Allie: I have no idea what I'm doing.

Disclaimer: I'm just playing with them, I don't own anything.

The First and the Last Time

The first time Bucky and Steve slept together was right after Steve's first failed attempt to join the army. Bucky came home to find Steve curled up on the couch and drawing, a crestfallen look on his face. "Are you okay, Steve?" Bucky asked gently.

"They denied me." Steve mumbled, not looking up from his drawing, "Because I'm too small…and my health problems, the asthma mostly."

"Well what did you expect Steve?" Bucky sighed, "Just because you want to go to war doesn't mean you can go to war."

Steve looked up and glared at Bucky but bit his tongue against saying something.

Bucky grinned a little and walked over, "So what are you drawing?" He asked, looking down at the sketch pad.

"Me." Steve said with a shrug. The drawing was of Steve in military uniform but the clothes were too large for the figure on the page and hanging off his skinny limbs. There was a shadow behind the figure that was much larger and muscled with the uniform clinging to him. Bucky frowned.

"Steve…" He said.

Steve shut the book and tossed it onto the coffee table and sat up, hugging his knees to his chest. "I just want to do as much as dad did Bucky, as much as mom did, as much as you're going to get to do." He said, looking up at Bucky with pain in his eyes and Bucky sat down next to him on the couch.

"I know you do but you just physically can't." Bucky said sweetly, "But you can always get a job here, supporting the war." He looked over his small friend. Steve stared at the floor, looking quite helpless and small next to him. Bucky placed his fingers beneath Steve's chin and lifted his head up, forcing the smaller male to look at him. "Don't look so sad."

Steve dropped his eyes down, a bit of a flush on his cheeks, "Bucky…" He mumbled.

Bucky just couldn't help himself. Steve just looked so tiny and fragile and oh so sad. He tilted his head down and trapped Steve's lips beneath his own. Steve's body went tense beside him then slowly relaxed, his lips moving back against Bucky's hesitantly. Bucky could feel the heat of Steve's flush against his face and the small blonde's slim artist fingers sliding up around his neck. The rest was pretty much a haze after that as the kisses became more heated and harder until they were shedding their clothes and pressing desperately together. It ended with Bucky taking Steve on his lap, holding him close as they both came with gasps of each other's names.

Afterward Bucky managed to carry them to the bedroom, laying Steve on the bed before crawling beside him and holding him close. Steve curled close to Bucky's chest and wrapped a leg around the larger male's hip. Bucky stroked his back gently and kissed Steve on the top of his head, holding him tight against his chest.

"Bucky," Steve finally said a while later.

Bucky hummed in response, his eyes closed.

"Does this- I mean…what are we now?" Steve asked timidly.

Bucky sighed and looked down at the slight blonde in his arms. Steve wasn't looking at him but rather at the wall. "We're friends Steve…in public…you know we can't-"

"I know." Steve said, "I know…I just-"

"Just let it happen Steve," Bucky replied, stroking a hand along the underside of Steve's thigh, "Just let us be us. We not be able to act like this in public but we can at least have each other when we're home."

Steve nodded, "Yeah…yeah…" He muttered.

For now, that would be enough.

xoxo

There was fire and explosions. Bucky had made it across the beam before it collapsed but Steve was still stuck on the other side.

"Just go!" Steve cried, "Get out of here!"

And Bucky could still see Steve, that skinny little artist from Brooklyn that he had shared a bed and apartment with for years. He wasn't seeing Captain America or what the serum made Steve into; he was seeing his lover, his best friend, that boy that wouldn't back down from a fight. "No, not without you!" Bucky called back.

I love you. I won't go anywhere without you. Bucky thought and then Steve was jumping across the gap, straight for him. I won't leave without you.

xoxo

Bucky gasped as he was pinned against a tree. Steve was bigger now, taller and muscular…but he was still Steve. "God Steve." He whispered, dragging his fingers through the roughened blonde hair.

"I thought I had lost you." Steve mumbled against his throat, his voice tight from holding back tears, "I thought they had killed you."

"They can't take me that easily from you Steve." Bucky replied, wrapping his arms around the other man's shoulders. "I promise."

