This fic is slightly AU so I apologize if any of the characters are a little OOC.

This doesn't stick to a canon timeframe and as a result there are mentions of episodes from various seasons but not in order. Also, Horatio has already found out about Kyle, the CSIs don't know about Natalia's past and there is no Marisol (I do like her but she doesn't fit in this story). This is a Natalia/Horatio story with other original characters so if you don't like then don't read.

Natalia Boa Vista had never felt so alone. It had been over a month since she had been uncovered as an FBI mole and still hostility lingered at every corner of the building. After her exposure, Natalia had resigned from the FBI and had tried desperately to resign from the crime lab too but the senior detectives were having none of it- telling both her and Horatio who she knew wanted her gone, that her contribution had been too great to be ignored and that technically she had done nothing wrong. Yet despite this, Natalia was still being ostracised and she truly wanted to leave the lab and start a fresh.

Coming to the lab in the first place had supposed to be a fresh start. It should have been a new beginning away from her old life and the pain that had been a daily part of it. Eight years ago a deliriously happy Natalia had married the handsome, chivalrous Nick Townsend thinking it to be the start of a fairytale life. However, soon this fairytale became a nightmare. Nick became increasingly controlling and after a while, emotionally and physically abusive, putting Natalia into the hospital many times and almost driving her to suicide. After a particularly fierce fight, Nick had broken her arm and after a traumatic ordeal she had been left for dead. It was then she had fled and gone to the authorities and Nick, for his attack, had been sentenced to imprisonment. And now, away from the spectre of her ex-husband, Natalia had to rebuild her life and learn how to be independent once more.

But she would not think about Nick; not after all that he had done to her. After all that she had endured, she deserved a new, happy life and she thought she had had it, finding for the first time in many years to be surrounded by a family of sorts. But now it was all gone and she once again found herself with nothing.

She felt tears threaten to spill at that thought, and coupled with the cold and accusing glances she was receiving from the lab workers including the CSIs, she quickly felt her emotions spiral out of control. Reaching the locker room, she sat down on one of the benches and placed her head in her hands, for once freely letting her tears of desperation and loss fall.

The last month or so had been hell. Everywhere she turned she had been met with a wall of silence. Her former colleagues like Valera had refused to speak to her and their unhappiness at running tests for her were clearly shown by the way they grudgingly presented the results before turning their backs on her. When she had tried to speak to Eric or Ryan they had ignored her and continued with their conversations whilst giving her hate-filled glances. Calleigh too ignored Natalia, acting as though she did not even exist. Even kindly Alexx had been cold to her when she had been down in autopsy.

Natalia knew she deserved it; after all she had betrayed them and broken their trust but yet it did not lessen the pain she felt as they each ignored her. Only Horatio had not said or done anything towards her; in fact Natalia had barely seen him in the last month, and when she had, she had only glimpsed his form, too short a time to determine what the Lieutenant was thinking. Not that she would have been able to tell anyway as she knew Horatio Caine kept his emotions hidden.

She could not tell how long she had sat there, crying on the bench, but she knew that she would not be disturbed and that no one would witness it. Nobody cared for her now. What little chance of being loved she had lost by her own conceited actions and Natalia felt hollow as a result. She had had her heart broken once, and had lost her friends and family through somebody else's actions but now when she had the best chance at rebuilding her life, doing a job she adored, she had screwed it up, once more losing all her friends. Natalia knew that she would always be alone. She could remember quite clearly when he had said the exact same thing, his menacing voice still echoing in her ears almost two years later.

Natalia Boa Vista, you are worthless. You do not deserve to be loved. Why would anyone love you? Look at you. You are weak, ugly and thick. Nobody will ever care for you...you will always be alone.

Natalia had tried desperately to prove that he was lying-that she would be loved and that she would never be alone. But like with all else in her life, he had proved to be right and Natalia found herself to be alone.

'I am worthless.' She whispered as she succumbed to that belief. Wiping her tears away, she stood up and grabbed her things before exiting the locker room, grateful that nobody had seen her cry.

However, unknown to Natalia she had been seen. A few rows away, behind some lockers, Horatio Caine had been listening and watching Natalia's tears feeling guilty at not curbing his CSIs hostility. Although he could not condone her actions, he knew that she had actually done no real harm to the lab. But despite this, he could not help but feel a little disappointed. He knew Natalia had a real potential as a CSI-that was why he had requested she be allowed to stay and his superiors, on seeing her excellent record, had agreed.

He had trusted her; they all had, but she had proved to him, once more, that trust was not something to be taken lightly. Even though a part of him wanted to be angry at her, wanted to ostracise her like the others as punishment for her betrayal, he found he could not stomach such thoughts.

For some reason, Horatio felt protective of Natalia, more so than the others-even Eric- as he had often noticed that she put a wall up around people as though she was protecting herself. Horatio's intuition told him that something had happened in her past to cause this. And now that she was staying at Miami-Dade Lab, he was determined to uncover what it was. But little did Horatio know that uncovering Natalia's secrets would change his life forever.

Reviews are always appreciated.