Delicate

The sun has been unfalteringly bright since Saturday, and Barnabas is growing tired of being stuck in the house all the time. He's getting thirsty too; and needs to feed soon to avoid an accident – perhaps he should cease to avoid feeding so much? After all, people do die all the time…

…Innocent people…

And Victoria still hasn't spoken to him, even after three days.

Now one can't help adoring her and all, but three days of constantly apologizing and truthfully telling her that he had no idea whatsoever of what Angelique was going on about with the 'last night' business - it simply doesn't seem to be enough for her. In all honesty, it's been near infuriating. He can't exactly casually drop into a conversation the fact that she's a witch – more so, a witch who has had it in for him ever since he'd failed to declare his non-existent love for her two centuries ago. Curse this curse! All he's done for the past few days is mope around the house feeling sorry for himself.

Perhaps he needs a break.

He leans back in his seat at the coffee table in the lounge, puts down his new book (he's trying out The Hound Of The Baskervilles) and breathes out a long sigh, eyes travelling jadedly around the room. There isn't much to do without anyone to talk to, and by now he's reduced to tracing small circles on the table with a thin finger while his head droops lower and lower in the other hand.

Rubbing his burning throat and checking the gold pocket watch, Barnabas purses his lips – it's almost three, and his first treatment session isn't until four o'clock. Even so, he feels as though he needs company soon if he wants to avoid exploding – so he pulls himself up out of the chair and heads up to Julia's office.

He stops outside her door, listening in for a second. There's some sort of song about a 'life on mars' playing; and putting his ear closer he can hear Julia singing along pretty badly, holding in what would have been a very loud snort, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Eye on someone else now, I see," a voice resounds behind him.

"Wha- Victoria!" He snaps his head around and immediately feels his cheeks burn. Oh, Lord. Of course she has caught Barnabas in the most unorthodox position – grinning widely with an ear pressed right to Julia's door. He looks at the disgusted Victoria hopelessly. "It isn't what it—"

"Really. Funny, that's exactly what my parents said to me before they threw me into—" she stops, checking herself.

"The what?"

"Why do you care?"

"You know why," he replies softly.

She looks up at him. "Say it, then," she sounds less vicious, her wide eyes blinking at him expectantly.

Barnabas is stuck for a second, not wanting her to feel in any way offended by telling her his irrevocable feelings for her. He opens his mouth to speak after a very long while - but by the time he does, her eyes have grown menacingly dark again. What did he do?

"Fine. If that's how it's going to be." She says. He gets an extremely unpleasant feeling in his gut as a sudden flashback to his last mortal night spent with Angelique ripples over him in a wave of regret.

He shudders and averts his gaze to the floor, unable to speak and rather embarrassed. Neither of them says a word, and when Julia's office door opens suddenly, the two pairs of eyes in the hallway snap up a little too gratefully, relishing the moment to focus on something other than their own problems.

Julia moves into the light slowly, looking confused. "What are you—"

Barnabas shoots Julia a tiny, almost unintelligible shake of the head and she closes her mouth with an expression showing him she really knows she's interrupted something. He watches Julia's eyes direct themselves at Victoria's rigid body and waits for Vicky's reaction – though to his surprise, she simply glares at Julia, turns up her nose and stomps off, Barnabas's eyes trailing after her longingly.

He always manages to ruin things.

First Josette, then his own mortality, and now his chances with Victoria…Why must he have to endure this never-ending torrent of suffering?

Angelique. His eyes narrow again at the thought of her. In one way or another, it's down to her, and he'll get her for it. Soon.

Julia's voice suddenly slices through his self-loathing, and he turns his attention back to her.

"Are you okay?" she asks cautiously, checking her watch. "We aren't scheduled for… an hour, yet."

"Oh…To be very honest, Julia, not really. I just came for your company… if that's alright," he says, a sad smile creeping across his lips.

