A Test of Courage

Summary: Raven finally gets his hug and doesn't know where to put his hands. As it turns out, a simple hug can open up all sorts of possibilities. GEN.

Raven always expects the rejections, which at this point is why he continues to offer.

It's almost a joke, now, a game.

He waits until a particularly well-fought battle, preferably where he and the princess both performed at their best, and once it's all over, Raven grins and flings out his arms and makes his offer, and Estelle stutters and backs way and tries to be polite, and that's just how it works. He doesn't mind it per say; if he did he'd just quit, but that'd take all the fun out of it. He likes Estelle but he also likes watching her squirm and get flustered too.

Raven hasn't met a lot of princesses in his time but if they're all like her, well, he wouldn't mind meeting a few more.

Today's one of those days; the monsters are all feeling pretty spunky and it doesn't feel like they get to go ten minutes without another battle popping up. Raven tries to feel grateful for it because he knows (as would anyone with any sense, hard to find in this group) that if it was a slow day, someone would start complaining about that, too. At least if they're all out of breath, it's harder to gripe.

Whining's pretty fun, just not so much when it's coming from someone else.

Raven stops for breath and a healing circle lights up underneath his feet, closing up the slashes up his arms from monster claws. It's still a bit hard to get used to, having someone on the team who heals and attacks by turn, and she always seems to be ready with a spell right when any of them need it or a good smack with her sword when they can't look everywhere at once. The strained muscle loosens in his calf and Raven turns to look behind him. Estelle's traded her sword for a wand for now but even she seems to be getting tired; she's not the one to start complaining but he can see it in her face and the way her breaths come heavy and by the sweat that slips from dampened hair down her face.

They're all getting tired and the fun's running out.

Estelle has to focus on healing, which usually means a lot of running away. It's especially bad when they're up against people because people tend to think; people tend to remember that the best way to cripple a party is to take out the healer, and if Estelle were anyone else with a worse temper, she'd likely be swearing with every step. Not unlike Rita, who does have a worse temper and is swearing with every step, lashing out with her sash to tangle up ankles and send her enemies flying.

Raven takes down the wolf in front of him with an arrow to the chest. Estelle's paused to cast again but there's movement behind her and she whips around, only to see the bandit collapse to the ground, an arrow blossoming from his abdomen. At one point, Raven could remember feeling bad about taking human life. That wasn't what he did, wasn't what he was for. It doesn't matter now and he doesn't regret, especially not when the other option is one of these kids getting seriously hurt.

He doesn't know the extent of the princess' healing yet and he doesn't want to push those limits, not when she's the one who would end up the test subject.

And then it's over and Raven can breathe a little easier, the pounding of the blastia in his chest easing up to its normal dull beat, not unlike a normal human heart.

Karol drops like a rock to the ground.

"Thank goodness that's over," he breathes and that's when Estelle lowers her weapon.

They all look so tired, which is exactly why Raven decides that it's the perfect time for a back flip.

"Well hopefully that'll make 'em quit for a while, yeah?" he asks and approaches the princess, wondering if she'll see it coming. She never does and it's always fun.

Estelle nods.

"I hope so. I always feel kind of bad for having to kill them," she admits despite the eyeroll from Yuri in the background, "I know they're monsters, but they can't help what they are. But neither can we, and I don't want to die."

There's more to that than it seems, which is why Raven walks closer and holds out his arms.

"Well, you really saved my bacon back there with your healing. How 'bout a hug to celebrate?"

Judy smirks because she knows what's coming, Yuri facepalms, and Karol gets his patented here-we-go-again face.

Raven only offers because he knows he'll be rejected.

And then Estelle surprises them all.

One second Raven's standing there, waiting for the punchline, and the next he has an armful of princess barreling into his arms, crashing into his chest and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to haul him close in a decidedly unprincess-like manner. All movement and laughter stops and Raven realizes, suddenly, that he doesn't know what to do with his hands.

