Planetalia

Chapter 1

Backstory:

The year is 3,081. Since the twenty-first century, technology has advanced just a step. Cars can fly, but only for a certain period of time. The highlight of the world today is an invention made in 2095, made by Howard Jene-Ryes, known as the Celestial Plates. They are a very special invention, allowing people to teleport anywhere in the Solar System. Since their invention, people have begun to move to different planets, but those planets are the only things that seem to have been unchanged. And the representatives of the planets, those who are known simply as the 'planets,' have been provided "super" versions of the celestial plates. In 2102, Jene-Ryes died due to old age, but his invention lives on, hardly changed...

It had all begun like every planetary meeting. The planets bickered, flirted, and ate all in the same room (of course, Ludwig, representative of Uranus, had made quick work of it).

It always makes one wonder how everything went wrong.

Just as everyone began to step on their correct celestial plates, a very loud 'zap' followed by an unreassuring hum of dead engine. Of course, this had never happened before so opinions on the correct protocal were thrown everywhere.
"We should send Ludwig to go fix it!" Arthur, representative of Neptune, announced. His archenemy since the dawn of time, Francis, representative of Venus, protested and soon, the planets named after the Roman gods of the sea and beauty were fighting.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SCARED SOMEBODY HOLD ME THERE'S A GHOST AND IT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIIIEEE!" Alfred, representative of Mercury, ranted. He clung to the closest thing and that just so happened to be Kiku, representative of the ringed planet of Saturn.

Kiku let out a very embarassing yelp and pushed Alfred away from him, which resulted in Feliciano, representative of the planet Earth, becoming acquainted with the meeting room wall. The poor little planet let out a cry that was a mixture of pain and surrender.

Suddenly, Ludwig was next to the fallen planet, trying to get him up to his feet. Of course, Lovino, representative of Mars, being next to him didn't help at all. Uranus never got why Lovino was so mad at him. He always called him 'potato bastard' (which was completely absurd because nothing grew on his planet's surface) and many other very mature names.

"Hey! Get off of my brother, you no good, sideways, gassy, pervert!" the twin of Earth spat out. Ludwig scowled at the name, as it wasn't his fault for just so happening to be knocked on his side.

"Stop fighting," someone whispered but no one could hear him. The secretary for Earth, Matthew Williams, had been sitting next to his 'boss' for the entire meeting. Of course, as per usual, no one noticed him and not a word was sent his way. However, Halley's Comet had given him a flash of a small smile.

"That is enough!" Uranus finally shouted for the second time today. He continued to ramble on about how fighting never solved anything and if they would put some past issues behind them (like planetary placement), they would actually get some things done.

"Mercury and I will go to check what is wrong with the plates. The rest of you, stay put," the Uranian growled, staring straight at Feliciano. The representative of Earth smiled at him absent-mindedly and continued onto his newest "masterpiece", a bowl of his most favorite food in the world.

All right, all you Hetalians out there. Say it with me! The picture was a bowl of...

PASTAAAAAAAAA~!

All right, back to the story.

The well-built Uranian man snatched a long, sleek, black flashlight out of his briefcase (he always kept one in case of a power outage) and ambled out the door. A terrified Mercurian followed him.

As Arthur tried to invade the kitchen, Matthew started to whisper things to Lovino, and, Feliciano successfully getting to said kitchen before the Neptine, the two comets stayed in their seats.

"Are you all right?" the comet named Shoemaker-Levy 9* asked his younger brother. Halley's comet looked into his deep dark blue eyes and said the words that will begin our grand adventure.

"Something's wrong."

"What the hell?!" Ludwig said, shining his light into the room. The machinery room was usually brightly lit, baby blue and soft neon green lights pulsing. Instead of the comforting colors, it was pitch black. The two planets could not see within two feet even with the flashlights.

"Oh my God," Alfred whispered, clinging onto Ludwig. This could not be happening. It was like every other horror movie. The two of them would go into a dark room with only a flashlight and then Uranus would disappear, leaving the blonde alone. Then, when he least expected it, a ghost would pop out of nowhere and then drag him to his slow agonizing death. "AHHHHHH!" Alfred screamed, squishing the air out of the tilted planet.

Ludwig let out a startled and very manly scream as he gasped for air.

"Alfred, I can't breathe," he wheezed out, trying to pry the needy Mercurian's arms off of him. How the man possessed such incredible strength was beyond him.

"IT'S GOING TO KILL ME OH MY GOD SOMEONE HELP ME THEY'RE GOING TO GET YOU FIRST AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO GET ME AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO RIP MY GUTS OUT AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO GO AFTER THE REST OF THE PLANETS I WON'T BE A HERO THAT'S NOT FAIR I DON'T WANNA DIIIEEE!" Alfred screamed out. Ludwig dragged his palm across his face. This was the second time today. How were his lungs not dead yet?

"Alfred, nothing is going to get you. Relax. Gott...," Ludwig said and then muttered "dumkophe" under his breath. Everything was erased from his mind when he saw the wrench stuck in between the thin space between the plate computers. The engineer born Uranian picked it up and studied the damage.

The saboteur had broken the main frame computer. The giant man sighed. This would take weeks to fix, even with this year's most innovated techology. Their enemy knew what they were doing.

"No, not yet. You don't know if a person did this," Ludwig said, pocketing the wrench. He turned to Alfred and announced their retreat.

A/N: Hello readers! This is Phoenix of Starlight's faithful friend from Fanfiction, Son-Of-Beyond-And-Blood! This is my first collab fic and I hope to write more! Of course, I'll have to explain a few things before space dust hits the fan. She and I have been thinking about her writing this for a while but it was turned into a collab fic after me nagging her to write it. Of course, with Hetalia comes shounen-ai. We're still deciding but if you type hard enough, we might pick your OTP [however, USUK is set and final. Sorry if you came for FrUK, Asakiku, or anything else.]. Go nag on Phoenix to write the rest. Review for wurst!

A/N: And Phoenix here~ Just as SBB says, this is our collaboration fanfiction, Planetalia, which has been pending writing for a darn long time. ^^' This first chapter was written by her and edited by me, as she had come up with a plot while I was busy being half braindead and the half working on other stories. XD The next chapter will be by me, and I can almost promise that I won't screw it up. Haha~ And yes, also as she says, we will take pairing requests... but USUK is set and final. *nod nod* Review or be... uh... pasta'd to death? XD

*Yes, such a comet exists; look it up.

Oh, and for anyone who's wondering, Halley's Comet and Shoemaker-Levy 9 aren't actually characters from Hetalia, but SBB's beloved OCs.