Disclaimer: I do not own Zorro, and do not make any money from writing this story. Dialogue and situations used from the episode are property of ZPI, the rest of the story is my property and cannot be printed or used without permission.

Author's Note: This is absolute pointless fluff, and I had so much fun writing it I still giggle, so I do hope you like it. Thanks to Marla, Mac and Klingon for looking at it first. This is for LaCorelli and Black Jag Knight who rave about my short stories and make me think they are not pointless.

I love gadgets. Toys. Usually very expensive toys. This story is inspired by an old idea but something I watched on YouTube recently.

If you want to see the box, go to YouTube and search 'techgeek useless box'. There's a 35 second video with a black box and a yellow background. Maybe wait until you read what it does, then go watch the video after Victoria finds out in about 700 words. You don't have to see the video to understand the story, though.

zzz

Victoria glanced around the tavern. Crowds of people were sitting down, standing at the bar, eating and drinking and having fun. The tables were all full, and business was booming today.

She was miserable.

She frowned at the table in the corner. Three caballeros passing through Los Angeles were sitting there now, eating her enchiladas. They'd already complimented her on her cooking several times. One was even quite handsome. The table had remained empty most of the week. People in Los Angeles were used to Diego or Alejandro de la Vega sitting there. Victoria was used to them sitting there. Alejandro had come in a few times this week, but it was Diego she was missing.

She'd never realized how often he came in to her tavern. He always tried whatever new she'd cooked that afternoon, was never picky. She'd sit and talk with him often, and a few times he'd help her out with customers or her work when she was overwhelmed. Now she was busy, but she had help and everything was taken care of at the moment. The handsome traveler waved at her from his seat in the corner, and Victoria waved and looked away. She'd been looking at the table, but she hadn't been seeing the present occupants.

She walked down the bar and picked up several dirty dishes before going back into the kitchen. Sometimes Diego would come in the kitchen and talk with her if he was bored or if she was upset about something. She missed him, and that made her sad. She didn't think he'd miss her at all. He'd gone to visit Monterrey almost two weeks ago. She wondered if he was seeing a woman. She remembered Diego had said he was in love with another when his ex-fiancé had shown up in Los Angeles.

Alejandro had let her borrow a book last weekend. He didn't recommend one to her, though. His eyes didn't light up as he held a book and told her how much she was going to love this part, and he didn't fidget impatiently whenever he asked if she'd read a certain chapter yet. Now she'd finished the entire book, and Diego wasn't here to talk to about it. Once she had gotten a book from a different friend. She'd let him read it and had been able to tease Diego about what adventures awaited him inside the pages. Many people complained that Diego wasn't much like his father. Victoria missed him for precisely those reasons.

She stacked the last cup beside the sink and wiped her hands on her apron. She leaned against the counter, and told herself to stay in the kitchen. To stay downstairs. Ten seconds later, she was climbing the stairs to her bedroom. Alejandro and Diego had argued last time they'd been in the tavern together. She closed her door, sat down on her bed and lifted the box into her lap which had started the argument.

Diego had been busy the last few days before his trip. He'd still taken time to come visit her, but he was very secretive about what he'd been doing. She would just make him something he loved to eat and wait patiently for the time he'd tell her what he'd discovered. Over the years, she'd gotten used to his moods. She had confidence, though, that he would come around eventually. He'd be tired and exhausted, grouchy even, but then whatever mystery he'd been working on would be solved and Diego would have some new brilliant story to share or discovery to tell her about. She didn't think he was silly. She thought he was very smart, and she wished his father was nicer to him.

Like with this box. Alejandro had been angry because Diego had spent so much time in his workroom building something, and Alejandro had not liked the result. This box was the result. It was a simple box, painted black, with a single switch. She turned the switch on now, and no longer was surprised at the smile which came to her face when a little mechanical arm came out of the box and turned the switch off. She bit her lip, smiling happily as she pushed the switch again. The little arm peeked out of its box and turned it off again and she giggled. Every time, she tried to look inside the box when the arm came out. She didn't really want to know how it was done, that was part of the mystery. Diego had painted "Do Not Push" on the box beneath the switch. She pressed it again, listened to the little gears inside turn as the little arm came back out to turn the switch off again.

