"It's really too goddamn hot here. I don't know how you stand it."

"Nana, the news said it felt like it is going to be one hundred and eighteen degrees in Brooklyn. It's only eighty four here."

"Californians," the older woman said distastefully, flipping through the files she had been carrying around with her since she got there. "If I knew you'd turn in to such a West Coaster, I'da made you live with me." Her voice may have sounded harsh and accusing, but Suze knew better. Nana was just joking again. Sarcasm and insults were Nana's way of approval and love. "Christ, Andy, these are a helluva of load of pancakes!"

"Anne," Suze's mother cried. Nana's crude tongue always ended up with her mother in distress.

"You remarried well, I'll tell you that. Even if he does look like a Californian."

Her mom smiled a little at that. Suze had to agree. Andy was a good guy. Good enough for her mom, at least. Although he was a tad stricter when it came to punishment than her mom ever was, but as an eighteen—practically nineteen—year old, her days of getting grounded were officially over.

Well mostly because she lived in a dorm room, and not her old bedroom.

Before Nana could put forth another witty retort, her phone started chiming like no end in sight. This was the fifth time so far during the Sunday morning brunch that it had preceded to do so. And every time resulted with Nana pressing the ignore button after saying a few choice words that could make a sailor cringe.

"For God's sake," she cursed. "I'm on vacation!"

Her mom just shook her head. "I don't know why you don't just retire. With your pension, and what you earned from your last case alone is enough for you to get by. And you know you could always move in here… Suze's room is just so beautiful, I'd hate to see it go unused. And we love having you here. Suze never gets to see you anymore…"

Suze wanted to ask just where exactly her mom planned on sticking her when she came home for visits—like she did every weekend. But only because her roommate was driving her up a wall—and the summers. Suze had a meager paying job at the café on campus. She wasn't about to be able to afford a place to live on her own. She couldn't even afford the Steve Madden sunglasses that were just dying to frame her face. She managed to hold her tongue. For the time being.

"I'm not goddamn one hundred. Christ! I'm sixty, and don't you get any ideas. The food might be enticing, but this woman is Brooklyn bred." Nana stabbed her banana-ganache filled pancakes with her fork. Then her phone rang again. "I'm on my goddamn vacation. I feel bad for this goddamn bastard, but there isn't jackshit I can do about it." She furiously went back to her food, looking up to Suze. "I'll tell you something, Suze, if you take on the legal field and one of your clients hits the mother load in his business, you better hope that bastard gets a fancy new lawyer." She put some pancake in her mouth.

"I will, Nana." Although Suze did not want to be a lawyer, and much to her mom's disappointment, broadcast journalism was not her major.

With kiss goodbye—and several reminders to not throw parties, especially hot tub parties like Brad had done a few years back—from her mom, and a pat on the shoulder from Andy, the two parental figures departed. They were spending a few days over at Napa Valley.

Throw a party? Honestly. Her grandmother was living at the house! She wasn't just going to throw her Nana on the streets for a few hours. And the last party that was held at the Simon-Ackerman household didn't hold such joyful memories. Unless having Jesse and Paul fight their way through the house in a path of vengeful destruction was one. Oh and the ghost of this guy's brother was also there. Trying to kill his brother.

Yeah, good fun.

"You ever think about spending a semester in New York," Suze was pulled out of her reverie by Nana's question. Her words were softer than her usual Born In Brooklyn voice. Sometimes Suze forgot that her Nana was not just all bark. That she lived in an apartment on 570 Gondola Street by herself, and spent most of her time looking over divorce cases, wrongful termination cases, false drug abuse cases, and breaking and entering cases. Well there was that one other client who kept calling her who seemed to be in a different category.

Sometimes Suze forgot that Nana lived alone without any family halfway across the country.

"I was thinking of maybe coming over again during the summer..." Suze said. Last July she went to Brooklyn for two and a half weeks to visit Gina. All the people that didn't particularly care for Suze before seemed a whole lot more friendly.

