"I'm telling you, 'calagon, Eru had Yavanna on his mind when he created you. He probably just got temporarily distracted when He made you male. You were supposed to be female."

Morgoth had finally hit upon something to relieve the awful boredom of the Void: taunting his dragons. Well, Ancalagon. Glaurung was still hiding away from the Vala. Probably pouting that he had been killed by Fingolfin, Morgoth decided.

"Well, I could still take both you *and* Glaurung even if I were–which I'm not–mister I-got-myself-kneed-in-the-groin-by-a-mortal-woman," Ancalagon snarled back.

"I did not get defeated by a woman!" Glaurung finally spoke up from where he had been lurking. "I was defeated by Fingolfin, thankyouverymuch. Since even you, Morgoth, had a bit of trouble with him, I don't see any shame in that, mister I-got-myself-shot-down-by-Finarfin."

"Don't take that tone with me! Don't forget, *I* outrank you!"

"Not anymore," Morgoth growled. "I agree with Glaurung: the fact you were defeated by Finarfin is simply disgraceful."

"Does that mean I am again your lead dragon?" Glaurung asked hopefully. Morgoth glared at him.

"No," he replied. "I'm putting Gothmog over you both. Even if he was killed by an Elf, he still did better than the two of you! Actually, Sauron was the best lieutenant I ever had, he even managed to continue on after I was thrown here…Speaking of him, where is he?"

The others all fell silent and shuffled uncomfortably.

"You won't like it if you don't tell me," Morgoth snapped.

"Pippin," Gothmog finally said, voice barely above a whisper.

"What about that evil little ratling?" Morgoth asked, not certain he wanted to know the answer.

"Sauron tried to take him out, but ended up trapped in close proximity to Pippin and his singing," Gothmog said reluctantly. "The Valar didn't have the heart to sentence him to the Void. He was catatonic, last I heard."

Everyone who had the misfortune of being too close to Pippin's musical abilities shuddered.

"Perhaps the Void isn't so bad," Morgoth mused.

"I could start singing," Ancalagon offered, an evil glint in his eye.

So, just for reference, this is the full list of all the stories in the Edge of Darkness crack!series:

Love on the Edge of Darkness (mine)

Everlasting Pain on the Edge of Darkness (Duilin's)

Unusual Threats on the Edge of Darkness (mine)

Rusted Spoons on the Edge of Darkness (Duilin's)

Singing on the Edge of Darkness (mine)

Unexpected Talents on the Edge of Darkness (mine)

Ultimate Torture on the Edge of Darkness (Galad Estel's)

Tipping Over the Edge of Darkness (Duilin's)

and now:

Ultimate Fates after the Edge of Darkness (mine)