A/N: Epilogue to "Years of Regrets".

Taking The Shame To The Grave

by Monkan

His footsteps carried him down the path of the dark hall. Through the cracks in the shoji-doors he could see humans looking at him. The stench of the place made his skin crawl and he resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose in disgust. The place reeked of sex and rot. If it weren't for the important fact of why he was there he wouldn't had taken a single step inside this place.

He stopped outside the door and looked at it. It looked just like any other door in this place, but what hide behind them was far more precious than anything. His hand reached up, worn from the long years of life but still elegant. He pushed the door open and was assaulted by the more intense stench that resided inside the room. He had to put up a hand to shield his sensitive nose from it. How anyone could live inside this odour was beyond him but then again humans didn't have the same sense of smell as demons did.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room right away, only a little oil lamp gave light in the otherwise cut of room. There were no windows and nothing that really connected to the outside world. To his nose and eyes, even the dust had become a nightmare. Not long did it take before his eyes caught the single bed in the room and its owner.

He crossed the room without making any sound and looked down on InuYasha. This being before him was nothing like the hanyou in his memories. Gone were the wild, clean hair that now was dirty, clumpy and mattered to his head. Gone were the healthy tone of his skin and left were only a sickly grey, the skin was even shallow on his face and the filthy yukata he wore did nothing to hide just how thin InuYasha.

He could had stood there for a long time, thinking about all the changes in his little brother and how much had changed from many many years ago but now wasn't the time for it. Sesshoumaru bend down and gently picked up his little brother into his arms. The creature in his arms hardly weighted anything at all any more. Where once he had face a worthy opponent in his little brother nothing was left in him.

Without glancing back he took InuYasha from the room, he passed the owner of the whore house whose head laid separated from his body. For once in his life, Sesshoumaru felt like spitting on the humans corpse but refrained from doing so.

When he came outside InuYasha actually whimpered as the light assaulted his eyes. He tried to turn away from it and the pain soaring through his mind.

Sesshoumaru was aware of this but just as soon as he came outside he stood face to face with his son. His son looked down at the hanyou in his father's arms. Little did he remember his uncle other than that one time he had seen him with his father. But now he grieved for this creature wasn't like the one in his memories.

They left the village and the scared humans. He promised himself that he would take care of InuYasha for the rest of his life. Or what was left of it.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sesshoumaru sat now beside InuYasha and cared for him. He feed him, cleaned him, stayed with him. He refused to sleep, others may say what they wanted but he refused to turn his back on his only brother now that he needed him the most. But InuYasha still wasn't aware of anything around him.

He had no idea how InuYasha came to be in that human whore house. Or why he hadn't heard of it until now. It was apparent that InuYasha had been there far longer than just a few days. From the diseases that racked his body, to the old scars, and to other signs he didn't want to think of. He blamed himself. He should had kept an eye on InuYasha after his human friends died. He should had taken him in, send someone after him... something. But instead of that he had gone on as normal, trying in his own way to protect InuYasha. From himself. And it had almost killed InuYasha.

All his life he had tried his best to keep InuYasha safe from the shame that he carried with him.

No matter how much he distanced himself from InuYasha or how much he tried to fight it, his love for his own blood brother grew stronger every time he saw him. Even after he chose a female mate, even after his son was born and grew up his love for InuYasha was the greatest love he had ever felt. His mate had realized it and being the proud youkai she was she had said and done nothing. A problem that was never spoken of and never known by others was best kept untouched. She didn't want to pull dishonour over her new family.

Sesshoumaru buried his face in his hands. How could he had been so stupid. What he had thought done for the best had driven InuYasha to end up like this. A broken, filthy, abused whore.

He had seen it. He had seen the left behind traces of what had happened to his InuYasha. The stench of other humans was deeply embedded in his skin, it wouldn't disappear.

If only he could take away the pain, if only InuYasha would wake up. Then he could ask for forgiveness.

-o-o-o-o-

He entered the room without a sound. He saw his father sitting beside his little brother unmoving and uncaring of what happened around them. His eyes was staring of some place far away and not even when he spoke up could he get his fathers attention.

He had know that there were something different between his father and uncle but until now he had never known what. It had come to him when he came to tell the news to his father that he had found InuYasha. The look in his fathers eyes and his lack of response was the beginning but now he was sure.

His father had been the perfect youkai, his cruelty, his leadership, how he tolerated no objections or fiends. He was the most perfect youkai ever to have lived. His beauty and deadliness, nothing was beyond him but there had always been a loneliness that no one could fill. A piece of his heart that was sealed away but now he knew.

At first he had been confused, then angry that someone else that even hadn't been a part of their lives was more loved than them. Then it had changed to pity and last understanding.

It hadn't made it any lighter to know that your own father loved another more than you, much less a hanyou but they hadn't met in many years and he couldn't really blame them now.

They had, for he was sure that InuYasha had once too, never been able to love each other freely. Their whole life they had been chained by others, responsibility and guilt, honour and dishonour. Two worlds that should never touch each other. And now when he saw his father he felt sorrow for them.

He placed his hand on his fathers shoulder and send him a silent prayer. Then he left.

For he felt that they needed what little time they had left.

He was sure his father had known ever since he picked up InuYasha that the hanyou was dying.

