Anyone who knew anything about Natsu knew he had a bad temper, but on his last trip away from the guild, he'd gone far enough that he was questioned by the Council. A dark mage nearly died from the sheer amount of force and the number of times Natsu slugged him in the head, and when it was over, he was covered in blood and still so angry he could barely think.

Natsu felt like if he hadn't been stopped, maybe the mage would have died.

This dark mage ended up on the receiving end of Natsu's darkest rage because he'd captured Lisanna and at that time, thought breaking Natsu's morale by telling her he'd killed Lisanna was a path to victory. Even days after the incident, he couldn't deal with all the feelings that were dredged up.

Natsu felt ashamed that Lisanna had seen him like that, ashamed of himself, and most of all, shaken by the memories of that day he and Happy came home and everyone was crying because it was believed that she had died.

He'd taken a few days off, but even when he returned to the guild, his hands were bandaged because they were so cut up from the beating. Thankfully, nobody gave him any lectures, but the place was abuzz. People were talking quickly and quietly and in a way that it seemed like he wasn't supposed to hear what was being said.

In fact, the more he looked around, the more he realized that everyone was watching him. There were few in the guild whose eyes weren't trained on him, and they didn't seem sad; they just seemed…interested. Was it because they found out what he'd done? It wasn't exactly news that he lost his temper a lot, but he'd brought enemies closer to death in the past when forced to do so.

"What's going on, Natsu?" Happy asked.

"I dunno, Happy."

Natsu wanted to know what was going on, so he and Happy made their way to a table where Gray was sitting alone with a drink and a notebook, writing an account of his latest job down for the client.

"Gray, what's…what's going on?!" the Exceed inquired as he dropped onto the table.

The ice mage answered, "Lisanna left the guild, Natsu. Everyone is apparently way too interested in how you're going to respond."

It felt like a punch to the gut.

"Why? Is it because…" he stammered as his fist slammed into the table.

Gray answered, "It's not like she…" died? Yeah, even he knew not to say that, even in passing. "She's not going away or anything. I think she just decided she didn't want to be a professional wizard."

"But!"

Mirajane called his name from behind the bar and Natsu ran to her.

"Mira, is it true? Lisanna isn't in Fairy Tail anymore?"

"Would you go for a walk with me, Natsu? For privacy's sake. If you could leave Happy here for now, that would be a good idea I think."

Natsu was gripped his scarf, and anyone that had known him for a really long time knew that he did this when he was really upset about something. The scarf was his only inheritance from Igneel, so it made sense to Mirajane that he would try to take comfort in it.

After he nodded, he wordlessly followed her, unable to accept the idea that he'd done something bad and now Lisanna was gone again. Maybe she wasn't dead, but she wasn't going to be there anymore and he needed her to be. Even if he hadn't had it in him to become close to her again, just looking at her gave him strength because then he knew she was there and she was okay.

The dragon slayer felt like he needed her to be there so he could just set his eyes on her and remind himself that Lisanna was alive and well. He needed to see her smile even if he wasn't the one making her happy, and he needed to be around her scent because it reminded him that he shouldn't have the pain anymore.

At the same time, since Lisanna's return, he mostly observed her from a distance. There was a part of him that was absolutely terrified of becoming close to her again, because he couldn't deal with the pain of losing her. Natsu felt like a part of him died when he thought she had, and it wasn't like everything just went back to being great and happy because she returned.

After they'd been walking for a couple of minutes, Mirajane said, "First of all, thank you for going after Lisanna when she didn't come back from her job on time. I was with Master at the guildmaster's meeting, and Elfman was on a job with Evergreen, so we're so very thankful you were there for her."

Natsu didn't say anything at all to this.

"I was wondering if you could tell me what happened?"

When his face disappeared further under his scarf, she knew he really didn't want to talk about it. Yet instead of shutting down completely as Mira suspected he would, he asked, "Lisanna wasn't hurt, was she?"

"You saw her, Natsu. She had a couple of bruises, but nothing serious."

The young man felt embarrassed, awkward, but at the same time, he couldn't just leave the subject alone. "That's not what I mean. That guy…he said…" He couldn't finish the sentence at first, but a tremble of rage helped force the words from his lips. "He said he forced himself on Lisanna, and that when he was…done…he cut her throat. Is that why she's leaving?"

This was the first Mira had heard about a rape being involved, because Lisanna hadn't said anything. Whether that meant it hadn't happened or she just decided not to tell anyone was the big question, and considering how quickly Lisanna decided to leave the guild, her older sister couldn't help but wonder if maybe this had also been a part of that decision. At the same time, her throat hadn't been slit either, so it might have just been another bluff and she certainly didn't want to let an issue like that exist in the complicated relationship that her sister and Natsu had.

"Lisanna didn't say anything to me about that, Natsu. You shouldn't ask her about it. I doubt it happened, but if it did, I think she would want to hide it from you because of the way she feels about you."

"What the hell does that even mean?" he angrily spat. "Why would she want to hide anything from me?"

