Alfred pulled into the driveway, having been sent home early from work. There wasn't much need for any extra help, so his boss went ahead and let him off. He was still upbeat, from the activities of his duties, and was musing on things to do before the inevitable crash. Matthew hadn't reported any trips to Europe to him today, so he must be home by now. His work let out a lot earlier.

Alfred and Matthew had moved in together, some time ago, mainly to split on the rent, but enjoying the company. They had both declared they would live together one day, so it was inevitable. Renting a small two bedroom house, along the borders of their two nations.

It had started raining, on the way home, and thunder bubbled around the house. Alfred rushed onto the concrete porch, shaking the water from his hair. As annoying as it was to be caught in it, he was grateful for the rain. It had been very very hot, and the rain would definitely cool the surrounding atmosphere. He let out a low sigh, kicking the excess water from his shoes, and opened the front door to head inside.

He was too preoccupied with removing his wet shoes to announce his arrival, when he walked through the door... now he wasn't sure if that was a good call or not. The sight that greeted him was something he never even imagined he would see.

He was here. The last being on Earth he ever wanted to see. That damn Russian with... his precious Mattie. In a position that was probably sparked by his twin's French side.

Instantly his demeanor fell into complete silence. A knot twisted in his stomach, making him feel sick. A sharp pain hitting him square in the chest. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry out, or run, or do something... but he couldn't. His shock had completely over powered any sense he could muster to be rational. Rooting him to the spot, with his mouth agape.

Ivan was the first to look up and see him. Which was fortunate, for him at least, since Matthew would have definitely ended things with the sight of his brother's arrival. Instead, a wicked grin slid across his face at seeing his rival's slack jawed expression. He tilted his head to meet the Canadian's lips. Alfred felt his stomach lurch with how easily he accepted the kiss. His lips parting obediently. He could see Ivan's tongue pushing along the inside of Matthew's cheek as their tongues twined together.

This wasn't right. This couldn't be his precious Matthew doing these things. There was just no way. He... he had to do something. He had to stop this... but he couldn't. No matter how loud his head screamed for him to save his little brother, he couldn't move.

Ivan gave an extra quick thrust, inciting a moan from his partner, but he didn't seem to want to stop there. His movement's elevated to an increasing motion until Matthew had to break their kiss to release his moans. His head pushing back into the couch cushions. Ivan decided to take this time to slid his lips along his jawline, until his teeth found an ear.

"M-Mattie?" Alfred managed to whimper softly, but Matthew obviously didn't hear him through his drunken stupor, or his own moans. Somewhere amongst the gut wrenching sounds he finally heard the one thing he wished he hadn't. Ivan's name slipping from his brother's lips, dripping with ecstasy.

That cinched it. This wasn't an invasion. This was consensual. They were together in this intimate bond... together... fucking. Or was it? Was this just a fling, or genuine affection? Did Matthew really love that conniving psychotic bastard?

"Ivan. Ha-harder." Matthew sighed.

He could almost hear the Russian's mocking laughter echoing in his head.

Alfred felt the knot in his stomach, jump up to his throat, choking out his heart in the process. This wasn't right. No... no, stop it. His eyes were burning with the impending tears.

"I'm al-most- hah." His voice was lost in the deep strains of his breathing.

Ivan laughed lightly, moving his head to Matthew's other ear. "As you wish, my love." He flashed another wicked smile to Alfred, far more amused at the increased horror that spread across his face. The tears that slid from his unfocused eyes as his little brother's moans increased into screams, his hands raking across Ivan's back. Even Ivan himself was soon too distracted to mock his rival any further. His breaths had quickened in time with Matthew's. His hand gripping tighter to his leg, as he pushed it up further.

Alfred felt his legs shaking, his face heating up with what he highly hoped wasn't arousal. "Mattie." He gasped, unable to raise his voice above a faint cry. "Stop it." Again he was drowned out by Matthew. It was such a debilitating sensation to feel so helpless at something. Not even able to make his voice heard.