Victoria had walked over to their table when Alejandro's unhappy voice had echoed through the tavern that day Diego had left on his trip. Alejandro had spent the next five minutes explaining how pointless Diego's 'work' was, and that Diego needed to get his head out of the clouds. Victoria had seen the pain in Diego's eyes at his father's harsh words, and had taken the seat next to Diego and covered his hand with hers. Diego had smiled at her, then shown her this box.

Yes, she'd thought it was silly at first. But Victoria had known Diego was working with electricity. She'd been excited, asked Diego if he'd built an electric motor. Diego had gotten this mysterious look on his face, and hadn't answered. He knew her curiosity would eat at her until he told her how he did it. That's why he'd given her the box, so she could figure it out. But the last two weeks without him, she decided she didn't want to figure it out. She wanted Diego to tell her. He made everything seem like an adventure. If she figured it out, she would feel like she was robbing him of some of the joy he took from telling her.

She must have pressed the switch a hundred times since he'd left. Uses for the box had started creeping into her mind. Well, one use. Alejandro had thought the box was childish. Victoria now thought it would be a great child's toy. She'd started to wonder what Diego's children would be like. Diego looked at the world with this never-ending childlike curiosity. He saw the good in everything, and the potential in everyone. He'd be a wonderful father.

She'd also felt a little guilty since yesterday. She hadn't missed Zorro at all. Diego had been gone for almost two weeks. She hadn't seen Zorro in three. It was Diego she missed. And if she missed such an academic, peaceful man, what did that say about her feelings toward Zorro?

Zzz

Victoria poured herself a glass of wine and sat down at the kitchen table later that night. Her accounting book was open, the cash was counted and deposited into the bank. She'd made a lot of money today. She still wanted to cry. She'd spent all day thinking about Diego, about this mystery woman he loved and what his children would be like. Diego was her friend, but she had no delusions to think he'd ever return her affections. Because she'd discovered something this afternoon. She loved him. After four years, she could admit she was in love with her best friend.

He had some foibles. She liked that word. Diego was the reader, but Zorro had given her that one. She'd looked it up last time she was at Diego's house. Diego had a few minor weaknesses. Foibles. That made him more adorable. Zorro was good for the people, but he didn't trust her. He didn't talk to her or share anything with her, and he never showed weakness. That wasn't what she wanted in a husband. She knew she wouldn't get what she wanted from Diego, but she still loved him. She would make him happy. She'd get him to open up about the woman he loved. She'd find her and talk to this mystery woman, get her to see how wonderful Diego was. Then she'd cry at Diego's wedding.

But Diego would be happy.

And he could give his son this simple box.

She closed her books and pulled the box closer, and once again pushed the switch. She didn't smile this time, but for once she was sure of her feelings. She no longer worried about Zorro's identity. He could take care of himself. She'd look out for Diego.

Zzz

Zorro rested his head on his hand as he looked into the kitchen at Victoria. Diego wasn't expected until tomorrow. He had tonight to visit with Victoria. He'd ridden all night, but he'd wanted to come home early. He'd missed her. She'd been nicer to Diego recently, but he wanted to see the fire in her eyes. She only looked at Zorro that way.

He watched in confusion as she pushed the switch on his box again. She'd looked so confused when she'd first pressed the switch that he'd laughed. She'd pressed it again and gave him a shrewd look, as if she knew there was more to the simple box than he was letting on. She'd defended him when his father had mocked his toy. His father didn't realize the implications of the simple automated movement. Everything started small. Now imagine if you pushed a switch and a huge gate was released. Push a switch and a match could strike and light a fire across the room. Push a switch and all the horses in the barn could be released at once. Physics was the future.

He didn't know why the box which had amused her so much two weeks ago now made her sad, though. He jumped down from his perch and went to the door, which was standing open. He was a little surprised she didn't see him. He never thought she'd get so hypnotized by a simple box. He didn't know which was worse, when she just stared at it, or when she pushed the switch again. It definitely concerned him that she wasn't paying attention. He sat down across from her at the table before she looked up.

She smiled at him, but it was nowhere near what he'd ridden all night and day to see. Had something happened while he was away? "Querida, is everything okay?" Victoria lost her smile and Zorro's heart leapt into his chest. "What happened?"

