The One That Got Away
Used to steal your parents' liquor In another life In another life
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I'd be losing you
I would be your guy
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
"Please…don't leave me." I saw him swallowed hard and drop his bag to the floor. "I will do anything if you stay right now. Please Kendall." My nose and Cheeks were red and tears were pouring out of my eyes. I moved into him, and he pulled me into his chest. I wrapped tight around his torso and sobbed into his chest.
"Logan I'm sorry…I can't do that." I sobbed harder and squeezed around him tighter. "I love you so much…but I have to…" I pushed away hard and shook my head.
"You don't have to do anything Kendall! Except stay here with me. Forever! Like you promised me freshman year!" He reached up and cupped my face. I aggressively pushed his hands down and he sighed and nodded. He picked up his bag and I looked down still crying.
"I have to go." I turned my head and sobbed out hearing him turn on his heels, and listened to the clink of his boots hit the floor.
I woke up, eyes leaking and sat up quick. I wiped my eyes feign more tears pour out. I squinted hating the sun blaring through the open window. There was a heavy breeze coming through and I could see coming over the mountains, clouds. Dark, stormy clouds. Perfect.
I laid back, trying to catch my breath and get his face out of my head. Every night for the past 8 years all I could see was him. Every time I turned on the TV I heard something heart breaking about the war, and heard more names of solders who died. In my sick twisted mind I knew the day would come where I would hear Kendall Donald Knight but it never happened. And now after 8 years serving as a Navy Seal, he was coming home, for good. I was still on the fence on weather that was a good thing or not.
"Shit baby…did I wake up you." I turned my head and smiled seeing Kevin walk out of the bathroom, tying his tie.
"No…I was…" He sat on the edge of the bed and put the back of his hand on my forehead. I was sweating.
"You were having another dream about him again weren't you?"
"This one was of him leaving." He sighed and wiped the sweat off my forehead and shook his head.
"It's because he's coming home tonight its it?" I closed my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. "You know you don't have to see him. James doesn't own you." I opened my eyes and gave him a death glare. He got up and walked to our shared dresser. "What? He doesn't, and its not his life. If you don't want to see your ex, who by the way left you for the military, then you don't have to see him." I pushed up on my elbows and watched him slip his belt on and then grab a pair of black socks.
"Do you have a new case today?" He nodded and avoided all eye contact. "Do you think it would be healthy to see him?"
"I think whatever you want to do, is great and I'll be there for you 100% of the way." I laid back and started pushing the blankets of my bed. "I just wish your friends liked me." I closed my eyes and groaned.
James and Carlos seemed to have a huge problem with Kevin, mostly because it meant that Kendall and I were actually done seeing each other. I guess for them it was like kids going through a divorce with their parents. They didn't know who's side to be on and I bugged me that they thought they had to choose a side. Most of the time, hence why Kevin was pissed, they chose Kendall's side because he wasn't here to defend himself. I got that…I just wanted everything back to normal.
A cold hand rubbed up from my crotch to my collar bone. I opened my eyes and Kevin bent down and kissed me softly. I held the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. When he pulled away we were both gasping for air. I sat up a little and kissed his forehead.
"Have a good day at work." He smiled and nodded.
"I will. Do you want me to stop by the bar or…"
"Come by the bar. You can meet Kendall." Kevin straightened out and rolled his eyes.
"Oh yay for me." I sighed and he smiled walking out grabbing his coat.
I got dressed slowly and left the house fast, not bothering with breakfast. The drive to the bar was short but cold. I only had on a thin long sleeved shirt and sort of tight jeans because I didn't think the storm was moving this fast. But it was and I was frozen by the time I walked up the stairs and into the bar.
The bar was mine. Well I was co-owner with Carlos. We had this awesome idea for a sports bar that had a small stage and a couple of poll tables. So all the money I didn't use for college (scholarships are amazing) and the money he had saved to just have we bought this little place and turned it into a huge money making bar. I got a master's in business so I handled the finances and marketing while Carlos handled the food, drinks, and entertainment side. We worked well together rarely arguing, because we were making a lot of money. There was nothing to argue about that.
Carlos was standing behind the an old basketball sweater on, with the hood pulled up. He was looking at a few pieces of paper and had his phone pressed to his ear. I sat in front of him at the bar and he looked up smiling.