Soon both of their breaths started to settle down into the afterglow. Ivan brushed a hand through the long blonde hairs, and gave him a light kiss, smiling down at him. "Do you love me?" Matthew slid his arms around Ivan's neck, and gave him a very warm smile through the haze of his exhaustion. "Oui. I love you." Ivan leaned back in to kiss him again, when they heard Alfred gasp, his hand falling to the sharp spike in his chest.

Matthew drew back, looking up at Ivan as though it were him, who had made that sound. Ivan leaned down to kiss the cheek closest to Alfred, then turned his gaze back to the shell-shocked nation. "You know. You are more than welcome to join, next time."

"What?" Matthew asked, confused, before his gaze followed Ivan's towards the door. It took him a moment to fully register who was there, then he gasped, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "Alfred!"

Alfred's stone cold shock finally showed his pain at the horrified look his twin gave him. He was terrified at seeing him. He had never looked at him that way. That horror at his presence. He hadn't looked at Ivan that way. He smiled at Ivan. Ivan... that cold blooded monster who mocked him, as he knew he was taking away the only thing he had that meant anything to him.

His precious Matthew.

"Alfred. I-I thought you were at work. What are you doing home?"

Alfred could no longer find any trace of a voice. He bit his lip, trying to stop it from quivering, but it only incited more tears.

Matthew's terror melted into what could be more sad. He finally physically pushed Ivan away and tried to sit up. "How long have you been there?" His voice was quiet and unsure, but he knew that it didn't really matter.

Ivan was far too amused by the subtle variations of rage and loss that flitted around Alfred's features that he was completely ignoring Matthew's. "Alfred." His voice was shaking, his own eyes starting to sting. "You weren't supposed to... I'm so sorry."

Instantly Alfred's mood settled on rage, as his eyes narrowed dangerously on his twin. "Sorry?" He choked on his own voice, trying to catch his breath. What did he have to be sorry for? If he was sorry then he wouldn't be here with him. Sorry he got caught, maybe?

"Alfred, please." Matthew gave a shuddering breath, his own tears starting to fall. "Say something."

Say something? He wanted him to say something? Oh, he could think of plenty of things he wanted to say. Unfortunately, every thought that was swimming through his head was screaming far too loud for him to understand what any of it was saying. All it could converge into was something he never thought he'd ever say to his brother. "Drop dead!" It was the first time, since he walked in, that he was able to fully find his voice, and it burned his throat to say it. Without even caring to see his reaction, Alfred stormed out the front door and slammed it shut with enough force to shake the windows, breaking one of the small panes.

"ALFRED!" Matthew cried, starting to slide off the couch, but Ivan threw his arms around his shoulders, to stop him.

"Ivan?"

"Just let him go." Ivan pulled him back to sit on his lap, kissing the side of his neck. "He just needs to cool down."

"No, Ivan." Matthew tried to pull away, tears coating his face. "I have to go after him." Ivan just clung tighter. "Please. Let me go."

"Jones is just being dramatic." Ivan chimed, nuzzling further into the side of his neck, a hand sliding between Matthew's legs. "He wants you to follow him. Just let him go."

"No." Matthew's face flushed, trying to pull Ivan's hand away. "Ivan. Let me go!" Matthew growled, elbowing Ivan in the stomach. Ivan oofed, clutching a hand to his gut as Matthew wormed from his grip, and started pulling on his pants. "He may know that I'll follow, but he doesn't want me to. If I don't leave now, I'll lose him." Matthew didn't even spare a thought to see the astonished look on his lover's face, as he collected the rest of his clothes. He grabbed an umbrella, and ran out the door. It swung closed, but didn't latch, the wind blowing the rain onto the tiled floor.

Ivan sighed, his hand lazily scooping up his own pants. "You better come back."

xXx

Matthew would follow. Of course he would. It was the only thing about him that was constant. He would typically do whatever, but if he knew his brother was upset, he would follow him to the ends of the Earth. Dropping whatever he was doing, just to make sure he was alright. The only difference, this time, was that he really didn't want him to follow.

