Can't Have You

"Hellll-o?" There's a shadow in front of me, shadowing the light. It cackles, backing away from me, and I catch a glimpse of a tell-tell domino mask and red hair.

"Wakey wakey, Robin!" Speedy sneers, his face contorted into an evil grin.

I clutch my throbbing head with both hands. I'm lying on gray concrete ground, in a place that looks like an abandoned garage. Before I can ask where the hell I am, or even try to get up, a high-pitched scream echoes around me. I instantly recognize it. "Starfire!" I yell.

I leap to my feet and try to knock over Speedy, but he blocks my every move with surprising speed and agility. Growling, I reach for my bo staff, but my belt is missing, with my costume half torn to shreds.

I glare at Speedy, who hasn't even attempted to fight back yet. "Where are you keeping her? Tell me."

He grins manically. "You don't remember? You let her go on a date. You let her get captured. And now you can't save her," he sings the last line in falsetto.

Swooping his arms above him, Speedy waves at the background like a magician. Suddenly, Starfire's in front of me. She's tied to a chair, her mouth taped shut. Her green eyes are wide, terrified. I spot faint bruises over her skin, and her hair is tainted with dried blood.

"Look who decided to join the party!"

Enraged, I leap at Speedy, but the ground caves in from under me and I topple near the edge of a sudden hole in the ground. Quickly, I flip over Speedy, knocking him with my foot, and land in front of Star.

"I'm gonna get you out, okay? Hold still," I pull at the ropes, and notice that her hands are covered in tape too, so she can't shoot starbolts. He's smart, I think in the back of my head.

She screams again, her voice muffled, and I follow her gaze. Behind me, Speedy has an arrow set and aimed. He releases the arrow, and time seems to slow down. I dodge, and watch as the arrow grazes my chest, but it keeps going. With a sickening sound, the arrow hits its target.

"NO!" I grasp at the arrow and pull it out. There's blood, too much blood, pooling out and all over both of us. "No, no, no, no, no, you're gonna be fine, please be fine, please-"

She doesn't reply.

Suddenly, there's blackness all around me, suffocating me until I'm gasping for breath. I try to scream, to move, but I'm stuck. I'm going to die, but that doesn't bother me. Starfire- She's- I can't-

I blink, adjusting my focus. I jolt upright, a piece of paper stuck to my cheek. I'm… in my room. Was I at my desk all night? I shake my head, not quite able to get the image of a dea- injured Starfire out of my head. That dream seemed all too vivid. Something was definitely wrong with me.

Instead of spending all day cooped up in my room, wallowing in self-pity, I go down to the gym to work out a bit. I tell myself it's because I really need to practice, and make sure that I'm still in top shape, but it's mostly because my stomach is in a knot more tangled than the wires in our GameStation and my head is jammed with only Starfire and how she looked so terrified and I just let her-

I shake my head violently, trying to get rid of the dream.

The feel of sinking my fist into our very worn out punching bag clears my head a bit. I hit the bag repeatedly, increasing the force of my punches each time.

Bam! Right in the nose.

It's a little game I made up when I was younger and still training with Batman. I picture someone I hate more than anything, and basically beat the out of them, hypothetically. I even used to add sound effects and everything, but lately it just helps me when I need to release some pent up aggression.

Bam! Into Slade's face.

Bam! Brother Blood's stomach.

Bam! Speedy's-

The instant Speedy's masked face registers in my brain, all my emotions, the memory of the dream I've suppressed for about an hour now, come rushing back. With a growl, I kick the punching bag one last time, exerting so much force that it rips off its chain and falls with a thud.

Panting, I sit down and put my head in my hands. What happed to the innocent little kid I used to be, who was only ever concerned in bringing villains to justice? What's happening to me?

"Puberty," a voice comes from behind me.

"AH!" I swiftly rise to my feet, turning so fast that I trip on my cape and fall down again. Thankfully, it's only Raven (and not the other… female in this tower). "Did I just say that out loud?"

Raven nods, a smile almost perceptible on her face. "I'm not a mind reader, you know."

