A/N:

Sorry for the delay. I just had too much to do last month and couldn't find the time to write.

On another note, sorry to disappoint you all, but Harry is not getting any boobs in this chapter. Albus is.

Chapter 10: "Well, boobs."

Harry whistled as he skipped along. Nicolas and his wife watched him with small smiles as they trekked the familiar woody path towards the Delacour house. Albus had gone back to Hogwarts early that morning to take care of Christmas arrangements there. Seeing as there were quite a few students staying at the castle for the holidays, he had to be there for them. It also became a tradition for the professors to exchange gifts during Christmas and Albus was really looking forwards to giving out his new set of multicolored socks to the others. Harry, of course, just sighed at his logic and shook his head.

Nicolas passed the wards of the house and beckoned for Harry to follow. A scrambling sound came from inside the house, followed by the sound of someone tripping. They waited patiently at the doorstep as the person inside fumbled with the locks. The door opened, revealing Appoline and another person who looked like her younger sister, though Harry knew she had to be the daughter. Although Harry knew Appoline was older than she looked, it was still a bit unnerving to see the mother looking as young as the daughter.

"Uncle Nick! Aunt Penny!" She burst out the door and hugged to two, before stepping back and letting her daughter do the same.

"Why, it's nice to see you too." Nicolas laughed. "Ah before I forget, this here is Harry Potter, Headmaster of Hogwarts. You've heard of him right? He'll be staying with us for the holidays."

Appoline froze and turned as white as sheet as her gaze fell on the smiling boy.

"Y—you…"

"Nice to meet you ma'am. I'm Harry Potter." Harry extended his hand to Appoline, who took it with a shaky grip. Harry's smile widened as his eyes flashed, sending a message that seemed to say "Play along or suffer my wrath."

"Headmaster? But he's only a little boy!" The daughter pointed a finger at him.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I may be small but I'm big where it counts." His grinned as his hand unconsciously move towards a specific area on his pants. Nicolas clamped down on his shoulder, hard enough to make him realize what he was doing and blush.

She looked at him skeptically but decided to play along for the moment. If Nicolas approves of the boy, then that was all the guarantee she needed. "Well, I'm Fleur. Nice to meet you." The now identified Fleur said. Appoline led them inside and went to prepare some refreshments while they made themselves comfortable. Harry noticed Fleur looking at him strangely from the other couch adjacent to him but he paid it no mind.

She must have been entranced by my awesomeness. Harry thought to himself as he sipped his tea.

"Uncle Nick… he's…?" Fleur said hesitantly.

Nicolas raised an eyebrow and looked at Harry, who was looking bored. "Ah, it looks like Harry has resistance to Veelas."

"I see…" Fleur's eyes narrowed and her expression suddenly turned dark. The mood around the room turned grim and Harry felt he was missing something.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"Time for a quick civic lesson I guess." Penny said. "Harry, you know what Veela are, right?"

The boy nodded. "Descendant of nymph and human. Extremely beautiful and have allure that will have all men in a 50 meter radius get a boner."

Nicolas nodded. "Well, you see, there are a rare number of men who are unaffected by this allure and these types are the ones that Veelas usually target as mates."

"Why do I get the feeling this is a bad thing?"

"Because there are a group of these men who band together and kidnap Veela, selling them as slaves." Appoline answered as she brought in some pastries. "Since they are unaffected by the allure, it's easy for them to capture the Veela and ship them off to auctions. They're quite skilled too. Though what's most disturbing is their method of doing things. They approach the girl and make her fall for them before kidnapping her. After the girl has been sold, she gets forcibly bound to the wizard, making it impossible for her to love another person. The bond is so strong that if her partner dies, she will as well. Those that can't be bonded due to an existing bond either get killed or are treated like animals. There have been a large number of disappearances lately and everyone is tense. We never know if we might be next."

"Th—that's horrible!" Harry cried.

"Well it's not like it's a new thing. Slavery has been around since forever, after all. What do they call it nowadays, people trafficking? Either way, it's a dangerous world out there. Luckily, the wards Uncle Nick and Aunt Penny set up can detect malicious intent so we should be safe here."

"What happens if an enemy comes then?" Harry asked.