-o-o-o-o-

Years have went by and I've watched this whole time my father and uncle. Ever since my uncle, InuYasha woke up he has improved both in body and spirit but the disease is still in his body and were just waiting to claim him. My father have always been next to him and watched over him. It took many months, years in fact, until InuYasha even opened his eyes. It took another year until he was speaking again, although it was raspy and brokenly. I heard his voice for the first time, I still wonder what it would sound like before everything.

Ever since I reached adulthood I've taken over the ruling of our realm. Leaving father to care for his little brother. He hardly cares what happens to his land, all he can think about is his guilt and... most likely, the love he feels in his heart. Something they have never spoken of.

I've seen them in the garden. Father carried InuYasha outside to share the day with him. I watched them as my uncle laid in my fathers arms, his hand reaching out and slowly how the blossom falls into his hand. They both looks so relaxed and happy that I can't interrupt them. In their world, only they exist. The light that falls over them seems to give its blessing and telling my uncle to get well soon.

They don't say anything to each other of what they were feeling, they just enjoyed the closeness of each other. Even though they could probably feel the tension of attraction between them they never acted out on it. Was it out of kindness for my mother? Or some other reason? I will probably never know. My mother have also seen them, but being the youkai she is she bears this shame. I know she wishes sometimes that InuYasha were dead but I've seen the face she makes when she witness my fathers face when he's with InuYasha. I know she never hates them. I always loved her for that strength in her.

My uncle's time in this world are coming to an end. I can see it as well as smell it. And so can my father. I don't know how much longer he can hold on. He's in pain and his body is racked with the sickness. As time have went by Father have watched his little brother falling further and further away from him. The only thing that have kept him alive this long was only the strong blood of their father, my grandfather. The blood that connects them and condemn them. I don't think that my father would ever admit this because of its selfishness but I'm sure he was glad for their blood running in InuYasha, it kept him alive a little longer so that he could hold him at least one more time in his arms. Nothing else mattered as long as he had InuYasha.

I could never compare up to that.

There's nothing left we can do, InuYasha will soon meet his end and all I can do is hope he departs peacefully.

-o-o-o-o-

The flicker of the light illumined the room, the cold of the night was kept out and didn't affect the deathly pale hanyou in the bed. He rested his head in the lap of Sesshoumaru. The slender fingers stroked the soft hair on his head. In one corner of the room stood two youkais. One, an older female and the other a young male. They didn't say anything or moved as time went on its way.

Sesshoumaru sat with his eyes half closed as he listened to the faltering heartbeat of the hanyou in his arms. Just being made him forget everything, the shadows that played over them was ignored as he took in ever line of InuYasha's face. When his instincts suddenly flared up he gently reached out and placed his hands on InuYasha's chest, one sprawled out over the weak heart while the other one was placed over the hand that rested there.

InuYasha opened his eyes and looked up at Sesshoumaru's face. He gave a weak smile before; "Don't cry for me."

And so his heart ceased it's weak beating and stopped.

Sesshoumaru didn't move, he stared down with clear eyes. His mind perfectly clear and his heart unclouded. He was fully aware of the youkai who stepped forward. He looked up at his son and he felt no doubt in his heart. He felt no regret and no anger. He could finally rest.

"I love you." he said to his son and mate whom had watched their last moment together. He then leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"But not enough to keep you here with us." said Sesshoumaru's mate as she leaned forward and placed a kiss first on her mates cheek and then one on InuYasha's forehead. "I hope you both get a second chance to tell each other the truth."

She stood up and walked with her arm around her son's shoulder, "Come, my son. Let the dead have a moment of peace."

The young ruler of the western land looked over his shoulder at his dead father and uncle, and he couldn't help but think that they looked truly happy.

"They never said anything." he whispered, "Not even at the end."

"I know." the female youkai whispered back. "I think they decided a long time ago. To break it at the end would make everything, even their lives, meaningless. So the reason why they didn't say they loved each other was to take their shame to the grave."

-o-o-o-o-

"Are you coming or not?" shouted a voice through the house. "I'm leaving without you."

There were a loud bump and a curse before a person came rushing down the stairs. "I'm ready. I'm ready." he said as he braided the last of his long white hair and secured it. His school bag was thrown over his arm and his school uniform wasn't buttoned all the way up.

He gave the other a big toothy smile as the other glared at him. "How many times do I have to tell you to get up earlier so we don't have to rush?"

"And miss thirty minutes of sleep?" the youngster looked shocked. "No way in hell. Besides..." he then purred as he leaned forward until he almost leaned against the other. "You made sure last night that I was to tired to get up early today."

The other placed an arm around the teenagers waist and smirked. "I didn't hear you complain, little brother. In fact, you were rather demanding last night, remember? Four times!"

The other had enough time to feel flushed before he pushed away from the other and headed for the door. But when he felt rather than saw the all-to-satisfied-smile he felt slightly irked and decided on a moment.

He turned around and before the other knew it his arms fell around his neck and his body pressed against his. He rubbed himself slightly against the older one before he whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine. "And do you know WHY I am so demanding?" he ended it with a lick over the lobe, earning a gasp.

The next moment he let go and ran to the door, "It's because I LOVE YOU!" he screamed back over his shoulder as he ran out and to school.

"Don't you have any shame about us, InuYasha?" he was asked as the other caught up with him easily.

InuYasha didn't even take a moment to think about it as he laughed at his older brother, "None at all."

The End!