title: Scintillation Model
pairings: pokeshipping; contestshipping (and other minors)

summary: "We're going to make this work, Misty. You're the contestant, and you're pretty, you've got this. You've got your best friend, Brock, as your coach. But most importantly, Ash is the judge, and he is our key to victory."

notes:

- this is a rewrite; so you may not recognize the story when i catch up to updates!

- as always, i'm aware this is utterly ridiculous and at some (all) times, nonsensical. read at your own risk! ;)

- um, there's also a lot of dumb cartoon references! kudos if you can find them.

disclaimer: i don't own pokemon!

0. home sweet home

"...You're joking."

Daisy Waterflower's face morphed into one of a triumphant smirk. "Do I look like I'm kidding, Ketchum?"

Ash didn't respond to that.

But really, what was he supposed to say? The Kalos League was over as of yesterday. As a tradition, Ash would make a series of phone calls the next day to all of his friends to give them the status quo. That afternoon, he had started with Iris, then Cilan, then Dawn... the calls ended up stretching on into the dark hours of the evening. He usually saved Misty and Brock for last.

However, as one could clearly see, it was not Misty he was talking to on the Pokemon Centre's webcam. It was a blood relative, though Ash had come to doubt that fact several times.

"Why me?" Ash decided to ask for the millionth time.

The current predicament (the one not being Misty's strange absence): Daisy of the Cerulean Gym was attempting to recruit Ash Ketchum as a judge for a beauty pageant. Need it be repeated?

Violet popped up beside the blond whilst ruffling her dark curls. "Hey, like, why not you?" She shrugged nonchalantly but smirked as if daring him to challenge her.

"I'm not into that kinda thing!"

The sisters nearly fell over at Ash's outburst.

"It's nothing too bad, don't you worry about that," remarked Violet after recovering. She sweatdropped as she stared at Ash with disbelief.

"Besides, like, the only problem I see here is that you think you're totally biased towards Misty!" Daisy sent him a suggestive wink, and Ash blanched before shifting his gaze to the ceiling.

"No way!" he denied, crossing his arms across his chest.

Daisy and Violet shook their heads, exchanging glances akin to "He'll like never grow up, right?"

Ash sighed and wondered if he would ever make progress with these two. It was clear he wasn't going to do it! "Okay, if we're done here, can I please talk to Misty— "

"I know what happened at the league."

Ash almost fell out of his chair.

"Wait, what?" Ash leaned in towards the screen, slightly hysterical. "What do you know?"

"Oh yes, like, that new lovely traveling partner of yours..." The smirk rose on Daisy's face again, unwavering. "I'm sure everyone would love to hear about that little incident."

Ash blinked, disbelieving. "You're blackmailing me."

The sisters laughed.

"You bet my sweet ass I am!"

&.

"Have you ever wished to escape this dreadful planet and start a civilization on Mars and become the queen of an alien army and have great sing-a-longs with them?"

"...No, Misty. I haven't."

"I have."

Misty sighed longingly at the dream, while May, who was sitting beside her, seemed slightly disturbed. They both sat with their feet immersed in the swimming pool of the Cerulean Gym.

"It won't be that bad," May convinced her. She put on a bright smile and nudged Misty with her shoulder. "Really! It's not like you'll have to do it alone. Everyone will get to experience it with you!"

"That's the thing, May!" Misty moaned and dropped her head into her hands. "I've been scheduling the reunion party since forever! And now that I'm finally doing it, everyone gets to come watch me make an utter fool out of myself."

"An utter fool?" Her brunette companion raised an eyebrow. "It's just a beauty pageant."

"Just?" Misty repeated melodramatically. "It's in no way just."

May realized that consoling her ginger friend would be no easy task. "OK, so it's bad. At least it won't even compare to all of the embarrassing things I've done."

"You got that right!"

A very familiar, boyish voice interrupted their conversation. Max burst through the doors, stopping to grin at May. He was apparently very proud of his timely entrance.

