A/N: This story was inspired by the Skyrim Kink Meme.

Prompt: I must confess this, dear anons: despite his annoying speeches I have a soft spot for Heimskr.
In my headcanon, our favorite priest has made a sort of "vow of chastity", something to remain pure in order to spread Talos' Word.
But his life gets turned upside down when the dragonborn arrives in Whiterun and it seems like she is the only one who can stand him. I would like to see them forming a particular bond, a blossoming friendship that leads inevitably to something more profound. Throw in it some angst too, just like "I am a priest, I'm not supposed to have these feelings" and the dragonborn who is like "He is a priest, there is no way he would be interested in me". Obviously some hot, I-have-wanted-this-for-so-long-and-I-can't-r

estrain-myself sex must be in it, it's a kinkmeme for Talos' sake!:D

HUUUGE BONUS:
-the dragonborn pays an unexpected visit to Hemskir's house and finds him masturbating, whispering her name

Any race is ok,but I prefer a Human or a Mer F!DB

"Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise!"

It was another typical day in Whiterun. Heimskr, priest of Talos, stood before the tall, stone statue of the Nordic god, filling the town square with his praises and curses. As was all too common, most of the citizens ignored him as they went about their daily business.

"We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!"

Every day for the last thirty years, regardless of rain, snow, or hail, Heimskr came out to the square and preached the word of Talos. Every day since the Aldmeri Dominion had shamed the Empire and it had folded to their demands of forsaking their god, he stood before them and spoke the words of Talos.

"And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives?"

It was frustrating to see such a lack of faith in his home. Ulfric Stormcloak understood; that was why he was leading the righteous rebellion against the faithless Empire. The people here lived too well; they didn't understand the fear of not being able to live your life dedicated to your rightful god. Not like the broken people of Cyrodiil.

"What does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine!"

Too many people scurried by, ashamed to look him in the eye, while they continued their mundane lives. However, there was one lately who did listen. His audience was a young woman, barely out of adolescence, who would sit on the bench under the Gildergreen and listen to Heimskr.

She was a Nord like him. Her hair was as red as the sun as it set, her skin as pale as freshly fallen snow, and her eyes as green as the Gildergreen's leaves as she sat under it. Heimskr knew that she was the newest Companion despite not wearing the iconic wolf armor that Eorlund Gray-Mane crafted for them from his Skyforge. The priest had seen her walking up and down the steps leading to Jorrvaskr with the other honorable mercenaries often enough to know that she was one of them now.

It was the only thing he knew about her.

The woman would appear for an hour or so and listen to his sermons, her eyes always serious and contemplative, before leaving for whatever mission she was on. She was never mocking or pitying like so many.

The sun was falling behind the mountains, leaving the town square in shadow. Heimskr lowered his arms and popped his neck. It was getting harder and harder to stand for so many hours every day, preaching the word of Talos. He was no longer a young man and the aches and pains were constant reminders. Still, anything in the name of Talos.

Heimskr knelt and gathered the septims passersby had left at his feet, an offering to their god and the work of his faithful servant. It heartened Heimskr that there were those who still had charity in their hearts.

The priest trudged down the steps towards the Bannered Mare to see about purchasing a meal. He rarely cooked for himself; he had no time. His waking hours were dedicated to keeping the word of Talos alive. Some days he envied his brother Nords with the care of their farms, but decades ago he had made a vow and never regretted that choice.

The innkeeper, Hulda, greeted Heimskr warmly when he entered the inn. "How are you today, Heimskr?" she asked politely as she filled a tankard with ale.

"Disheartened, Hulda, disheartened!" Heimskr replied. Maybe he could convert the innkeeper. "Every day faithless souls wander past me, not listening to the holy word of Talos!"

"That's too bad, dear," the woman said, as she turned away to deal with another customer. "Go have a seat and I'll send Saadia with your meal."