Steve nodded against his shoulder and wrapped his arms around the other male's waist, "Bucky I lov-"

"Shh, it's okay. I know." He said, holding the super soldier.

Steve looked up and looked around for a moment, "We're alone." He said before kissing Bucky hard, clinging to him tightly.

Bucky groaned low in his throat and kissed back, sliding his tongue into Steve's mouth, sliding against the Captain's tongue and along the roof of his mouth. Steve shuddered and leaned into him harder. Bucky let out a puff of air into Steve's mouth in discomfort. Steve mumbled a quick "sorry" against his lips before flipping them, allowing Bucky to press him into the tree.

Bucky's hand gripped Steve's hip tightly, pressing flush against him. Steve hummed lightly into Bucky's mouth, unbuttoning Bucky's pants. "We're going to have to be quick." Bucky said, "They'll be looking for you soon."

Steve nodded and slid a hand into Bucky's pants, his rough and calloused grip stroking the other's arousal. Bucky groaned deep in his throat and his hands fumbled with Steve's pants, quickly unbuttoning them and sliding them down around his ankles. "Turn around." Bucky said in a gruff voice, his eyes dilated and lust blown.

Steve whimpered lightly and turned quickly, bracing his hands against the tree, "Hurry Bucky." He gasped.

Bucky grinned and dropped down to his knees, pushing apart Steve's cheeks revealing his entrance. Steve blushed. "We don't have any lube; spit's going to have to do." Bucky said softly before leaning in and licking a long stripe up from right behind Steve's balls up to the top of his crack. Steve pressed his forehead against the tree, panting, pushing his hips back toward Bucky. Bucky pressed his tongue against Steve's hole, pressing against the ring of muscle. Wet slurping and sucking sounds filled the air as Bucky rimmed the super soldier, fucking his hole with his tongue before sliding in a finger and crooking it to find the blonde's prostate.

Steve gasped and bucked his hips, "Fuck Bucky, hurry up." He gasped.

Bucky grinned and pulled back, sliding a second finger in to stretch the other male more before adding a third at Steve's urging. Bucky pulled his fingers out and stood, pressing himself close to Steve, kissing and nipping at the back of his neck.

"I swear to God Bucky, if you don't hurry up I will end you." Steve growled, looking back over his shoulder to glare at the other soldier.

Bucky smirked, pressing his cock against Steve's entrance, sliding in with one swift push. Steve gasped and closed his eyes. Bucky set forth a brutal rhythm, striking the blonde's prostate with each unrelenting stroke. Steve bit down on his lips hard, trying to keep his noises to a minimal, pushing back against Bucky as best he could. The super soldier slid his fingers down to his own arousal, stroking himself in time with Bucky's thrusts, panting against his arm that was keeping him braced against the tree. Bucky dug his fingers into Steve's hips, intent to leave bruises, slamming himself in with an intensity that surprised even himself.

Steve came first with a groan, his cum splattering the tree in front of him. Bucky came with a curse just two thrusts later, biting down on Steve's shoulder, coming hard inside Steve. Bucky pulled out a few moments later, tucking himself back into his pants and fixing himself before doing his best to help Steve clean up before pulling Steve's pants back up and making the Captain presentable again.

Steve kissed Bucky hard, hanging on to him for a few moments later before someone called out for Steve and the two had to part. Bucky sighed and ran a hand through Steve's hair for a second, "You need to go." He said.

Steve nodded and kissed Bucky once more chastely, "I'll see you later." He said with a smile and Bucky just couldn't help but smile back.

xoxo

"Bucky!" Steve screamed, leaning out the blown out side of the train, reaching for Bucky.

The wind was blasting against them, cold and unrelenting. Bucky could feel the iron he was hanging onto slipping. This is it. He thought with tears in his eyes. "Steve!"

"I've got you!" Steve called desperately, reaching for his hand.

Inches away from touching the rod snapped and Bucky let out a yell as he fell. I never even got to tell him I loved him.

"Bucky!" He could hear the desperate call from high above.

The wind whipped around him, echoing in his ears.

The snow and ice bit at him.

All he could think about was Steve.

There was an initial crack of pain.

And then it went black.

xoxo

Steve clung to the side of the train, his tears freezing to his cheeks, "Bucky I love you." He whispered.