Alfred could feel the rain cutting into his face. The only thing that could cool down the heat from his rage, only just reminded him of how fragile he felt. He bolted down the street, as fast as he could, his one bare foot splashing painfully against the wet asphalt. It didn't matter where he went, he had to keep going until he lost his brother. It was a very strange pain indeed. He had never wanted so desperately to be away from the one he loved, but that wouldn't stop him from running. He turned a corner, skidding on the road, and nearly fell over, but he regained his footing quick enough and continued to run. There was a camping area very near to their house, and it was the only place Alfred could think to go. There was no other place to run. No other home he felt was acceptable, but he liked those camp grounds. And if Matthew was still following him, he'd keep going. He'd run straight through it, and into the woods. He'd never stop running, until he had escaped this pain. There was no coherent reason for him to be hurting this much, but that didn't stop it.

The images of those two together were flying around his eyes, increasing the pressure in his chest. It just wasn't fair. Why him? Why did it have to be Ivan? The vice closed in more until it felt like his heart had stopped beating, and the pain was unbearable. Before he even realized his surroundings, Alfred collapsed to his knees, in the wet muddied grass, his hand clutching his chest, and screamed. His head fell into the grass, choking on the bouncing water as he tried to catch his breath. The pain was intense to a point where it ricocheted through his body. All Alfred could find to focus on was the pain, and the rage at his twin's betrayal. How could he do this to him? Why did it have to be Ivan?

Slowly, he became aware of a hand resting against his back. "Alfred?"

Alfred's eyes drifted up to see that there was no rain coming over him anymore. He turned to see his twin kneeling next to him, holding an umbrella over them. Matthew was panting, and was also wet. The umbrella must have been a recent addition. Very possible it hindered his ability to run. "Please, come home."

You're kidding right? Not with him still there. No way was he ever going to go back to that house. Not with the uncertainty of how many times that monster was there.

"Just let me explain."

"EXPLAIN!?" Alfred snapped, spinning fully around. He shoved Matthew back, trying to get to his feet. "Explain what?" His feet skidded on the wet grass, but finally, he stumbled up. Once again the rain was falling over him, as Matthew stood back unsure. "You want to explain why you were with him?" He pointed off forcefully towards the house. "How you stabbed me in the back!"

"Alfred, it's not like that?"

"Then what is it, huh?" Alfred may have found his voice, but that didn't seem to dissipate the pain. Maybe if he kept yelling it would dwindle. "How can you possibly justify what you were doing? How can you even... with HIM!?"

"It just happened."

Alfred scoffed. "It just happened, BULLSHIT! Why would you even be with Ivan? You know how I feel about him."

Tears still in his eyes they narrowed, a frown crossing Matthew's face. "Well, I'm sorry Alfred, but I don't see how it's any of your business who I date."

"Of course it's my business!" He cried, spitting up water, advancing on Matthew. "You're my brother! I'm supposed to protect you. You shouldn't be with that monster."

"He's not a monster!" Matthew snapped back. His anger overshadowed any concern for his brother's pain. "You never took a chance to really know him. All you ever do is fight. If you would just give him a chance to-"

"THAT PSYCHOTIC BASTARD TRIED TO KILL ME!" Alfred shrieked, looming over his twin, now under the umbrella. He backed off a bit, seeing the fear spark in Matthew's tear stained eyes again. "On numerous occasions. I can't even begin to count." Alfred walked back, ticking off on his fingers. "He's tried to poison me. I have woken up to see him standing over me, with a knife." He growled, stepping back under the umbrella. "That son of a bitch buried me alive, just to test if I had the stamina to dig myself out. Now, does that really sound like the kind of person you should be dating, or do I have to keep going?"

Matthew stared at him, agape, his lips quivering for words. "You... you never."

"I know I never told you." Alfred groaned, spinning around, and threw his arms up. "I didn't think I had to." He spun back to Matthew. "I didn't want to frighten you with this. I figured you would be satisfied with just knowing how much I hated him. How much he hates me. How could you be with someone who hates your own brother like that." The sharp pain sparked in his chest again, and he suddenly became aware of how short of breath he was. "Mattie, how could you betray me?" Yelling must have helped, because everything finally clicked into place. His legs gave out again, and his knees splashed in the grass. "It was always you. Throughout everything I've been through, I always knew I could count on you to be there for me. You are the only one I can trust enough to be vulnerable." His hands and head dropped. He closed his eyes, his voice pitching higher, as Matthew inched closer.

