0o0o0o0o0o0

When Kaoru told his mother he would be leaving the house to visit a friend in Tokyo, she almost cried.

What she did do was hug her enormously tall son. Kaoru had grown red, arms hanging by his side like limp weights. She tousled his hair, grabbing his face as she pulled his head closer and kissed his forehead. For an instant, Kaoru felt smaller than his mother, like the way she used to comfort him after a rough day in school when he was younger.

He smiled and lifted his hands to cover them over hers. She smiled then her eyebrows furrowed together, pulling away.

"You need a haircut."

"I don't need-"

She cut him off, "You should at least look presentable."

She went silent for a moment and Kaoru wondered why she looked so sad. He pulled away and grabbed her hands. She looked down at their hands, noticing how his hands now enveloped her own. To her, it always felt like yesterday when it was his tiny hands that would disappear within her fingers.

"Mother?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Who are you going to see?"

"…Ryou Misaki."

She hummed thoughtfully.

"Is he the reason you've been acting more social?"

Kaoru nodded. He opened his mouth but closed it again. She gently patted his cheek.

"You don't have to explain it to me if you don't have too. But whenever you feel comfortable, I want to meet him."

Kaoru nodded and his mother smiled again. She really wanted to meet the guy who was encouraging her son to slowly venture into the world.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The pattering of his heart wouldn't calm down. Kaoru couldn't tell if it was because of walking through the streets to get to Ryou's apartment, or perhaps it was Ryou himself, standing right in front of him. Maybe it was both.

But he was there, standing in front of the door to his apartment. Ryou Misaki was real.

The first thing he noticed was Ryou's eyes. They were clear and focused and staring straight at him. Kaoru had to look away. The confidence he had as Endrance wasn't nearly the same as his own confidence. He took a deep breath and glanced towards Ryou.

"Haseo…"

Ryou turned slightly red. "You can call me by my name, y'know."

Kaoru nodded, calling him by his last name. For whatever reason, that made Ryou turn even more red. He pouted, hands on his cocked hips and Kaoru felt some of his nervousness slip away. It was Haseo's gesture, something familiar in a completely unfamiliar setting. He smiled and called Ryou by his name. It was fine.

Kaoru wanted nothing more than to bring himself closer to Ryou. He wanted to hold his hand, to feel with his own flesh that Ryou was real. But he couldn't. He held himself back.

"I am glad you are real." Kaoru said. He excused himself and walked into Ryou's apartment.

As long as he could be near Ryou then it was fine.

He loved Ryou but Kaoru knew Ryou didn't have that same feeling. But it was okay. Even as friends, he was okay with their relationship so long as he could see him.

0o0o0o0o0o

Kaoru's solitary life began to evolve into a social one the more time he spent with Ryou. It took gradual time to get used to travelling on the train to his home and Ryou's home but once he got used to it, he was able to see more of Ryou when he wanted. It came to the point where he would spend nearly the week sometimes, it happened at least once a month, before he would go back to his home for the weekend.

It didn't seem like Ryou minded. Sure, he frowned a lot, but Kaoru learned that Ryou frowning was his normal expression. It was often enough that Iori noticed it, and Shino, a girl who often visited, made fun of. But when he did smile, Kaoru savored it.

It wasn't all pleasant though.

The sound of vomiting echoed around his ears as he stood in front of the bathroom door. It was late into the night and Iori was fast asleep in his room. He couldn't hear the retching noises coming from the bathroom. With a deep frown, Kaoru merely stared at the door. Ryou had flushed the toilet and turned the sink on, washing away the rancid taste in his mouth with mouth wash. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Kaoru standing there. The tall recovering shut-in looked worried.

"Is everything okay?" Kaoru said gently.

Ryou nodded, his skin paler. "Just a nightmare."

Kaoru was still worried, nervously wringing his hands together. It was always a nightmare that had Ryou running to the bathroom at night. Ryou never said anything more about them and Kaoru didn't pry but it still concerned him. It happened so often he couldn't help but wonder how Ryou handled on his own when he wasn't sleeping over.

