Title: A Pleasurable Kind of Torture

Pairing: Hermione G./Charlie W.

Type: Humor/Romance

Notes: AU, Post-Hogwarts, Oneshot

Disclaimer: All copyrights belong to the absolute genius that is J.K. Rowling.

Summary: Oneshot. When Charlie suggested to Hermione to try being a little naughtier, he wasn't exactly expecting her to interpret it quite like that. Rated M just to be safe.

"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

– Mae West

Thunder rumbles outside as Charlie Weasley takes a tub of ice cream to the checkout counter. He pulls a few coins out of his left pocket and despite having been exposed to muggle currency in the past, he still takes his time in counting the right amount. This earns him an odd look from the female behind the register. The ice cream amounts to only £4.45 and he's taking too long.

"You're not from around here, are you?" The female muggle asks as she tilts her head to one side in question. It doesn't escape Charlie that this action is merely an attempt to disguise the fact that she's checking out his biceps. She repositions herself so that there wouldn't be any reason for him not to see her name tag; it reads "Britney".

Thankful for the back-story Britney creates for him, Charlie decides to play along with her assumption.

"I just moved from Romania," He lies with the thickest accent he could muster, hoping it would dissuade her advances. Charlie has lived there long enough in his work as a dragon keeper to be able to copy a passable imitation of a native accent. He gives Britney an apologetic smile when he finally finishes counting the correct amount and hands her the payment, satisfied that he would receive no change in return.

It only takes her a few seconds to spot a mistake. "Bloody muggle currency," Charlie whispers to himself.

"Oops," Britney giggles before handing Charlie back a coin. "You gave me a little too much," She says, and without trying to be subtle about it now, gives him a once over. She proceeds to bat her eyes in a flirtatious manner. "Close enough, though," She winks before turning and pressing a few buttons on the register as she rings up his purchase.

Left standing idle while he waits for her to finish, Charlie takes the time to actually get a good look at Britney. An estimation of twenty four, possibly twenty five years in age; he supposes she's pretty enough with her straight blond hair and blue eyes. It's just that, sadly for her, Charlie simply isn't the least bit interested. He would much rather find himself getting lost into a pair of soulful molten chocolate brown eyes...

He abruptly stops that train of thought once he realizes where exactly they were going.

Whipped. Completely and utterly whipped, is what he was.

Britney presses one final button and the mouth of the register opens with a ding. Just as she deposits his payment inside the register, something vibrates inside one of Charlie's pockets. He excuses himself as he retrieves the mobile phone. The message is from Hermione. Charlie still prefers owls but he can't deny that the little rectangular devices are much more efficient. Besides, their flat is in a muggle area. Owls flying in and out all the time would only draw unnecessary questions.

Inside a cab, on my way home right now. Can't wait to be back. See you soon.

Charlie feels himself smile, excited to return home and see Hermione. She had been gone for five days, having went to the countryside with her parents for a vacation. Hermione had wanted to apparate the three of them there and back but her parents had insisted they take the plane instead. Something about her not forgetting her muggle upbringing.

Charlie tucks the phone back inside his pocket and looks up, just in time to see Britney say something to him, but he really isn't paying attention to what she's saying anymore. He's just excited to get back to their flat. 'Our flat.' He feels himself smiling again.

'Merlin, I'm pathetic', Charlie thinks with a goofy grin. 'But I wouldn't have it any other way.'

Britney hands Charlie his purchased ice cream, now inside a plastic bag that carries the store logo, before asking with a smile that looks much too forced, "A message from your girlfriend?"

Charlie shakes his head no, "She's not my girlfri–" But before he could finish, an impatient woman in line behind Charlie coughs to get their attention. "Sorry, but I'm kind of in a hurry." The woman says.

Still, Britney looks relieved as she hands Charlie his receipt, "Thank you for your patronage. Please come again," She winks at him before addressing the next customer in line.

