I've started this way before season 3 ended, then I left it unfinished until today, so if there are any discrepancies, I am sorry. I'm afraid Jeff may be a bit OOC, but for this premise to work, I had to change/grow him a bit.

Anyway, enjoy! I hope you like it!

To Melkee, for being so nice and supportive.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Introduction to Commitment Issues


i.

The first time he asks her to marry him it's the last day of their third year at Greendale.

Somehow, they end up on L-Street/Red Door, a little bit drunk, which leads to them making out under the not-so-shocked gaze of the rest of the study group. They've hooked up again, the week before, but they've both swore not to tell a living soul, because that was not supposed to happen, at all. Of course, with alcohol coursing in their veins, it gets hard to remember certain agreements.

No one seems to care, anyway. Well, no one except Annie, but she will always be affected by whatever happens between him and Britta. Troy also seems a little bit uncomfortable and Jeff knows he and Britta have had some kind of fling, somewhere along the year, but whatever they have had, it's over now. Plus, he's too interested in Britta at the moment to worry about it.

"So, what are your plans for the summer?" Shirley asks, in an attempt to make them stop devouring each other's faces. "I hope I get to spoil little Ben for as long as I can and maybe I'll get to go on a vacation out of the country."

"Well, I have a date with Gary," says Annie, smiling cheekily. They've met Gary a couples of weeks ago and Annie has had a crush on him ever since. The guy looks a lot like Vaughn, and of course he is not allowed to hang out with the group, even though Annie has tried to change their minds about that fact.

Pierce mumbles something about his cult or religion or whatever, but no one pays attention to him, and Abed and Troy inform the group that they are going to be busy in the summer finishing their script.

He is not really listening to them. He's paying close attention to Britta instead, and he notices how her blonde curls frame her beautiful face and how her blue eyes are brighter that night and how her smile is a thousand times more beautiful. His heart turns and twists inside his chest, he feels fucking butterflies in his stomach, and he really wants to kiss her again.

But at the same time, he's frightened. In all honesty he isn't the type of guy that actually acknowledges that he feels something as corny and cheesy as affection or, even worse, love. These are all feelings that he isn't used to, feelings that he doesn't know if he is fully capable of feeling. All his life he thought that maybe ignoring any feelings was the smartest thing to do and he's pretty much defined his life by that.

Maybe it's his inebriated state or maybe he just doesn't feel like ignoring feelings, so he just looks her in the eye and blurts the first thing that pops on his mind, like it's the most fucking brilliant thing someone has ever said.

"I think we should get married."

She looks at him like he's just grown a second head and he finally realizes what he's just said.

"I mean," he starts, only to be cut off by Britta's laughter and her cute little snorts that she hates and he secretly finds sexy as hell.

"That's really funny, Jeff! I almost believed you," she says, when she finally stops laughing.

He smiles uneasily at her. "I know, right?"

No one will ever know he actually meant what he said. And if they do, he'll blame it on the alcohol.


ii.

The second time he asks her to marry him it's after graduation at Greendale.

They're finally graduating from that hell-hole of a college. He considers not going, but he wants that diploma, because for once he actually worked hard (kind of) to earn it. It isn't easy to make him dress up in that lame gown, though. Britta tells him that everyone will look that ridiculous and no matter how bad he looks in that thing, there's always someone who looks worse, and although that's a terrible thing to assume, well, he actually feels better. But that's who he is.

They get to the Greendale campus and after a while the ceremony finally begins. He's very proud watching all their friends from the study group (even Pierce) receiving their diplomas (and yeah, he watches every single one of them go on that decrepit stage, because his father had to be a fucking Winger). He's the most proud of Britta, of course. Not only because they've finally admitted to be in a stable relationship (does that really apply to them?), but also because she's still stuck by her beliefs about becoming a psychologist when all her supposed friends have done was mock her, him included. He's just glad that she's proved them all wrong.