May was not amused. "Can't you go be stupid somewhere else?"

"Not until four."

"I'm going to kill you."

As Misty laughed despite herself, Tracey tailed behind Max with a sheepish grin. "Hey Max, why don't we go over to Pallet? I'll let you use Professor Oak's brand new Pokedex!"

Max seemed much more enthusiastic after that. Tracey catered to an excitable Max as he ushered him out, leaving the girls to themselves. Misty mouthed a silent "thanks", reminding herself she owed him a favor later on.

"Hey, why don't you join with me?" Misty's eyes brightened at her idea. It was brilliant! Moral support would solve everything!

"I don't know..." May's voice was hesitant. She fidgeted nervously, a tick of hers that Misty was beginning to recognize. The skittish girl was right in owning a skitty, for that matter.

The lights of the gym begin to flicker. Misty sighed and got up to go inspect the switch. "I bet my sisters forgot to pay the bill."

"Sucks." May joined her hands behind her back, tiptoeing innocently past her. "I guess we'll have to go take care of it ourselves since there's no way we'll be seeing them—"

"I'm making you do it," Misty said immediately.

May relented with a sigh, "Dammit."

"Knew you would see things my way." Misty's smirk was slightly terrifying to May when she pat her shoulder cheerfully. "Hey, maybe you can get that girl you've always been talking about to join too!"

"This is going to be one hell of a pageant," May said in response.

&.

Brock was a happy man.

Not only had the Sensational Sisters called him first — they were letting him participate in a beauty pageant. Life couldn't get any better than that, really. Of course, it might be perfect if he had been granted judge position - but he was thankful for what he had. He didn't want to dream too high now.

There was a downside to this, after all. He wasn't coaching just anyone for the pageant. He was coaching Misty Waterflower. As in, Fire Queen. As in, Misty Mallet 2000. As in, well... one would get the point.

He wondered with a shudder if this would end well at all.

He rapped his knuckles against the door of the Ketchum household and waited until a familiar Mr. Mine opened the door with a wide grin.

"Mime! Mime, mime?"

Brock gave him a thumbs up. "I'm doing great, Mr. Mime. Is Mrs. Ketchum home?"

"Mime, mime." The pokemon shook his head. "Mime, mime mime!"

Brock stroked his chin thoughtfully. He was pointing upstairs, indicating that someone else at the house was there. He knew it couldn't be Ash; he had just finished the league. His arrival was scheduled for either late night or tomorrow morning.

No one else came to mind, so he approached upstairs cautiously, half-believing that Team Rocket was hiding in the room or something. After dodging all of the creaky areas (well-known after spending so much time at Ash's house, really) he hovered outside of the door.

"I mean, it's so obvious she likes him! It's frustrating to hear her complain about him all the time."

"Right! I feel you, man. That's me and Misty at the gym everyday."

Ooh. Brock liked this conversation.

"Are we gossiping about our friends' love lives?" Brock burst in with a comical grin, startling them both. It didn't take long for the looks of shock to morph into ones of gleeful surprise.

"Brock!"

"How's it going?" Brock exchanged a fist-bump with an ecstatic Max, then turning to nod at Tracey to acknowledge his presence, too. "What brings you two here?"

"I'm here for the party this week!" Max said proudly. He must have had to convince his parents to let him go too, Brock realized with a short chuckle.

"Same, I guess," Tracey said with an easygoing smile. "But I also sort of live here."

"Right," Brock nodded and laughed. "So you were discussing Misty? I was hoping to find here here."

"We were," Tracey nodded. "She decided to stay behind in the gym with May. She's going to be in the Kanto Beauty Pageant, did you know?"

"Yep," he replied without missing a beat. "I'm going to be coaching her!"

He couldn't say he didn't expect the twinning flabbergasted reactions. Mad demanded an explanation while Tracey made a somewhat horrified face. Brock explained the situation with the Waterflower sisters in a nutshell to them, taking in their looks of enlightenment afterwards.