"Welcome home," Charlie greets, grinning at the dripping wet witch in front of him. A lock of wet brown hair slides down Hermione's face and Charlie suppresses a laugh before commenting, "I see you're rocking the wet look today." He fully expects a scowl to be directed at him and Hermione doesn't disappoint.

"So, I take it that you didn't have an umbrella?" Charlie asks as Hermione makes a beeline towards her dresser, all the while ignoring his attempts to help her with her luggage.

"Oh heaven's, no. I'm not wet because of the rain. I found it in my fancy to jump into a pool with all my clothes still on." Hermione replies sarcastically. Rather than continuing their banter, Charlie settles for grinning at her in response instead. He loves it when she's grumpy. He finds it much too cute for words. He may be head over heels for the girl, but he still couldn't help but tease her every now and then.

Hermione sends Charlie another one of her trademark scowls, which, to her dismay, simply has the effect of making his grin grow even larger. She starts to dig through her dresser for a change of clothes. Emerging with her nighties in one hand and a big sweater that was once his in the other, Hermione practically stomps her way to the bathroom.

"I'm never getting that sweater back, am I?" Charlie asks in amusement, not really minding that Hermione practically claimed it as her own after he had lent it to her when she caught the flu a few weeks ago.

"Nope," Hermione replies before entering the bathroom and Charlie is left staring at a closed door.

"'Mione?" He calls out. No response. He guesses she's still a little moody so he chuckles. Time to bring out his secret weapon, he decides. Charlie knocks on her door a few times before saying, "I bought ice cream."

It doesn't take long for the door to open a tiny bit, a chocolate brown eye peeking out. "What flavor?"

Charlie resists making a triumphant smile. "Your favorite, of course."

He sees a part of her mouth pull up into a satisfied grin before the door closes completely. Moments later, he hears the shower turn on.

Charlie heads back to the kitchen, where he gives his wand a wave to send two bowls, two spoons, and the tub of ice cream sailing into the living room. They land on the coffee table in front of the squishy scarlet sofa, reminiscent of the one found back in Gryffindor tower. He takes a random book lying around as he waits for Hermione to finish her shower. She doesn't take long because before Charlie could even finish a chapter, Hermione enters the room and plops down beside him on the couch. She lets out a series of coughs that doesn't sound too good.

"Are you okay?" Charlie asks, concerned.

"No worries. Probably just a cold. Being drenched by the rain obviously didn't help." Hermione says as she starts to get up. "I'm going to go get an aspirin." She announces before Charlie stops her.

"Let me. Would you rather I get a pepperup potion?" Charlie asks as he rummages through the medicine cabinet but he knows her answer before it even leaves her lips. "Just an aspirin is fine," Hermione calls out to him from the living room. "I don't really fancy having steam coming out of my ears for the next few hours."

He returns with the aspirin as well as a glass of water. She gulps it down before saying, "Thanks, Charlie."

"So, are you ever going to tell me why you were soaking wet? I thought you took a cab."

Hermione groans before beginning her explanation, "The cab broke down a few blocks from here. I decided to walk the rest of the way but then the rain started to pour." She lets her slippers fall off her feet before drawing her legs up near her body. She starts to absentmindedly rub her heel before continuing, "I couldn't apparate or even shrink the luggage I had with me since it's a muggle area."

When she sees Charlie trying hard not to laugh, Hermione shoots him a sour look. "I'm glad all this seems to be amusing to you."

"Well, it could have easily have been avoided, you know." Charlie points out.

"Excuse me?"

"You could have apparated right from the start. But you just had to be a good little girl for your mum and dad. You would do well being a little naughtier," Charlie teases the witch across him.

"Why are you looking at me like– Oh, fine. Here, let me make it up to you," Charlie says when Hermione's unamused glare looked like it wasn't going to dissipate any time soon. He motions for her to extend her feet to him. He's used to treating tired muscles, a skill he picked up to deal with the stress of his job. "Call it a perk of living with a dragon keeper."

"If only said dragon keeper would be less insufferable," Hermione sighs in an exaggerated manner, the slight grin dancing on her lips a sign that meant she doesn't mean to insult. She lays her feet on Charlie's lap before tossing her head back and closing her eyes, intending to focus solely on the relief his hands are going to bring on her feet.

