Fandom: Ookiku Furikabutte

Characters/Pairings: slight Hanai/Tajima, Abe, Mizutani, hints of Abe/Mihashi

Words: 1,145

Summary: The universe has a strange sense of humor.

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notes: why is it that the quickest fic i have ever written is also the derpiest one. i don't even think I want to know what this says about me

edit: fixed a few things here and there

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Sometimes Hanai wonders if Tajima was a puppy accidentally born into a human's body. It would certainly explain a lot of things: his outgoing nature, hyperactivity, athleticism, general disregard for personal space, lack of volume control, the absence of a filter between his brain and his mouth… the list could go on, really.

Offhandedly, Hanai also wonders if it's acceptable for him to think of his teammate in that way, but then Tajima either tackles him or whines about his desire to strip in public, and Hanai decides that yes, it is, because there's really nothing else he can do in the face of such overwhelming proof.

He had no plans on sharing his little theory with anyone else, though, because as much sense as it makes, Hanai's pretty sure successfully comparing your teammates to animals isn't exactly something of a common hobby. And it isn't until he overhears Abe going on about Mihashi's more rodent-like tendencies during lunch that he realizes, with a strange degree of wonder, how much he's relieved that maybe, yes, it is more common than he thought it was.

"You'd think we're out to steal his nuts or something, the way he still gets all jumpy," Abe frowns, the very picture of someone calm and collected enough to take care of small animals. Hanai doubts he'd ever get over how Mihashi survives each and every day.

"Heh, when you put it like that, it sounds kinda cute, doesn't it?" Mizutani says, laughing slightly, oblivious as always to the deepening frown on their catcher's face. "I mean, think about it," he continues, "Little Mihasquirrel guarding all the nuts on his mound from rival pitchers." Mizutani laughs some more, and Hanai almost feels bad for what's about to happen next.

Abe, always on cue, then proceeds to hit the left fielder loudly on the back of the head with his notebook. "Creep."

Hanai sighs.

"I am not!" Mizutani whines, instinctively moving behind their captain and clinging to his arm for protection. "Come on, Captain," he says, tugging at his sleeve so hard that Hanai just knows he's going to have to spend some more time at the ironing board tonight. "Tell him you think it's cute too and that I'm not being a creep."

Hanai doubts that would actually solve anything, and he'd much rather stay out of this whole mess, but Mizutani is this close to ruining his shirt, and he figures they'll make him say something sooner or later, so—

Abe raises an eyebrow expectantly.

"Well," Hanai admits, "Mihashi is pretty protective of his mound. And personally, I've always thought Tajima was like a puppy. So it's not really that creepy a thought, I guess," and then Abe and Mizutani just look at him, like yes, it is a creepy thought, and Abe is smirking in that way he does when he's trying to hide the fact that he's being smug and failing miserably, and Mizutani is staring at him wide-eyed like he's not-so-secretly judging him which is just so wrong, because Mizutani of "I'd like to meet a girl burglar" fame should not allowed to judge anyone. At all.

"What?" Hanai demands, mostly indignant and a little bit hurt at how quickly his "friends" had turned on him.

"Oh, nothing," Abe replies, except it's not, and Hanai would just very much like to wipe that smirk off of his face.

"And you, Mizutani?" It's more of a threat than a question, really, and seeing Mizutani squirm under the pressure, Hanai has never felt less guiltless for abusing his "captain" voice.

"Uh, well," Mizutani slinks away to a nearby corner because it's either going back to Abe or sticking with Hanai, and Mizutani isn't so stupid as to believe either are acceptable options for survival.

"Well?" Hanai asks again, and with Abe sending him a look of his own, Mizutani is left to do his best impression of someone who is not just about to pee his pants.

"It's—It's not that I don't agree with you or anything like that. In fact, I think I was one of the first people to bring it up ever since that time he—Uh, anyway, that's not important. What is important is that—Uh, I mean, the point is—Uh… What was the question again?"

"Ha-na-iiiiiii~" Tajima loudly announces as he bounces through the door and hones in on his captain like a German Shepherd on a well-hidden explosive. Mizutani lets out an all too audible sigh of relief as he uses the opportunity to make his escape. Meanwhile, Abe takes a few steps back, far too ready to watch the fun unfold.

And in between trying to regain some breathing space, and attempting to push his teammate off of him, Hanai swears he needs to find better friends.

"Ha-na-iiiiiii~" Tajima says again, grinning, "Lend me your notes, will ya?"

"Get off me."

Tajima of course, does not. Instead, he says, "Could you teach me, too? Izumi says there's a test in Math or English or something tomorrow, but he won't teach me anything!" Hanai glares at him, but Tajima still makes no effort to move, except to settle on his stomach.

Hanai wishes the action were less normal than it is. Then again, when it comes to Tajima, normal for people doesn't exactly apply anyway. Hanai sighs, "He probably doubted you would learn anything even if he tried. You don't even know what kind of test it is."

Tajima pouts, "That's mean, Hanai!" and it shouldn't look as cute as it does, because it's Tajima, except it does, because it's Tajima and his eyes shine as if he'd just been put in a box and left out on the street to wait for a new owner. It's a dirty trick if there ever was one, but Tajima is nothing if not honest, often embarrassingly so, and Hanai feels his resolution falter.

"Fine," he concedes, grudgingly. "Just get off me already."

Tajima's face brightens and Hanai is almost sure he'll suddenly see a tail wagging down there somewhere, but all there is is a weight off his torso and a helping hand to get him back up to his feet.

"Thanks, Hanai! I'll see you later, okay!" Tajima says, tackling him one more time before bouncing out the door just as he had come. "Oh, and tell your mom I want curry tonight!" he shouts through the halls as the bell rings, no doubt surprising more than a fair share of passerby.

Hanai sighs and shakes his head, but makes a mental note of the dinner request all the same.

"Must be nice having your own pet," Abe comments snidely while making his way back to his seat.

"Oh, shut up," Hanai retorts, but doesn't deny.

He had been the one to wish for a puppy all those years ago, after all.