The Grief You Gave Me Will Return In Kind

Sipping from his hot coffee slowly, he lifted his lavender blank eyes to the figure sitting quietly in front of him; Kaname Kuran, his said lover. Kaname was working on his laptop at the moment; he only does this in rare occasions. At least now if Kaname ever found out about his relationship with Yuuki, he will tell him it's because he always leaves him alone, just like this. Yes, Kaname was ignoring him these last two months, and sometimes he wonders if he knew about him and Yuuki, but decided to say nothing?!

No, that's impossible. A member of Kuran family wouldn't allow such a thing to happen, he will simply kills them, even if Yuuki was his sister, Kaname wouldn't give a damn if she did such a thing to hurt his stupid pride.

He focused his gaze on the aristocratic beautiful face, the thin lines on his strong jaw tell you how cruel this person truly is, and how rarely he actually smiles.

He was always wondering how he could deceive such a smart man like this one in front of him so easily. Maybe luck was on his side, or maybe... God had sent him as a punishment Kaname truly deserves.

He stared blankly at the tired looking wine-red eyes, Kaname doesn't seem sleeping well these days, regardless to why; he deserves more suffering, this is nothing.

A memories that ran through his mind, caused his gaze to turn hateful instantly...

Flashback

He was staring at his laying mother with sorrowful gaze; he lifted his small hand to touch her burning forehead gently. He choked while the tears ran down his cheeks "Mother... Why can't we bring a doctor for you? If this continued on you will die!"

He held his mother's hand when she lifted her warm hand to touch his "I'll be fine Zero dear, don't worry it's just a fever."

He tightened his hold on his mother's hand "I heard you and father before! The Kurans are responsible for all of this, aren't they? They put us into such a poor state!"

His mother answered weakly "No, Zero! You don't..." She went silent suddenly. Zero turned his head around slowly to the sopping little girl next to the door "I'm sorry, it's my fault, if you hadn't took me in then you would be..."

He lowered his mother's hand gently on the bed, and went hastily to the crying Yuuki. He took her small hand in his and assured "It's not your fault Yuuki, you are not one of them, you have always been one of us"

"That's right, it's not your fault sweetheart, you are just a poor victim"

He lifted his watered eyes to his father, who was patting Yuuki's head gently. He knows as they all know, Yuuki is those Kuran's daughter, but why his parents took her since she was born? This is something his parents never answered.

Yuuki is such a small innocent girl, she needs to be protected, and he always took that responsibility upon himself. If those cruel Kurans had threw her away without a reason, then who will take care of this fragile girl?!

She was also his only friend, they were alone most of the time, in their school, and in their neighborhood. It has always been just him and Yuuki, and he was always trying to defend her whenever the neighbors' boys spat at her, and she was always besides him to take care of his wounds. They were fine, they were supporting each other, and they have no need for any other person.

.

Zero lifted his head slightly; he doesn't know when he averted his eyes away from Kaname. He returned his now blank gaze back to Kaname, he must hides his feelings perfectly, Kaname isn't a fool after all.

Kaname's attention was focused on his work, and now his perfect eyebrows were furrowed slightly. Perhaps if he sat next to him; he might find useful informations about his company. The more information he has; the easier his act would be. He glanced at the heavily rain that was hitting the window's glass firmly, before he stood and a wry smile appeared on his lips "The weather is getting colder, don't you think?"

He walked slowly towards Kaname, who lifted his cold empty eyes to meet his gaze, and asked in a slightly worried tone "The room is warm, aren't you feeling well, Zero?"

He faked a smile, and ignored the way his heart skipped a beat upon hearing Kaname saying his name, he told himself like he always do, he was just disgusted.

Throwing his body lazily on the coach next to Kaname, he leaned his head on Kaname's strong shoulder and whispered "I'm fine, but it's not warm enough"

It didn't miss his mind how Kaname's body tensed slightly, before relaxing again and resuming his work quietly. He smirked to himself when he realized how much he was affecting Kaname, for someone as strong and frightening as this person next to him, to tense just because of this small touch; it's something you rarely be able to witness.

He buried his face in Kaname's shoulder, and inhaled his beautiful scent deeply. Even if Kaname was disgusting him to no end, hell, the damn bastard always smells pleasant.

It has been a long while since he sat next to him like this; he never got close to Kaname after he changed his room, and Kaname never touched him, unless he ruffles his hair from time to time, or touch his cheek gently.

He wrapped his arm around Kaname's waist, and focused his gaze on the screen in front of his eyes. His mind was trying to register all the numbers, the names; he needs every information about Kaname's company. He clenched Kaname's shirt tightly, he needs to know more to be able to destroy it; just like he is going to destroy its owner.

He swiftly removed the hateful gaze from his eyes, he shouldn't forget himself with this emotions. He stared at Kaname's elegant fingers, while a question was running on his mind, just how much blood these hands had gotten dirty with?