"If I ever needed anything. Ever needed a shoulder to cry on, or even just a hand to hold, it was always you." Alfred gasped, unable to catch his breath. You were the only one I could trust to not take advantage of me, in my time of weakness. The only one I knew-" He glanced up, emphasizing the last word. "-would never betray me, and you were with HIM!" He sobbed, his head falling again. Matthew was standing over him now, a bit afraid to touch him. He knew Alfred was right. Almost anyone else, in the world, would see him crying as a chance to try and overtake him. The thought just never crossed his mind. Matthew knelt down, reaching a hand out for him

"If you're hiding this from me, who knows what else you're hiding?" He drew his arms around himself, his voice dropping lower. "I can't lose you, Canada."

Matthew drew his hand back, feeling his own pain spark further. He couldn't remember the last time his brother referred to him as his nation.

Alfred gasped for breath again, talking louder. "You're all I have. If I lose you, then what the FUCK DO I HAVE LEFT!?" He paused briefly, trying to squelch his desire to throw up. When he finally spoke again, his voice had dropped back down, drowned out by his own sobs. "What do I have, now?"

"Alfred?" Matthew whimpered, trying to keep his voice steady. "You're not going to lose me." He brushed a hand over his hair, making sure the umbrella was over him. "I'm still here. Nothing's going to change that." He tried to muster a smile, leaning down to kiss him on the top of the head.

Alfred took a stabilizing breath, glancing up at him, which knocked his hand away. "How can I trust you anymore?"

Matthew felt his heart drop. The pain in his twin's eyes, and the cold steady way he said that sent a chill through his body that had nothing to do with the rain. "Y-you can... I'm not-"

"Don't touch me!" He growled, smacking his hand away. Matthew shuddered again, at the look he was giving him. Alfred slid on a face that he never used with him. That mask that he always wore around everyone else to hide his pain. Even blocking the natural light in his bright blue eyes. The only difference was that he wasn't just laughing it off. His expression was dead-pan and cold. "I don't know what those hands have touched."

More tears trailed from Matthew's eyes, and as much as Alfred had been avoiding looking at him before, his gaze was just as intense. He was still crying, yes, but that didn't negate the increasing venom in his eyes. "How long were you with him?"

Matthew was caught off guard. "What?"

Alfred started to rise to his feet, looming over his little brother. "Well, obviously you never saw fit to tell me this."

"I-I knew you'd over-react." Matthew stood, clutching the umbrella in both hands. "I just-"

"Oh, so you knew I wouldn't approve, and you were sneaking around behind my back."

"No, I-"

"Trust is a two-way street, Canada." Alfred growled, advancing on him. "How can I trust you, if you won't even confront me with this?"

Matthew was shaking now, backing away. For the first time in years, legitimately afraid of his twin. "I didn't think-"

"If you knew I had a problem with it, then you talk to me. You find out WHY I have a problem. Not just assume it's some petty issue, and just brush it off. And even if it is! You should respect me enough to honor my wishes." His voice was cracking by now, but that didn't seem to stop him. "Yes, I'm protective, but I don't limit you. You could have been with anyone else, and I wouldn't care. ANYONE ELSE! But you go off and fuck the one person, in this entire world, that you know I hate. Why would you do that?" He ran the sentence down to his last breath, and had to stop and catch it, the pain sparking in his eyes again. "Why, Mattie?" He sobbed, his legs threatening to drop him back to the ground. "Why him?"

"Alfred, please." Matthew begged. "I never meant to hurt you."

Alfred scoffed, turning away. "Yea, sure. That's what they all say."

"No, listen." Matthew, ran forward, grabbing his arm, and was surprised when he didn't throw it off. "Yes, I should have told you, but I was scared you would react, just as you are now."

"Oh yea, and this is a much better way for me to find out." Alfred's arm tightened like he was going to pull out again, but he didn't. Perhaps Matthew was actually able to hold onto him, or he just didn't feel like it, either way, he was grateful.

"I didn't want you to find out this way." Matthew sobbed desperately, hoping for his twin to understand. "I was going to tell you, when I felt it was right. I just didn't know how to say it."

Alfred finally wrenched his arm free and spun around to him. "YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME!"

