He's asleep.

I guess he ate one too many burgers, because he's sleeping now. He's really cute when he's like this though. His glasses are askew...I reach over to fix them, and he smiles lightly in his sleep. I hear him mumble something, but I don't catch it. The train rumbles on steadily, and I turn to look out the window, watching the scenery rush past us.

Sometimes I wonder about him. I wonder why, despite all of these challenges, he chose me. It's clear to both of us how difficult it is to keep up this relationship - we're not supposed to really be together. Our bosses...but...

The snack cart comes by, and a hostess is about to knock on the door when I point to Alfred, putting a finger to my lips. She smiles and nods, gesturing to the food with a questioning look in her eyes. I nod, standing slowly and stepping out of the private compartment. For myself, I buy a small lemonade. For Alfred, a Twinkie. I know how he loves his Twinkies...

I step back inside, pulling out the dining tray and setting it down there as a surprise for him when he wakes up. I can't help but stare at him when he's like this...it's easier to look at him when I know he's not looking at me, too. I feel like he's too good for me, too perfect. But maybe it's just because I love him so much. That's probably it...

I smile as he gives a small snort in his sleep - I can't help but wonder what he's dreaming about. Probably food. I try not to laugh at that; many of the dreams he has are that way. He'll talk to me in the morning about them over coffee, chattering excitedly about how Louis the Chocolate Bunny took him to the Land of Milkshakes, or something silly like that...I love him for that. For his complete and utter love of life. He lives in the moment.

Sometimes I don't, and that's upsetting to me.

I think about my past a bit more than I'd like.

But...when I'm with Alfred, it doesn't matter. When I'm with Alfred, I feel like I could live in the Land of Milkshakes with Louis the Chocolate Bunny and eat ice cream parfaits and jellybeans and all of those other foods that I know he loves so much.

The train continues to rumble loudly, and I almost don't catch it when Alfred mumbles my name.

"Toris..."

I look away from the window, smiling at him and taking his hand shyly. "Yeah?"

"...love you..." he mumbles tiredly. Even that simple phrase gets me blushing, and I stare at him for a few moments, finally smiling as his head rolls off of his shoulder.

"I love you too, Al..." I whisper softly. His eyes flutter open, and he smiles at me for a moment...before spotting the Twinkie on the dining tray.

"Sweet, a Twinkie!" he grins as he rips the wrapper open, tearing into the soft cake with his teeth. He chews happily for a few moments before looking at me. "Toris, did you get this for me?"

I nod hesitantly. He smiled broadly.

"Toris, you're the best!" he says, pulling me into his arms. And I smile again as the train rumbles on, content to rest in my boyfriend's arms