NOT AFRAID

A/N: please read

Title of the series: Not Afraid

Summary: This is a series of one-shots that resolves around Jack's and Janet's relationship. It starts here with 'Not Afraid' that gives name to the whole series, because this short passage singlehanded created it.

Genre: Romance, AU, and a little bit of everything else

Season/episode: Starting on season 4 - episode 2 - "The Other Side" to the end of season 8

Spoilers: Stargate movie and Stargate: SG1 seasons 1 to 8

Pairing: Jack/Janet

Rating: K+ (If anyone disagrees please let me know)

Warnings: Very small and very soft sexual innuendo. There won't be sexual situations descriptive or otherwise.

Disclaimer: Read profile

Acknowledgements: Big thanks to my beta wackyjacqs:-D

NOT AFRAID

Not Afraid

Chapter 1: Not Afraid

Season/episode: season 4 - episode 2 - "The Other Side"

I hear the impact on the iris, and I know that I've just executed a man. I did the right thing, I know it; but I look into her eyes, and she's looking back at me with distaste and fear. She never knew who I am; now for the first time she sees my real nature, and she fears me. She turns her back to me, and walks away. With that I know that she will never be mine, I know that she will never love me, and I let her go because I can't love a woman who fears me.

I stand on the ramp for what fells like hours. I feel the sorrow, the pain, the guilt and the darkness tied to my actions invade me. I close my eyes knowing that my team is no longer standing there, but when I open them a small brunette is standing by the closing blast door. She locks her eyes with mine, and walks slowly but determined towards me. I hear the impact of the blast door finally sealing the gate room, but all my focus is on her. I can do nothing but stare at her. What is she doing? Why is she walking towards me? Hell! Why is she now standing on the ramp facing me? She's mere inches away from me, and she's looking up into my eyes. Such a petite woman, unarmed, defenseless… she's vulnerable… I wouldn't need a second to kill her, and she knows it. Yet she looks at me fearless.

I observe as she takes her hands out of the pockets of her white coat, and with steady hands reaches for my weapon; and I keep staring at her hands as they disarm me slowly, and meticulously. First my rifle, then my gun; my zat, and my sidearm follow. Those same hands give the weapons to the nearest SF, who is looking astonished to the scene playing in front of him. Finally, her hands reach for my vest.

She's so close to me, and I can feel her fingers on my shoulders while she slides the vest off… I keep looking at her hands. I'm mesmerized with them. She touches me without a trace of fear, and I still don't know why she's doing this, nor why I'm allowing her to do so.

She's still holding my vest half way out when she locks her eyes with mine again, and says, "You won't see them shake."

Finally, I understand, she's trying to prove to me with actions, not empty words, that she's not afraid of me. She can see my real nature; she sees the darkness in me; she knows how dangerous I really am; but she's not afraid of me. She knows who I am. She does not fear me.

My vest goes off, and it's also passed to the stunned SF. She tilts her head to the side, and studies me. I haven't moved yet, I haven't said a word, so she's trying to decipher why. She seems to reach a conclusion, an answer, or a decision, because her head goes back to its normal position, she nods, turns around, and starts walking down the ramp.

She takes no more than five steps, and she stops.

"You're first for the check-up. You promised Cassie that you'll help her with her English homework."

Her words sink in me, but so does the peacefulness in her voice, and I follow her letting a small smile appear on my face. She's what I need, and she knows it. The sweetness in her voice and her smile tells me that she knows that I've received the message loud and clear. My smile grows, my step becomes determinate, and I follow her to the infirmary filled with hope on a new, happier life.

Teal'c and Hammond had been attracted to the control room by the commotion that the estrange scene had created, and observed the entire scene.

"What did just happen, Teal'c?" the General asked, a little astounded himself.

"I believe that O'Neill had finally found a worthy mate, GeneralHammond," the alien said in his ever solemn voice.

"That's what I thought. Make sure that he knows it too, okay Teal'c?"

"He does."

They both watch the colonel follow Janet out of the gate room, with a soft, small smile on his face. Hammond nods. The Jaffa is right, Jack knows, and the General leaves the control room knowing that Jack would be happy.

Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think :)