"I know. I know I should have told you, but I just-"

"And if you couldn't even tell me, then you wait until you get the balls to come out and say it."

Matthew felt his lips quivering in fear. "Well, yea, but-"

"How long?" Alfred growled, advancing on him again.

Matthew froze, at the sudden question. His mind reeled to try and find a date, but any thoughts were drowned out by the sudden increase in volume of the rain.

"How long were you with him?" His breath was shortened again, and he snorted, a near hysteric smile crossing his lips. "I'd like to at least think that you wouldn't be fucking him, unless you've been together a while." Alfred's brows furrowed, his eyes broadening psychotically. "Unless you're a whore!"

He emphasized the final word again, spitting it back into his brother's face. Matthew shuddered, his eyes widening. "Wha-what? No, I-"

"So, which is it, Mattie." He spat, looming over him again. "Are you a liar, or a whore?" Alfred growled at him, no longer caring how much his words hurt, and he shoved him away.

"Alfred." Matthew whimpered, dropping his umbrella. "Please, stop."

Alfred didn't even care how much he was scaring his little brother. He continued to advance on him, and growled, "If you want me to stop, then answer me. Liar or whore?" Matthew was too stunned to speak, trying to fish for the right words to satiate his brother's increasing rage at his continued silence. "Huh? Answer me, Canada." He shoved him back again, and Matthew stumbled. "LIAR OR WHORE!?" Not giving him any time to recover, Alfred shoved him harder, and Matthew fell onto the wet ground, with a loud splash, screaming, "LIAR!"

Alfred stood over him, panting. He had calmed down a bit, but was still shaking with rage. "What?"

"Liar." Matthew cried, too afraid to sit up fully, shielding his head, with his arms. "Ivan and I have been seeing each other for almost five months."

All the energy Alfred had left drained from him. "Five months, huh?" He sighed, and moved to pick up the umbrella. "That's great to know." Alfred closed the umbrella, and threw it down in front of Matthew, splashing him in the process. He cast one more glare to his brother, and started back up the road. "Don't follow me."

Matthew's hand was shaking, as he reached out for the umbrella. "Alfred?" His tears mingled with the rain splashing against his face. He spun around, wishing to push himself onto his feet, but found his legs didn't want to work. "Alfred, please. Don't leave me."

xXx

Ivan was standing by the window, watching the street for his lover's return. His hand ran along the lining of his scarf, feeling increasingly nervous with the more time passed. Had Matthew found Alfred? Whether he did or not, would he return? He especially didn't like the thought of him being out in this rain, that only seemed to be getting harder.

After far longer than he would have liked there was a figure shambling up the road, and on up to the house. Ivan immediately rushed to the door, and threw it open.

"Matvey?"

Matthew slumped through the door, not even having bothered to open the umbrella again. He looked absolutely miserable, his eyes puffy and red.

Ivan felt a twinge of guilt twisting in his stomach at how he had teased Alfred now. He liked to hurt him, and knew Matthew was his biggest button. However, he didn't stop to think about how this would reverberate back to his sweet Matthew. "Did you find him?"

Matthew nodded, and made his way into the center of the den. He had lost his voice somewhere after twentyish minutes of screaming for his brother to come back.

Ivan ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel. He threw it over Matthew's shoulders, trying to rub the chill from his arms, but it couldn't rid him of that sharp cold sting that permeated his body. "What happened?"

Matthew's jaw started quivering, at the memory, and soon he was crying again.

Instantly, Ivan drew him into his arms, tracing a hand through his damp hairs. "Shh, I'm sorry."

Matthew hicced, finding it difficult to breath. "He hates me, now. Alfred hates me. And he never wants to see me again."

"No." Ivan crooned, resting Matthew's head onto his shoulder. "He's just angry. He'll come around."

"No, Ivan." Matthew cried, pushing out of his grip. He turned his face up to him, tears still trailing over his cheeks. "You don't understand. I am the only one who hadn't betrayed him. Any bad things I'd ever done was Arthur's influence, but I proved I could be trusted. I proved that he could come to me with anything, and now I broke that." When he realized Ivan had moved back in, Matthew just backed away more. The reality of it settling in further. He was hurting, and seeking Ivan's arms. They had always sought each other, and Ivan was getting in the way of that. Suddenly, he had lost the last bit of his breath, and collapsed to his knees, a hand clutching his chest. His head was floating off, in his light-headed hyperventilation. Oh God... Alfred was gone. Sure he didn't have nearly as many enemies as his brother had. There were others to seek to shelter his anguish, but it'd never be the same. What had he done?

