A/n: Yes, I am aware it has been years since I updated this story. I am not dead. And it is not abandoned. I'm just a human trashcan sometimes. I have been verrrrry busy. Like hey I got into a PHD program kind of busy, so that's cool. But I really want to start spending more of my limited free time on fanfiction and my original stuff. So enjoyyyyy. Again, I'm sorry for the wait.

Klaus' POV

This was impossible. She was impossible. How was I supposed to believe in her? Did she not know I hadn't truly believed in anything for a millennia?

I started shaking my head and couldn't stop, refusal was my only defense against her. She found a way in without my noticing and I couldn't stop it; she was inside me, my thoughts and my heart or whatever I had left in place of that.

"Why would you want that, Caroline?"

She blinked, startled by my sudden quiet tone, "Why do I want you to have faith in me? Why wouldn't I? I already…I already kind of blurted out that I…care for you," she swallowed, almost uncomfortable with admitting again that she cared for me, but then why would anyone willingly admit such a thing?

"Look, I know that character flaws like insecurities and daddy issues can't be changed in like… a week, but all I'm asking for is for you to maybe acknowledge that I'm not just someone you enjoy shagging against a wall," I had to smirk in despite of my mood upon noticing that she was starting to mimic my speech, "And I know that you've had multiple lifetimes for your deranged ideas to be cemented in your mind, but believe me, someone is capable of loving you and she's standing right here and she kind of feels like an idiot with how you're staring at her like a psycho…"

My brows furrowed, conflicting emotions of outrage and some strange sense of amused endearment for her preventing me from settling on a response, which in turn ended up with me indeed staring at her like a madman. This woman, the only person that can make me look remotely foolish.

"Daddy issues?"

She deadpanned, possibly out of surprise that my anger had deflated slightly in place of shock at her boldness. I doubt I'll ever be sure of the motivations behind her actions.

"Seriously? That's what you choose to focus on? I'm being serious, Klaus."

"I know," I gestured to her face, "You've got the little crinkle in your nose you get when you're upset." Hold on, when did I start mentally cataloguing her mannerisms in reference to her emotions, or at all?

This won't work. I've proven to myself I am not capable of this. The sooner she learns it, the better.

I shook my head as her eyebrows shot up at my out of character comment, "I meant that I know you're serious, but I don't know how you wish this conversation to end."

"I just told you what I wanted you to say! I literally just laid out how I wanted the conversation to go, do I have to spell out every word?"

"I know exactly what you want me to say, Caroline!" I pushed myself into her personal space, a tactic I used that usually ended up paralyzing the other person in intimidation, yet she stayed exactly where she was. Perhaps she's used to me being in her personal space, or maybe my first impression of her was right and she is simply brave beyond measure. And misguided.

"That I love you, that you mean something to me, that we will be happy by each other's sides for the rest of our immortal existence, but do you know what the real issue is, Caroline? I don't WANT to say it; that isn't who I am! The real issue is not my insecurities or my bloody father, it's that I'm a miserable, homicidal asshole and you refuse to accept that! I'm not the man you are trying to convince yourself you feel something for! You don't care about me, Caroline. You're a fixer and you're trying to do the best with the cards you were given and fix me. Wake up, sweetheart, it isn't fucking possible!"

The words tasted like lies even as I said them, and some part of me recognized that I wasn't being honest with her. Or myself.

Something in her eyes broke, like a light being snuffed out on top of a candle. I had done what I had scolded my ignorant hybrid for, I'd diminished her brightness. It was necessary, or I told myself that. She saw me as a broken puzzle to solve. But someone had to teach her that broken pieces will never fit together.

Her eyes were red and glossy as she marched up to me, resembling an angry goddess more than a teenaged vampire,"…Fine." Her cornflower blue eyes turned to steel as she lifted her chin with pride, as if refusing to let me harm her. "Do this. Push me away. Lie to yourself like the coward you are. But you know that you'll never convince yourself of your own bullshit, and all of this effort you used to deny your feelings and hurt me so I'll give up on you, it will have been useless. You care about me. I can see it in your eyes. But you're too damn afraid of ANY feelings to try at all! Do you know where that'll leave you? Not all powerful and in control, but sitting alone wondering why NOTHING seems worth the effort anymore!"