"Kaoru?"

"…Are you really okay?" Kaoru asked, his voice barely an audible whisper. He stared at his hands. Ryou stared up at Kaoru and sighed. A small smile shaped his lips.

"Yeah, don't worry too much. C'mon, it's still dark."

Kaoru nodded, following Ryou back into the room. He laid down on the spare futon Ryou had spread open for him while Ryou climbed on to bed. Kaoru couldn't fight back the unease he felt swell inside him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Over the weeks, Kaoru's mother noticed so much change in her son. He was looking healthier and seemed to have gained weight. He left the house on the Friday evening and always came home Sunday night. She wanted to ask more about Ryou but held back. He would tell her when the time came.

But the more she waited, the more curious she got.

One evening, after a couple of months have passed and the time he spent Ryou was becoming longer, Kaoru was home for the weekend. They were having dinner together and Kaoru was talking about a café Ryou often went to. She watched carefully, noticing the small smile on his lips.

"Kaoru?" She asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you like Ryou?"

"…I do." He replied. "But he doesn't share those feelings for me."

"Does he know?" She asked, a bit confused.

Kaoru slowly shook his head. "At least, I don't think he does. But it doesn't matter. Even as a friend, I'm happy that I can be by his side." Kaoru stared at his young mother's face. "Do you want to meet him?"

She blinked, the question catching her by surprise. "You sure?"

Kaoru nodded without hesitation. "…I realized that I haven't made your life easier when I was younger. Becoming a hikikomori... Shutting myself away from you. I'm sorry for being stubborn. But I want you to meet him. Ryou is important to me but you are more important. And I want you to like him."

All she could do was stare, tears welling along the corner of eyes. She quickly stood up and went to Kaoru's side, hugging him. Since he was still sitting, she was able to hug him completely; arms wrapped his shoulders, her head resting atop of his head.

"Kaoru…" She cried but she was smiling, kissing the top of his head. "My stubborn child. In that case, I want to invite him over for dinner." She said.

0o0o0o0o0o0

It was weeks later when Kaoru was able to bring up the question to ask Ryou over for dinner. He felt nervous. Kaoru was sure Ryou wouldn't say no but at the same time, it would mean Ryou would be coming over to his house, seeing the place he grew up in.

And his face paled when he realized how much cleaning his room needed. Kaoru silently groaned as he paced around in Ryou's room. Ryou, the person in question, had gone over to his father's company office and was due back any minute. Kaoru walked out of Ryou's room and into the living room.

Iori was at the kitchen's bar, text and notebooks spread out in front of him. He briefly looked up before going back to his studies. When he heard Kaoru rummage through the kitchen, Iori looked up. He was being really active, more active than usual. He put down his pencil as he watched Kaoru pace around in front of the stove.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru didn't hear him. He just kept on pacing. Iori's eyes followed his path until he forcibly slammed his hands on the counter.

"Oi! Kaoru!" Saku's loud voice startled the taller man. He looked back to Iori but the body language and tone of voice all pointed to Saku.

"Saku." He greeted.

"What's wrong?" She asked, settling back down on the stool.

"Wrong? There's nothing…"

"You can't fool me, y'know," She said, interrupting him. "What did Ryou do? I promise I'll make him pay."

Kaoru shook his head. "No, it's not him. My mother wants to meet him."

"Oh." She replied, her expression softening. She stayed quiet for a few seconds. She didn't know what to say. Her experience with her own mother didn't leave her with any advice to give. She spun around on the kitchen stool and watched him.

"Is it good?" She asked.

Kaoru nodded and he sat beside Saku. "At least I think. I told my mother how I felt about Ryou. Then she said she wants to meet him. I suppose that's good." He sighed, tucking behind a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I am nervous."