"Matvey?" Ivan cried, falling to his knees. His hands fell to Matthew's shoulders, trying to bring him back. "Matvey, are you still with me?"

"Alfred." Matthew croaked, dropping his face in his hands. "I'd take it all back, if I could."

"No, Matvey." Ivan shook him again, to try and get him to look up at him. "Don't do that to yourself." He took Matthew's chin to finally turn him up to look at him "All you've done is pursue a relationship." Before he had even finished the sentence, Matthew was already shaking his head. "There is nothing wrong with falling in love, and your brother has to come to terms with that."

"No. I should have told him."

"It's none of his business who you date."

"You don't understand." Canada pleaded. Why could nobody comprehend his side of things? "Alfred has every right to be angry. I messed up. I should have told him. He's gone, and he could be anywhere."

"He'll be back." Ivan reassured him. "There's no way Jones will be gone forever."

Matthew drew away again, clutching his arms around himself, shaking his head so that the damp hairs fell over his face. "But he won't ever be mine, again." He sobbed, doubling over with the pain in his stomach. "He's never going to trust me again. He's gone. I lost him." Matthew started muttering, rocking on his heels, his head falling to let the tears slip off the end of his nose.

"Matvey." Ivan crooned, trying to tone down his annoyance at his rival enough to coddle to his distraught lover. He drew him back into his arms, noting that Matthew was too lost in his own thoughts to really notice this. Ivan proceeded to rock Matthew, tracing his fingers through his hair. He was silent for a while, trying to find the right words to explain how Alfred always blew things out of proportion. How he'd always been eccentric, and this time would be no different. Every time he opened his mouth to speak, however, he could already hear Matthew's counter, and closed it again. Before he could find the words, however, Matthew pushed away from him, and dried his eyes.

"Matvey?"

Matthew turned his gaze up to him, the pain masking a small hint of anger, though it didn't come through, in his voice. "Did you really try to kill him?"

Ivan's eyes grew wide at the statement. It seemed such an odd question. "Well... in war times, it happens. He's tried to kill me plenty of-"

"I'm not talking about in a God damn war!" Matthew snapped, his mind flashing back to any circumstances where these times may have occurred. "Did you really bury him alive?" Was the first one to pop to his mind. He was shaking, remembering times when he would be watching a show with Alfred, and just the way he tensed up when something like that happened. Considering Alfred enjoyed murder type shows, this seemed to be a common occurrence. How his twin would slide closer to him, his already predominant claustrophobia seemingly heightened. That odd laughter he gave, suddenly sounding far more nervous in his memory. Even the way he'd said, 'Dude, that would suck.' now seemed to hold a tinge of fear. He closed his eyes, freeing tears from them. "Ivan, please tell me you didn't."

Ivan was quiet for far longer than he would have liked, then Matthew spoke up again. "Get out."

"Matvey, you have to understand, this was a long time ago." Ivan tried to reach for him again, but Matthew smacked him away. "I said, get out. I need to sort some things out."

"Things are different now." Ivan protested, even though he had started to stand, apparently hoping Matthew would come up with him. "I don't want him dead." he forced a weak smile. "I just like to mess with him. It's nothing dangerous."

Matthew stood, but he planted his hands on Ivan's chest and shoved him away, as hard as he could. "I SAID, GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE!"

##

AN: This is just another one of those situations where I just had this horrific dream that I had to get out of my head just to relieve how much it'd scared me. It's kinda a 2 1/4 shot. Because Russia. I've also realized that it doesn't help that my dreams narrate themselves. It's kinda like the narration's being read, and i visualize it like I do while I'm reading. In case anyone's wondering why this scared me it's because I'm the America, in my group, and I tend to get in his head for a lot of things. So when I woke up from this, I was crying, and shaking, and generally not very happy.