*~* Epilogue *~*

Five years had passed since that night on the bridge. Blaine had taken him out for coffee the day after, firmly insisting on paying for them both as he had technically been the one asking Kurt out, and they had been dating ever since. For better and for worse.

Two years ago they had been going through a particularly rough patch, during which Blaine almost slept with another guy. He and Kurt had been fighting all night, and Blaine had tried to storm out when Kurt had screamed at him that if he left the apartment, they would be over forever. Blaine had left nonetheless, and Kurt had fallen to the floor in a sobbing wreck. Blaine had gone out to the closest bar and gotten so drunk he couldn't see straight, and then this guy had approached him and asked if he wanted to come back to his apartment. Blaine had drunkenly agreed, thinking if he and Kurt were over anyway, he might as well start getting over him right away.

But as soon as the guy put his hand on Blaine's hip and pressed their lips together, Blaine had pushed him away. Having someone other than Kurt kissing him made him want to throw up, which is just what he did – all over the poor guy's shoes.

That was the end of his only almost-hook up, and he had passed out in a bathroom stall at that very bar. The bartender had searched his phone and found Kurt's number under the label "baby" - Blaine had a habit of changing Kurt's name into various pet names in his phone. Baby was one of the more sane ones. A small selection from his huge nickname archive were "snookums", "angel muffin" and "my super cutie". Kurt had a hard time going about his every day life knowing that every time Blaine picked up his phone to call or text him, he would open the contact labelled something completely and utterly ridiculous. Most recently he had been named "snuggles", but Kurt had pleaded for him to at least change it into "baby". Baby he could work with.

And it was lucky, he thought, because he wasn't sure the bartender had dared called the number labelled "snuggles".

And no matter how upset Kurt was with him at the time, and how much he would have liked to just leave Blaine in that stall to deal with the consequences of his actions, he still picked him up and took him home safely to their apartment and tucked him into bed. Blaine sobered up enough to try and apologize, drunkenly slurred words spilling out of his mouth in sync with the tears running down his cheeks, and his eyes were shining so brightly and sincerely Kurt couldn't help but accept his apology. That was the worst hit their relationship had endured so far, and it took a while for Kurt to get over the fact that Blaine had kissed another guy, but in the end, they just came out stronger at the other side.

And now another few years had gone by, with a lot of ups and downs, and they were still together.

For now, at least.

They had had another fight, on this very night, and this had been a big one. It was stupid, Kurt knew that, but he hadn't been able to control himself. He had actually stormed out of the house, not much unlike how Blaine had left him that night he almost slept with another guy. Blaine had told him to stay, begged even, but Kurt hadn't listened. He just left.

He knew Blaine was probably scared and confused right now, and it hurt to think about it, but he couldn't go back. He needed some time alone.

Blaine was just so damn ignorant sometimes, and he completely ignored everything Kurt was saying because he had this fantasy of how things were supposed to be and if they weren't actually like that, well, he would just pretend they were.

Kurt was a realist, and Blaine was a dreamer. Sometimes he didn't understand why they had fallen in love in the first place. They were just so different in so many aspects.

Kurt liked to plan things, and Blaine did things on impulse. Kurt wanted to keep their apartment as clean as possibly, and Blaine had the in-grown habit of leaving dirty dishes and piles of clothes all over the place without even realizing it. It was the small things that sent Kurt over the edge, and it wasn't uncommon for them to storm out on each other.

But they always went looking for each other. They always found their way back.

This time, however, Kurt wasn't so sure they would.

They were living in New York since a few years back, but because of recent events, they were back in Lima for a few weeks. They were staying at the Hummel-Hudsons, of course, and they had all been witnesses to their fight earlier. Carole had tried to calm him, but Kurt wouldn't hear it. He ran instead.

It was what he did, after all. It was in his blood to run and flee from the tougher situations. And Blaine was like that, too. So whenever one of them fled, the other always came looking for them.

But this time, Blaine wasn't going to come. Kurt could feel it, in the way his skin was itching uncomfortably, his heart beating irrationally fast and his heartbeat throbbing in his ears.

Being back in Ohio again, he had gone straight to the place where it had all began; the bridge.

He roughly estimated the time to be around 11pm, and the moon was shining just as brightly tonight as it had been exactly five years ago.

Yes, that may have been why he had been so terribly upset when Blaine had dropped that stupid suggestion of his on him an hour ago.

Tonight was the five year anniversary for the night he almost ended his life, and simultaneously the five year anniversary for his and Blaine's first kiss. He wanted to mourn it in peace, but Blaine had instead chosen this of all days to bring up one of the stupidest ideas his pretty head had ever come up with.