She raises an eyebrow questionably, but after just a second it's plain he isn't joking. "Come in, then." She speaks slowly, and moves aside to let him in.

Barnabas enters the room smoothly and smiles as he looks the place over.

"This place has a little charm, wouldn't you agree?" he says.

"You think so?" Julia beams and shuts the door. "Nobody else really notices, you know – but I love it. I've always loved it."

"It must be nice to be able to get away from it all."

He takes a seat on a chair quietly and after a while she sits beside him.

"Okay, I'll buy it. What's eating you?" she speaks softly.

Barnabas just looks at her, confused.

"Sorry. I meant – what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Yes there is. I'm a psychiatrist; it's sort of my job to know."

He shakes his head and looks up desperately at the lamp on the ceiling. Someone once said that looking at a bright light could lessen one's lament. Please, don't let her work out his crisis.

"Barnabas?" asks Julia, nudging him. Her eyes look genuinely worried now. He returns her gaze hopelessly, and before he can stop it, a tear slips from an eye, followed by another. He doesn't know why this happens: perhaps the emotion is just too overwhelming? Perhaps it's looking into those deep eyes of chocolate and truly seeing someone who understands him completely? Nevertheless, Julia is quick to react and immediately envelops him in a soft embrace – which he returns without hesitation.

She whispers his name soothingly into his ear, starting to stroke his hair as if he were her own son.

Strangely, he finds he doesn't mind it one bit, as tears continue to fall slowly yet non stop.

"It's okay… shh… Oh, you've had it, right? I bet it's getting too much."

Barnabas can only nod stiffly, embarrassed with himself.

After some silence, she continues. "I know. I can't remember a time where I haven't felt utterly alone in the world. Other than now, of course." He can feel her head moving to rest on his shoulder. "I feel like nobody understands me. They judge me so quickly, Barnabas – it's almost unreal." Her voice has taken on a dreamy sort of tone, and her words spill out in a wave of bordering-on-desperate communication. It's like she hasn't spoken these deeper secrets to a single soul in the world. And although she hasn't spent near two hundred years locked in a box, she's certainly been mentally locked away for forty six of them, and Barnabas feels almost privilegedthat she feels so comfortable talking with someone so different. He listens to her story whole-heartedly – what does Julia really have to offer?

"I've had it all my life. Ever since I was at school – well, I guess you can imagine. Suppose you could say I was just into different things than most. The other girls liked horse-riding and ballet and whatever, I was obsessed with the human mind by eight. I never looked too cool either, and I remember these ugly grey glasses I had to wear," she laughs. "Now I look back… Jesus, they were awful! I was tormented beyond belief, I can tell you. But after a while – when I was about fifteen I guess – that's when I began to not care. Just fuck them all, I thought." She pulls away and looks at him in his now dryer eyes. "It's a tough one. Not caring or being different can drive some people away, but remember, Barnabas," her voice lowers. "It can also attract. You just have to make sure you choose the right way to go about it."

He ponders those words for a minute before replying, "you are very wise, Julia. It isn't true, what the others say. Thank you," he says, flashing her a warm smile.

"Sure. Are you better now?"

"Yes." It's awkward again. "I'll just…um…" he stands, moves over to the white bed and begins to unbutton his shirt with his back to Julia, ready for his first treatment.

"W-what are you doing?" he hears her ask quietly.

He turns around and looks at her questioningly, seeing Julia's eyes widen and lock on the slither of white chest he has exposed already.

"…You told me needles were to be placed into my arms," he says slowly, wondering what he's done.

She frowns. "Ah… the transfusion…"

It's a while before she says anything else, and Barnabas grows a little self-conscious. Judging by her facial expression a moment ago, he had definitely done something a little problematic. Perhaps one should not have removed their shirt? But then she looks up with a fresh smile on her face, which gives him some confidence.

"No treatment today, okay?"

"Why?"