They really do change after high school.

Nana smiled, bringing her plate to the sink. Suze inwardly groaned, recalling that tonight was her duty to do the dishes. So far the various mixing bowls and pans from Andy's cooking adventure, her plate, Nana's plate, Doc's plate, more plates…

That was a lot of washing.

"So when do I get to meet this famous boyfriend."

"Oh soon. I told him you were in town, and that he better stop working so much, and get over here to meet you."

Well that was probably the worst lie Suze had ever told.

Some things go bump in the night.

Other things prefer the method of crashing right into Suze in the middle of the night.

And most of those some things happen to be ghosts.

All at once, Suze jumped up. And then her pulse followed along rapidly when she took in the figure with blonde hair, a white smile, and the Juniper Serra Mission Academy cheerleading outfit.

"Holy sh-" Suze started, gazing into the icey blue eyes of her former nemesis. Her first enemy that she ever made in Caramel.

"You," the ghost spit back at her. Taking in Suze's figure was enough for the girl to rip—that really was the only appropriate word Suze could think of to describe the action—herself off from the spot she crash landed on. She, apparently, was not much happier about the new situation as Suze was.

But no. This couldn't be real. No way. This had to be a dream because just no. No way. Not at all was this happening. This couldn't be happening. And it wasn't. It definitely wasn't. Some weird stuff may have happened to Suze in her life—like seeing dead people and time traveling—but this, no freaking way.

"Jesus what am I getting haunted in my dreams now?" She mumbled to herself. Not to brag or anything, but maybe she was just so exceptional at her mediating that she was being given a new territory.

The blonde crossed her arms. "Out of all the places I could have gone coming back, I land here. I have to see you again." She huffed, looking disdainfully around Suze's old bedroom. Part of Suze agreed with her less than impressed glaring. The room was pretty bland now that a lot of her personal things were in her dorm room.

"You're ruining my sleep. Can you keep it down so I can continue this dream in peace," Suze implored. She was not going to deal with ghost attitude during her resting time.

The girl scoffed. "This isn't a dream. As flattering as it might be for you to dream about me."

"Oh please, Heather, don't go there with me. I exercised you three years ago. When ghosts move on, they do it permanently." Suze said in a bored tone. She knew Heather hadn't been the brightest crayon in the box but really. Plus this was a dream so Heather should at least show some intelligence, seeing as Suze's own brain was controlling the scenario.

Heather rolled her eyes. "Fine," she shrugged, "if this is a dream, then you're going to be living in it for the rest of your life."

And with that Heather disappeared.

For a minute, Suze shut her eyes until she remembered that she was dreaming so it wouldn't make sense for her to try to go back to sleep because she was sleeping.

And then after lying down there for hours, the sun started to rise.

A panicky feeling started to swarm Suze. There was no way she had been sleeping in the past hours, judging by the headache that was engulfing her brain from lack of sleep. The bags under were another testament.

So then what the hell just happened?

There was one person Suze knew she needed to talk to about her fears of Heather returning from the Great Beyond, but she absolutely refused to speak to that person thanks to what he did a few months prior.

Then there was the person that Suze used any excuse to talk to. Only those conversations didn't go too far.

"I need to talk you," Suze said. Forget the sweet talk, the how-are-yous, and the other conversation initiators. She just skipped to the important part. It's not like he wouldn't have seen right through her anyway. He always did.

Jesse, on the other hand, didn't look as though he cared for Suze's dramatics today. He simply just sighed. "Can't this wait until my lunch break?"

Oh so he thought this was going to be about the Unspeakable Event.

"It's not about that," she insisted. Jesse looked skeptical, but of course, Jesse being Jesse cared enough to give her his full attention. Not there was really that much going on to divide it. Seriously there was nobody in the Caramel Historical Society.