Kurt, being overly sensitive, had exploded. He had been on edge all day, even through the nice little dinner Carole cooked for them to celebrate upcoming events, and Blaine's idiotic suggestion had finally made him snap.

It had been over the late-night snack consisting of cheesecake that Kurt had made earlier in the evening. Blaine had suggested his furiously dumb idea so casually, like it was not a big deal. He had been cutting into his cheesecake and not even looked Kurt in the eye as he said it.

Kurt's hand had frozen on its way to his mouth. His fork had dropped down onto the platter with a loud clink, splattering cheesecake and raspberries over the tablecloth, and the entire family had jumped in their seats. He had yelled and been awfully loud and obnoxious. He had said some hurtful things, especially to Blaine, and Carole had pleaded for him to calm down and insisted that he didn't mean what he was saying.

None of them knew why he was so upset. All they knew was that five years ago, he had met Blaine.

They didn't know that this night was the embodiment of all the pain and fear and hurt he had felt growing up. This very night, all those years back, had been supposed to be his last one on earth, and then Blaine had showed up and changed all that.

It was emotional, even after five years, and he was bound to have a small break down.

It terrified him to think about how he almost died that night, and tonight that terror was stronger than everything else. It was eating him alive, clawing at his insidesi9o and burning holes in his skin.

He didn't want to sit through a, although very nice, dinner with his family, making small talk and pretending to be happy when really, he was dying inside. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball, cry and revel in the painful memories.

It was stupid, he supposed. He was happy now. He had Blaine and they had their whole future ahead of them.

He could actually say it without lying now – he was happy.

But tonight just brought back all those things he had felt when he had been standing on the edge of that bridge, and it felt like he had been transported right back into that time of his life. Those old feelings hit him like a brick, new and raw and fresh, and it was as if the happiness Blaine had brought into his life had never existed.

Maybe it was stupid to dwell on it, and not just let it all go, but maybe it was also exactly what he needed. Maybe it was healthy to have this one night every year where he could cry freely, and let the same fear and pain that had tortured him five years ago rage through him once again, only to let it go once the morning came.

He felt horrible for lashing out at Blaine, though. He was the one who had saved his life, and he was the very last person he should scream at without reason.

Had it been any other day Kurt would have calmly explained to his silly boyfriend that he was being unrealistic and once again stuck in that rainbow-colored happy world of his. It was a nice place to be, yes, but eventually he had to get back to reality, and Blaine wasn't very keen on doing that.

Because it wasn't Blaine's fault that Kurt got so upset, not at all. He was upset either way, and Blaine just accidentally triggered that unhappiness to explode. It was not his fault, and Kurt hated himself for blaming this on him.

But no matter how upset they were with each other, they always came looking for each other.

Only now he had been out for an hour, and Blaine still hadn't found him. And Kurt knew that he wasn't trying to find him, either.

It was stupid of him to assume that Blaine would come looking for him every time he ran away.

He told himself that he wanted Blaine to stay away tonight, but he knew in his heart that the last thing he wanted was to deal with this pain alone. He wanted Blaine's shoulder to cry on, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Blaine what had almost happened that night they met, and if he couldn't do that, then he couldn't be with Blaine right now.

His heart was aching even more when he realized that Blaine really wasn't coming for him. He truly was alone.

Blaine was giving Kurt his space, the space he had claimed to need during his outburst earlier.

It was the last thing he needed right now.

The whole world was quiet and dim, and the only thing to be heard was his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

He was standing with his elbows supported on the rail of his bridge, gazing out over the river and the moonlight reflected in the water. It was a beautiful, starless night with nothing but the moon lighting up the pitch-black night sky.

It was somewhat calming, being back here again. He hadn't been for a long time, since he for obvious reasons avoided thinking about the last time he had been here. But tonight he needed to be here.

He didn't feel like jumping, of course not. He was happy now – perhaps not right in this moment, but over all. He didn't want to die anymore.

He had his earphones in, and they were effectively blocking out all the sounds in the world except for Patrick Wolf's voice, singing about flowers in the river and you'll be missed.

Just as the song got to the line that hurt the most – so life has blessed you with a gift, boy, that you have gone and thrown away, and with it your whole future and left behind your family – there was a sudden itch on the back of his neck that made him tune out the song instead.

He snatched the earphones out of his ears, and as he had expected–

"Hi. Sorry if I'm bothering you–"

The voice came from behind Kurt's back, but he didn't need to turn around to know exactly who he was. The words rang through the air just as beautifully as it had five years ago.

He didn't turn around, determined not to show himself weak.

Seeing Kurt wasn't going to answer, Blaine stepped forward and leaned against the rail next to him, his back pressed uncomfortably into the cold steel. He studied Kurt's features for a few moments, all the way from his puffy red eyes, the tear-streaks down his cheeks, his teeth digging into the soft flesh of his bottom lip and the way his adam's apple bobbed slightly when he swallowed.