Victoria fidgeted for a moment, then pushed the box toward him. When he just looked at it dumbly, she told him to push the switch. As if he hadn't been watching her for the last ten minutes, he pushed the switch. "That's pretty useless. What's it supposed to do?"

Victoria frowned at him and pulled the box back into her protective embrace. "It's not useless."

Zorro tried to keep his smile a mocking grin. He loved her so much. "Alright, so what does it do?"

Victoria looked down at her box and back up at him. "Zorro, I'm sorry. I don't think you should visit me anymore."

"What?" His voice cracked and the word barely escaped his throat, so he went on. "Why? What's going on? Why is a stupid box making you sad? And why can't I come see you anymore?"

"I think…it doesn't matter. When you come see me, you're in danger. You put me in danger."

Zorro panicked, going quickly to the door to close and lock it and checking to make sure the tavern was empty. He climbed up on her counter and closed the window's shutter for extra protection before taking a seat again. "Querida, what's going on?"

Victoria shook her head. "You can't call me that anymore. Maybe if you had come to me without the mask, we might have something. Now, it's too late. I'm sure you're a good man. You'll find someone else."

Zorro rubbed the back of his neck, set his hat on the table. "I've been gone tw—three weeks and you're saying this? I thought we shared certain feelings? Isn't that what you said?"

"We did. I did. But nothing ever changed. You never trusted me enough to share your secret."

Zorro reached across the table to grab her hands but she leapt back. His mouth fell open as he watched her lean away from him, his hands holding air. He stood and reached one hand out to her, pleading. "I'll tell you. Come with me. I'll show you everything. Right now."

All the air seemed to be crushed out of his body as he watched her shake her head. There was sadness in her face, but no doubt. No regret in her decision. Zorro fell numbly back into the chair. "What happened? Is there…is there someone else?"

Victoria shook her head again, but something in her face made his fist clench on the table. "Who is it?"

Victoria's eyes narrowed at him. "There is no one else. Stay out of it."

"There is. I can tell when you're hiding something."

Victoria watched him for a moment and wondered what she was doing. This man obviously loved her as Diego never would. But she couldn't lie to herself, couldn't lie to him.

"It doesn't matter. Circumstances… He'll never love me. But I can't lie to you, either. If you and I were ever going to have a chance, that chance is long gone."

"Who is it?"

Victoria clutched the box to her chest, as if she could protect the man who made it from Zorro's fury. "You won't touch him. If you do anything, I'll never forgive you."

"You're breaking it off with me to be with a man who can't defend himself?" Zorro asked, his voice getting louder in disbelief.

"No one can defend themselves against you, you know that! And I hope that you're still an honorable man."

Zorro wanted to destroy something. "You at least owe me an explanation."

"Like you owe me your name?" Victoria shook her head. That was the past. Victoria stood and went to the pantry, reaching high to find another smaller box. She brought it back to the table and set it down in front of Zorro before she sat across from him again. "It's alright. We just weren't meant to be together."

Zorro's hands refused to obey and he struggled to open the box. Rather than touch the contents, he dumped the ring he'd given her onto the table where it turned over a few times before coming to rest.

Zorro put his head in his hands on the table as his heart squeezed in pain. Two weeks. What had happened in two weeks? He glanced up at her and was furious she wasn't even looking at him while his world crumbled to pieces. "Will you stop hugging that stupid box? Stop playing with it and talk to me!"

She looked down at the box and set it back in the center of the table with a grin. "He made this box. He's very smart."

"And I'm not?" Zorro looked down at the box. "Wait a second. De la Vega? You're in love with De La Vega?!"

Victoria looked from the box back to Zorro. "How did you know that?"

"Because I heard about the idiot box."

The scorn she heard in Zorro's voice made her ache more for Diego. "It's not an idiot box." Victoria worried she might have to warn Diego. Zorro had started laughing, and she wondered if he'd gone crazy. Diego would have to be careful.

"Wait. You said you love this man, but he'll never love you. Why would you say that? The man's a fool, but he's not dumb enough to refuse you if you agreed to marry him."

Victoria ran a hand over the smooth wood. "He's nobility. He can't marry someone like me."

"Now you're in love with an idiot and a snob?" Victoria glared across the table. "One who can't defend himself and gets lost on his way home?"