"They get their magic drained and their penis falls off." Nicolas answered matter-of-factly.

"Ouch." Harry winced.

Loud footsteps thundered down the stairs from the second and an excited Gabrielle squealed as she ran to through and headed for the front door.

"Papa's back!" The girl cried, opening the door to reveal a man in his mid-thirties. The man picked up the little girl and swung her around. Gabrielle squealed in delight as she circled in the air.

"How's my little angel? Have you been a good little girl? Daddy missed you so much!" He hugged Gabrielle and carried her to the living room and kissed his wife in greeting before giving his other daughter a hug. His eyes then swept across the room and fell onto the visitors seated there.

"Uncle Nick, Aunt Penny... good to see you guys again... and you are...?"

Harry shook the man's hand and introduced himself. "I'm—"

"Uncle Harry!" Gabrielle jumped from her father's arms and before Harry could react, had her arms around his neck and expecting him to carry her.

"Er... I'm Harry Potter, the other Headmaster of Hogwarts."

It took a good twenty minutes to explain Harry's acquaintance with Nicolas and Gabrielle. Arman Delacour seemed to process it all calmly but Harry could tell the man was a bit overwhelmed with all that has been happening to his family while he was away.

"Would you like me to fix you up something to eat, dear?" Appoline asked.

Arman shook his head. "Had Kenpachi's on my way here."

Appoline knitted her eyebrows and scolded him. "You've been having too much of that already! You're gonna get fat one of these days, I swear!"

Harry scratched his head. "Kenpachi's?"

"Kenpachi's Fried Chicken. It's a muggle restaurant that specializes in chickens." Nicolas explained.

Harry frowned. "We had KFC in Japan too but I'm pretty sure the K meant something else."

"Well, it's hard to get proper meals with my line of work." Arman said, sipping his tea.

"What do you do?" Harry asked.

"Dad is kind of like the French ambassador to the vampires." Fleur answered with a hint of pride.

"Vampires?" Harry read about them in books but didn't pay them much attention as they don't go out of their way to trouble the wizards. The vampires liked their isolationism and since they pretty much went inactive in wizarding affairs after Voldemort's downfall, the wizards left them alone in turn.

Arman looked sheepish as his job was brought up but explained nonetheless. "There are many vampire clans scattered throughout Europe and the Ministry tries to keep as good diplomatic relations with them as possible. There are actually many different species of vampires that exist. I mainly deal with the more common ones since they are the least dangerous and are actually open to negotiations. The other types however, are few in number and are actually too dangerous to approach. They could wipe out entire cities by themselves." Arman winced. "Luckily they tend to mostly keep to themselves to avoid the people who hunt them for a living."

"People specialized in hunting vampires?" Harry asked. The Defense Against the Dark Arts books never mentioned anything too specific about vampires. From what Arman was telling him, it seemed the French were more knowledgeable about dark creatures than Britain. Harry briefly toyed with the idea of hiring the man as the D.A.D.A teacher for the next school year but he doesn't seem like the type to teach in a classroom. The man exuded an aura that told of restlessness and Harry knew that he wasn't one to be tied in one place for too long.

"Yes, there are special organizations that hunt down the more dangerous vampires. Unlike the lesser vampires which share the same evolutionary origin as a wizard, these vampires are said to be descended from an alien of such great power that it almost destroyed the planet by having the moon smash into it. I don't know if it's true or just fiction but this species of vampires are still one of the most dangerous beings on the planet at the moment."

"Descended from aliens?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "That's kinda hard to believe. If they're so powerful, why haven't they taken over the world yet?"

Arman shrugged. "I don't know all the details but a lot of them were eliminated by the one they called the 'White Princess' a long time ago after succumbing to their thirst for blood. The humans whom they have turned into vampires are actually the ones that we have to deal with today. Even though they are not as powerful as the originals, they are still one of the most powerful species on the planet. I heard they even have their own armies. As curious as I am about them as a race, I think it's better to stay away from them in general. The lesser vampires are already giving me enough problems as it is."

Harry was about to ask more but Appoline shoved a pastry in his mouth and sent a mock glare in Harry's direction. "Enough talk about work. It's Christmas! We should be enjoying ourselves!"