"Kurt", he mumbled. "I'm sorry. I should have known it wasn't an option–"

"It's not that", Kurt mumbled, still not looking at him but rather down at the water flowing beneath them. "It's just– tonight. It's been five years."

Blaine reached out to grab his hand. "I know. I know."

Kurt finally turned to look at him, and his eyes were swimming with tears. His throat was choked up, and he drew a shaky breath. On the exhale, he said, "I just really hate this day."

Blaine knew he wasn't talking about their part of the night, but rather the part before, so he wasn't offended in the least. "I know, baby."

Kurt nodded slowly. Then he laughed joylessly. "I must seem crazy to you. You must have no idea what I'm talking about."

Blaine shifted a little next to him, and Kurt glanced over at him to see a cloud of smoke drift up into the air as he breathed out into the cold winter air.

"I do know, Kurt", Blaine said after a while, shuffling a little closer to him to try and keep them warm. Blaine had been in such a rush to go after Kurt, he had only grabbed the thing closest to him on his way out, which unfortunately was Carole's old spring coat. It fit somewhat nicely but did nothing against the cold, and now he found himself fighting against his rattling teeth. "I– I know what you were doing out here that night."

"You do?", Kurt asked, biting his lip uncertainly. Blaine could see the fear in his eyes, and having known his boyfriend for five years, he knew all the thoughts running through his mind. He was afraid that Blaine would leave him now that his biggest secret was to be officially revealed. To prove him wrong, Blaine moved closer instead.

Kurt eyed him carefully. "What exactly do you know?"

Blaine reached up to tuck a strand of hair away from Kurt's forehead. "That you were here to jump."

Kurt's body jerked away from the touch, but Blaine held him in place with a hand on his hip.

He wasn't going to let him run away again. Not tonight.

"It's okay", he said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. We're okay."

Kurt stood as far away as he possibly could with Blaine still holding onto him, his eyes guarded and calculating against Blaine's soft ones.

They stood like that for a while, the tension between them almost electric. Blaine's gaze was leveled and calm, whilst Kurt felt panic creeping up along his spine.

Blaine knew. He knew. All he wanted to do was run, but he couldn't.

He finally admitted defeat, and slouched his shoulders with a sigh. "How long have you known?"

"Ever since I saw you about to climb onto the rail", Blaine whispered, eyes flickering between Kurt and the rail behind him. His voice was pained, and Kurt hated seeing him in pain. He reached out to brush their lips together in an affectionate peck.

"I'm sorry", Kurt whispered. "For everything. For tonight and all those horrible things I said, and for scaring you that night–"

Blaine just shook his head, smiling sadly. "Don't apologize. It's in the past. Sometimes I just– what if I hadn't been there? What if you had actually–"

He couldn't even say it out loud. The thought was too horrible for him to process it. His voice cracked and he pressed his lips together to keep from crying.

Kurt nodded, shifting his feet a little on the iced-over ground. He was suddenly very interested in a rock lying at his feet, careful not to look up at Blaine's worried face. It would kill him to see the pain lingering in those hazel orbs. "I know. That's why I hate this night. I hate that that is ruining the memory of our first meeting and our first kiss."

Blaine cocked his head to the side, trying to encourage Kurt to raise his chin and look at him. "Is that why you ran away now? Because it hurts too much?"

Kurt nodded slowly. "Yes." He shot Blaine a pointed look, falling back to the go-to protection that was his sarcasm, and added, "But also because you have the planning skill and foresight of a naive five-year-old."

Blaine smiled softly. "I know. That's why I have you though. You keep me on the ground."

Kurt sighed, and leaned into Blaine's touch. He wasn't mad at him, not really, and he was sick of pretending to be. He just wanted to be held through this horrible night, and why push Blaine away if he wanted to comfort him?

Blaine read him so well, and he saw the little signs of Kurt's surrender. He quickly opened up his arms so Kurt could wrap his arms around him and rest his head against Blaine's shoulder.

"I really shouldn't have suggested that, though", Blaine said after a while. "Especially not tonight."

Kurt sighed. "It was not your brightest moment, I'll be the first to admit that, but you shouldn't feel bad about it. It's not really why I'm upset."

Blaine smiled faintly against his hair. They stayed like that for a while, until Kurt realized something and gently pushed himself off Blaine so he could look him in the eye.

"You never told me what you were doing out so late that night", he said, arching an eyebrow. "And don't tell me you just went for a walk. It was too far from your house."

Blaine's eyes suddenly lost their spark, and Kurt could feel him shaking, and he instantly knew it had nothing to do with the cold.

"Blaine?", he repeated softly, cupping his chin gently.