Recognizing a dismissal, Heimskr slinked over to his usual table. The Nord buried his face in his drink, wondering if he should indulge in getting drunk tonight. The priest sighed. Of course he wouldn't; he had Talos' work to do and that never allowed for a holiday. A mug of mead or two with his meal would be more than enough.

The Redguard waitress came over with a bowl of stew and a plate of bread and cheese. "Here you go, old man," she said as she placed the items on the table.

"Thank you, lass," Heimskr said, smiling up at her. "You're a good girl. Is there anything a strong man can do for you?"

"Probably," she answered as she turned away. "I'll be sure to ask him when I see him."

The other waitresses heard her answer and snickered at the jab. Heimskr growled as he turned back to his meal. "Harpies, all of them."

The door to the inn opened and the Companions filed in, rambunctiously loud as they recounted tales of valor. Among them was the newest girl, who was quietly laughing at Farkas' comment. Her gaze turned to Heimskr and they locked eyes for a moment before the crowd passed the priest.

An hour passed as the patrons enjoyed the company of strangers while they drank, ate, and sang. Heimskr, his meal finished, stood and stretched. It was time to go home, having his nightly prayers, and go to bed. Tomorrow would be another long day. They all were.

As the priest started to go down the stairs, the door to the Mare opened again and the red-haired woman exited it.

"Would you mind if I walked with you?" she asked as she fell into step with Heimskr.

"Not at all," Heimskr said.

"We've never been introduced. My name is Joldi," the woman said.

"Heimskr."

"I know," she said with a nervous laugh. Heimskr joined her, enjoying the companionable nature of the woman.

They walked for a few minutes in comfortable silence. Heimskr was doing everything he could to not look at Joldi. She was a very beautiful woman, full in all the right places, and it was emphasized in the ancient Nord armor that she wore. Heimskr wasn't sure what sort of protection that it granted given the slits down the sides and the generous bust line.

"I hate to ask, but I was hoping that I could talk to you about Talos," Joldi said suddenly.

Heimskr stopped walking and looked at the woman in shock. "Of course, I would love to talk about Talos," he practically shouted.

"It's just that it's so late," she murmured, relief clear on her face.

"It is never too late to speak about Talos!" Heimskr declared. "Please, we can converse at my home."

Heimskr escorted Joldi to his little house that was right off the town square. It faced the statue of Talos, so it was the first thing Heimskr saw when he left home in the morning.

Joldi had a small smile on her face as she looked around the humble home. There was a pot over a fireplace, a small shrine to Talos, and several chairs set up as a place of worship and sermon. A door to the left probably led to a private sleeping area if she had to guess.

"Please, sit, sit," Heimskr gestured to the chairs. "Can I make you something to drink? Some tea?"

"No, I'm good, thank you," Joldi said as she sat. "Do you live here alone? Don't you have any family? A wife? Children?"

"No," Heimskr sighed. "I took a vow of chastity when I became a priest of Talos. I must remain pure so that I do not become distracted by the desires of the flesh."

"I didn't know that was something priests did," Joldi said.

"It's not required by the church," Heimskr said, waving his hand dismissively. "However, I felt that it was essential. How could I preach the word of Talos if my devotions were required elsewhere? How could I give a partner or any offspring the love they deserve when all of my love is for Talos?"

"It sounds lonely," Joldi said.

"It can be, but it can also be very rewarding." Heimskr smiled as he leaned towards the young woman. "Especially when a young person decides they want the truth of our god. Now tell me what is on your mind."

Joldi blushed as she shuffled in her seat. "I wanted to know more about Talos being Dragonborn."

Heimskr smiled broadly as he detailed the exploits of Talos when he was a man. They spent the next hour with Heimskr teaching Joldi, until the older man started yawning.

"I've kept you up too late," Joldi said as she stood. "I shouldn't have."

"It's perfectly fine," Heimskr said as he also stood. "This has been a rare delight. It is so difficult to get anyone to talk about Talos. Too many would rather duck their heads down and not know instead of embracing their heritage."

"I admit that I had not even known about Talos until I came here," Joldi said, shyly. "I grew up in Bruma and only came to Skyrim recently. That's why your speeches intrigued me so."