I get up, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. "I was just…"

"Do you need to talk about it?" Raven asks. I notice that her words seem broken. She probably doesn't want to talk to someone, especially about feelings, but we both know that there's no one else in the tower who I could possibly talk to.

I shake my head anyway. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

I mutter something unintelligible. She was always better at comebacks than I was.

"Hey. Could you help me bring these up to Star's room?" She lifts her hands, and I notice she's laden with shopping bags filled to the brim. Was I so out of it that I didn't even notice that? "We 'journeyed to the mall of shopping'," she adds, quoting Starfire.

I reach over and grab some bags for myself. "Yeah, yeah, sure."

She starts walking, and I hurry to step in line with her. "So… How's Star?"

"Excited out of her mind," she answers. "It's worse than when she found out about Christmas shopping deals."

"Oh." So she was happy. And I should be happy for her, shouldn't I? After all, that's what friends are for.

"She's a little worried, too," Raven adds. "For you."

"How do you-?"

"Empath, remember?" Raven smirks. "I could feel jealousy coming off you like waves back when Star announced the date. And now, you're a little disappointed that she's happy."

I open my mouth and close it a few times. Finally, I grumble, "You're good."

We reach Star's door and I set the bags down along with Raven. "Don't worry. I'll leave you two to... talk," she says before sinking through the ground.

"No! Don't leave me with-"

The door creaks open. "Friend Robin!"

"-her." I swallow. I'm not ready for confrontation! Before she can pull me into her room, I shove the shopping bags into Starfire's hands, and give her a quick wave. "Here are your bags, I gotta go, bye!"

I run off, and I swear I can hear Raven's dark chuckle echo around me.

Things are silent in the common room, even with Cyborg and Beast Boy playing some new videogame, but I figure that they stopped talking the moment I entered the room. I glance at the screen. It looks fairly interesting, so I sit down to watch.

After a few minutes, Cyborg speaks up. "So… Starfire and Speedy, huh?"

When Beast Boy doesn't reply, I realize that they're waiting for me to answer. "What about them?"

"You seemed mad," Beast Boy says bluntly.

I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes glued to the screen. "I just think she should be more careful."

Cyborg nods. "Definitely. You know that they say. They're the first to go, the innocent ones. Like Beast Boy," he adds.

I frown. "What do you mean, 'go'?"

"What do you mean, 'like me'?" Beast Boy exclaims.

Cyborg just blows up some imaginary villains on the screen, staying silent. "You know," he attempts. "Speedy's a teenage guy. And- I don't mean this in a bad way- Starfire doesn't lack in the looks department. She's-"

"Smokin' hot," Beast Boy pipes in, and I give him my best 'I will murder you' glare. He visibly shrinks and turns back to the game.

"-foreign," Cyborg continues. "She doesn't really get any of the customs or rules of dating, so what if Speedy.."

The TV screen flashes as Beast Boy and Cyborg take out virtual zombies with rapid clicks of buttons.

"What if Speedy does what?" I press.

I can see Cyborg choosing his words carefully. "What if he tries to…"

I cross my arms, still waiting, until Beast Boy blurts it out. "Date rape, man."

It's a good thing I'm not holding anything, because I would have hurled it across the room just now. Why did that not occur to me? The worst I'd imagined was a kiss, no more, but this? "Shit," I seethe. "She's in trouble! I have to- to-" I pause. What could I do?

I couldn't stop her from going. I guess I could kill Speedy, but all the paperwork I'd have to do… (Just kidding, jeez! I'd never kill a Titan… willingly.)

I storm out of the room, hearing Beast Boy and Cyborg continue their conversation.

"What's wrong with me looking innocent?"

"I'm just saying. If you ever go to jail, BB, don't drop the soap."

"…Dude, gross!"

I am so, so sorry that I haven't updated in so long! Its just that my mom is home now, so she keeps hovering over me and doesn't exactly know that I write fanfiction... Its hard to find time to type up the chapter and update, but I'll try my best.

Oh, and this is not a Robin/Raven fic. I just really like Raven.