In the end they all gather in their old study room. Britta is beside him, of course, and he takes a good look at her. Everyone else looks fucking ridiculous wearing that stuff, but not her. She actually looks beautiful in blue and pink (the colors of Greendale's flag), her golden hair and bright blue eyes standing out. He doesn't know for how long he's been staring at her and god, when did he become such a pussy?

Anyway, when he notices, Troy and Abed are leaving and they're all alone. She throws a soft smile in his direction (because, yes, Britta can be sweet when she wants to) and he smiles back (because he can be sweet, too).

"What now," she asks.

"Marriage," he mumbles, before he can stop himself. He doesn't know what's wrong with him; he feels like a freaking teenager again when he's with her and he doesn't know how to deal with this.

She cocks an eyebrow. "What?"

"Cleavage. It's missing in that gown of yours. We should take care of that." It's a terrible excuse and the words aren't even alike, but it seems to work (after she squints suspiciously at him, that is).

Maybe he should lay low with the marriage thoughts, but it's not like he can help it anyway. He wonders if she ever thinks about that either. He knows she doesn't; after all, she firmly states, every time she has a chance, that she doesn't believe in marriage. Anyway, this is the second time he thinks about marriage in his whole life, so it has to mean something, right?


iii.

The third time he asks her to marry him it's when he meets with his father.

He turns the key of their apartment's front door and gets in, taking his shoes off and leaving his keys on the console. After spending months insisting and begging (though he'll never admit that) for her to move in with him, she's finally given in, but with two simple conditions: one, they would look out for apartments and have one of their own, and two, if she has her stuff scattered around the apartment he can't complain nor freak out about it. He's accepted the terms, of course.

Anyway, he gets home with one single thought in mind: to lie down and sleep forever. However, on his way to the bedroom, he has to go through the living room and he spots Britta on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hand looking at some of her patients' files on the coffee table. She turns her head to him and sends him a smile, anyway.

He doesn't know how she does that, but she has a way of seeing right through him. On second thought, that's probably what makes her brilliant at her job. So, when the first thing she asks when she lays her eyes on him is "what happened?" he can't really say he's surprised.

"Nothing," he grunts in response.

"That, just right there, is not nothing. So, would you please care to tell me what happened to you today?"

"Why would you care," he asks, curtly, sitting next to her. He really hates it when she tries to shrink him.

"Well, you were the one who talked me into this living together nonsense, so it's kinda my job to care now. It can also be interpreted as my way of getting back at you, if it makes you feel better," she teases, smirking at him.

He fights the urge to kiss her and laugh at her, at the same time.

"My father came to meet me at work today," he blurts out instead. Britta opens her mouth to say something, but he cuts her off. "And before you ask, no, I didn't arrange a meeting with him and left you in the dark about it."

"I wasn't gonna ask you that," she replies, a little offended. "I was gonna ask you how did he find out where your job is at."

"I have no idea, either."

His shoulders are slumped and he feels vulnerable (which he doesn't like, at all). She rubs his back in soothing circles, trying to provide him some comfort.

"Do you want to talk about it," she asks, genuinely concerned.

"Not really."

"You could just try and get it all out of your chest, you know? That's what I'm here for," she insists.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

"You know me well, Winger." She laughs and he laughs, too. "What did you two talk about?"

He takes a deep breath. "Not much. He just went there and told me he's sorry for leaving me and my mom, but he's really proud of whom I've become."

"That was very nice of him, Jeff. And what did you say?"

"Nothing! It was so stupid, Britta, because I had this whole angry speech planned out in my head for when I'd lay my eyes on him and when the time comes, all I'm able to say is thank you. It was embarrassing." Britta is right, he feels much better after letting this all out.

She smiles and squeezes his shoulder. "Maybe it was for the best that you froze. Because maybe what you had planned to say, was not what you really meant and that could lead to misunderstandings that could make everything worse and who knows if things could ever be fixed."