"I would love to keep talking to you," Heimskr said as he took one of her hands in both of his. He couldn't help but notice how soft her hands were while still calloused as a warrior's. "Maybe we could make this a daily ritual? Meet in the evening to discuss religion?"

"I would love to!" Joldi smiled.

"Then it is settled," Heimskr raised her hand and kissed the back of it.

Joldi giggled. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you were flirting with me."

"No, just showing the proper respect to a lovely young woman willing to give her faith to Talos."

"Tomorrow," Joldi promised as she turned to leave.

"Tomorrow," Heimskr repeated.

The weeks passed and the two met every night. Heimskr would tell Joldi about Talos and she would ask questions about his life as the Dragonborn, how he became a god, what it was like before the Empire.

Heimskr found that he looked forward to those meetings more and more every day. Sometimes he would be standing in the town square preaching and all he could focus on was what they would speak of at night in his small home.

"Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment!"

That night, Joldi came to visit Heimskr wearing normal clothes instead of her armor. The priest mentally breathed a sigh of relief. He found her distracting enough with her youth and beauty, but the armor made it almost impossible to look at her. Unfortunately, he quickly discovered that the armor at least bound her breasts down in a way simple cloth did not.

Joldi would frequently press against him to point out a passage in book they were discussing, and it took everything in Heimskr to not focus on the soft, abundant flesh of her breasts.

"You said that Talos had a family," Joldi said, pulling Heimskr back to their conversation. "Yet, you personally, have a vow of chastity. Doesn't that seem at odds?"

"Talos was more than a man," Heimskr chided, trying to subtly move so the young woman wasn't pressed so pleasantly against him. He moved the book so it was more in her hands than his. "His way was inherently divine."

"Yet, he was mortal at the time. There was no way for Talos to know that he would ascend when he died," Joldi countered. Her hand rested casually on Heimskr's leg. "Wasn't that wrong for him to indulge in physical desires then?"

Heimskr found his gaze on her full, red lips. He wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips. The priest quickly blinked his eyes to banish the thought. 'I am a priest, I'm not supposed to have these feelings,' he berated himself.

"Talos was Dragonborn," Heimskr said, "and as with many with the souls of dragons in a man's body, he was a child of prophecy. Such beings can do no wrong. They exist as they must to fulfill their roles in the tides of time. Talos did have a family because Talos loved."

"So, Talos could love, but his priests cannot?" Joldi was leaning close enough that Heimskr could smell the mead from her dinner on her breath.

"It is getting late!" Heimskr declared, standing abruptly. He mentally thanked Talos that his robes hid his erection from the girl. He had been alone for so long that he had managed to forget about the temptations of the flesh, at least until the woman came along. "We should continue this discussion tomorrow."

"As you wish, Heimskr," Joldi said quietly. She stood as well. Instead of leaving, she embraced the priest. "Thank you for teaching me about Talos."

"You're welcome," Heimskr murmured. His head turned the same as hers and suddenly Heimskr found himself kissing those very same lips that had distracted him moments ago. Her tongue darted into his mouth and he could taste the sweet mead that she had drunk with her dinner.

The priest groaned, wanting to grab her and press her to his aching body. Instead, Heimskr pushed the woman away. "Go," he said simply, unable to look at her.

"Heimskr," she said, reaching for him.

"Go!" Heimskr repeated, turning so his back was to her.

"I'm sorry," she muttered as she left.

Now alone, Heimskr felt that he was too hot. His whole body was flushed and he could barely breathe. He grabbed his priest's robes and jerked them over his head, leaving him only in his pants. He threw the offending clothes on the ground and saw that they landed next to Joldi's sword.

The Nord frequently would unbuckle her weapon and set it next to her while they talked. She must have forgotten it when he demanded that she leave. It didn't matter; he would give it to her in the morning if he saw her while he preached.

The older man fell to his knees before the shrine of Talos. "Please, my lord, forgive me for my indiscretion!" Heimskr prayed. "Forgive me for being weak."