"It's a little… overwhelming, if you like. On the first try. And you've had enough of overwhelm today." she finishes.

Fair enough. "I should suppose you're right. You have already given me all I needed, after all." He walks up to the door before turning back again to add softly: "I should say, "all I wanted. Thank you again."

She smiles something genuine – a rare sight.

They don't talk much after that.

Living with others is a funny thing – one day you could be akin to best friends, confiding in one another easily and without a second thought, and the next you might not exchange a single word. Living with another person, who isn't a part of your family, is all too often an awkward situation in that sense. Somewhat tense, perhaps. Delicate.

But then again, saying "family" does bring up some similar connotations, does it not? For example you'd imagine seeing or thinking about your family, be it adoptive or biological, pretty well every day – so somehow, these two otherwise unrelated people are in fact related very intimately; and possibly even more so than with real relatives. It's complicated, and you feel as if you must say the right thing and only the right thing, or else it will get out of hand, and emotion will begin to show through the masks of indifference people seem to wear so often these days. And emotion is often the very last thing people want to show in relationships like this. Other people have feelings? Outrageous.

So this is the case for Julia and Barnabas, and it continues for the next week or so – talk, silence, silence, talk – until a Thursday morning, completely out of the blue – there is a change.

It's his third treatment session, and Barnabas is stood alone at Julia's door, clearing his throat a little before edging in slowly.

Julia has her back to him, sitting on the chair in the middle of the room with a half empty glass of red wine balancing within the fingers of her right hand. He doesn't need to speak; she has heard his footsteps and twists herself to face him, smiling. She waves her hand towards the bed and looks at him expectantly.

"Sit, then," she says sharply.

Bad mood? He puts it down to the glass in her hand and doesn't question it further. "I do hope you haven't had too much of that bottle," he glances over to the great thing on the counter, though relaxes again after noticing that only a little has been poured out.

"Nah, only one." Julia gets up and puts her glass next to the bottle after taking a quick sip. "Was I rude? Sorry."

He smiles. "No. Do not worry yourself."

She returns his grin and begins to set up the equipment, which takes a couple of minutes. Barnabas sits on the bed and rolls the sleeves of his shirt up, his pallid skin almost completely blending in with the white sheets. He tenses as Julia slides the needles into his muscle, wincing as what feel like knives of sheer ice pierce through his skin. He squints into Julia's sympathetic eyes.

"You'll get used to it in time," she smiles. Rising again slowly to turn on the machine, she adds, "Though I have to tell you this still might not work. It isn't exactly the kind of thing they teach you in medical school."

Click.

The whirr of pipes and a faint movement in his arms tells him everything is working properly, and he feels more at ease. "You must have faith, Doctor," he says, "for if a man can become a monster, then a monster can become a man."
She faces him. "But why become a man, Barnabas. Why give up the gift of eternal youth? I mean, look at me – every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk."

"If that is true, Madam, then you must have started as the most beautiful creature to have ever lived." He slows down his speech as he realises what he has just said. Why did he say that? Of course it's in his nature to give compliments… but that… He is lost in thought for a second, but not so lost that he doesn't hear Julia's tiny gasp from the corner of the room.

Julia takes off her glasses slowly and one corner of her lip moves upwards a little; in both shock and happiness. Did he mean that?

Turning around again, she almost whispers. "Uh… Barnabas, are you aware of the… concept of doctor patient confidentiality?" She's going to do it.

He does have some idea, but still. "No. Perhaps you will be kind enough to enlighten me?"

"All right." Julia replies simply. Her eyes don't break contact with his, searching him, while she sinks to her knees. She shuffles a little until she's comfortable.

What is she doing? He watches her small hands push his knees apart slowly and begins to open his mouth to protest, until she silences him with the gentle undoing of his own trousers. She doesn't look up.