"Do you really think so?"

"Who's the therapist here," she teases.

"He's also left a card with his contact."

"That's great! He's given you the chance to say whatever you need to say to him, if you want to. It's all in your hands now," she states, smiling at him. "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"

He leans in and softly presses his lips against hers.

"Don't you wanna get married?" This time, he still can't believe he's said that, but at the same time he's actually meant to, and it's all so confusing in his head.

"What? No!" She laughs. Until she sees the look on his face. "Wait, are you serious?"

"What if I am?"

"Jeff, you're vulnerable right now and you probably think that is the best solution, but I can assure it's not."

"So you won't marry me."

"No, I won't."

"Never?"

"Yes."

If there's one thing he is, it's persistent (Britta prefers the term stubborn). She says she won't marry him; he's just going to convince her otherwise or die trying.

"Okay, then," he says. "Will you still go with me, when I meet my father?"

She chuckles. "You sound like a girl. But yes, I'll go with you. And I love you. Don't ask me why, though. It's beyond my comprehension."

He grins and the last thing he knows, he's attacking her lips and carrying her to the bedroom.


iv.

The fourth time he asks her to marry him it's at Annie's wedding.

He wishes Britta hadn't been invited to be one of the bridesmaids, because now she can't stop nagging him about how the dress is "frilly", or how it's "so fucking pink", or even how the flowers of her bouquet "smell like rotten flesh," like he's the one to blame. He doesn't say anything, though. He just waits for her to calm down.

She eventually does so, after her stomach is full and after Annie apologizes for the dress being pink.

"It's okay," she assures. "I was just being good ol' bitter Britta. I actually like the dress."

At that, Annie's smile grows from ear to ear, as she thanks Britta for changing her opinion.

"That was nice of you," he states, once Annie goes back to her husband. He can see right through her and it's clear as day that she still hates that dress. She just smiles.

Later, Jeff invites her to dance and she accepts. It's an awfully slow song, so he just pulls her closely and she rests her head on his shoulder. Usually, she would be criticizing mercilessly everyone in the room, but she is way too quiet today, and it fucking scares him. Almost every single one of their fights has started like this.

"What's on your mind?" he asks. "You seem a bit on edge."

She mutters "nothing" against his shirt, but he knows better.

"It's the wedding, isn't it?"

"What gave it away," she counters, bitterly.

Behind Britta, he spots Annie and her husband swaying, all smiles and happiness. And he realizes he wants that so badly, even if it makes him a pansy.

Still dancing, he makes Britta spin around.

"Don't you want that?" He whispers in her ear. He spins her to face him again, and she looks conflicted. Her head is shaking no, but her eyes are saying yes. And he feels a shred of hope growing inside him. "Don't you wanna get married?"

The look she gives him tells him that she's thought about it, she's considered it and she's tempted. But her mouth pronounces a very clear, loud and unmistakable "no."

He sighs heavily, defeated. Why is she so stubborn?

"Why not, Britta? What are you so scared of?" He's raising his voice and people are starting to avert the attention to them, but he couldn't care less right now.

"Should I get married just because society thinks that's the right thing to do?"

"Oh, spare me the anarchy act!" he exclaims. "It's getting old. Give me an honest answer and tell me why won't you marry me."

By now, everyone is staring at them, the music still playing in the background but no one dancing. All eyes are on them.

"Because it won't work!" She finally explodes. "Every marriage I've witnessed has come to an end. And they haven't even ended prettily!" She takes a deep breath, collecting herself. "I value what we have too much to have it ruined."

And then she turns on her heels and leaves without as much as a look behind.

He's too pissed to go after her. They'll take care of it at home.


v.

The fifth time he asks her to marry him it's the day he turns 45.

I will ravish you tonight, is the text message waiting for him as soon as he turns his cell phone on, after a very intense session in the courtroom. He loves it when she's horny. On a normal day, she's up for most things when it comes to sex, but when's she's horny, he's allowed to get a bit more kinky. Plus, it's his birthday; he gets to choose the position.