And with that, she was gone. The whirlwind of a woman sped out of the building in a flash, leaving me completely alone. For reasons I wouldn't dare to sort through, my stomach dropped and my dead heart seemed to restrict in on itself. I breathed in sharply at the feeling, the smell of her perfume still lingering in the air and burning my throat. I didn't understand this feeling. It was ridiculous-mortal and weak. I wasn't sure he had ever experienced it. It was as if I had suddenly contracted one of those frail human illnesses; my entire body ached from the inside. I'm still not sure how that was even possible. I sniffed the air, shocked when I smelled blood. I looked down at my hands and realized that I had clenched my fists so hard that my nails had cut into my palms, a drop of blood falling from my hand.

I ignored the sting and looked up at the door that Caroline had just fled through. I tried to take a step towards it, deciding it would be best to go make myself a drink. To my great displeasure, my traitor legs shook when I attempted to walk. In fact, my entire body may have been shaking…I wasn't sure, I had nothing to compare it to in my immortal memory, but I think I… was scared. I vaguely remembered a feeling sort of like this when I was a human child, Mikael coming at me with a raised fist.

Suddenly, I was looking at myself from above, standing in the foyer of that expensive hotel room. I looked paler than usual, weak. I detested it.

I had the strange sensation of awareness entering my limbs once again. I didn't realize I had lost sensation in my body. I hastily stumbled to the couch in the corner, falling onto it. I pushed my fingers into the plush material I was sitting on, grounding myself to the world so that strange floaty feeling wouldn't return. For once in my life, I didn't know what to do with myself. So, as I often did when the rare occasion arouse that I didn't have the answer, I called my nuisance of an elder brother.

Elijah answered on the second ring, "Brother," he greeted, sounding slightly surprised, "What could have possessed you to call me in the middle of the night?"

"Oh," I answered dazedly, remembering that Elijah was currently in a different timezone, "Right. I forgot the time difference."

Elijah sounded concerned when he answered. He waved away a voice that was pestering him to come back to bed. With as hazy as my mind was, I couldn't be sure if that was a Petrova or not that I heard…, "Niklaus….What has happened? Are you alright? You sound very strange."

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting Elijah couldn't see me over the phone, "…I…feel strange."

"Okay…and what prompted this strangeness?" Elijah replied calmly.

"Caroline…she left," I frowned, trying to comprehend the words as I said them. I had told Elijah about my kidnapping and consequent fling with the young vampire a while ago. Elijah had an annoying preference that I keep him updated of my life.

Elijah sighed, "Oh, brother, what did you do?"
"Me?" I seethed, "She-she was the one w-who broke into-" I sucked in a breath roughly,trying to calm myself. I could feelmy lungs tighten as I started actively thinking about the situation.

"Nikalaus," Elijah started soothingly, "Are you sitting?"

It sounded like Elijah had just figured something out. If he knew what was happening, why wasn't he just telling me?

"Y-yes, but how is that," I marveled for a second as I felt my hands tingling, "How is that relevant?"

"Good. Now put your head between your legs and count your breaths."

I frowned, confused at my brother's seemingly random instructions. The situation seemed oddly familiar, but after a thousand years, I sometimes couldn't discern if that feeling meant I had forgotten an old memory or if I was recalling a dream.

"Why-"

"Just do it!" Elijah ordered.

I blinked; I wasn't used to orders being hurled at me. This side of the dynamic was foreign to me. Usually, I wouldn't have let Elijah get away with the order, but the strange tightness in my chest was unsettling so I decided to see if following my brothers advice might make the suffocating feeling leave me alone.

I bent over and held my head in my hands, between my knees. I breathed in and out roughly, trying to slow my breaths as I counted them. Slowly, but definitively, I started to regain myself. I could ascertain one thought from the other in my mind now.

After a minute or so, Elijah asked, "Are you feeling more collected?"

I swallowed and nodded, "Yes, I believe so."

"Good."

"…Elijah," I started hesitantly, not eager to admit my bewilderement to anyone, "How did you know that would help? Do you know what that was that….just happened to me?"