Julia takes a deep breath, trying to get rid of the butterflies in her stomach. She needs all her wits about her; she supposes that after almost two hundred years one would have needs, and she is about to give him long awaited release from those. It has to be the best, or else she needn't even try. Trousers unbuttoned, she pulls out his lengthy member with her left hand and smiles, for he won't have had anything like this in a very long time.

Barnabas's eyes have been unnaturally wide for a while now. But he doesn't resist, as the mere soft touch of her fingers was enough to make his arousal show. She begins to work on him with such dexterity, and it becomes evident that this isn't her first time – he's literally in good hands, so forgets everything else and lets Julia immerse him in something spectacular.

She takes him fully into her mouth and moves her head up and down rhythmically, drawing out the occasional soft grunt from his lips. He has a peculiar taste; not unpleasant at all, it's cool yet warm at the same time… Is that possible? Closing her eyes, she shifts a little to focus more on his swollen tip, flicking her tongue around him. Her mouth parts with him momentarily, and his hips jerk forwards to meet her lips once more; but she swaps to her hands again. Hold on for a little longer, my love. Julia varies the speed of her hand, and his grunts steadily turn into hoarse moans as she continues to rub, faster and faster – he must be close now… Julia persists in glee until he reaches his climax; with which he leans his head slowly backwards with something close to a shout, ("Julia!") and his seed carries on seeping through her shaking fingers, which she downs within a matter of seconds.

There's silence in the room now for a while. Barnabas is sat on the bed catching his breath while Julia is still on the floor wiping her mouth, hardly believing herself what has just happened.

"Well, I…" he clears his throat to speak. He says anything, anything to break this tension. "…I suppose you're… practiced in this concept?"

Julia shrugs. "Not really, actually. I guess I had a thing or two back in the fifties but, uh… that's a different story. A different me." She looks at the floor.

"Nevertheless, Julia," he smiles wryly. "That was…" he shakes his head and looks at her in awe, to which she can't help but smile shyly back.

Barnabas gone, Julia is sat by the window, exhaling the smoke of her third cigarette and thinking deeply upon the day. She didn't know what had made her do that to Barnabas, what had made her so fearless – all she knows is that she is so glad she did.

She hadn't wanted anything in return; all she'd wanted was to make him happy.

It must be love, she thinks. It must be love, as she'd read somewhere that while plain lust was only the desire to get, love was instead the desire to give. And this is an answer she has wanted to know ever since she first laid eyes upon the vampire. But does he see it? Could he ever love her?

Does he?

Does he? No… Victoria…

Barnabas clicks his coffin door shut and can do nothing but confirm - something extraordinary has happened to him.

Next chapter coming soon! Thinking of making it something to do with Angelique, but let me know what you think.

And I just want to say I feel like I owe these people so much because I was so alone* and might not have been able to write a single thing if it wasn't for their writing.

Inspirations: Doctor Patient Confidentiality by AngelofDeathXx, A Secret Unrevealed by bellatrixlestranable, (which I enjoyed so much I hadn't thought about that pairing and I guess I kind of like it a lot) A Room With A View by E.M. Forster who you won't find on here (That's where I stole the last line from, sorry about that, E.)

Of course, all the speech leading up to the doctor/patient bit isn't mine it's all from the film, I own nothing but the writing because I'm not original lalalala

Ideas always welcome (a.k.a PLEASE) and thank you so much for the nice reviews they're what keep me posting! I think I like this chapter the most so far. I've really enjoyed writing it.

See you all soon xxxxxxxxx

*Johnlock forever.

oh um hello. yes i realise i haven't been around since, like, january. geeeeez. i promise i have NOT abandoned this story! i'm constantly thinking about it every time i go on tumblr and stuff and feel so bad i haven't updated. i am just beyond terrible at thinking up plots and haven't had one good idea for months! i feel really bad, but i want you all to know that i do think about this all the time and i am sure something might come along when i least expect it. (maybe during summer?!) thank you so much for the continued reviews and support! it means a lot. :)))))

26th june '13 xo