"You remember Heather right? The first ghost—well besides you, I mean—that-"

"That you tried to—what was it again?" He contemplated for a moment, but Suze knew he knew exactly what she did. "Oh yes, I believe you attempted to perform an exorcism on Heather-"

"A Brazilian one," Suze clarified, trying her best not to smile at the memory. As terrifying as it was, it was the first time that Jesse proved he would always be there for Suze. Not that she would ever admit she needed rescuing.

"If I recall correctly, you also almost took down the school?" Suze had to fight her smile even harder when she realized that Jesse was fighting his own. Nowadays he rarely—if ever—smiled around her presence.

Suze did a dramatic eye roll; to say well not intentionally but yes that may have happened. However reminiscing the past was not what Suze came here for, sad as that might be. She wanted Jesse to remember. Remember how he helped her way back when. How they first met, how he almost died twice but lived thanks to her.

How he loved her.

And why that shouldn't be past tense but it is.

"I saw her again." Suze said, not quite being able to look at him. She wasn't sure if it was because Heather appearing was just that ridiculous, or if it was because of the thoughts she just had. Probably both. "Last night. She just appeared in my bedroom."

"Suze," his voice sounded dubious. She knew Jesse would never outright call her a liar. He was just so chivalrous and polite and nice and every single other adjective in between, but she also knew what he meant with just saying her name. It was more like he was saying impossible. Suze was inclined to agree with that.

"I know it's ridiculous, alright? But it's true!"

"Suze-"

"Is it really that hard to believe. I mean, it could happen."

"Suze-"

"I'm not saying that it happens to everyone, but maybe it was the exorcism. I probably did it wrong. Or maybe it didn't work because you interrupted me, and it got messed, and she finally figured it out."

"Suze-"

"And I'm not saying it was your fault, so don't even go there. Because I know it was basically my fault because I did it on my own, and I didn't tell anyone. And I just messed up."

"Suze-"

"So what I'm saying is that it was my fault okay, Jesse? I messed up! I already know that!" She shouted, catching the attention of a tourist who had entered into the building.

"Susannah!" His voice finally snapped her out of her rambling. She wasn't even sure she was talking about Heather anymore. "Nobody is accusing you of anything-"

For some reason something in Suze snapped at that statement.

"Oh that's a first coming from you," she said bitterly. Immediately she regretted the words that spilled out of her mouth. Why did she just say that? They were having such a decent conversation, and she just had to go about and dig it a grave. When would she stop messing up?

Before she got the chance to apologize, Jesse spoke up, "I didn't accuse you of anything, however-"

"However! Of course there would be some sort of clause. It can't just be a period! There always has to be something else, doesn't there, Jesse? Always has to be something that I did." Instead of thinking why she just said those angry words, Suze just felt, well, angry. Everything was always about what she did wrong, and how she just couldn't do anything right.

"Maybe it's not just my fault. Maybe this isn't just about me," she added.

His facial expression looked grim. He crossed his arms over his chest in what Suze would describe as hostile body language.

"Suze, I know longer believe we are speaking of Heather, in fact I believe you are referring to that, to which you claimed to not to be speaking of. I strongly advise you leave the premise, unless there is something you need assistance with occurring here at the Historical Society. I wish to remain professional on my job. Arguing with you over the past is not part of my employment."

Suze didn't say anything to that. Instead she stomped her way out of the building, ignoring his speech of professionalism or whatever he was getting at.

She tried to ignore the pang she felt in her chest.

She tried to ignore the fact Jesse was still calling her Suze, not Susannah.

She tried to ignore that she wasn't his querida anymore.

It wasn't just Heather that paid Suze an unexpected and unwanted visit.

Two weeks later, and no sign of Heather, she might add, the former Mrs, Ackerman made a guess appearance in Suze's dorm room. This time the woman wasn't wailing with a profound amount of volume, she was merely sniffing, murmuring about her poor babies. It took all of Suze's willpower to not tell her to just shut up, and leave her be.

