Underneath - Chapter 1: New Beginnings

A/N: My first non-Aftermath story. I can assure you that this story is much darker than Aftermath, and explores more demented feelings. There is going to violence, language and sexual relations. Be warned, this will get dark.

Secondly, the title for this, Underneath, is also the title of an Adam Lambert song. I think the song fits the story.

Lastly, please no flames, I am not a professional writer, so there are mistakes. Constructive Criticism, is accepted and appreciated. I am looking for a beta.

I hope you all like this story. I've enjoyed writing it so far. Happy reading and comment if you would like! :)

Carefully she balanced the breakfast tray in one hand and in the other she carried the freshly laundered baby clothes. With her hands full she used her hip to push open the kitchen door of Grimmauld Place. She was at her wits end, but knew her friends needed help. Tired she took the stairs up to the first floor where the nursery resided. The door was opened and she heard the wailing of the twins coming from the bathroom. Poor Ginny she thought.

"Gin, honey, I have the babies laundry done." Hermione said as she walked in and put the basket in the rocker. She placed the breakfast tray on the stand and walked into the adjoined bathroom, there Ginny sat on the floor in front of the bathtub.

"Thanks, 'Mione. What would I do without you?" She said.

"I don't know, Gin. I don't know." She grabbed a towel and picked little James out of the bathtub, while Ginny picked up Lily. The twins of her two best friends were eleven months old and still hated bath time. With an effortless speed, Hermione had James dried off and dressed. Ginny was not too far behind her with Lily. Once both of the twins were dressed Hermione carried them both back to the main room and put them in their play area. The two of them quickly began playing with their toys.

"Do you need me to pick up the bathroom, Gin?" She asked turning around and looking at her six month pregnant friend.

"Hermione you do too much around here as it is. I think I can clean the bathroom." She responded.

"Gin, you know what the doctor said." She scolded. "You should be in bed right now."

"I am allowed up for four hours a day. I've barely been on my feet for an hour." She shot back.

"Fine, Gin. Do as you wish. I best not get yelled at by Harry later when he finds out." She snapped.

"You are not my warden, Hermione. Neither is he." She said raising her voice. Hermione took a deep breath; she knew she was getting angry, as was Ginny. The stress was not good for her in her delicate condition.

"I'm sorry, Gin." Hermione said ashamed of her behavior.

"It's alright, Hermione. I am sorry too. I hate being treated like a baby. I hate not being able to help you around the house. I hate my life." She sobbed. Hermione walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"You know you don't mean that, Gin. You are just stressed right now, and I cannot blame you. Why don't you go downstairs to the kitchen, I have tea on the stove, and I will send Peoni over to watch the twins." Hermione said making reference to the only house-elf the house had. She knew at that exact moment Peoni was getting Albus Severus up and around for the morning.

"That sounds nice, Hermione. I think I will do just that." Ginny said. "I think you better get that try up stairs, you know how he is when his meals are late." She said making reference to the breakfast try in the room. Hermione almost forgot about it. That was just what she needed, dealing with him every morning got tiring, but with her foul mood, it was sure to prove to be interesting.

Hermione walked over and picked up the tray and left the room. She walked down the hall a bit to Albus Severus' room and rasped on the door. "Yes, miss?" Peoni answered.

"When you finish up with Albus Severus could you go to the twin's room and watch them so Ginny can have some tea?" Hermione asked the young elf.

"Yes, miss. Albus is dress." She said. "We will go there now." She added walking back into the room, a few moments later she returned holding the hand of the one and a half year old Albus Severus Potter, who looked exactly like his father.

"Thank you, Peoni." Hermione said and then walked to the stairs. As she walked up the flights of stairs to the top floor she thought about her friend's situation. After the defeat of Lord Voldemort, Harry, Ron and she returned to Hogwarts where they completed their last year of school. Sadly, before Harry graduated, he was already a father. Halloween of 1998, Ginny came to Hermione crying, saying she feared she was pregnant.

Hermione did the only thing she could think of and that was taking her to the Hospital wing. She was right around three months pregnant, and by the spring they were parents to a healthy baby boy, Albus Severus Potter. Ginny and Harry both struggled to graduate after that, and Hermione was sure that without her help they wouldn't have.