Arman nodded and smiled. "You're right. Well Harry, you said you're Hogwarts' Headmaster? That's pretty impressive. Don't you have to study for decades to acquire multiple masteries before qualifying for the job?"

"Mine was a special case. The castle itself decided that I'm good enough for the job but even then I'm still kind of like an assistant at the moment, though I have the same authority as Albus within the school. It takes a while to learn the ropes and the small details of the job but I should be as good as Albus, if not better, by the time I graduate. The professors said that at the rate I'm going, I should be able to earn my Masteries by my seventh year. Snape even said if I try harder, I could be a Potions Master before my sixth year ends."

Shocked silence greeted this revelation. Even Nicolas and his wife, who knew that Harry was somewhat of a genius, had their mouths open. After the incredulous silence stretched on for nearly a minute, it was Appoline who spoke.

"Well well. It looks like we have ourselves quite the prodigy here. It took me nearly ten years of post-graduate studies to get my Mastery in History. And you say you're getting multiple ones at the same time?" She shook her head in wonder.

Harry gave her a lop-sided grin. "My brain is only one of my talents. My fingers are pretty skilled too."

Appoline choked on her tea and glared daggers at Harry, who merely looked back at her with playful innocence. The others didn't seem to notice the subtle byplay between the two and continued with what they were doing.

"You play an instrument?" Arman asked.

"Oh yes. I can make girls squeal just by playing the G note by itself."

"You're a ladies man eh? Got a girlfriend?"

"Nope."

"Why not? It's only normal for healthy young boys to be into that kind of stuff."

Harry gave him a rueful smile in return. "While I do have more than an unhealthy amount of interest in women, I think I have more self-control than others on that kind of thing. Every time I almost pounce on a girl, I kept remembering that all girls, no matter how pretty, will still fart and shit."

"Amen to that." Arman raised his cup to Harry, earning himself a smack to the head by his wife.

"On another note, is Esme also coming, Fleur?" Arman asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yes, I'm supposed to pick him up in an hour."

"Who's Esme?" Harry asked.

"Fleur's boyfriend." Appoline said, causing Fleur to blush.

"As much as I don't approve of my daughter getting into a relationship at such a young age, I can't help but to like the guy." Arman added approvingly.

"I'm fifteen! I'm old enough to make my own decisions." Fleur said.

In other parts of the world, fifteen is too old to have lived without having lost your virginity. Harry thought. And from the way she carries herself, it's not hard to see she is one.

Stop. You have enough targets to corrupt at the moment, Harry. No need to add fifteen year old virgins to the list.

Oh, fine. It's easier to corrupt the younger sister anyways.

*Sigh* You're not gonna give up on corrupting Gabrielle, are you?

Nope. The younger they are, the easier they are to corrupt.

Just don't go overboard. His Zanpakutou sighed in defeat.

Don't worry. I have pretty good self-control, you know. And besides, I'm not a lolicon.

Or so you say.

===Hogwarts===

Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts Headmaster and Supreme Mugwump etc., frowned as he poked Harry's present with his wand.

It looked like a marble carving of a woman's breast, a perfectly shaped woman's breast, with a size that was perfectly balanced against its shape.

Albus reread the note sticking out from under it for the tenth time. Poke the nipple with wand.

Albus sighed and finally relented. He knew enough about the boy not to trust Harry's machinations. He cast protection charms on himself and his office and cautiously tapped the nipple with his wand.

Colors flooded the marble carving, giving it the same life like features as a real breast. It wobbled at the wand's touch, soft, yet firm. Albus' eyebrows shot up and his jaw dropped.

Loud footsteps came from the stairway that led to his office, and his door banged open, revealing a fuming McGonagall.

"Albus! What in Merlin possessed you to send me a vibrator of all things as a present?! Have you lost your mind? Why couldn't you just have stuck with socks?"

Albus face palmed. So Harry did send out those presents… and wrote them off as mine!

"Minerva there's a good explanation for this."

"Oh? You don't say."

"You see, Harry is playing a prank on all of us. Whatever you got that has my name on it definitely came from him."

"And what did he give you?"

"Well, boobs."

"What?!"