"Well yo–" Charlie begins but before he could even finish his comeback, Hermione interjects, "Less talking, more massaging, Charles."

"Alright, alright. I get the idea." Charlie chuckles as he cracks his knuckles a few times. His hands then proceed to slowly envelop Hermione's foot before making one firm press on her heel.

Charlie literally stopped breathing when the first carnal moan escaped her lips.

What in Merlin's beard–

"Mmm... Feels great, Charlie..." Hermione says with an almost erotic sigh.

Time seemed to drag on forever for the dragon keeper as he's forced to endure the brunette let out one lascivious moan after another. As he continues to press at her tense muscles, Charlie couldn't help but feel very uncomfortable down south – the obvious tent he's sporting inside his boxers being a huge testament to that. 'When I had suggested for her to be naughtier, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.', Charlie thinks as he tried – and unsurprisingly failed – to direct his attention elsewhere.

This goes on for a few more excruciating minutes before Charlie abruptly stops massaging Hermione's feet. He proceeds to subtly maneuver his position on the couch, both to relieve some of the pressure, as well as as to hide his body's way of manifesting its interest in her continued moaning.

Hermione reluctantly pops one eye open when she notices the lack of pressure on her foot. "Why'd you stop? Everything okay?" She asks.

"Just... peachy." Charlie somehow manages to say.

Hermione nods before resuming her earlier position. She shakes her feet a little, while also wiggling her toes, a demand for Charlie to return his attention to giving her a massage. He swiftly grabs her wandering foot when it comes way too close for comfort to his throbbing body part and leads it away. Not finding the heart to refuse her (and his masochistic side seems to be enjoying it, anyway), Charlie resumes applying pressure on her heel and the moaning starts up again.

"There, Charlie. Right there... Perfect..."

'What in Merlin's name did I do to deserve this torture?'

"Ugh... More, more!" Hermione whispers huskily.

Charlie feels light headed now; he's quite sure most of the blood in his body had, by then, rushed down to that specific organ between his legs. In desperation to save his sanity, Charlie quickly scans the room, trying to find something to distract himself with. He abruptly drops Hermione's foot when his eyes catches sight of the ice cream on the coffee table. Hermione groans her displeasure.

"Charlie..." Hermione drags out the last syllable of his name as she whimpers pleadingly, and it is not unlike how a woman would moan her lover's name in bed. Charlie shuts his eyes for a few seconds and bites his lower lip to compose myself.

"The–" He coughs to regain his voice before continuing, "–ice cream. It's going to melt." He says weakly, "Come on, let's eat." 'Lest I end up eating you,' Charlie adds to himself.

Before she could raise any more objections, Charlie practically throws himself towards the frozen dessert. He doesn't believe he will have any semblance of self-control left in himself if she starts moaning his name like she had again. He scoops out enough of the vanilla flavored dessert to fill one of the bowls before handing it to Hermione. She takes it gratefully with a smile, and at least for now, seems to forget about the massage.

"I love you, Charles Weasley."

"You love the fact that I bought ice cream." Charlie says as he starts to fill the other bowl for myself.

"Yes, that too." Hermione concedes and both occupants of the couch find themselves laughing.

Hermione starts to dig her spoon into her share but stops when Charlie asks her a question, "Why vanilla anyway?"

"You mean why is vanilla my favorite flavor?"

Charlie nods.

She looks thoughtful for a moment before answering, "I guess it's because I find the other flavors to be too overpowering." She looks down and stares into the ice cream in her bowl where a few portions are starting to melt. "Vanilla is... simple. Simple but good." She concludes.

'So far, so good.' Charlie feels the blood slowly spreading across his body once more. More eating means less moaning.

Charlie begins to take another spoonful, but it stops short of entering his mouth when he catches sight of Hermione. And with the show she's putting on with the ice cream and the spoon, Charlie doesn't believe he would ever find it in himself to tear his eyes away at the sight even if his life depended on it.

