Authors note: Wow, okay so this is a one -shot that is kind of depressing... so yeah, just warning you. Hope you enjoy it and please review.

I said no. For the third time I said no. I rejected Freddie's proposal yet again, and the truth was... I didn't even know why. It wasn't like the first time. I said that we couldn't get married because we were too young, and we were, we were only nineteen. He understood. But we aren't nineteen anymore, we're almost 26.

Some of my friends are already expecting children. It's not like the second time either, when I said not yet because we weren't financially stable to be wed, which was also true, since we didn't have enough money between the two of us to even support a mortgage fee on a house. The economy was down, and the US was getting lower on its dollar value. It was a hard time, but we managed, just like Freddie said we would. Now, Freddie was a millionaire, he invented Lime © the technology company after Pear went bankrupt, at the ripe age of 25. We would have been able to buy twenty houses across the country and still have plenty money left over.

But I don't care about the money really... Freddie is so modest. So if your long time boyfriend whom you love with all your heart proposed to you... would you reject him? Of course you won't. So what's wrong with me? I'm not so sure. My counsellor had told me I've had trust issues. He thinks I'm afraid that Freddie's going to abandon me just like every other male figure in my life. But that's not what I think. Not at all, seriously. I mean... why would he? He loves me, more than I love him probably. My best friend says that I need to let go of my past .But like I said, there's nothing to be said about that.

When Freddie proposed to me this time, I truly wanted to say yes. I wanted to be happy and marry him and live my happily ever after, but just like the two times before a little negative voice popped into my head and thought of all the reasons why I wasn't good enough for someone like Freddie.

"You're useless... You're repulsive... You're a bitch." It whispered. The voice truly disturbs me. I can't fight against it because every time we battle it wins. Everything it tells me... All those horrible things are true. And I know it. Nobody believes it though. My therapist tells me they aren't true. But they are. My father said so.

I wept that night. I wept as I realized that I may never become the Mrs. Benson I always dreamt being. There was once an old saying," love can overcome anything" It's false. Love cannot overpower a woman's hateful conscience, because a woman's hateful conscience NEVER leaves.

To sum it all up, I'm crazy. I am, of course I am after all... my name is Sam Puckett. And puckett's don't let go of their past. They don't forgive. They don't accept things they don't deserve. I'm not ready to marry Freddie Benson...

...And I don't think I ever will.