Hi! This one-shot takes place at the island Sebastian takes Ciel to at the end of Season 1. Just so you know. And, this is a crack-fic, conversational style. Sorry, I couldn't help myself XD.

Anyways, please review and tell me what you think! Enjoy!

~Chastity~

"What the hell? Sebastian, are you trying to kiss me?!"

"My lord, whatever is the matter? I am simply following the rules of the contract."

"I don't remember any rules stating you have to pucker up to devour my soul! Quit fooling around and eat me already! This stupid stone bench is very uncomfortable to sit on, you know."

"Now, now, Young Master. Patience is a virtue."

"I wouldn't have thought a devil knew of virtues."

"You wound me, my lord. After all, I had a lot of experience practicing many virtues while serving under you….My lord? Why ever do you look so angry?"

"Shut up, Sebastian! What sort of virtues have you ever practiced whilst in my company?"

"Temperance, patience, diligence, charity, kindness, humility….."

"Humility?"

"Of course. No matter the occasion, I was always simply one hell of a butler, you know."

"That doesn't strike me as very humble, Sebastian."

"No?"

"…."

"…."

"…I can't help but notice you've only said six of the virtues."

"Oh dear, it seems you've distracted me a bit, Young Master."

"Wait! S-Sebastian, don't come so close!"

"Just close your eyes, my lord."

"Hell no! Not when your lips are so close to my face!"

"…."

"S-Sebastian? If you move any closer, I swear I'll slap you."

"Resorting to violence now, are we Young Master? That's not very noble of you."

"Quit teasing me and- Mmph! Mmmph…mmm…ahhh."

"…Ah…There, that wasn't so horrible, was it my lord? Oh? It seems you are blushing. How cute."

"Sh-shut up! Get away from me, you…ah! Nnnn…. What are you, Sebastian? A bloody vampire?!"

"But Young Master is enjoying it, yes?"

"N-no, I'm not! S-stop it…ahh…nnn…. Don't you dare take off my shirt! Wait! Hey! D-don't…go any…lower…nnnnyaaa!"

"You don't sound convincing at all, my lord. In fact, you sound so endearingly like a kitten right now."

"S-stupid…cat-loving…m-moron! D-don't! Bloody hell, k-keep my shorts on, damn it! Nnn…Wait! What are you doing with your tongue? S-sto-Ahhhh!"

"Mmm…Now do you know why I've left out chastity, my lord?"

"Ahhhh…."