It was dark.

It was just so dark.

Sandra stared up at the ceiling, deep in thought. Thoughts trailed through her mind briefly, quickly making room for new ones to swarm in.

"It's been six years already, hasn't it..?"

She didn't speak to anyone in particular. Her words were whispered, barely audible. But she needed to hear them, or else she wouldn't be able to believe it. Even so, some part of her still couldn't believe it.

All of the lights in the small apartment were off. If she looked out the window, she could see a few shimmering colors. Could hear the sounds of cars speeding by. Despite all of the constant activity, everything seemed dull to her. Sandra knew that moving to the big city would help her. She needed to be surrounded by anything except that blank openness from all that time ago.

Don't think about that.

But how couldn't she? Even if her mind went to a blank state, it was always there. Constantly following her. Chasing her. Urging her back. Trying to drag her back down into the depths of that sand. That slowly slipping sand. It wanted to engulf her completely.

"I just want to leave…"

How many times had she said it back then? How many times had she tried to leave? Even now, it seems like she still couldn't… She wasn't allowed to leave. It would haunt her until the day she died. And maybe even then she couldn't be free. For comfort, she hugged a pillow tightly to herself. She imagined that the small, black pattern was giving her council.

Whispering in my ear, a black goat approached;

"This one's lowly; not the white line!

Make sure you're able to catch the grey train!"

Sandra's eyes narrowed, throwing the pillow a weak distance across the room.

"Just shut up already…"

She let her arm rest over her closed eyes, trying to make everything go blank. Her cat hopped up on the table to her left and stared, its deep eyes burning straight through her.

Afterward, from beside, a cat questioned me:
"Where on earth do you think you're headed, girl?
Stick around, you're sure to die soon!"

She sat up fast, glaring at the cat, her voice a higher octave than usual.

"I said shut up!"

The cat ran back off somewhere else quickly. Sandra stared at the spot where it was for a moment, before slowly getting up and walking over to the window. She stared down at the bustling street below.

What do these people have to do at this time of the night? It's so dark.. and it's so cold.

She focused on the blur of a person she could hardly see. They were tall and covered up, leaning against a post, probably waiting for the next bus or a cab.

"Who is the one directly behind you?"

Her voice was soft, eyes half-lidded. Sandra dropped down to her knees and propped her head up on her hands, watching the figure until a car came up. She saw him get in, saw the car drive down the street and disappear into a blur that was the rest of the world. Her eyes stayed focused on that spot for awhile, thinking of nothing in particular until the thoughts came again.

Am I all alone? Where could you have gone?

She dug her nails into her cheeks, needing to cling to something, anything, or else the sand would drag her down even deeper. Then, her shoulders began to shake. However, her expression stayed the same; eyes glassy and uncaring.

Clenching my red wrist, finding little support,

I'm alone, wandering, a weed that's been robbed of its roots.
I drink down tasteless water to quench my thirst.

Come, next terminal…

The memories began to fly back, one by one, mixing and heating up until her mind was a blazing hellfire. She remembered her parents, the gas station, hurrying down that two-mile desert run, the innkeeper, her room, wandering a bit around the gate of the town, heading into the bar, seeing a man playing pool to the right-

In that instant, his name kept popping up in her sight, taking up all the room in her head and pouding, pouding, throbbing. She saw brown hair, black hair, green eyes, blue eyes. Sandra clutched at her hair, head down. The shaking became worse and tears finally began to spill. Gritting her teeth, she tried to keep control, but was quickly slipping.

I beg your love, once more, any way,
For the only train going back is forever delayed.

Can't you tell me, darlin', darlynne, darlin'?
I swear I heard you say… naught, to my dismay.

The thoughts quickly transgressed over to her life. Her lie. The six years of denying everything that had happened. Each day, losing more and more color, numbing the reality of the nightmare. Painting everything over in grey. Hundreds of lonely nights. So many cold eternities.

Wilted and colorless, a flower whispered,

"Feelings are gone, feelings are gone,
And the heart speaks sadly of gloomy evenings."

Sandra pulled her fist back and punched the glass, eyes shut tight. Blood trickled down from her cut knuckles and the thin class shattered, oozing down her hand and arm. The red.

When the cicadas' cries' time came to fade,

her melancholy heart gave way to the sand.