Mirajane started walking again. "Natsu, there are a lot of things you don't understand about my sister. If you'd been close to her since she came back, you'd understand that it's not a big surprise to Elfman and me that she made this choice."

"It's my fault she left? She's gone because I stayed away?"

"No, that's not it at all. She's not like you, Natsu. She's a sweet girl, who is gentle, kind, and loving. Lisanna doesn't like travelling away from home so much, or fighting, or any of the things that come with the life of a wizard. If you think back, can you ever remember her saying she wanted to become a wizard? Lisanna likes magic, and she loves everyone at Fairy Tail, but her heart was never in it," she explained.

When he stopped walking, she turned and watched as he seemed to sink into his own memories. There were memories where he and Lisanna played house, memories where she teased him about becoming his wife someday, memories where she basically insisted Happy was like their child, memories where they nursed a baby bird back to health, memories where she spoke about having kids of her own someday, and as hard as he tried, he couldn't remember even one where she talked about being a wizard.

When he realized the truth, he felt so stupid for not noticing. Even when he had to mourn her, he hated the loss of that future she spoke of, and in darker moments, he thought about what it would be like to grow up and have that life even though it filled him with grief and bitterness.

When his feet started moving again, he didn't say anything for a long time, and when he did, "Why did Lisanna stay if she didn't want to be a wizard?"

Mirajane took his hands into hers. "That's something you need to ask her. This is where she works now." When she let him go, she started back towards the guild, giving her sister a little smile that went unnoticed.

Natsu looked over at the school that he passed every day on the way to Fairy Tail and saw Lisanna, who was looking after a group of tiny children while they played.

"Lisanna!" he called as he jumped the fence.

When she looked up, she seemed a little nervous at first, but then smiled and waved. She was worried having a strange guy come around might get her in trouble, but literally everyone in Magnolia knew and loved Natsu, one of Fairy Tail's best. "Hi, Natsu!"

When he opened his mouth to tell her she needed to rejoin Fairy Tail, he remembered what Mirajane had told him and his own memories. Since it was obvious Mirajane told him that so he wouldn't try to convince her to rejoin the guild, the things he wanted to shout at the top of his lungs about how she should rejoin the guild died on his tongue.

Since Lisanna loved to take care of others and had spoken probably a hundred times to him about kids and never about being a wizard, he decided she was probably happier where she was than at the guild hall that was filled with violence and drinking.

He didn't know what to say to her, really, and he didn't know how to accept that she belonged somewhere other than Fairy Tail.

"So you already got a job?" he asked, feeling like kind of an idiot.

"Mhmm. I actually applied here about six months ago, but I changed my mind. When I came by a couple of days ago, they were really happy I was available because one of their teachers had to quit suddenly. I'm in charge of ten four-year-olds. I look after them during the day and help them start to learn things like how to hold writing instruments and numbers," she excitedly said.

For some reason, he felt like shit and he felt selfish because he wanted her to come back just so she would still be there. But what then? She could be a wizard and be in danger, or maybe she could be a waitress like Kinana and just serve booze all damn day while guys made perverted comments about how hot she was now that she was grown up.

Natsu felt like he was losing Lisanna again and he couldn't do anything to stop it. She'd slipped through his fingers and out of the world he lived in and all he could do was stand there and realize that she'd be happier where she was than in that world where he wanted her to exist.

The sad, helpless look that formed on his face was enough to make Lisanna's eyes water.

Then Natsu saw something from the corner of his eye and made a lightning-fast move to catch a little boy that leaned too far off the slide and fell. It was a welcome distraction, and Natsu put him down on his feet and gave him a pat on the head. "Be careful, okay?"

"Thank you," Lisanna mouthed to him as she took the boy by the hand.

"Michael, remember the rules about the slide. You go up the steps and slide right down on your bottom. If you do that again, you could get hurt. Like this."

Lisanna held onto the boy's hand as he went back up to the slide and then instructed him on using it properly. Natsu watched until he felt someone tug on his finger and looked down to find a tiny little brunette staring up at him.

"Hi, Mister. What's your name?"

"Natsu. What's yours?"

"Mandy. I like pink. Your hair is pink. Why is your hair pink?"

Natsu had often wondered this himself as he'd been teased a fair amount about it by Gray when he first came to Fairy Tail. "I dunno, actually. But, I like pink too. Don't tell anyone," he answered, holding a finger to his lips. "It's my ninja secret, nin-nin!"

She grabbed onto his finger tightly with one hand and pointed to a slide in another part of the playground that was fenced off and had equipment clearly designed for older children. "Can we?"

"You want to go on the big slide? That looks like fun, actually."

He looked over and found Lisanna swamped in a crowd of tiny little people that looked upon her with adoring eyes, like she was the best person that had ever existed. "Oy, Lisanna, can we go on the big slide?"

"I-I guess so, but Natsu, are you sure that's a good idea?" asked the woman who knew better than he that said slide was going to end with him nauseated at the bottom.

"All right! Let's go!"

Natsu and his newfound companion excitedly left in the direction of the big slide, and exactly one minute later, Natsu was face-down in the sand and the girl tugged on Lisanna's dress. "Mr. Bratsu has a booboo."