"If I didn't know them any better, I'd say they're planning something," Tracey mused.

Brock rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, we all know how well you know her sisters."

Tracey blushed, quickly catching onto his meaning. "Do not."

"My bad. Sister as in singular."

"Chill, Brock," Max cut in. "No need to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous!"

Their banter continued on, the fact that they sounded eerily similar to five year olds never hitting them once.

&.

"Guess who we got back?"

It was nearing late evening when Tracey had fallen asleep on the living room couch. While Delia hummed a tune to cooking in the kitchen, Brock and Max argued over something that Misty assumed was something nerdy and weird like Pokemon breeding habits (because that happened once).

She stood in the doorway with an exhausted Ash Ketchum, grasping a handful of his shirt proudly like she had caught a brand new pokemon. May stood at her other side, waving merrily. "

"Ash!" Brock stood up to greet his best friend; glad to see him after so long. "I didn't expect you back so soon!" He reached around to clap his back. Ash merely coughed before resuming to look dead again. "Um, is he okay, Misty?"

Misty laughed, very amused at the sight of the usually hyper Ash seemingly dead. "He should be, it's just been a long day's travel."

She seemed to be ready to fuss over Ash further, but Delia came out of the kitchen and took over that for her. Ash barely got out a word before Delia wrapped him into a bear hug and then hauled him off to bed, muttering something about "you-know-whats" as she dragged him up the stairs.

"What a reunion," Brock said, sweatdropping at the sight.

"We'll have plenty of time for that tomorrow," May told him cheerfully, flashing up a thumbs-up. "Dawn just checked into the Pokemon Center today. She said she's tired though, so we can meet up tomorrow."

Brock raised an eyebrow. "So that's about everyone for the party then, huh?"

Misty shook her head. "Ash's inviting his new friends over too, remember? And May invited Drew."

"Oh, already you already dating him May?"

"Yes!" Max answered, popping his head in (as he always enjoyed annoying his sister).

"No!" May was quick to deny, face steadily heating as she glared. "Max, I'll castrate you. And Brock, we've just become better friends, is all!"

"Ah." Brock nodded, pretending to understand the explanation. "Makes sense. The good ol' Johto region always manages to bring our friends 'closer'." He grinned, knowing that Misty would be on him any second.

And she was. "One word, Brock: Gyrados."

Brock gulped. Not even Onix would back him up against Misty's ferocious beast of a pokemon. So, he hastily turned to change the subject. "So, have you signed up for the pageant already?"

Misty nodded. "Yeah, both May and I, actually. Wait. They told you?" Misty said, tone exasperated at this point.

"Yep. I guess they didn't tell you I was assigned your coach, either, did they?"

"No!" Misty moaned indignantly at the news.

Max chortled away at his position in front of the television. Apparently he was more focused on their conversation than he was on Pokemon Planet. "Your lives are hilarious," he said, eyes shining in amusement.

"No commentary necessary," May snapped crossly in the place of Misty, who seemed as if she might intervene herself any moment.

"Any more surprises?" Misty gave up, looking to Brock in defeat.

"With your sisters? There are probably many more to come."

Three sisters ran about in a frenzy in their shared vanity room, plugging in irons and blowdryers while making phone calls at the same time. Devious plotting was in the making, and of course, that wouldn't stop them from looking drop dead gorgeous while they were at it.

"Everything ready to go, Vi?"

"Like, just almost. We've got almost all our contestants registered, and the coaches are up to par, but like, we're lacking stylists."

"Oh, that? No probs. I'll take care of that in a sec."

"Oh, and Daisy! Be a darling and take care of that Paul will you? He'll need some incentive to fly all the way here."

"Make Lily do it!"

"Like, no way. I'm still dealing with friggin' Oak over here."

"What's his problem?"

"He wants to be a judge."