Blaine exhaled shakily, and looked down at his feet. "I, um– I'm not sure you would like to hear it."

"Honey, you're scaring me", Kurt said, stepping a little closer again, their noses almost brushing against each other.

"Well, um, to be honest–" Blaine glanced at him, and a sad smile grazed his lips. "I was there to jump, too."

The air was completely blown out of Kurt. He actually forgot how to breathe, and it wasn't until Blaine pressed his hand against Kurt's chest and whispered a firm mantra of "inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale" that he managed to draw in a long, shaky breath into his ragged throat.

"You– you–"

Kurt couldn't speak. He couldn't think, or breathe, or exist. Had Blaine lived by his side all these years feeling this terrified, knowing that the man he loved most of all had been so close to death? He felt like he couldn't take it for another second, and Blaine had put up with this horrible pain for five years.

"But you seemed so put together", Kurt finally blurted out after several minutes of strained silence.

Blaine actually laughed. "We've been together for five years, Kurt, are you telling me you haven't realized that one of my greatest strengths is putting on a brave face when things are at its worst? I was dying inside, but then I saw you and, being there to jump myself, I saw the little signs. And I just couldn't let you go through with it, knowing I could have saved you, so I pretended to be this guy filled with sunshine and rainbows so that you would at least put it off for another day." He smiled faintly, and leaned in a little to nuzzle his nose against Kurt's. "Little did I know it was the love of my life I was saving."

Kurt didn't realize he was crying until he automatically reached up to brush away the tears from clouding his sight. Not only had Blaine saved him – they had saved each other.

He saw things so much clearer now. Small fractions of things Blaine had told him over the years finally fit into the puzzle that was Blaine Anderson.

He should have realized Blaine had been suicidal too. There had been signs, but he had failed to see them. He had been too busy with his own pain to see Blaine's.

He pulled Blaine in for a kiss searing with pain and utter, complete gratefulness.

"I love you so, so much", he whispered against his lips, unwilling to ever let him go again.

"I love you too", Blaine replied, peppering his mouth with small, featherlight kisses. "Let's go home, okay? We'll freeze to death out here." He slid his hand down to twine his fingers together with Kurt's.

He slowly rubbed his finger against a thin and simple, yet perfectly gorgeous, golden ring that he a few months ago had slid onto Kurt's finger. He hadn't taken it off ever since, and the identical ring grazing Blaine's finger had never left his skin either.

"We have a wedding to plan, after all", Blaine said, smiling over at his soon-to-be husband.

Kurt smiled too, and leaned in for another kiss. They were back in Ohio, but he couldn't bring himself to be afraid.

They were going to be okay, no matter what.

They were Kurt and Blaine.

Blaine and Kurt.

They always found their way back.

"We do", he said, laughing softly. "But so help me god, Blaine, if you try talking me into planning our wedding in two weeks again, I will leave you at the altar."

Blaine grinned widely. "I know. We'll reschedule to June, and then we'll have plenty of time to make it perfect."

"Of course it will be perfect", Kurt beamed. "I will be designing for us both, so it is impossible for it to be anything but impeccable."

"Would it make you run away with the best man if I wore a bowtie?", Blaine asked innocently.

"Considering my best man will be Finn, it would take a whole lot for me to elope anywhere with him", Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "But lucky for you, I think you are adorable in bowties, and I have already made you a very special bowtie to wear for the occasion."

Blaine threw his arms around his neck and almost made them fall over with the force of the embrace. "I love you so much."

Kurt laughed softly. Every trace of their so-called fight was blown away by the force of the happiness they both felt at their upcoming wedding.

Their valid, completely legal same-sex wedding in New York City.

What did it matter how badly things could have ended that night five years ago, when they hadn't?

They hadn't jumped. They hadn't ended up at the bottom of that river, bodies cold and lifeless.

They had found each other, in the complete darkness that had surrounded them at the time, and they had lit a fire of hope in the other's seemingly hopeless life.

In a few short months they would trade the title of boyfriends for husbands, and they would forevermore be known as Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson – or Anderson-Hummel. They hadn't quite decided on the formalities of it all yet. It didn't matter, either way.

They had each other, and they would never, ever be alone again.

This is where I live now and I have overcome my demons

And I have grown out of that thinking

That would not let me live

Or give

And the poem reads

And I remember the day you told me

The sun

The sun

The sun

The sun is often out

A/N: I'm kind of upset about finishing this story because writing it has been so fun and emotional with all the fluff and angst(ish) and now it's all over. But Klaine is getting MARRIED so everything is okay.

This is the last chapter of this story, since it's the epilogue, so thank you to all of you who reviewed, favorited and followed this – you are so lovely and I appreciate all of you! xxxx