"According to the letter he sent with it, he wanted advice on how to make it seem even more lifelike. After viewing its mechanics using a magesight spell, I identified warming charms, a transfiguration spell that turns the marble into what looks like skin, and several other mechanisms that I cannot identify that makes the entire thing function like a human."

McGonagall gaped. "W—why would he make such a thing?"

"If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say he's trying to make a homunculus."

===Back to the Delacours===

Christmas dinner was a new experience for Harry. The pleasant atmosphere by itself was more than enough to make him forget about his troubles even for a short amount of time. Appoline also proved to be a very good chef, introducing him to new tastes and dishes that the students of Hogwarts could only dream of being served.

The mood brightened up considerably after Fleur's boyfriend arrived in time for dinner. Harry could tell the family liked the man and they probably think of him as part of the family already. Harry thought the teen was pleasant enough and easy to get along with. Esme was a good looking young man with long, black hair tied in a stylish ponytail and rectangular glasses that framed his handsome face. If Harry was to sum him up in one word, he'd say Esme was a bishounen, or a beautiful boy. However, Harry could tell there was something off about the way he moved and carried himself. His paranoia only increased as he observed the teen throughout dinner.

That guy Esme… his aura looks like it's covered in mud. What do you think, Hime?

Definitely suspicious. The mud in his aura definitely marks him as someone who's hiding something.

Harry didn't voice his suspicions out loud and just kept an eye on Esme just in case. Something about the guy just didn't add up and Harry was determined to find out what. After two more hours of observation, Harry realized what it was and laughed out loud, causing the others to look at him like he was crazy.

They all sat in the living room after dinner, enjoying the company of each other. Appoline and Arman went to their room early, no doubt to catch up on their sex life before Arman went away for another long period of time. Nicolas and Perenelle were sitting on the couch, discussing something in hushed whispers while Esme and Fleur were feeding each other in a love seat, leaving Harry to play with Gabrielle.

"You wanna be my minion?" Harry asked in the most serious tone he could muster, his expression grave.

"What's a minion?" The little girl asked with pure, innocent curiosity.

"Hmm…" Harry rubbed his chin in thought. "According to the book I was reading this morning, a minion is someone who a leader thinks is worthy enough to be his subordinate. The minion performs all the important work that the leader needs done, unlike a henchman who only does menial labor. So what do you say? Minions get special treatment you know."

Gabrielle's eyes grew wide and nodded her head excitedly. First member of Harry's human army: obtained.

"I'm bored. Do we have anything fun around here to do?" Fleur whined after another hour had passed.

"Your house." Esme shrugged.

"Well… there is this game I have been working on for quite a while now. Wizard chess, exploding snap, and gobstones got boring after a while so I decided to invent one. You want to test it out? It should be ready for beta." Harry said.

Gabrielle immediately bobbed her head in agreement while Fleur frowned skeptically.

"Here, let me show you." Harry pulled out the Voodoo Dick and waved it in front of him, creating a distortion in space as the dimensional barriers split, showing a different world beyond.

"Harry… i—is that the Dildo of Ravenclaw?" Perenelle asked with wide eyes.

"I thought the Voodoo Dick was lost after Ravenclaw divorced from the Hufflepuff House but it seems you've found it." Nicolas commented with amazement.

"Well… the Sorting Hat gave it to me, saying that it was a gift."

Nicolas snorted. "The Voodoo Dick won't obey you unless it thinks you are worthy enough to use its powers. Judging by the ease you seem to use it, I'd say it likes you very much."

Harry winced. "Somehow it does not make me feel better knowing that a dildo likes me."

"What is a Voodoo Dick?" Fleur asked.

"Guys, I don't think we should be talking about that kind of stuff. Gabrielle's here you know." Esme pointed at the little girl, who was reaching for the glowing dildo with unnatural curiosity.

"Sorry, Gabrielle. I'm not letting you borrow this until you're old enough to pleasure yourself."

"HARRY!" They all yelled at him in unison.

"What? We can't keep her innocent forever." Harry said defensively.

"B—but still… it's not proper!" Esme cried in outrage.

Harry merely raised an eyebrow. "Like you're one to talk. When are you gonna tell Fleur about your little secret?"

Esme blushed and muttered in indignation. "H—how d'you know?"