As soon as he gets home, he calls out her name. When she doesn't answer, he crosses the apartment all the way to their bedroom, to find her wearing only her sexy panties and a tight corset. His mouth goes dry instantly.

"Happy birthday, Jeff," she says in a sultry voice. "Do you want to open your presents right away?"

A devilish grin grows on his face. "Oh, yeah."

He cups her face and starts devouring her lips, but she stops him.

"Not so fast. I thought you were going to open your presents."

"And I thought my present was getting rid of that fucking corset."

She arches an eyebrow, suggestively. "You can do that later."

Britta hands him a green box that he opens to reveal a green-blue stripped tie. "Uh, thanks, but I'd rather take care of…"

She waves her finger at him, telling him to be patient. "Here's another one."

He tears the wrapping paper of this new box and finally sees the most recent iPad model that has been sold out for over a month.

"How did you get your hands on this?"

"I have my ways. I'm glad you like it."

"I do. But I'd still prefer to…"

"Would you just wait?" she asks, exasperated. "Seriously, how horny are you?"

"Very!"

She rolls her eyes and then hands him a thin rectangular box. He opens it and stares at what's inside, his mouth slightly open. Inside the box, there's a pregnancy test with two pink lines.

He glances at her and he can tell she's anxious to know what he thinks of this.

"I'm pregnant." Her voice is shaky and he finally cracks a smile.

"Is this for real?" She nods, smiling as well, and he just takes her in his arms, kisses her hair, her face, her lips, her neck, every bit of skin he can reach in that position. He never thought he'd be so happy to find out that in nine months (give or take) he was going to be a father.

"Marry me," he whispers. He feels her tensing up in his embrace, but he doesn't care. "Marry me, Britta. Please."

"No," she says softly, caressing his cheek.

"Why not?" They've had this conversation, he knows, but… he wants this. Even though he knows that marriage is just a paper, he wants to feel what it's like to be her husband and what it's like to call her his wife (if his younger self was here right now, he'd ask "who is this loser and what has he done to my future self?").

"I don't want our kid to grow up thinking we only got married because I was pregnant."

He nods slightly. He just has to accept the fact that she will never marry him. Maybe he should admit the defeat, give up and just enjoy their life together and, in the closer future, the pregnancy.

"So are you ready for the final gift, or do you want to have dinner first?"

She barely has the time to finish the sentence and he already has her pinned to the bed.


vi.

The one time he doesn't it's 34 and a half weeks later.

Little Emma decided to grace the world with her presence a week after the due date and after thirteen excruciating hours in labor. His right hand was nearly crushed, and there were seventeen different pending threats on his genitalia, but seeing Britta holding their daughter makes everything worth it.

"Do you want to hold her," Britta asks, tiredly. She was a real trooper during Emma's delivery. The kid is too big and in addition to that, the nurses messed up and she had to go through the entire thing without an epidural. He can't even begin to imagine how much in pain she must have been. So if he can help her in some way, that's exactly what he'll do.

He takes the baby in his arms, tentatively. She is so tiny, he's afraid that even his breath might crush her. He glances up at Britta, who is smiling earnestly.

"We can do this, right? The being parents thing?"

"Yes. We can do it," she confirms, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He's so distracted with the baby that he almost misses what Britta is saying.

"Maybe we should get married, after all."

He stares at her for a moment. "Are you serious?"

She chuckles and, because she's so sore, she quickly regrets it.

"Yes, I'm serious, Jeff."

When he thought he couldn't be happier! "Great."

He glances down at Emma, again. "Hey kiddo, did you hear? Mom and dad are finally engaged. And in a couple of years, we'll get you a little brother to play with, okay?"

"No way, you're not gonna touch me ever again!"


THE END


So, was it too cheesy?

Let me know!

SLopez