"He's not a snob." Victoria looked around the kitchen, determined to find something to knock that smug grin off his face.

Zorro reached across the table to try to take the box from her, but she held it tighter and didn't give it up. She stared down at the table and sniffed to keep the tears at bay. Her view of the box blurred, though, as tears still came to her eyes.

"Dry your tears." Victoria didn't look up as Zorro's voice turned gentle, didn't move as she saw the black silk in Zorro's hand. He'd removed his mask. After she'd let him go. After her heart was broken when she'd accepted he'd never trust her enough with his secret. After she finally realized she was in love with her best friend.

It was the cruelest joke in the world. She pushed his hand away and didn't look up.

"Keep the ring." She saw a bare hand reach toward her and place the ring gently on the useless box. He'd taken off his mask and his gloves. It didn't sound like he was heartbroken anymore. It didn't look like he was leaving any time soon.

"I'm really hoping this means you won't be mad at me."

Victoria finally got the courage to look across the table. The shock of seeing Diego sitting across from her went clear through her body.

When feeling came back to her arms, she pushed the box across the table so hard it hit his chest before he could catch it. Her chair scraped against the floor as she stood, and Diego stood, too, holding his hands up defensively at her angry face.

"Now, Victoria… you just said you loved me. You'll feel bad if you kill me."

"Kill you? I don't have to kill you." She looked around her kitchen. "Plenty of things in this kitchen will cause enough pain without having to kill you!"

Diego was so happy he couldn't prevent the laugh which escaped, even though it prompted Victoria to reach for something dangerous looking on the counter. "Come on, Querida. Shouldn't you be happy?"

"Happy?!" Her arm flexed and her fist wrapped tightly around a long wooden spoon.

Well, that didn't sound happy at all. "Yes. You get what you want. Diego loves you. He's already asked you to marry him in fact." He circled the table to keep away from her menacing advance, and swiped the ring as he passed by. "See? I proposed. You said yes. I'm not a snob. I'm a little hurt you thought I'd care about such a thing!"

Victoria watched Diego pout for a split second. "You're hurt?!"

Diego stopped stretching his hands out to her and brought the ring back protectively to his chest as he took another step back. "Querida, put the spoon down."

Victoria continued to advance on him and Diego stayed out of harm's way as they circled the table. "Poor Diego can't defend himself, but I sure can. I'm going to tan your hide. I was worried! I was afraid Zorro was going to hurt Diego."

Diego shrugged, still backing away from her. "Now you don't have to be worried. I'm perfectly safe."

"Safe!"

Diego tucked the ring in his pocket for safe keeping as he tried to figure out his plan of attack. "Querida, if you keep repeating everything I say we're not going to get anywhere!"

"We're not going to get anywhere! You lied to me!" Victoria swatted at him with the spoon and Diego looked around to see if he could find another.

Diego kept circling until he reached a long-handled spatula hung on the wall by the fire, and he held out his new weapon in a salute. Victoria was so shocked she stopped.

"Better be careful. Now I'm armed, too."

Victoria's eyes dropped to the sword and whip on his belt, then focused on the long spatula. "You wouldn't."

Diego wouldn't. Much. He tapped her spoon with his spatula. "Are you reneging on your promise?"

Victoria pushed back at his spatula and took a step back. "What promise? I never promised you anything!"

Diego smiled. When he caught her… Maybe he should use his real sword. Some well-placed Z's would… Diego shook his head. He pushed her spoon all the way down before pointing with his spatula. "You did so. You accepted my ring. You said you loved the man behind the mask." Victoria smacked his spatula with her spoon, hard. "I'm nobility. You said so. You can't refuse me!"

Victoria attacked his spatula again and Diego took a few steps back. "Such violence!" Diego gasped. "What would Padre Benitez say?" Diego wrapped his spatula around her spoon and disarmed her, holding up her spoon in victory. Diego was so happy he even did a victory dance.

Diego had to scramble when she came after him with something else. He ducked the wine she threw at him, wrapped his arms around her from behind and spun her around in his dance. He bent to place a kiss on her neck before releasing her and quickly jumping out of the way again.

"God, you smell delicious."

Victoria blushed furiously and fidgeted with her hair. "You're crazy!"

