I pulled the car over and saw Ponyboy by mum and dad's grave, sobbing, it pained me to no end to see this of my youngest brother. Biting my lip with a sigh, I got out of the car, holding his letter in my hand- I was in no rush to get there so I took my time.

"Ponyboy, baby, are you okay?" The only thing I was worried about was him, I didn't care about the letter that was burning a hole through my hand- that no longer mattered to me.

"Darry, what're you doing here?" He whispered with wide eyes as he looked up at me. He looked scared, like I'd punish him any second if he said the wrong thing- but, I finally saw something... it was in his eyes, it was pain. Sorrow and anxiety was staining his childhood innocence- how long had he been hiding something like this inside of him- why didn't he talk to me or Soda?

"Your principle called and told me you weren't at school. Baby, don't scare me like that again, I thought something bad happened to you" I got down to my knees and I just held him, I held him how momma used to hold us when she found us crying. I held him like a father would to his little girl.

"Why did they have to go? Why did they have to die? I miss them so much!" He clutched onto my shirt. "Why did she have to die?! Why did he have to die? I feel so lost without them."

"Oh Pone, sometimes God is cruel. He takes away the people we love so much, but, one thing I do know is that I will never go anywhere, no matter what. Pony they loved you, you were their baby. They will never really be gone... their memory is imprinted into our minds, so they can never really be gone. As long as you keep remembering them, they won't disappear."

"Do you promise?" He looked like a little child right at this moment. His eyes were wide and innocent, tears brimming, his bottom lip jutting.

"Ponyboy, I found this in your drawer" He gasped, gulping as he yanked it out of my hand.

"Y- you read it!" The tears overflowed as anger overtook him, he stood up, his body shaking.

"Pony it's okay!"

"No, it's not okay! I'm g-gay! I'm a fag, a queer, a flit, I'm going to hell, I'm disgusting, I'm-"I cut him off before he could continue.

"Still Ponyboy Curtis" He looked up at me, surprised etched onto his face.

"You... don't hate me" I went on my knees so I was down to his level; I grabbed his cheeks and made him look into my eyes.

"Nothing and I repeat nothing, could ever make me hate you. I love you, and if mum and dad were here right now they would not hate you either. If you want, I can help you tell Soda too"

He nodded and I grabbed his hand and helped him up off of the ground.

"Let's go home baby"

"Darry?" He mumbled interrupting me, clenching onto my hand so I couldn't move forward. When I looked at him, he looked almost defeated.

"What's wrong, kid?"

"I love Johnny Cakes. That's how I realised I was gay. I don't know what it is about him that makes me want him. I just... I don't know. I want him to be mine for the rest of my life but I know I can't have him because... he isn't gay and it's wrong. People like me get killed, especially in neighbourhoods like this. I don't know why people are so threatened by it"

I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't know how to make him feel better, or how to reassure him. I tried to think of what our mother would say to him, but I came up empty, so I just wrapped my arms around him and whispered "I won't let anyone hurt you". And for awhile, that seemed to be enough for him because he looked up at me and gave me a tiny smile.

"Don't you ever run off on me again without telling me where you are, you hear me, baby?"

"Yeah, I hear you"

Pony's P.O.V

"Hey there Pone" Johnny grinned sitting next to me on the couch- he was real close to, so close that I could feel the heat of his body and it was leaving me flustered. I saw a bruise on his cheek- it was new and looked awfully sore.

"Geez Johnny, what happened there?" I mumbled, leaning over to touch his swelling cheek gently.

"It's nothing, my dad just angry at me again I spilt my milk. It's no big deal Pony, it's just a bruise" He muttered after seeing my angered face.

"I don't care, your father shouldn't do that to you. You don't deserve it Johnny cakes" I swiped my finger across his cheek- all he did was stare, a small confused look lingering in his eyes.

"I'm home!" Soda yelled, slamming open the door, and I moved my hand back like I was getting burnt by a fire.

"I- I gotta go, me and Dally are going to Buck's tonight. See ya'll later"

"Bye Johnny!" Soda grinned, as he launched himself beside me. "So Pone how was your day, darlin'?"

"Ponyboy" Darry mumbled, giving me a sombre smile. "I think it's time to tell Soda whilst it's just us, baby"

"Tell me what?" Soda asked, cocking his head to the side confusedly. "What, what?"

I looked down- I wasn't ready to tell him. I was scared to be entirely honest. Scared of what he would say, of how he would react... I think Darry knew how I was feeling because he stood by my side, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder for moral support.

"Tell me what?" Soda repeated.

"Soda..." I trailed off. "I'm gay"