"Is… is it recording?" Wheatley wondered, his bright blue eyes filling the camera's view. He walked outside of the camera's view to an unseen door and called, "The red light means it's recording right? ... Oh!"

From its position, the camera could only see a messy bed with dull orange covers and the plain white wall its side was up against. He quickly stumbled back into the camera's field of view and got into a relatively presentable position on the bed.

"Um, hey guys!" he greeted, sounding cheerful, "And, I guess, welcome to my new show! I, well, borrowed a camera from GLaDOS and now I'm coming to you live, well not live, but coming to you from Aperture! Obviously, I'm the core that you played Portal 2 and read Average Life at Aperture Science for."

He paused for a second, wondering what to say next.

"So, uh, this is just a little show that I'm going to do weekly so our authoress can try to get back into the habit of writing," he explained, "She will also be taking requests for one-shots. So, let's get on with explaining the different sections of the show… wait a moment…"

~The Random Event of the Week~

He rustled around the room for a minute before finally finding a crumbled up piece of paper.

"Alright then, so, the first part of the show will be the co-host of the week, but since this is the first episode, it's just me," he began, "Next will be the… ah, the random event of the week. Basically, I spent the last week just wandering around the facility and following people around with the camera to see if I can film something amusing, and I filmed as follows!"

The camera cuts to a scene of Space and Curiosity, who were standing on a table, leaning against each other and singing at the top of their lungs:

"I can show you the spaaaaaace!

Shining, shimmering, splendid!

Tell me, space cop, now when did you last

Let your space decide?

I can open your space!

Take you asteroid by asteroid,

Over, sideways, and under on a

Magic space ship ride!

A whole new spaaaaaace!

A new fantastic point of view!

No one to tell us no,

Or where to go,

Or say we're only dreaming-"

The camera looked to the left at Chell, who noted seriously, "This is what we get for giving them caffeine."

"We really need to cut back on the Disney," Glados commented as the camera swung to the right to look at her.

"But, this is just so beautiful," Wheatley joked from behind the camera.

Curiosity and Space had gotten to the part of the song that split into a simultaneous duet.

"A whole new spaaaaace!" Curiosity sang in a surprisingly pretty voice.

"Don't you dare close your space," Space sang at almost the same time.

"A hundred thousand things to see!"

"Hold your space, it gets better!"

"I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far, I can't go back to where I used to be!"

"A whole new spaaaace!"

The camera cut back suddenly to Wheatley, who was staring distractedly off into the distance.

He shook himself. "You know, I spent a very, very long time just wandering around with that camera hoping to catch something good. I have hours of just useless footage. I wouldn't have to do that if I could just use footage from GLaDOS's cameras, but that would only happen if she gave me access to them and stopped threatening to slowly dip me into acid. Anyway."

He pulled out the sheet of paper again.

~The Prank of the Week~

"Next would be the prank of the week," he announced, "For each prank, I will go into someone else's room, make a slight change to it, and then hide the camera in it to film their reactions. Enjoy."

The camera changed again, this time to a room very similar to Wheatley's. The bed was the same but much cleaner, and the camera was in a position to see more of the room, like the white door and the wooden dresser with a lamp on it. The major difference (other than the tidier bed) were the Styrofoam cups filled to the brim with water covering every surface. Morality, her nose in a book, walked in and tripped on the first few cups. Falling over, she crushed and knocked over several of the cups on the floor and drenched her front side, barely saving the book from being soaked.

The camera switched back again.

"That was kind of a basic prank, very classic," Wheatley commented, "But for this first prank I targeted Morality since I knew she wouldn't get me back because she's so nice, which is also why I didn't really want to do too much to her. Anyway, you can request who to prank next and even how to prank them. So, moving on."

~The Dare of the Week~

"The next section is the dare of the week, which are provided by you, the reviewers," he explained, "For this first episode, I thought about asking Chell, but after hearing her dare, I figured I'd be better off asking someone who might actually care for my well-being. Like you, hopefully! So," he cleared his throat, "let's just move on to the next part."

~The Questions of the Week~

"The next section's the questions of the week," he said, "Once again, they come from you, so nothing this week. You can ask whatever you like, just stay within, you know, reason. I will pick a maximum of five, and if there's less then five, there will be whatever number there is, and if there aren't any, then we'll make them up."

~The Meme of the Week~

Wheatley let out an exhausted sigh. "We are finally reaching the end of the first episode," he said, "And I'm looking down at the bottom of the Word document and we are still less than a thousand words! It's felt like three thousand or something. Anyway, we will end each episode with the meme of the week, which for this week is…"

He reached for something on the floor off to the side out of the camera's view.

"The Companion Cube!" he exclaimed, placing the cube on his lap, "Which, we all know, came from the first Portal game when Chell had to carry it around for an entire test chamber and then incinerate it." He paused for a moment frowning, "She actually told me that she was pretty annoyed with it by the end, not to mention that we have had a few… problems with rabid companion cubes in Average Life."

He shrugged. "Anyway, that's… pretty much it. Yep, that's all I have for this first episode. Well, you can hopefully expect a new chapter every week, mostly on the weekends, and maybe this will bring Xelac out of this writer's block."

He leaned toward the camera and whispered, "Don't tell her I said this, but there are so many sections that require reviewer support so that she doesn't have to think about them herself."

He pulled back and continued casually, "She wanted me to give you puppy eyes to convince you to review, so I got this picture of a puppy's face to show you." He held up a photo of a cute puppy with big brown eyes and floppy ears. Awwww…

He put the picture away. "So, that is all for this chapter, review and give some dares and questions and whatnot and look for us next week. Er… goodbye!"

A/N: *smacks Wheatley across the head*

Yes, this really is a not-serious spin-off of ALaAS that I am writing to show that I'm not dead. And yes, I am accepting requests to help as well, but if you request something and it isn't exactly what you wanted it to be or if you request romance (which I am not good at) and it either ends up being friendship or it pokes fun at the pairing, please… don't… hurt me…

Ahem. Anyway, reviews will be greatly appreciated, I will hopefully get back into writing actual stories eventually, but until then, I hope this is amusing enough.