Then the line split, running down red.

she could tell that there really never was an escape.

Dead end, no entry, and I'm just kicked away.

There, she lost herself and succumbed to the pain. The nightmare couldn't stop flashing and she hugged her knees tightly, forehead pressed to the wall.

The raging shadows looming; slowly but sure,
They come spilling out.

"I can't see a thing," I sob, I cry.

her voice shook like shattered porcelain.

Searching, desperate for my own thoughts, to know what to live by.

Can't you tell me, darlin', darlynne, darlin'?

When your phone will never ring, just what path does your life lead?

The crying quietly subdued itself after a few minutes, a few more eternities, a few more memories. Everything breaking there, crumbling at her feet. The wall, finally breaking down to nothing more than dust. Dust turning to sand. Sand dragging her down into the basements of Dusty Creek, sand dragging her down to the mines, dragging her down to that horrifying betrayal in the cave, to the yell behind a locked door… And then she screamed into her knees.

"Just go away! I want to leave this place, I want to leave!"

But no one ever escaped from that place.

No one left alive.

He never left the room outside of the shrine.

They would never let him leave.

He is one of us now.

The thought kept zooming around her brain, repeating itself, quickly growing and intensifying.

Hidden beneath the sand.

Forever.

The boiling, the seething, the looping belt line.

Here there is nothing; most surely, there's no stop in sight.
The left side, the left side, sounding on the right.
The sound when railways cross, kan-kara-rindo.

Three birds swooped down to her windowsill, standing outside of the hole, on top of the shattered existence. Small, white, angelic, watching her. She looked up and they became distorted.

The crows caw out, the crows caw out,

"You know, as much as you wish, you just can't go back to then!

The time has passed; it's too late now, you're an adult…"

Tears started up again, warm and wet down her skin, slowly slipping over the scratch marks. Regret and anguish bubbled up inside of her. Two lives. They were all supposed to flee together, go to the west coast and be happy. One forgotten to envy as she ran to escape. One locked out in fear of lust. One beaten, bloody corpse. One torn-up, scrapped body. Two burnt eternities, trapped in that place. Bones reduced to ashes, skin submitting to the flames. One pair of darkened glasses. One charred, black jacket. Forever trapped. She shouldn't have run. She shouldn't have tried to run.

I beg your love, once more, any way.
This lifelynne may not have an end, but divide it, day by day.

Time for farewell, darlin', darlynne, darlin'.

As that day's fateful result… you grew me to an adult.

She pounded the wall with one fist over and over again, the birds quickly flying away from the window. Sandra kept crying, sobbing, hurting, not aware if her neighbors heard or not. Quite frankly, she didn't care.

She stood up, breathing heavily and stood with her back against the wall. Eyes closed, she inhaled deeply. She dried her eyes, and was in a completely calm state. She opened her eyes, inhaling again. Breathing. Alive. All in this very moment. She existed.

And I constantly think, together or just me,

Although words I've already lost, they will forever be.

Time for farewell, darlin', darlynne, darlin'.

'Round and 'round I'll have to ride; down the belt line I go.

It seemed like a voice spoke to her, from that time, long ago. She watched the scene in her memory again, when she wondered if she should enter the small town or just continue, hoping to flag down a driver. However, an unfamiliar voice sounded over this one piece, only in her mind.

"Just have mercy on yourself, and go onward on foot, girl…"

Whose voice had that been? She didn't want to know. Sandra slid her broken window up all the way and sat on the small ledge, feeling the cold breeze gently lick at her face, swaying her long raven's hair around.

Sitting there in silence for one last eternity, she stared up at the night sky.

"It's so dark."

Her gaze was blank, like her mind. Her brain was quiet once more, but a different kind. Not a numb quiet. Pure silence. It seemed she had come to peace with everything that had happened.

It will haunt you.

She closed her eyes again and inhaled, coming to the final realization that she could never admit to herself.

It will cage you.

"Those two are-"

Even if you run,

Leaning forward, she let go and released her heart to the night. All of the emotions, love, grief, betrayal. Regret. Entrapment. She knew that she could be with them again soon. So soon.

It will find you.

"Dead."

Because no one ever escapes Dusty Creak.

Sandra let go and fell. Falling, falling, falling, with only one last thought.

And no one ever will.