"Same way I know that Appoline is on her fifteenth orgasm right about now and that Fleur is wearing white panties with cat prints on them. I know many things." He tapped a finger to his forehead and gave them a lop-sided grin.

Fleur turned red started to yell at him but due to her shock, no words came out. Nicolas and Perenelle tried to hold in their gales of laughter while Gabrielle merely looked on in confusion.

"Really… it was worth bringing Harry just for this." Nicolas finally said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted…" Harry gave Nicolas a mock glare, who just smirked at him in return. "This portal leads to a different dimension created by the powers of the Voodoo Dick. I created a role playing game in this dimension in which many people can play at once. I used the cliché idea of a group of heroes killing the demon lord as the basis for this game. As the group enters, the game chooses the one with the most magical power as the demon lord of the game. The demon lord is the most fun role in this game since it practically lets you be the king of the game. The game provides you with enough magic to do whatever the heck you want. The rest of the group however, gets assigned roles such as knight, wizard, healer, etc. and their goal is to defeat the demon lord. The game ends when the demon lord is defeated or the group dies."

"Unbelievable…" Esme shook his head. "Creating dimensions just for a game…"

"Oh, I forgot to mention. As you enter this dimension, you will leave your body behind and only your soul will be able to go in. It should be safe as I've tested this multiple times. If you die in the game, your soul will just get sent back to your body."

"Sounds good. Let's try it." Nicolas said and despite some protests, pulled everyone else with him as he entered the portal.

The group felt as if they were being squeezed through a straw as they felt themselves leaving their bodies behind. They fell onto a grassy plain in a tangle of arms and legs.

"Urgh." Fleur rubbed her head, grimacing as she did so.

"Mffff…" Came the voice from… between her legs?

"Kyaa!" Fleur jumped back and clutched her skirt, her face turning beet red in anger and embarrassment.

"Hmm… I was wrong… not cat panties. Bear panties." Harry rubbed his chin in thought, a serious expression on his face. "Pedobear sure has spread around the world. Though I guess it isn't that surprising. People love cute, childish things after all. But panties? Seriously? I mean we're barely recovering from the horrors of Hello Kitty and Pedobear has already found his way into panties! I guess the world just isn't as safe as it used to be anymore."

"W—what are you talking about?!" Fleur yelled. "Apologize, you pervert!"

Harry gave her an odd look. "Apologize? You should be thanking me for complimenting your panties!"

Fleur looked like she was about to blow. Unbridled fury radiated off her in waves that Harry flinched.

"Esme… kill him. For soiling a maiden's purity… kill him!"

Nothing interesting happens.

"Esme?" Fleur looked around in confusion. Esme was kneeling with his back turned to her and clutching his chest. He was visibly shaking and was wearing… a dress?

"F—Fleur… I'm so sorry…" Esme turned back to Fleur with bloodshot, watery eyes.

BOOOOOOOOBS! I knew it! Harry thought excitedly, mentally pumping his fists into the air.

Fleur's jaw dropped. The shock of finding the man she loved was actually a woman caused her mind to blank out, making her remember all the perverted thins they had done together and imagining what would have happened if they actually tried to have sex. Esme approached her cautiously and gave her a hug, muttering incomprehensible stuff the whole time. He (or was it she?) then looked at Fleur in the eyes and kissed her long and deep.

Long, deep, and flavorful. With tongue! Lots and lots of tongue that it's practically mouth rape!

Fleur's eyes rolled to the back of her head, losing herself in the pleasure of the kiss. A low moan escaped her lips as Esme's hands moved all over her body, stimulating multiple erogenous zones at once. After two full minutes of locking lips, they broke apart, leaving Fleur panting on the ground with a dazed expression on her face and some drool hanging from her mouth.

"Wow that was hot." Harry and Nicolas said in awe. They grinned at each other and slapped high fives. A cough from Perenelle brought their attention back to their surroundings.

"Ehem… Harry where are we?" She asked, pulling some twigs out of Gabrielle's hair.

"Well, I haven't really thought of a name for this area yet but we should be in a clearing south of the Forest of Doom. There should be a town to the east where we can buy supplies. If you check your pockets, there should be a pouch containing a hundred gold coins and some health potions. You can use the health potion to heal from any injury as long as it's not an instant kill, like let's say, your head gets chopped off. The clothes you are wearing right now signify your class. That is, what your role in the group is."