Raven only offers because he knows he'll be rejected.

He hadn't known that he'd have no idea what to do if someone suddenly accepted.

Estelle doesn't back away and Raven finally drags in a breath (when had he stopped breathing?) to return the hug, the girl's smaller frame light and deceptively breakable and so strong in his arms.

"Easy there," he murmurs in her ear against pink hair, "Any tighter and you might break ol' Raven." It's weird but if it came down to it, he wouldn't exactly mind being broken a little bit if he broke like this.

"O-oh! I'm sorry! I don't usually hug people…" she backpedals and loosens her grip but doesn't let him go, and all the while Raven prays that she doesn't notice what's all too obvious to him, the hard circle of metal and crystal that sits in his chest like a gift he never wanted. Someone else might notice. Actually, anyone else but probably Karol would have noticed, and Raven counts his blessings that it's her and no one else, not only because she doesn't notice but because it's just as much fun to hug her as it is to tease her.

"What's the occasion?" he can't help but ask. There's gotta be a catch somewhere, anywhere, because no one just goes around hugging him because they can, not because he asks.

Estelle pulls back and Raven notes that she'd been up on her tip-toes. It's with a lightly sheepish grin that gloved hands smooth the fabric of her skirt, an easy tell that gives away her embarrassment. The rest of the party is still quiet, even though Yuri has a suspicious twitch to his mouth that has as much to do with Raven's being flummoxed as it does with Estelle being herself and zigging where everyone expected her to zag. They want to know too, Raven understands with a start, just as much as he does.

"I—I don't know," she finally answers, "I just…wanted to? You said I saved you but you saved me. Not just now but a lot of other times too, and I haven't been kind to you."

She doesn't say it but her eyes are begging him to understand and Raven just doesn't understand at all. He knows he's frustrating and that's why he makes a point to be so, to be more so; the whole point is that no one takes a closer look at anything else that he doesn't want anyone looking at. Estelle's looking now and he doesn't want her to.

"Hey now, it's just bein' a team player is all. No need to get squishy."

Telling Estelle not to be squishy is like telling the sky not to be blue; it's pointless as all hell but he tries anyway sometimes.

Before the girl can reply, there's a tug on her skirt and she looks down. Repede's sitting next to her just off to the side, and once he has her attention, his tail gives a few short wags. Then, he lifts a paw.

Estelle gapes and drops to her knees before that paw can be retracted, and within seconds she's giving it a firm shake, running her hands over Repede's ears and scratching him under the collar like she's wanted to for months. That's it for Yuri, who gives up all pretenses of decorum and starts howling with mirth.

That laughter's contagious and it's not long before the tiredness and grouchiness is forgotten in favor of lighter things, of slapping Raven on the back with a camaraderie he's almost forgotten and ruffling the hair of the Imperial princess and being what up to this point Raven had thought he'd only been pretending to be: friends.

Turns out that he's wrong about that one and he's only now figuring it out.

Watching, Raven realizes for the first time just how hard it's going to be to do what he has to, to save his own skin. He never intended to get attached, to let these ridiculous, occasionally infuriating, occasionally squishy, occasionally violent people close to him because that means it's going to be all the harder later, when he has to look them in the eyes and see betrayal.

He hopes that it's quick when the inevitable retribution comes and that Yuri will be kind enough to deny him what he deserves for this. A part of him hopes, treacherously, that he won't be.

For now though, he lets himself laugh with a sort of honest joy he thought he'd forgotten. The end would come but it wouldn't come yet, and until it did, well.

Raven will take advantage of this while it lasts, and remember this happiness when it all falls apart. While it lasts, he'll remember the warmth.

Raven only offers because he's sure he'll be rejected.

Now he'll continue to do so because he's been proven wrong and he doesn't mind it so much.

AN: This is my first foray into Vesperia fic so if you have anything at all to say about this, please leave a review and let me know! I'd love to know what you all think.