Other than his parents... Who else the people thought had died accidently while in truth, the Kurans were behind their deaths?!

Flashback

He dragged the little Yuuki along with him on the wit road "Hurry up Yuuki! We must find them!"

Holding the umbrella over their heads to protect them from the heavy cold rain, he tightened his grip on her small hand. He slowed down his steps when he heard her asking in a shaky voice "Are you sure they went to the Kuran's house, Zero?"

He shivered when the cold wind hit his small shaking body, he had given Yuuki his jacket, and the thin wit clothes he was wearing doesn't help at all "Yes, I'm sure Yuuki. The letter they received was from that damn house"

"Look! There they are!"

He smiled when he saw their parents' car driving slowly on the wit dangerous road. Yuuki ran past him happily to wave at their parents; he froze when he noticed the black crazy car on the opposite direction of their parents'. He yelled and grabbed Yuuki's arm "Watch out! Yuuki!"

As soon as he grabbed Yuuki, his wide-eyes watched with horror when the black car had crashed intentionally into his parents'. He stared with unblinking wide eyes at the now blood stained road, while his mind couldn't register only one thing...

This wasn't an accident, and he knows very well who was behind it.

.

He lifted his head from the comfortable shoulder, he hates this man in front of him, and he hates all of his family. The pain and anguish he and Yuuki had suffered after his parents death; he cannot forgive them for what they did, and he won't.

He wants this person in front of him to feel all what they had been through, when everyone has left them... Alone.

Flashback

Angry yet teary eyes stared at the two gravestones, earlier in his parents' funeral, no one had come. They had buried them on their own, with the help of their neighbor old man.

"Zero, why no one came to say goodbye to mother and father?"

He wiped his tears and forced a little smile on his lips, before he turned around to face Yuuki "Because they didn't know them like we did"

His smile disappeared when he saw Yuuki is about to start crying again "But... Surly they feel alone... They..."

When Yuuki's tears ran down her cheek, he hugged her gently and patted her head "No they don't, all they want is for us to be happy. They are not alone Yuuki, they have each other" he took Yuuki's small hand in his "And we are not alone, we have each other as well, so don't cry... Everything will be okay"

Everything will be okay

.

He clinched his fist and glared hatefully at the floor, it's because of them their parents had died alone. As if all the pain they had caused them in their whole life wasn't enough, in the end they had killed them.

He has no intention in forgiving them, he will avenge his late mother and father. Haruka and Juri Kuran had already died but... He turned his gaze towards Kaname who was now closing his laptop; he will get his revenge from this person in front of him. He has the same poisoned blood, the cruelty and arrogance, and of course, there's a lot of people had suffered because of him like his parents. Although he admits that Kaname is treating him differently from the way he treats the others, but he knows he is just as cruel and selfish as his parents, if not more. He knows that behind those smiles Kaname used to give him, and behind the tender gaze that he sometimes sees in Kaname's eyes, there is no feelings at all. He knows that Kaname has no heart, he knew from the first time he saw him...

Flashback

He was hiding behind a tree, his lavender eyes were watching the numerous people who came to the two Kurans funeral. What an ironic! After four years of his parents death, the two persons who killed them had died in a similar accident.

His hateful gaze was rested on their only son... Kaname Kuran.

How could such a boy just stare coldly when his own parents is being buried?! He was acting as if this was a daily routine, and not the fact that his parents had just died, and he won't be able to see them ever again!

His grip on the tree tightened, why he is so surprised? Their son is just like them, he has no feelings, and he is heartless. He is just a demon in human form.

"Zero, we have to go back to the orphanage, they will start looking for us"

He heard Yuuki's low voice, but his gaze never left the older boy "He is a monster..."

Finely he turned around to face Yuuki with clenched fists "I have made up my mind, I'm going to avenge me parents. I'll give it everything! The Kurans will pay for everything they had done!"

He turned his head slightly to glare hatefully at Kaname Kuran "I'm going to bring him down, I don't care what that will cost me. I swear, I'll let him suffer like we did, and I'll do whatever it takes!"

His fists loosened and his eyes widened slightly, when he remembered that they were Yuuki's true family. He turned his gaze again towards her and said smoothly "Yuuki, you have nothing to do with this, if you want to..."

"No!"

He stared at her with a questioning gaze, and she continued "I'm going to help you, your parents were mine as well" she extended her small hand towards him "Let's do this together, Zero"

.

He stared blankly at Kaname's back, who was standing in front of the window and staring outside. If he kept ignoring Kaname like he had been doing the last two months, then Kaname might lose his interest in him, and all of his efforts would be without meaning. He has to keep Kaname close and tortuous him in the same time. For that he must keep his disgust aside, he was ready to bear anything when he decided to revenge, and he still.