"Crazy about you. Let's get married tonight!" Diego smiled brilliantly then put a hand on his cheek with a dramatic gasp. "Think of the gossip!" Diego ducked as she threw a piece of bread at him. "I can see the headline now: Local nobility marries tavern owner."

Diego jumped and winced as he didn't quite get out of the way of the chair she threw across the floor. "Hey! You're the one who said it. I can't believe you weren't going to tell me just because of who my grandfather was," Diego whined.

Victoria gave away a tiny grin, but he couldn't tell if she was happy he was limping or if he was winning her over. "You don't want to injure the legendary Zorro, now, do you?"

Victoria stopped as a look of fear spread over her face. "Querida, don't look at me like that." His spatula dropped to his side and he approached her, still cautious. She took a step back when he got close, but he grabbed her apron. The loose garment did nothing to hold her to him, however, and came untied since she'd already loosened it at the end of a long day.

Diego stared at the apron in his hand and was happy a beautiful blush had replaced the fear for now. "Anything else you want to take off?" Diego tossed the apron behind him. "You know, just to get comfortable." His grin was absolutely devilish.

Victoria picked up the idiot box. Diego tossed the utensils aside and held his hands up in surrender. "Please not my box. Come on, I thought you liked it?" Victoria hefted it higher. "If you break it what will our children play with?"

Victoria nearly dropped the box, then held it in her hands carefully. "Children?"

Diego took a few cautious steps toward her. "Don't you want a baby? Three? Eight? Ahhh…if you only knew how often I'd imagined you pregnant with our child." Victoria's eyes widened and she took a step back, but he was closing in on her now. "I'd rub your back and your feet to make sure you were comfortable. I'll be your slave, get you anything you want. You'll be the most pampered woman in the world."

Victoria's skin started tingling and she could feel the warmth spread as she blushed, the heat from his eyes scalding her. "Are your feet tired now? I could give you a massage. Take away all your aches and pains." Diego's eyes trailed slowly down her body, and Victoria could almost feel his look like a caress.

"Diego…"

"I live to hear you say my name." Diego finally reached her, brought a hand up to caress her burning cheek. "I rode all night and all day just so I could arrive early. Spend a few hours with you."

"But—"

Diego waited her out, wrapped a tendril of hair around his finger and pushed it behind her ear. "But what?"

"Zorro?" Her voice was barely a whisper, her expression one of absolute confusion.

"Both men you loved. One man." Diego brushed her hair back off her shoulders so he could see her skin, watch the pulse beating in her neck. "One man who loves you more than life. I'd do anything to make you happy. Querida, we will be so happy together. We were meant for each other. I love you. More than it should be possible to love another person."

Victoria was speechless as he traced a thumb across her lip, his hand trailing down her neck and across her shoulder till he held her in his arms. "I missed you," Victoria admitted.

"I watched you at the window. Dios, you scared me. I didn't know why my box made you so sad. Then you said you loved another… I can't ever leave you again. I bought and gave away four horses on the way home. I refused to stop. I had to see you again."

Tears came to Victoria's eyes and he wiped them away. "Don't, Querida. Something inside you knew. You did the impossible. You fell in love with Diego. You unmasked the legend. Now, we can do anything."

Victoria had never seen that look from Diego, and she shivered. Diego de la Vega. Four horses. Bought and given away. The infamous outlaw with a 6000 peso price on his head. She gently pushed at his chest and he let her go. What a day this was turning out to be.

"Victoria?"

"Just give me a minute." She leaned against a cabinet and looked at him, finally seeing Zorro without the mask.

"I suppose we have a lot to talk about?" Diego sighed.

Victoria nodded, then looked back at the table where it had all started. "You must be hungry if you didn't stop."

"Our second romantic meal together?"

Victoria smiled. "Following our second argument." Victoria picked up her apron and put it on, tying it tightly this time. She put her accounting books away and came back to the table. "But first things first."

Victoria sat at the table, and Diego jumped to follow when he saw she was waiting for him to join her. He folded his hands on the table and tried to appear innocent and patient, ready for the interrogation.

"How does this box work?" Victoria pushed the switch again, and Diego laughed.

Zzz

Author's Note 2: If you smiled, please review.