Ivan alternated pacing his floor, and slouching on the various seats in his home. His hands curled and pulled at the edges of his scarf. Was he nervous? Of course. When he got home, he tried to call his lover, but it was constantly busy. When he finally got through to him, Matthew had snapped. Saying he was looking for Alfred, and needed to keep the line open. That he would call him later... that was yesterday, and Ivan's paranoia continued to increase. Ivan never felt he had a good home life, and would admit he was jealous that Alfred and Matthew got along so well, when he never had that kind of relationship with his own sisters. Everyone always saw him as some kind of monster, just lying in the shadows. Waiting for him to pounce, and devour them all. Where as some of that were true, it was still very lonely to not have friends.

It wasn't like that, with Matthew.

Sure, he was a bit nervous around him, at first, but he loosened up very soon. All of those things that everyone else saw as cynical or creeper, Matthew just seemed to think was cute. He was finally happy to have someone like that loving him... but there was always the underlying fear that it would end, based on one simple fact.

Matthew loved Alfred.

Not just as a brother, or a friend, but there was always a desire that it would be more. Everyone knew this, possibly even Alfred, but he never showed any real interest in pursuing a relationship. Although, less well known, was actually the alternative. Something less people knew, and quite possibly, the loud-mouthed American failed to see it as well. That possessiveness, and clinging, just masked the fact that he loved him back. As much as Matthew seemed to love Ivan, he always knew that Alfred came first. Which is one of the reasons why he persuaded Matthew to keep this a secret. He knew, that if Alfred found out, this would push that protectiveness over the edge. Knew this might trigger him to realize his true feelings. That look of shock and pain wasn't enough to block that out. He had even made sure Matthew said that he loved him, but that didn't work. He still went after him. It wasn't fair. Who knew where they were now, or even what was happening. Did Matthew really find him? Were they talking? Were they doing more?

Ivan felt more than anyone that fear of what was to come. He knew, all too well, the day Alfred finally realized how much he loved Matthew... he would lose him.

##

AN: Yea, I feel kinda bad for Russia. I don't really like him, all that much, but I'd like to think he has legit reasons for being a jerk.