Here is my (late)Christmas present to all of my readers. I am now officially four months behind on updates. Just three more posts this month to catch up…which means about nineteen hours from now. Yeah, that's not happening.

Here are some more skits I thought up, or that weren't ready for my earlier post.

Timeline: Fourth year, opening feast

"And this year Hogwarts has the great honor to-" Dumbledore was saying, but was rudely interrupted by a loud crash of thunder, accompanied by the resonating crash of the great hall doors slamming open. As the echoes faded around the room, a tall, stooped, thin man in sodden grey robes and a dipping pointed hat made his way up between the tables, his staff making an ominous 'thunk' with each step. Once he reached the headmaster, he stood to his full height with the slowness of age, and pulled his dripping hat out of his eyes. He was noticeably taller than Dumbledore, but still shorter than Hagrid.

When the man spoke, it was with a tired baritone. "Sorry for the interruption Albus; I tried knocking but the storm seems to have drowned me out."

"That's perfectly alright old friend," Dumbledore said as he shook the man's hand. He turned his attention back to the students and the newcomer turned as well. "Now allow me to introduce this years Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Gandalf the Grey!"

Later that year:

"Your final examination this year is to enter this Dwarf mine in parties of seven and make it out the other side. Ideally you will make it through quickly –and quietly!– without awakening the Goblin horde or their pet Mountain Troll. Also there is a Balrog. If you see it, I would advise running. If you don't make it out the other side, then…You! Shall! Not! Pass!"

Every one of the assembled students gulped…except for Harry Potter. He shrugged and muttered, "Still better than dragons."

Alternate Timeline: Fifth year (Sirius cleared of all charges)

Sirius strolled up the aisle in the center of the classroom. "Good morning everyone. Wands out. I want two single file lines of equal length. Now face the person opposite you." Once everyone had a partner he grinned like a mad man—which he was—and shouted, "It's time to duel!"

The next class:

"These are my new assistant, Fred and George Weasely. Their job is to keep you on your toes. All the time." Even Harry was creeped out by the way they all managed to grin while showing all their teeth like that.

Timeline: Fourth year, Negi again, Beaubaxtons and Durmstrang arrive

The entire Beaubaxtons contingent was stopped in its tracks when the French schools Headmistress stopped moving. Once the students who were bowled over by the sudden stop righted themselves they were able to get a good look at what had so affected their Headmistress. It was a small boy with red hair wearing a green suit and holding a staff longer than he was tall.

It took three tries before Dumbledore's shouts were finally able to break the Giantess from her stupor. She ignored everyone asking her what was wrong to raise a shaking finger to point at the diminutive redheaded boy. "You. Boy. Who is your father?" She asked quietly.

Negi blinked at her in confusion before saying carefully in a small voice that never-the-less carried over the silent crowds of students, "My father? Er, Nagi Springfield, Ma'am."

Madam Maxine began shaking more violently before throwing her head back and screaming. She lunged at Negi with a monstrous scowl on her face, trying to wrap her hands around the tiny representation of a certain man from her past.

Negi reacted with the cool head of a professional…yeah right. He reacted like a twelve-year-old facing one of his dad's angry girlfriends. He bolted.

Madam Maxine chased the small adolescent around the castle while shouting curses and oaths in French. Those unfortunate enough to be able to understand her bellows heard this, "Where is He?! Where is that skirt chasing bastard, Nagi Springfield?! I'll kill that lying, cheating gigolo!"

Unfortunately for Negi, he could understand French.

Timeline: Third year, first class

The imposing old wizard in the blue robes and pointed hat reminded Harry quite a bit of Professor McGonagall the first time he saw him, and that feeling was further reinforced by the commanding glare he was spearing the entire class with. Once the bell to begin class rang, he stood to address the class. "I am Master Yen Cid. I have forgotten more about the ways of magic than most you will ever know or could ever fathom. As my students, I expect absolute respect from you, complete obedience to my commands, rigid discipline in completing the tasks I assign, and unyielding diligence for all things you do.

"For my lessons, your wands are insufficient mediums. I will provide you with more…adequate ones." He had walked around his desk until he was right in front of the class as he talked. Now he waved his arm and a large barrel full of what appeared to be ornate swords appeared before his desk in a 'poof' of smoke and displaced air. He reached into the barrel and drew out a…giant key?

"You will each select a keyblade that suits you. If it won't stay in your hand, then it doesn't suit you. I will present a different assortment of keyblades every class until all of you have bonded with one."

'Bonded?' the entire class thought.

"Until you all have a keyblade, you will only be studying theoretical magic. Hopefully, it will not take long to arm you all. Now, form a line and begin."

As I've mostly run out of ideas for this, I'll be taking new ideas from my reviewer suggestions. Any such ideas will be appropriately marked.

If you enjoy a meal at a restaurant, you tip your waiter/waitress. Don't I deserve the same recognition? So tip me with a review. Otherwise I'll spit in your coffee!