Then there was the ghost of Angelo Bicardi, whom Suze had guided to his next great adventure when she was twelve, appearing to her while she was trying to serve up the most complicated order of café—God forbid if her boss caught her calling the beverage the oh-so unsophisticated, normal word of coffee—that she ever had to deal with. He was still complaining about how young people dress nowadays.

She couldn't forget how Maggie Mcevan appeared while she was in the shower, asking her what the hell was going on, where she could contact a cab, and who gave the best tips around this goddamn place.

And just like the all the other three that Suze had already mediated, she poofed! away before Suze could mediate or attempt to do anything for her.

Suze wanted to talk to someone about this. She tried Father Dom, but he was on some Vatican retreat, and had no idea how to answer the cell phone he had been given in case of emergency. Grandpa Slaski was temporarily enjoying some time with his extensive amount of at-home nurses at some vacation spot…

And the only person that Suze wanted to talk to was Jesse, and he sort of hated her so that was out of the question.

She sort of hated him too. Okay, not really.

Okay not at all.

She just hated herself for doing what she did.

Only she had to remind herself that it wasn't just her fault. She had to remind herself that maybe she made a huge ass mistake that she regretted so much, but it's not like their relationship was all kittens and roses at that point. He had gone off to Mexico or whatever for the entire semester. He didn't even talk to her about it until three days before. He just went. Suze didn't want to be that kind of girlfriend, but it's not like that's the sort of thing you just do without at least confiding in your girlfriend, who kind of saved you from dying.

And then he was just so busy studying and building houses or whatever he was doing in Mexico that they were barely speaking. And then It Happened, and of course, Jesse being the kind of stand up guy that Jesse is just had to come back to apologize that second because he was just that sorry for acting like a jerk.

Ugh!

Suze huffed.

No matter how many times she tried to apologize, there seemed to never be any sort of repair to their relationship.

It was a vicious cycle of never-ending frustration that had been plaguing her since March.

"I know you're sorry, Suze. Perhaps it's just better if we give it time."

"It is not that I don't forgive you, it is just that I believe this is for the better."

"I'm too tired to bring this up right this minute, Suze, maybe some other time."

"Let it go, Suze."

"You'll always be important to me, but we should let time pass."

"I don't want another relationship right now."

"It's over. Maybe it is just better this way."

And then after he said all those things, another fight would break out between them.

Every. Single. Time.

Suze wondered if it killed him as much as it killed her every time they parted.

"Is this still about, Jesse?" Gina's rather annoyed voice said on the other end of the phone on the other side of the country. "Would you leave him alone for five minutes? He might actually forgive you if you stopped pestering him."

"No," Suze lied. "This is a new guy."

"Really?" Gina could already sense the lie. "What's his name?"

"Uh, it's, uhm Juan."

"Right so Juan won't forgive you for-"

"Oh forget it, Gina, I have to go." Suze hung up the phone. She may not have been able to let her family know about her break up with Jesse—though she preferred to think of it as a slight tear in the fabric of relationships that would soon be mended with the needle and thread of love and caring. In her wildest dreams, at least—she had confided in her small group of friends for advice.

All four of them. One being a priest, another living all the way across the country.

"So this guy, Juan, you said his name was?" CeeCee questioned over the phone. Hey Suze was desperate to talk to anyone, so three minutes after her phone call with Gina ended, she found herself dialing her other best friend's number.

Unfortunately, she sounded as if she trusted Juan as Suze's ex as much as Gina.

"Yes, my ex-boyfriend, Juan, whom I am still in love with."

CeeCee didn't answer right away. She sighed, "Suze, give it up. Everyone knows you're still brooding over Jesse. And don't—" CeeCee warned, detecting Suze's automatic response to defend her incessant demand that it was not about Jesse but about Juan—"give me excuses about it being otherwise."

Before Suze could argue, CeeCee jumped in again, "I mean it, Simon, keep your mouth shut, and let me talk." Even though CeeCee couldn't see it, Suze slumped her shoulders, sinking down on her tiny dorm bed.