Elijah chuckled sympathetically, "Yes, brother, I do. I wasn't sure if you recalled. You were very young when it used to happen. You just had a panic attack. You used to have them occasionally when we were children…after father hurt you," his tone was regretful, probably wishing he had tried harder to protect me from father.

I paused for a long moment, contemplating the words and interpreting them as nonsense.

I scoffed, "I'm a thousand year old immortal, Elijah. I do not have panic attacks."

Elijah responded by rolling his eyes, "I was old enough to remember clearly. Your treatment during childhood gave you extreme anxiety. I remember what you sounded like when you tried to speak through the attacks. It was just the very same."

I could feel myself scowl, putting a hand on my chest to feel my own body. Of course I didn't have a human pulse, but I could feel the human blood I had consumed earlier in the day pumping through my veins much faster than usual. I looked in the mirror above the couch to examine my own face…I didn't recognize it for a second. I looked stricken. That's not me. I touched a hand to the mirror for a second to confirm it was real then shook my head.

"I felt sick…But that isn't possible. How could I still have a human ailment that I had so long ago?"

"Because it isn't started by a virus or anything physical, Niklaus. It's an emotion driven thing. I surmise you never experienced this as a vampire before because you have never been so invaded by real emotions before."

"I am not-" I started to protest indignantly, but Elijah cut me off once again.

"Lie to yourself, not to me. It's irritating. If you didn't care for Caroline in some way, you wouldn't have reacted this way. Your body likely reacted for you before your mind could understand what you were feeling."

I often hated how naturally perceptive my brother was, "I don not live that way, though. I do not entertain relationships like that. There is my family and there are my enemies, everyone else is a means to an end."

"Hmm…" I could practically see Elijah's face as he pondered the situation, "Perhaps…without your permission, your subconscious has started to see her as family."

I stopped for a moment to think about his words. I had been blindingly angry when Caroline broke into my meeting, my entire being rebelling against the idea of her being in such danger. Ironically, I think I had done the things I had so feared the wolves were going to do-erasing Caroline from my life.

I tried to ponder that thought a little longer, to understand why or how she was affecting me so much. But the longer I spent thinking about her absence from my life, the stronger the feelings of unease got. It started to feel like I was going to throw up my internal organs, so I quickly stopped the contemplation.

This is not alright.

Caroline's POV

He will regret this. That was the only thought that kept running through my mind. I will make him regret this. Of course I understand the reasons behind his cruelty, his insanity. But that doesn't change how it feels to be subjected to it.

I may have been a patient, forgiving person when I was little girly, human Caroline. But that isn't me anymore. I haven't been that girl in a long time. Sure, I remember her favorite movies and I know who she loves and doesn't give two shits about. But I don't connect with her now.

I knew that as a vampire, I had grown stronger, braver, more resilient. But this was different; the more time I had spent around Klaus, the more my perspective on things started to change. My friends back home…our entire world was so small and limited. He was right about one thing; that wasn't enough for me. But he was wrong about another; I'm not just light. Light is harmless. Light is innocent and weightless. But I aimed to have an impact. I think I'll be fire instead.

Something about how he rejected my compassion…it made me feel ridiculous. Like I was an idiot for even trying to break through to him. Like I was some delusional little girl. And that feeling-well the embarrassment quickly changed to rage and something in me had broken. The light went out and came back stronger, a flame ready to burn. Cheesy, I know, but some of my human has to come out sometimes. Even switching the flip doesn't change my entire personality, just emphasizes a different side of it. As I strolled down the freezing streets, immune to the Russian cold stinging my cheeks, I laughed. Klaus thought he was so in control, so all-knowing. I bet he doesn't know the monster he just created.

I arrived at the river in the middle of town, Neva something, and stripped off my bulky winter clothes. They were a front-I didn't need them. Just like the sunshine-y version of myself that so hoped Klaus would understand his feelings. She was a front-I don't need her.

I grinned to myself as I dove naked into the ice cold water.

A/n: I'm sorry this is so short and unedited, but it's kind of a transition chapter. The next one with badass Care will be longer. Please let me know if any of this got too cheesy or formal. I've been writing adlock fanfiction at the same time so I am used to their POVS, which are quite different from Caroline's. Let me know if you're excited for dark Caroline and hit me up with suggestions in the comments! I like to include you guys' ideas.