"That's not like you! If anything, that jerk Ryou should be nervous, being able to get to visit your place and meet your mother." Saku said, huffing her chest as she crossed her arms. Kaoru smiled and patted her head. She was easy to talk to and it always calmed him.

Saku smiled back at him, ready to talk again when the door rattled. They looked towards the front door as Ryou stepped through, greeting them. Kaoru immediately stood, knocking his elbow against the counter. Ryou quickly closed the door behind him, going to Kaoru's side as the blond cradled his elbow.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked.

Kaoru nodded, moving away from both the counter and Ryou. "Ryou! I want to, um! Dinner with me.. with me and my mom…" What started as a loud stammer ended up in a small whisper. Ryou stared at him, a bit bewildered.

"Can you.. repeat that?" He asked.

Kaoru nodded, his face turning red. He looked down at the floor then back to Ryou's face. "Can you come to my house and have dinner with me and my mom?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah, it's no problem." Ryou set his bag on the counter, making his way to the fridge. "Is it okay if Iori-"

"AND ME!" Saku shouted.

"-and Saku came too."

Kaoru slowly nodded. "Are you…sure?"

Ryou nodded, grabbing a can of whip cream from the fridge and a tub of ice cream from the freezer. Iori got up from the stool, walking around the counter to Ryou's side. Iori grabbed a bowl from one of the cabinets, setting it in front of Ryou as he began to scoop out ice cream for Iori.

"I've always wanted to meet your mother. I figured I should wait until you were ready to ask." He topped off the ice cream with whip cream and Iori took it away, smiling as he made his way to the living room. Kaoru stepped aside and walked over to Ryou.

He looked down and held Ryou's hand.

"Thank you." He said, a small smile gracing his face.

0o0o0o0o0o

Dinner with Kaoru's mother was pleasant. Ryou was only slightly nervous but compared to Kaoru, whom tittered about throughout the entire train ride to his home, he looked sanely calm. Kaoru's mother, a kind-faced woman, whom Ryou had to admit, was younger than he thought, welcomed Iori and himself into her home. Iori took to her almost immediately, helping her with the remainder of preparing dinner. Kaoru showed Ryou his room, which he had painstakingly cleaned until it resembled an inhabitable room beforehand. He led Ryou to the balcony outside his room so he could show him the sea in the distant.

"You've got a nice view here." Ryou said, leaning against the railing. The sun was beginning to set, setting the distant horizon in a blaze of purple, red, and orange. Kaoru nodded, watching the lights reflect along the surface of the ocean. Ryou glanced towards Kaoru and grinned. "So, how long did it take you to clean your room?"

At that, Kaoru turned red, quickly turning towards Ryou. "You noticed?"

Ryou smirked. "Your room smelled recently cleaned."

"I didn't want you to see… the mess." Kaoru said. It took nearly half a day to clean up all the trash and a few more hours to clean the dust and mysterious stains on the floor from who even knows what. Ryou turned back towards the horizon.

"I wouldn't have minded it but I really appreciate the thought." Kaoru looked at his profile, dark hair being gently swept back by the wind. A very content smile was shaping Ryou's lips and all Kaoru wanted to do was get the confidence he had as Endrance to stand a little closer to the younger man.

"Ryou!" Iori came running into the room, his face all flushed and smiles, as he held out a bowl of ice cream topped with sprinkles, strawberries, and chocolate syrup. "Kaoru's mom said we could have some."

"Is that right? I'd better go grab some before you decide to eat it all then." Iori giggled as he ran off, obliviously happy with the dessert. Ryou turned towards Kaoru. "You coming?"

Kaoru nodded, a hand clutching the hem of his shirt. "Of course."

0o0o0o0o0o0

It was close to midnight when the trio made it back home. Once Ryou put Iori to bed, despite Sakura's sleepy protest of not being tired, Ryou wandering into the living room and collapsed on the sofa.

"Your mother is a wonderful cook." He said, kicking his legs up.

"Thank you," Kaoru said, sitting down at the recliner next to the sofa. "Cooking is one of her hobbies."