Lisanna sighed. "Mr. Bratsu will be okay. Mr. Bratsu has an upset tummy."

"Will he throw-up?"

"I really hope not."

Lisanna knew well that working with such young children, she would inevitably have to deal with all kinds of bodily fluids. Bathroom accidents, snotty noses, and yes, vomit were expected, but if Natsu was the first person to puke at her new workplace, well, she would probably just sigh and move on and tease him about it at some point in the future.

If she was even going to see him much in the future…

Playtime came to an end, and when she called for everyone to line up, she found the caboose of her little train of four-year-olds was Natsu, who just kind of followed along because he still wanted to talk to her.

There was snack time then, and then nap time, during which the children were watched by an elderly teacher in the Nap Room while Lisanna had time to prepare her classroom for learning, which gave them a chance to talk alone.

"Do you need help with anything?" he asked.

"I just need to put out crayons and paper at these tables. There's not much for you to do," she said.

Natsu sat down on one of the mats and watched her work. "Is this what you really wanted all along?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "You probably think it's really stupid, don't you?"

"I don't! I just…somehow I didn't realize. I feel stupid for that."

Yet, the more he thought about it, the more he understood that she was in a place that was probably a lot better for her. Lisanna was actually kind of delicate in a way, and for some reason, he felt like living a life she didn't want would eventually take that away. He didn't want that.

The preschool was so grossly removed from the world he walked in that it felt strange. Everything seemed happy, hopeful, and safe. Lisanna left the life where she had to fight for survival, or money, or anything else, for one where her main duty was to nurture and look after others. Here, no one would hit her, or hurt her, or even threaten to hurt her. And he wouldn't have to worry anymore, because she wouldn't be in danger.

Natsu thought about all the times he'd been beaten up, yelled at, threatened, and pushed beyond the limits of what he thought he could handle and realized he didn't wish his life on anybody, not even his enemies – but especially not Lisanna. It took a special breed of human to contend with the life of magic, and he knew in his heart that she wasn't that kind of person and he was.

Alive or dead, they'd always been destined to part ways, and something about understanding that broke his heart in a way he didn't want to be broken again.

Lisanna's eyes started watering again when she saw his expression. "Don't look at me like that, Natsu. You can come visit me whenever you want. I still live with Mira and Elfman too. I'm not moving away, I'm just getting a different job, that's all."

Since it felt like a million of his emotional scabs had been pulled off already, he decided he couldn't really stay any longer or things were going to happen and words would escape that he wanted to keep inside of him forever. If she was in a place that would make her happy, that was good enough. It had to be, right?

As he stood and prepared to leave, he really just had one thing left to ask her. "I was wondering…if you weren't happy at Fairy Tail, why did you stay as long as you did? Now when I think about it, maybe you knew a long time ago that it wasn't the right place for you."

This question caused Lisanna to freeze for a moment, and she didn't look up when she answered him. "Well, Fairy Tail is the only family that I've ever known. I was hesitant to leave them. That's all."

"That's a lie, Lisanna. I know you well enough to know that."

Those big, sad blue eyes met his. "I felt that way even before the anima took me to Edolas. We were fifteen and I had all these feelings. I just wanted to be close to you, but when I finally got back, I realized things would never be the same. I needed to still see your face when you were around, but after what happened, I realized this isn't good for me or you."

Then, she walked up to him and gave him a big hug, and he realized for the first time in ever that as adults, she was actually kind of small compared to him. He wrapped his arms around her, and he didn't know what to say, or if anything should be said.

And as Lisanna embraced him, she felt…strangely lost. For her, the decision to leave the guild was a silent acknowledgement that she and Natsu weren't good for each other. They almost never spoke even though they watched each other a lot, and as wonderful as their childhood years had been together, things were never going to be the same. For him, she stayed in a lifestyle she didn't want and for her, he had suffered too. Seeing his face all twisted in pain and anger when he saved her was more than enough to convince her that it was time to close that chapter of their lives for good.

"You take care of yourself, okay?"

What the dragon slayer wanted to say is that no, it wasn't okay. Nothing about what was happening was okay with him and he didn't even know how any of it could be made right. If she would be happier away from the guild, then he wanted her to be away from the guild. Yet, even if they weren't close, he still wanted her to be there in his life so he could just remember her.

Lisanna's scent would soon disappear from the guild, and then, he'd only be able to see or smell her if he visited her, and that went very contrary to his rule of keeping a lot of distance between them. It was painful for him, and he knew even then that if he didn't want her vanish from his life completely, he'd have to face a lot of things that he didn't want to deal with.

Having Lisanna in his arms gave Natsu the courage to admit to himself that it felt like an end and he couldn't bear the thought of that. The idea that she might disappear from his life again scared him, even if it was distance instead of death that threatened to take her away.

Natsu didn't want Lisanna to go away again in any way, shape, or form, but he couldn't bring himself to say it, so he broke the hug and he wished her well like she was just some person that meant not a lot to him as he left.