Oh wowweee.

So here it is. The final chapter. I hope you enjoyed the ride, I know I loved writing it.

Thank you to NuttyGinger for doing her beta magic for this one.

Chapter 22

Six months later

I was doubtful at first. Yet, somehow this friendship thing works because we make it work.

As if in bloom, we've slowly opened up. I didn't think it would be this effortless, even though it's becoming difficult to not slip.

We've slipped once.

It was only a kiss.

Edward was moving into his fresh paint-reeking, removal boxes adorned, apartment. We were talking. I laughed, kicked a box. He teased, tugging at my pony-tail, and then just like that, in a cold, furniture-less living room, our lips met.

It was frantic, heartfelt, soft and breathless … so damned easy.

Two days ago, I spent the night with him. Only because it got too late, I crawled under soft, cotton covers that smelt of Edward. Then Edward lay down beside me and slept on top of the comforter. In the morning, he told me "good morning, sweetheart" and it felt like the beginning of my life all over again.

As we tentatively explore this new relationship of ours without expectations, I find myself becoming eager to tell him trivial things; I want to discuss that movie I watched or tell him about the insane case I was assigned in ER. I want to chatter about everything and nothing. Then all the stuff in between.

Alice has tendency to give Edward evil glares, throwing thinly veiled warnings his way when the opportunity arises. Then out of the blue, I caught both of them bantering at the Snack Shack, laughing and pulling stunts like old friends. Despite what she says, I think Edward's started to charm his way back into her world too.

And regardless of the changes in all of us, even though we are no doubt altered by time, when we do all hang out, there are moments when it feels like the years gone by haven't sped past at all.

It scares me still.

What if we go too far before we're sure?

What if this thing between Edward and I doesn't work out, and we find that after all, our lives aren't compatible?

I don't think I could take all of that pain again.

Yet the one thing I've realised as I've contemplated the past amidst all of this – sacrifice and compromise are important in any relationship. So is risk. This is a risk I'm willing to take.

The effort that goes into nurturing and allowing our relationship to mend and grow can get horrendous. My rotations might just kill me, and there are times when the last thing I want to do is pick up that call from Edward … but I do.

Because when work gets overwhelming, sometimes each day marathons into the other, and all I think about is how much coffee I need to consume to take my next steps, I have to remember why I'm doing all of this.

I take that phone call because it's important, because it's perspective. Because I've been there and I won't ever go back there again no matter which side I'm sitting on.

They say that you fall in love with someone once, but that's not true.

Every time I see Edward after our weeks apart and he gives me that dimpled smile that both burns and breaks me, my heart is ready to fall all over again.

I just need to tell it yes.

I'm not young enough to believe that it'll be hearts and roses from now on. I may never love with such naivety or intensity as the first time, yet somehow, the good stuff that remains is too good to let go. It candy flosses my insides and butters up my heart. It's the toffee apple to my sweet tooth. And for that type of good, I'm willing to give us a go.

Perhaps we needed to pay our dues and to experience what we did – perhaps the wrong choices brought us to the right place. Maybe this isn't a second chance. Maybe really, it's the first.

I walk out of hospital and blink in surprise as I see a figure, straighten against a pole in the car park.

"Hey." It's not even 7am. Edward's not a morning person. "You knew I was on shift here?"

He shrugs walking toward me like it's no big deal, a roguish smile on his lips.

We meet in the middle of the lot.

"I know your schedule."

I cock an eyebrow. "You have too much time on your hands."

"I need to be doing something besides memorizing lines all day."

"Yeah? Like walking me home at 7am?"

"I just really wanted breakfast."

I giggle and hook my arm with his as we walk out of the hospital parking lot and through the winding street.

"I met an older lady today in the Oncology ward. She reminded me so much of Nan."

"Really."

"Yep. She touched my hand and made me feel right at home and then heartily bitched about all the nurses."

Edward laughs, his arm moves so I'm pulled toward him, and I let him.

"Sounds just like her. Are you going visit her with me this evening?"

"Uh- huh," I answer without hesitation. "Don't we do that most Sundays?"

His eyes reach mine, in unspoken understanding.

"We do."

It's like acceptance, a vow. That wherever we end up, when we finally choose our paths with or without the other, we'll still have this for many years to come.

We hesitate at the end of the road and contemplate whether to go the left to the Snack Shack or to the right. We decide to try the new waffle place, when suddenly we walk head on into a crowd of school kids.

There's screaming of Edward's name, jumping and excited chatter and I loosen my grip around his arm.

"Bella." Edward looks at me tentatively. "I didn't know."

I smile. "It's okay. Go."

I let go of his arm and watch his expression turn from wavering concern, to surprise, to a beam of joy as I clasp his hand with mine. I move forward with him as he signs spiral-bound note-books and makes faces at the camera's with shrieking girls. Even when his hand slips from mine, I wait for him … just like he's waiting for me.