Inhaling deeply, he stood and walked to where Kaname was standing.

This is all for his parents.

This is for everything he and Yuuki had been through.

He stood behind Kaname, and wrapped his slender arms around his waist. He should be thankful, even if Kaname was a guy, at least he wasn't fat or ugly, and instead he was attractive and handsome, too handsome for his own good.

He buried his face between Kaname's shoulders, and left his hands to wander freely on Kaname's abdomen, before he lifted his left hand slowly to Kaname's chest.

He closed his eyes when he felt Kaname's swift and strong heartbeats under his hand, it appears Kaname has a heart after all; a heart he is going to play with until his last move.

He opened his eyes after a moment, when he felt Kaname's warm hand gently covering his. Why Kaname doesn't push him away? After all the two months he has been intentionally ignoring him?

"Kaname-sama, Zero-sama, the dinner is ready"

...

He dialed the numbers, and waited for the other person to pick up.

"Hello, Zero"

He answered with annoyance in his voice, while he was unbuttoning his shirt "What took you so long, Kaito? I don't have much time"

"Calm down, I was just..."

He threw his shirt away and cut him off "Keep it to yourself I'm not interested. He has an important deal tomorrow evening, and I think he is expecting too much out of it"

He heard Kaito sighing before answering "I see, tomorrow huh? I guess I have to work fast then. What's the other company's name?"

"I'll send it to you instantly"

"Ok! Don't worry Zero, I'm going to take it in front of his eyes, and we are going to pull the rag from under his feet!"

Smiling faintly, he grabbed his towel "You better should, we have an agreement after all"

He ended the call before Kaito could answer, and went to take a shower.

He found Kaito two years ago, they weren't friends, but Kaito had suffered the same as him, and wanted so badly to take his revenge. Together they worked on this plan, he was spying on Kaname closely, and destroying him emotionally at the same time, while Kaito used Zero's money to start a company on his own, a company strong enough to destroy Kaname's.

After living six years in the orphanage, he had been adopted by a wealthy family and went to live abroad with them, while another family took Yuuki, that when they had separated.

Then he met Kaito, and knew about his hate for the Kurans, and by a slip of his tongue Kaito knew about his desire to revenge, and insisted he would help him.

Soon after he returned to Japan he met Yuuki again, and she had welcomed him with open arms. When he confessed his true feelings for her she cried, and told him she has the same feelings.

He had hesitated before telling her his and Kaito's plans, but when he told her she didn't mind helping at all.

Although Yuuki and Kaito want the same thing as him, but they had told him not to involve with Kaname in a relationship like that, for it might destroy him emotionally as well, and of course he didn't listen. However soon after, they knew they cannot accomplish anything if they weren't able to get closer to Kaname, since he wasn't willing to treat Yuuki as his sister and open his heart for her. Luckily, he did open his heart to him almost too easily.

He walked with heavy steps towards Kaname's room, although he got what he wanted and Kaname had loved him and opened his heart for him, but the price he has to pay for this is still... Suffocating him, and disgusting him to no end.

He opened the door and stared at the empty room with a grimace on his face, Kaname seems showering right now.

Closing the door, he walked lazily and sat comfortably on Kaname's bed. He has to bear this if he wanted to achieve his goal, someday he would smirk at Kaname's anguished gaze, and he would laugh loudly while the other suffers in his death.

He turned his gaze to the bathroom door when he heard it opening. A light frown appeared on his face when he saw the surprise in Kaname's dark eyes, that's weird, wasn't Kaname expecting him?!

He lowered his gaze to Kaname's half buttoned pajama's shirt, for the thousand time, he is so thankful that Kaname wasn't too old or fat or ugly, or he would be doomed.

"Zero?"

He lifted his eyes to meet Kaname's questioning gaze but said nothing. He didn't move when Kaname sat on the bed as well, and said in a quiet voice "Is something wrong?"

He turned his gaze away from the intense wine-red eyes. Gritting his teeth, he answered "Is it wrong for me to come here?"

He felt Kaname's warm hand caressing his cheek gently "No, not at all" he blinked when Kaname's fingers touched his bangs "Your hair still wet"

His eyes widened slightly when Kaname took his towel and started draining his hair. He kept his gaze rested on Kaname's chest, no matter how many times he asked himself why Kaname is treating him differently from the others, why Kaname allows him to do as he wishes; he won't ever know why.

And that shouldn't matter to him; he shouldn't bother himself with such questions.

He lifted his gaze to Kaname's lips when Kaname had put the towel away, yes that's right, nothing good will come from such thoughts, and he has more important things to think about.

For now... He has to turn his personal emotions off.

He leaned slowly and pressed his lips gently on Kaname's, and he wrapped his arms around Kaname's neck when he felt him responding. This is for his parents and for the pain he and Yuuki has gone through all these years.