"Mmm..."

'For Merlin's sake. Not again.'

It was as if everything was happening in slow motion; Hermione would dig her spoon into the bowl, emerge with a spoonful of vanilla ice cream, which she would slowly wrap around her lips, before maddeningly drag it in then out of her mouth. To top it all off, she would finish with throaty moans of contentment.

"Bloody hell." Charlie curses softly. Now she's making those sounds and practically shagging the spoon. That area between Charlie's legs starts to act up again as he can't help but compare the spoon in her mouth to his...

'Damn it, think of Great-Aunt Muriel... Great-Aunt Muriel... Great-Aunt Muriel in a bikini...'

So engrossed is Charlie with trying to control his erection that he doesn't notice Hermione extending her feet to his lap, with the hope that he would start massaging them again. And just as luck would have it, her left foot comes into contact with the exact organ he was trying so hard to soften.

Hermione stiffens and Charlie knows she realizes what exactly her foot is in contact with.

"It's..."

"...hard?" Charlie finishes for her. "Yeah..." Charlie adds lamely and he feels his face start to flame red. "Why?" Hermione asks and she looks almost genuinely confused but the slight quirk in her lips catches Charlie's attention. Realization dawns on the dragon keeper.

"You." He says accusingly as his eyes bulge wide open.

"Me?" Hermione replies innocently, though the sniggers she isn't able to conceal by now completely ruined the effect.

"You– You little minx! You knew all along what you were doing to me, didn't you?"

The brunette laughs out loud now as Charlie feels his ears go red – the characteristic Weasley trait that denotes extreme embarrassment. He digs his spoon into the ice cream and eats a few spoonfuls just so he could avoid looking at the witch in front of him.

"Charlie," Hermione beckons as Charlie reluctantly looks up, looking very much like a petulant child who lost a game. She points to the side of her lip. "You have some ice cream right there."

Charlie lowers his head and uses his left sleeve to wipe it off.

"You missed a spot," Hermione says softly, "Here, let me."

Charlie's breath catches in his throat when Hermione uses her index finger to wipe the offending smudge off his face before proceeding to suck on her finger.

"To hell with it," Charlie growls before he launches himself at the brunette, claiming her lips in a heated kiss.

"And here I was–" Charlie says as he starts to kiss his way down. "–trying to hold back–" He moves to her neck, "–like a proper gentleman–" He nibbles at the skin, "–since you might be tired because you're sick and all." He sucks at a sensitive spot as Hermione groans. She's sure a hickey will be there by tomorrow.

"Bloody hell, woman. Couldn't you just ask me to shag you silly like a normal person?"

"Now, where's the fun in that?" Hermione grins cheekily from under her husband as her hands wander inside his boxers, giving his throbbing member a squeeze. "Besides, you needed a little bit of torture as punishment. Serves you right for teasing your wife."

Author's Notes:

After... quite a long span of time, I've finally posted something again. But unlike last time when I only had a lack of time and a lazy streak to blame, my reasoning for my long hiatus this time is, at least in my eyes, fairly serious. I'd been thoroughly disheartened in continuing writing stories when my hard drive crashed late last year, deleting everything I had from halfway finished pieces, even almost completed one-shots, to numerous drafts and projects I would have eventually pursued. I think I just gave up after that. For these past few weeks, however, I seem to have the itch to get back to writing once again and this one-shot is hopefully the start of many.

Moving on to less depressing matters, I hope nobody guessed the twist in the ending right from the start. I tried using the initial scene with Britney ("She's not my girlfri–"; and really, she isn't. She's his wife. *grins*) to sort of lead you readers off track. All throughout the fic, I was attempting to, shall we say, "write around" the real nature of their relationship by not really addressing it directly but giving enough pushes here and there to make you think that they were simply flatmates or something.

Oh, and moral of the story? Don't tease your wives. *laughs*

Anyway, reviews are always appreciated! Hope to hear from you, guys! (though, be nice! I just came back from a really long hiatus. *laughs*)

Cheers!