They looked at themselves for the first time and gasped at the change in clothing. Nicolas was wearing a pure white robe and wizard hat, complete with a white staff resembling a certain White wizard in a certain Hobbit movie. Perenelle's was a black priest robe, Esme's a provocative battle dress consisting of brown leather straps and metal buckles, and Fleur's was a green tunic with a purple skirt under a layer of metal plates. Slung on her shoulder were a longbow and a quiver of arrows. Gabrielle on the other hand, was in full plate armor with a large shield and a short sword.

"Hmm… wizard, healer, assassin, archer, and … knight? Pretty standard but this should be good enough. Though, I'm not sure the game picked the right choice, choosing Gabrielle as the tank." Harry shook his head. "Ah well. Anyways, you can only use magic that is specific to your class. For example, an assassin cannot cast fireballs, stunners etc. The wizard on the other hand, can do all the spells he knows plus some additional ones that are specific to the game. Your imagination is key here. You are in a different dimension where you can pretty much do anything. Shooting arrows might not seem as destructive as the powers of a wizard, but if you can imagine an arrow that shoots out nuclear warheads, that property will be infused to your arrow and it will work."

"Interesting." Nicolas said, twirling his staff and experimenting with standard spells first before pointing it at the sky and causing lightning to rain down, destroying a good portion of the trees north of them. "I must say, this is quite extraordinary."

"And what are you supposed to be?" Fleur asked and pointed at Harry.

Harry looked down at himself and face palmed. Apparently, there was a glitch that he hasn't fixed yet. He was in his Japanese shinigami uniform with his Zanpakutou slung on his waist. He scratched his head, trying to think up an explanation.

"Er… a samurai?"

"Hang on, didn't you say one of us will get chosen by the game to be the demon king? Then why are all of us still here?" Esme asked, pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. Now that Harry could see her in female clothing, he couldn't deny that she was hot. She has lots of curves in all the right places that was normally covered by her baggy clothing and form of a model. Her beauty however, looked dim compared to Fleur but if she was by herself, she would be on hell of an eye candy. It was no wonder that Harry and Nicolas had nosebleeds when they see the two beautiful young women making out.

But she still had a point and Harry couldn't think of an answer. "That's strange. It should have picked me as the demon lord by now. Is it another glitch?" He rubbed his chin in thought.

"Why would it pick you?" Fleur demanded.

"Well, seeing as I'm the most powerful wizard in our group in terms of sheer magical energy…"

Loud, thundering booms sounded off in the distance. The ground shook from the impact of an army marching approximately 20 miles away from them. Harry's eyes widened in shock at what he saw.

"B—but… that's impossible! The Voodoo Dick is stronger than me?" He said in a stunned tone.

"Harry, contrary to what you think, you are just a side character in this story. The Voodoo Dick is actually the main character." Nicolas clapped his back in pity.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked in confusion.

"What does that make us then?" Esme demanded.

Nicolas sighed. "Well, you're just an OC so I don't think the author would have no problem in killing you in two chapters or so."

"WHAT?!"

"Nicky, dear, you're scaring the children." Perenelle whacked him in the head.

"Right… sorry about that. I forgot they can't break the fourth wall until they reach a certain, old age."

"What's a fourth wall?" Gabrielle asked.

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head over, dear." Perenelle said kindly.

The sound of a trumpet brought their attention back to the approaching army.

"It's impossible… we can't possibly win against the Voodoo Dick… and being the demon lord just makes it even worse. The damn dildo is practically a god now!" Harry fell to his knees. A dark cloud of despair floated above him.

The army paused, its soldiers standing over five meters tall and glowing golden in the bright midday sun. Then as one, each one vibrated, creating shockwaves in the ground with a force that can split mountains. As if to show off its power, the commander moved forward, and vibrated mockingly. It turned towards a distant mountain and fired a beam, of all things, completely obliterating the mountain into a pile of rubble. It turned back to Harry's group and vibrated once, signaling for its army of seventy thousand five meter tall dildos to resume their march.

Harry voice shook with despair as he voiced everyone's thoughts as they watch the approaching army of giant dildos.

"We're screwed."