"Fine," she responded miserably.

"No interruption!" CeeCee demanded.

"Sorry!"

"What did I just say?" This time Suze kept her mouth shut, not particularly excited about what was probably going to be a lecture about her relationship with Jesse. As if Jesse hadn't been giving her enough of those as of recently. At least CeeCee, Adam, and Gina were more sympathetic to her cause. Father Dom made her confess her sins.

"I love you, Suze, you know that. And deep down in your extremely complicated heart, and somewhere in that brain, which I know holds some of the former intelligence of my kickass friend used to be so well equipped with knows that Jesse still loves you." Suze made a noise of protest, but CeeCee wasn't having it. "I'm not finished yet, Simon. C'mon Suze you know he loves you. Despite the wondrous amount of flaws you have. Your history is too complicated for him to just give up on you like that." Suze swallowed, remembering the extremely long—and truthful—explanation she had finally given to CeeCee about her and Jesse.

Thankfully CeeCee accepted it.

A few months later.

"I know I'm not the most experienced girl out there in the relationship department, but I can only offer you some advice. You wanna hear it?"

Suze nodded, but realized CeeCee wouldn't see it so answered that yes, some advice would be beautiful to hear.

"'If you love something let it go. If it's meant to be, it will come back to you.'"

Both ends of the line were quiet for a few minutes.

"That was deep, Cee. Thanks." It sounded almost familiar. Suze wondered if she picked it up from a book or a movie.

But could Suze actually do that? Could she really let Jesse go?

She didn't think she could. What if he didn't come back? Could she really live without him? Not to sound like a clingy or desperate—not that she wasn't feeling desperate—girl. Because she certainly didn't want to be one of those girls who shut down after her boyfriend left her.

It wasn't like that. Not with Jesse.

Is that what all those other girls thought too?

She was in love with him. She wouldn't let him die when she went back in time, thinking that if she did that she would never have even met him.

Honestly!

But after nearly six months…

Well maybe she shouldn't be hounding him.

Okay she knew she shouldn't be.

She had worked through this before. Back when he was still a ghost. They made it work back then so why was it so hard to do this when he was living? Why did everything in Suze's life contain a clause?

Why couldn't it just be Suze and Jesse forever. Period. No buts, ifs, ands, ors.

Not:

Suze and Jesse forever?

No question marks.

"You know where I heard that?" Cee said softly, so uncharacteristically for her. She didn't wait for Suze's answer. "When Adam and I were having trouble because of the long distance between us. Adam… he told me that you said that to him."

Oh.

"And you know what Suze?"

"What, Cee?" Suze felt the emotion build in her throat.

"I came back to him."

Oh.

Suze's predicament with Jesse did not change much. She kept her distance following her friend's advice—technically it was Suze's own advice. Damn she really didn't like her advice that much anymore—since their conversation. She hadn't returned to Caramel the following weekend, much to her mom's insistence.

"But Susie! You really should be seeing your Nana, she came all the way here to see you-"

"Christ, I'll just call her on the goddamn phone." Nana's voice loudly answered her mom's own protests. "I'll do the texting and the twittering."

Well that settled that then.

Instead Suze found herself suffering through a biology seminar. Unfortunately.

"Damn, Simon. I never thought you were the biology kind of girl. I find you to be more of the chemistry kind. All experiments and explosions and action. None of this boring, plain old memorizing."

Suze felt herself freeze.

"Don't be so shocked to see me, Simon. I know it's happening to you too. And," Paul Slater continued speaking to her from his seat behind her own. "I just missed you so much. It's been what? Six months?"

AN: Thanks to all who have reviewed. Just a head's up that if you're looking for news on updates, you should check my livejournal (binxabii). There's a link on my profile. I tend to update my stories on there first. This chapter has actually been written and published there since August, I believe. I'm just super lazy.

Chapter 3 is in the works, so prayer circle for me to finish it soon.

-b