hell for me, but as long as it was what was best for Misaki then I was okay with it.

~End of Flashback~

I sat in the office chair staring at the wall. I missed Misaki so much. I hate not being able to hold him, or kiss him freely. I wanted to be able to touch him again. I loved him with all my heart, and more than anything I wish he would want me to show it.

There you go, not the best chapter, but it will do until the story picks up, and it will, I promise! And yes, this is my first fanfiction, although I've been writing independent works for years. So I am only new to this site, not writing, which I am rather proud to say. It would be lovely of you to R&R! I hope you enjoyed.

~ The Lady Jane

J. E. Fariss