"That fucking bitch cleared out my bank account. I'm on the phone with the fraud department because they can track where she is and get my money back in two days." I shook my head and rubbed my hands together to warm them.
"What did I tell you about her?" He flipped my off and pushed his hood off. "It's fucking freezing out there."
"It's called winter genius." He grinned and then quickly stopped and stared off into space. "Yes I'm still here! Okay…so what does that mean…right…no she's an ex…I made the mistake of letting her use my credit card once…yes…really?" He nodded and I turned hearing the door open. I watched James walk in holding onto a fairly big box. He set it on the bar next to me and smiled big. "No that's great! Yes that is my insurance company…no thank you sir!" Carlos hung up and put his phone in the front pocket of his sweater. "I'll have my money back in 7 to 10 days!" I smiled and he looked at the box weird. "What's with the box bro?"
"Well…" James reached in and pulled out an old jersey. Number 10. My heart fluttered and I had to look away. "Kendall's mom thought it would be a good idea to have some of his old things here for the party tonight to make him feel at home." Carlos nodded and I swallowed hard. "You still okay with this Loges?" I turned to him and he gestured to the box of stuff.
"I'm fine. I just need a favor. Please for the love of God stop being dicks to Kevin." James chuckled and tossed the hockey jersey back in the box.
"Awe did the poor little baby cry?" I looked down at my hands on my lap and James shifted next to me. "I'm sorry Logan. The guy is a pretentious, egotistical jackass. He is giving the gays a bad name because he little fits into every stereotype. I didn't know that was what you liked."
"That's the problem James. You think you know what I like, and what I want, but you don't. And the last time I checked, Kendall broke up with me, so just get over it and move on like I did. We are never going to be together again." I pushed off the stool and walked to the back where my office was and slammed the door shut.
I sat down in the chair hard and sunk back into it breathing out hard. I hated admitting to myself but James was right about Kevin. He was the a typical gay but I didn't care. I have given the last two years of my life to this man and I had fallen in love with him. Still…
There was that burning sensation running through my body and I quickly stood up and pulled out my wallet. I say back down, scooting closer to my desk and opening my brown leather wallet. I reached in behind my money and everything out and grabbed the old worn out white envelope. I tossed my wallet to the side and carefully turned the envelope around. My name was written on it in a beautiful cursive handwriting that could only belong to Kendall. For a dude he had beautiful handwriting.
I turned it back around and opened it, still very carefully. This was 8 years old and still I could read it.
I remember getting the letter two months after Kendall left for Iraq. It came in another bigger envelope where he wrote my address and the return address. After reading the letter as many times as I did, I seriously debated sending it back, but didn't have that kind of strength.
I gently unfolded the note and set it on my desk. I took a deep breath in and silently read to myself.
"My dear Logan.
I really should have paid attention in geography. I had no idea Iraq was so freaking hot! And all of the gear and equipment we carry around doesn't help. I definitely should have done my own homework instead of just copying down your answers. At least I passed.
I got my first assignment. I can't tell you what it is right now, but someday in the very far future I will. I'll tell you exactly what they do to 18 year old kids fresh out of high school. I'm starting to think college would have been the better choice.
I know I left with us not on good terms and I'm sorry for that. I never want you to think I chose protecting the country and fighting for our right is more important then you. Nothing is. But this is something I had to do. For myself and I know it's hard to understand because you're right. I did promise you forever and I broke that promise. But I can't go back on it now and even if I could, I don't think I would.
I don't want you locked up in your room sticking your nose in as many books as you can, shutting everyone out. I want you to go out. Meet new people. Live your life! Go on that stupid roller coaster Carlos is always trying to get you on. Jump without being afraid you'll fall. And most importantly find someone. Don't sit around and wait for me. I want you to be happy Logan and I know the only way you can be happy, is if you move on from me. I know this is really shitty of me to break up over a note that probably won't get to you soon but I need you to know I love you no matter what. Please make yourself happy wand find a guy who won't leave you. If not for yourself, for me. Please Logan.
I hope you have a great first year of college. Don't let the work stress you out. I know how you get. Tell your parents I said hi and most importantly…I love you. With all of my heart.
Sincerely Kendall."