And before Halloween 1999, Ginny was pregnant again. Harry got a job working as an Auror at the Department of Ministries, and couldn't find time to help Ginny take care of Albus Severus. The last thing he wanted was another baby as they tried to settle into their new lives. Since her parents pretty much disowned her once she got pregnant before graduation, Ginny had no help, so again they turned to her. And Hermione being too much of a kind soul agreed to move into Grimmauld Place with them and help Ginny adjust to her new life, take care of her baby, keep her company, and make sure that she was not alone while pregnant.

When the twins arrived things just got worse. Harry was off on some mission when Ginny went into labor and to make matters worse, it was storming out leaving Hermione to deliver the twins alone without help. Harry was not the least bit happy that he now had three children and a girlfriend to care for. He began spending more time away from home, leaving Hermione to pick up the pieces. It was too much for her to deal with; three kids, a huge house, and Ginny's postpartum depression. Her only choices was to hire outside help, and there is where Peoni came in. She hired Peoni part time paying her out of the reward money she was trying to live off of.

It was not long before Ginny was pregnant again, and Harry practically disappeared off the face of the planet. That was up until about a month ago when he finished with one of his missions. Unfortunately he didn't come home alone. Nope, he brought home someone he had long been searching for and finally found… Too bad the man he once was had vanished and a bitter bastard remained. On the plus side, Harry was more involved in the lives of his girlfriend and children, but he put more stress on her to make sure the house was running properly.

She often wondered why she stayed, but she knew deep down she didn't want to leave. Yes, this life was nothing like what she imagined, but it was easy, she didn't have deadlines, and she didn't have to work at some position she was not sure she would like. Being here with Harry and Ginny was not a challenge and she liked that.

As she reached the landing she knocked on the door to her right. There was no answer as usual so she just pushed it open. The room was dark with the drapes drawn tight. She heard the shower running in the adjoining room; thankfully she was not running late. Quickly she stripped the bed and remade it with clean linens. She then gathered the dirty dishes and the piles of clothes. She threw them out in the hall and then opened the drapes, an Owl with The Morning Prophet awaited. She let the bird in and put the paper on the small table where he ate at. Once the bird was given a treat it left and she sat up the breakfast as he preferred. She moved quickly but not quick enough. Before she could leave the room he was finished with his shower.

"What are you doing in here, Granger?" A snide voice asked. "You know I don't like having company? You were late this morning. Are you so incompetent that you cannot bring me my meal on time?" She sighed and turned around.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black, but Ginny needed me." Sirius Black stared at her, his eyes burning into hers. The years in the suspended animation of the veil took its toll on him. His face was gaunt, almost skeletal, skin stretched over bones. His hair was gangly even after he showered and his body was marred with scares. He had to walk with a cane because his right leg had little to no feeling in it.

"Excuses, excuses, Granger. I will not tolerate it." He said walking over to the table, she knew better than to move from her spot. He looked at the meal as if inspecting it and then sat down. Glaring at her he took a bite of the sausage on the plate than spit it back out. "HOW DARE YOU SERVE ME SOMETHING THIS VIAL?!" He yelled.

"It is the same that you have every morning, Sirius. Everything is the same." She explained.

He said nothing, just picked up the plate and threw it at her. It smashed against the wall; a piece ricocheting off and cutting her face, it was painful, but she didn't make a sound. He then threw the bowl of oatmeal at her, then the cup of tea and the glass of juice. None of the things hit her personally, but it accomplished the job he wanted to do. It scared her, it broke her, and it made her cry.

"You are such a weak woman, Granger. Get the hell out of my room and don't come back." He yelled. She didn't move. She said nothing, which only upset him more. Carefully he got out of his chair and walked over to her. He balled up his fists and for a second she thought he was going to hit her, but then he slammed them both into the wall. He moved his face in close only centimeters from hers.