"Tell me when you go back home so I can bake a cake as thanks for today." Ryou yawned, stretching out on the large sofa.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" Kaoru asked, looking at Ryou. Ryou hummed, suppressing one more yawn.

"I guess I should." He conceded after a thought. He straightened up and looked towards Kaoru. "Kaoru, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to but… I'm curious. Why did you become a shut-in?"

Kaoru looked down at his lap, his hands clenched together. He knew Ryou would eventually ask but he didn't mind. He trusted Ryou enough to tell him the details. "…It was because of Mia."

"That cat that AIDA took the form of?" Ryou asked.

Kaoru began to shake his head but he stopped. "Have you played the first version of The World?"

This time Ryou shook his head. "Nah, my parents really didn't like me playing video games when I was younger."

"Because of my foreign look, I had trouble making friends in school. I played The World because I wanted to change myself." Kaoru said. "I thought if I could be more outspoken, I could make friends more easily. It was during the first few logins that I met a player named Mia."

When he said her name, his smile softened. "I was a wavemaster and she was a blademaster but her character model was more like a humanoid-cat rather than human. She was the first person I became friends with in The World."

"I heard that animal-like models were rare back then." Ryou said.

Kaoru nodded. "It was, so she stood out a bit. But every time I logged on, she was there and we would go visit our favorite places. Sometimes we looked for aromatic grass." Kaoru paused once again as he looked to Ryou. "Do you know anything about the Second Network Crisis?"

Ryou thought it over. "Not a lot. Computers were failing and people were falling into comas. But things got better after December." It was around the time Ryou had woken up from his coma. But Ryou didn't say that now. Right now, Kaoru was still saying his story.

Kaoru nodded again and he began to recount some of the accidents that happened within game itself during that time. He told Ryou about the player Kite and his quest of helping a friend who had fallen into a coma by fighting their avatars.

"Wait, you mean even back then our avatars were causing trouble?"

"They were different; more like enemies than allies but still very dangerous. Kite went around fighting them. And Mia… Mia turned out to be one of them, Macha." Kaoru clutched his hands together. Even though Kaoru had long accepted the events that happened, it still hurt to think about that fatal battle. "He fought and defeated her and she disappeared."

"Is that when you decided to shut yourself in?"

Kaoru shook his head. "Surprisingly not. Months after the Second Network Crisis ended, Kite and I received a garbled email with the location of a dungeon. When we got to the bottom of the dungeon, Macha was there. We defeated it and Mia came back, but her memories from the time she first met Kite were gone. That was when I decided to stay with her in The World every hour of the day and started to shut myself in at home."

"One day she disappeared completely. I couldn't find a trace of her. When The World R:X launched, I created Endrance and began searching for her." Kaoru stayed quiet as he waited to see what Ryou's response was. He'd never shared this with anyone. Kaoru felt exposed and he didn't like it.

"What is Mia to you now?" Ryou asked. Kaoru blinked. He wasn't expecting that kind of reply.

"A beautiful memory." He said after giving it a thought. "You made me realize that I shouldn't try to live in the past."

At that, Ryou blushed and dismissively waved his hand. "The hell are you saying." He muttered. "I probably should've taught myself that."

Kaoru looked at him, curious as to what he meant but Ryou just shook his head. "I'll tell you some other time. We should probably get some sleep."

Kaoru nodded and he stood up. Ryou walked up to him, stopping the taller man from walking forward by holding his hand back.

"Ryou?"

"Thanks for telling me. I know it's not easy sharing something as difficult as this." Ryou said. "It feels like I can understand you more now." Ryou grinned and he walked off towards the bedroom. Kaoru stood there, staring at his hand, where Ryou had held it. He could feel his heartbeat pick up and he shut his eyes.

There was no doubt that he had fallen completely in love with Ryou now.

0o0o0o0o0

ahhhh im trash

so sorry for like this hella late update

this really really extremely hella late update

things happened