I take some photos of Edward and his fans. They take some of us even though I politely decline, knowing all the time, it's more than likely that that my face will be all over the news again. It doesn't make me sing with joy, but it doesn't make panic climb down up spine either. I guess I can be just okay with that

After all, there is some truth to the advice once given to me - if I want Edward then I will have to embrace this too. I'll have to embrace all of him.

As I watch him joke and chat, completely in his element, I can't help but wonder what the future holds.

I want to be more sure.

We both have chaotic schedules that don't really match. We work for long periods, and, despite all the reigning back from Edward, there will definitely be moments when all of the strain is too much. But I am sure of this, I'm not afraid of change anymore.

People change, feelings change.

Change is inevitable and crucial. I'm learning to embrace it, and whatever change comes his way or mine, if we end up together or not, I know I'll stand by him and love him through all of it because only I know how to do that best.

"Edward! One more photo? Please!"

The crowd envelopes him with unfettered enthusiasm, and I know now he's not being taken away from me. That when he's done, he'll turn back and look for me because that's simply what he does.

That when I look into intense, green eyes and he looks back into me with the same feeling, I'm sure that wherever we are … is exactly where we're meant to be.

XXXXX

Edward

The guilt is still there.

We had something so good and I ruined it. In the face of all the lost years, I can't deny that the night Bella left— it double-shocked me. It killed me and saved me, she is both my ruination and my saviour. I stopped taking things for granted, because you can't take chances on those you love.

I'm stronger in more ways than I imagined. I say no, I know about balance and what's important for the future. Hopefully our future. I consider. I breathe.

I have the ability now, both financial and otherwise, to back me up. I have a peace of mind, so that I can do whatever it takes to make a good run of this. I might not be able to go back to the start, but here I am making a new ending.

I start to move to the edge of the crowd. I'll never entirely get used to this, but years of practice have taught me to navigate easier. I've learnt the art of escape.

I look behind me and scan the blur of messy ties and midnight-green skirts, then I see her, our eyes locking.

Bella rushes to me, falling into me. My arm easily falls around her shoulders as we swerve through and walk away from the fray.

She scrunches her nose. "Is it weird that I kind of enjoyed that?"

I chuckle at her surprised expression.

It's been months since our talk at the Shack.

Truth is, I was grasping in the dark. Though now as I hold her close and she let's me in without any barriers, I'm starting to believe that we might have it in us to overcome all of the past.

I know with undying certainty, that I won't let anything or anyone else influence us. I won't take us for granted or break promises … it's meant to be because we want it to be.

And this time, whether there are misunderstandings, lapses in judgement, repercussions of fame, remnants of destruction or demise, I'm going to make sure we're even more perfect than we once were.

XXXX

The cemetery

The turf soils my jeans as I kneel in front of the gravestone, placing a folded letter on top of a cluster of white lilies.

I'm not sure how much time has passed, so I sit until Bella places a hand on my shoulder. It's strong, and gentle, my rock and warmth.

So I say goodbye for today and let her guide me, and some of the heartache away.

XXXX

I miss you.

Wherever you are, I hope you're happy. Don't spend any of your hours worrying about me, because I'm happy too.

I wanted to thank you today.

For everything you've given me. Even in death, I know somehow you looked out for me.

On your funeral, we were both brought together once more, to face each other and our reality again. Bella told me about your card too.

She's coming back to me, I can feel it. Whether she decides to be mine or not, I'll be there, I'll make sure she's the happiest woman to walk this earth - you'd be proud.

Someday when the pages of my life end, I'll know that I have tried everything I can to make it right. Just know that you have allowed me to rewrite one of it's most beautiful chapters.

Love,

Edward.

The End.

Ack, the end! I think I'm getting better at this. Or maybe not.

I wrote my previous fic in so many years ago. Then did a big disappearing act and came back again for this one, so I still consider myself relatively new to the fandom. This time it's been different and I want to thank so many of you.

Katjs11 because of her amazing beta prowess.

NuttyGinger for her beta help today and for all the fun I'm sure we're about to have!

SunflowerFran3759 and Midnight Cougar for their beta skills and pre-reading for previous chapters. And doing an amazing job at such short notice. You ladies rock!

Nicffwhisperer for introducing me to new fandom friends and pimping this fic at The Lemonade Stand.

Deebelle OneFic and by fallingsnow87 for creating banners for this (see my profile for links).

All of you who have taken the time out to review, read this and tweet about this fic. Thank you.

I have a new one in the works, so I won't be gone as long as last time. Meanwhile, feel free to drop me a line if you like!

Twitter: Blueissoul

Facebook link on my profile page.

Until next time!

Blue