"Get the fuck out of my room. Get the fuck out of my life. And get the fuck out of my house." He whispered in a rough voice. Then he removed his left hand from the wall and put it on her jaw, holding her face in place. And then he kissed her, it was rough and hard and made her tremble, it was to send her a message, "you are a fool for thinking that someone like me could ever love you. Now get the fuck out." He yelled and that was the end of it. She pushed him to the floor and ran out of the room. She raced down the stairs and right into her room where she slammed the door shut. Walking to her closet she yanked open the doors and threw her suitcase on the bed. In a mad rush she packed whatever she could in the little suitcase.

She couldn't believe what just happened. As she packed she thought back to the night Harry brought Sirius home. Harry was a wreck, bloodied and breathless; in his arms he held a crumpled Sirius, almost on the verge of death. Everyone was asleep, even Ron who was visiting that weekend. Hermione was awake having tea in the sitting room when Harry appeared and almost crumpled to the floor, quickly Hermione relieved Harry of Sirius' weight and told him she would take him to his room and then be down to help Harry. At three in the morning, she climbed the flights of stairs to the top where Sirius' old bedroom was.

As she laid him on the fresh sheets, he spoke, 'Hermione, I love you.' The words were quiet and low, barely audible, but she heard them and then he passed out. It took her a week of constant care to bring him back to consciousness, but she did it out of love for him. You see she loved him since the moment she saw him in the Shrieking Shack in her third year. Her heart dreamed of the day when he might return that love. When he fell into the veil she was more upset than Harry, but never told anyone. When Harry came to her one night and told her he knew of a way to bring Sirius back, she agreed to stay with Ginny and Harry's growing family to help them while Harry risked his life to save Sirius.

She cleaned his wounds, and made potions to make the scars less noticeable. She fed him, bathed him, and was a constant care giver. She fell deeper in love with him, and she thought as she tried teaching him how to walk again with his leg, that he was falling in love with her. One night, after Harry returned home he came and visited her in her room, asking her about Sirius and she poured her heart out to him about everything. She even mentioned that she love Sirius and felt he loved her. Harry was pleased for them both. But shortly after her conversation with Harry, Sirius turned cold. His temper became worse, he began keeping to himself, not even taking to Harry. He became violent, throwing things and yelling obscene words whenever someone was close to his room.

She blamed it on the ordeal he lived through in the veil. She made excuse for him. But every time she pushed, he pushed back further. He went out of his way to hurt her. And today was the last straw. After what he did to her, she knew she couldn't stand being in the house a moment longer. She couldn't stand being around him any longer. She slammed the lid on her suitcase and then apparated right out of her room and into Harry's office at The Ministry.

"Hermione, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I cannot stand being in the same house as him for a moment longer. I think I need a change. As much as I would love to stay and help Ginny, I just can't. I am sure that Molly would be willing to help until you can find someone else. Give Gin my love. Bye Harry." She said and then she apparated again before he could say another word. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew it was far away from that house and the man that lived in it.

XXXXX

Sirius struggled to his feet after Hermione pushed him to the floor. His ass hurt and he knew there would be a bruise there shortly. He didn't like hurting her as he did, but he had to. He was not the man she needed, nor wanted. He was a broken man; he was not a man at all. Hermione deserved better, and her little infatuation with him would disappear soon. Yes he had to hurt her, but in hurting her he helped her. He knew he was going to take a hell of a lot of heat from Harry about it, but he knew that Harry would understand. It was Harry after all that came to him and discouraged a blossoming relationship between the two of them. Harry would be happy, hell he already had a few house-elves on standby.

Hermione needed out of that house. She needed out of that life sucking hell hole that Harry had created. How could he expect someone like Hermione to run his house? It was killing her. And as much as he would miss her, he knew deep down that in the long run she would be grateful. Her feelings were hurt now, but not for long. Soon she would have established a new life for herself and she would forget all about the years that she wasted helping Harry out of his mistakes.

As he sat on his bed he ran his fingers across his lips. For months he longed to kiss her, he longed to do more than that, but he never would get to do any of the things he longed for. Her lips were so soft, and she smelled divine. If only he was more selfish he would have begged her to stay or at least take him with her, but then again, he couldn't expect someone half his age to take care of him when she should be creating her own life.