He moved his lips to Kaname's jaw when he felt his arms tightening around him. He wants to get this over with, he wants Kaname to do what he wants with his body and finish as soon as possible, he is getting sick of all this!

He lowered his head slightly and brushed his lips too lightly on Kaname's neck; he knows how this small act had affected the other when Kaname gripped his hair a little roughly "Zero..."

Still keeping his eyes close, he ran his hand slowly on Kaname's strong chest before resting it on his crazy beating heart. How ironic... Really.

He opened his eyes surprised when he felt Kaname's hands on his shoulders, and he was slowly pushing him away from his neck. He stared with a questioning gaze to Kaname's blank dark eyes, why did he do this? He knows Kaname wants him at the moment, so what's on his mind?

"Zero, I know you are not ready for this yet"

Kaname's voice was low and slightly hoarse. He stared with slightly wide eyes when Kaname moved his silver bangs away from his eyes and continued "You don't have to push yourself for me, I'll wait until you are totally ready, okay?"

Lowering his gaze, he bit his lower lip firmly, he was giving himself too much credits, his act wasn't perfect enough to fool Kaname, when they were doing it... At least.

"Don't do this; you are going to hurt yourself"

He released his poor lip, and blinked when Kaname leaned slightly to lick his lower lip gently. He closed his eyes when he felt Kaname's fingers tangling in his soft hair, why Kaname is behaving like this? So tender...? This is not like him at all.

He opened his eyes when Kaname moved away, after kissing his lips gently "Sleep here tonight Zero, will you?"

He stared at Kaname's dark wine-red eyes, Kaname won't ask him why he wasn't ready, and he hadn't said much, Kaname won't ask him any questions.

That's better; it might be hard to lie on a too smart person like Kaname.

He put his hands on Kaname's chest, before he pushed him to lie on his back on the soft sheets. He rested his head on Kaname's chest and whispered softly "Sure, why not?"

He closed his tired eyelids when he felt Kaname wrapping his arms around him; this is it for Kaname Kuran... One night in heaven, then dozen nights in hell, and the life goes on.

Until his inevitable end, he will pay for what he and his family had done.

...

He walked hastily to the living room, where the maid had told him Yuuki is waiting at. It is nearly dinner time, and Kaname didn't come yet, although he sometimes comes late, but he never has been late until this hour before. And for Yuuki to come suddenly at this time of night is plainly weird!

He said as soon as he entered the room "Yuuki, is something wrong?!"

He stared with worried gaze at her shivering body; she looked like she was trying hard to prevent herself from crying. He walked towards her and put his hand gently on her shaking shoulder "What is it? You are scaring the hell out of me?!"

She gripped his arm and said in a shaky voice "Zero, we have to run! He is going to kill us! He is just like what you said before! He is a monster!"

He frowned deeply "Calm down, tell me why are you saying this? What happened?"

"Today two men... from his company had been killed..."

His frown deepened, and he tilted his head slightly "And...?"

Her grip on his arm tightened, and her tears ran down her cheek "He killed them! I swear I saw him killing them!"

His eyes widened in shock, Kaname had... Killed?!

"I was passing by... They were in the back street..."

He ignored his conflicted feelings, and put his arms around her slender body and hugged her gently, she continued between her sops "My bodyguards took me away from the place; they said it's dangerous... And..."

"It is okay, Yuuki."

He patted her back gently, why he is shocked? He knew Kaname is not different from his parents from the beginning, hell... He is too much worse. His parents were using sneaky tricks to cover their crimes, but Kaname... The people are just like slaves to him; he even dared to kill them in public, and didn't try to hide. Kaname Kuran... What a frightening heartless man.

"Zero... We have to run away! Fast! He is going to kill us as well if he knew what we are doing!"

He shook his head slowly "No, Yuuki. I'm not going back, not after everything we did. I'll not stop until I finish what I had started. But you have to go away if you are so afraid."

"No! I'm not leaving you alone!"

His hold on her slim waist tightened "Yuuki..."

Suddenly, he heard the sound of a glass breaking. He turned his head around, and his eyes widened when he saw Kaname leaning on the doorway, and his hand were on the small table the broken vase was on, it seems he had broke it intentionally.

He dropped his arms to his sides, Kaname knows he and Yuuki are best friends, and it is okay for friends to hug each other right? So why Kaname's cold gaze looked like it holds so much anger?!

Kaname looked perfect as always... He doesn't look like he had just killed two of his men, what a cold blood he has!

He heard the sarcasm in Kaname's velvet voice "Sorry for interrupting"

He stared with lightly furrowed eyebrows at Kaname's cold wine-red eyes, there was anger, as well as... Disappointment.

But why?

…

Rosaries left under the mattress of the memories

Who could bear the witness?