No matter how hard he prayed, Heimskr could not banish the memory of how soft and warm Joldi had felt against him. The curl of her hair, the smell of her skin, the swell of her chest – all of it haunted him. He wanted to throw her on the floor and ravish her before the shrine of Talos.

"Weak, so very weak," Heimskr wept. From his kneeling position, his erection still pressed painfully against his clothes. The priest reached into his pants and grabbed the traitorous flesh. He stroked it furiously, trying to remember the last time he had submitted to the needs of the flesh. "Oh, Joldi, Joldi, I want you. I need you."

It felt wrong to be debasing himself before the shrine of Talos, but it felt so right too. Admit his sins to his god. Don't hide it, don't run from it. Talos would never be so cowardly or needy.

"Joldi," Heimskr cried again, his voice husky with desire.

"I'm here," she said softly.

Heimskr cried out in surprise as he turned around and saw the woman standing in his doorway.

"I came back for my sword," she said as a way of explanation, no hint of apology for walking in on the priest during his moment of shame. She glanced down at Heimskr's hand and smiled. "I told myself over and over, 'He is a priest, there is no way he would be interested in me,' but I am so glad that I was wrong."

"Joldi, I-" Heimskr stammered, for once at a loss of words. He tried to stand, but the younger woman just pushed him back down.

"Shush," she urged as she ran her hands through Heimskr's hair. "It's okay." She reached up and started to loosen the ties that held her shirt together. The shirt fell open, revealing her full figure. Joldi grabbed Heimskr's free hand and ran it up her torso until it rested on her breast. "Continue what you were doing."

"I cannot," Heimskr said, looking away, but unable to take his hand away. Joldi was strong and held it firmly in place against her flesh. "I took a vow."

"You never asked me why I wanted to know more about Talos as a Dragonborn," Joldi whispered as she knelt in front of the priest. She took him into hand and started stroking him. Heimskr's head swam from the sensation, long imagined, but never felt. She pressed her lips against his ear. He could feel the tip of her tongue flicker against it as she murmured, "It's because I'm Dragonborn too."

The confession made Heimskr groan. A Dragonborn! Just like Talos. His faithful student, always so polite and so curious, was one of the legendary children of destiny.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Heimskr asked, trying to delay for time so he could try to think clearly. A process that was getting more and more difficult as Joldi's hand ran up and down his length.

"Doesn't my dear priest have any faith in me?" she chuckled. "Fine, a demonstration then." Joldi turned her head and Shouted, "FUS!" making the chairs fall over.

"By the Nine!" Heimskr murmured. "It's true."

"Of course." Joldi pushed the priest back so he was lying on his back. She ran her fingers down his chest, playing with the curly hairs there, before sliding to the top of his hips. Her shirt still hung open, and Heimskr was mesmerized by the sway of her breasts.

"My vow," he reminded her, although there was less conviction now.

"You said Dragonborn could do no wrong," the woman countered as she grabbed Heimskr's pants and dragged them off him. "The Greybeards said something similar to me. That they had to follow certain rules, but I was outside of them." Her green eyes flicked up. "And I want you."

"I'm too old," Heimskr said. It was hard to talk with Joldi running her fingers lazily up and down his length. "I'm old enough to be your father. It's too late for such things."

"It's never too late," Joldi said, echoing their first conversation. She leaned forward until her body was pressed against his and kissed Heimskr. "Tell me what Talos says about love."

"Aye, love," Heimskr started, falling into the comfortable lull of his sermons. Joldi continued to kiss him, starting on his cheek and trailed down his jaw to the curve of his neck. She didn't stop there, but moved further down his chest. "Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel!"

"We," Heimskr swallowed hard when the Dragonborn's lips caressed his tip, "we are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit!" The priest's voice pitched high on the word "flesh" as Joldi ran her mouth down his length; taking him in as far as she could before she started to bob up and down.

Heimskr rambled through his sermon as Joldi continued her administrations. He couldn't even remember what he was saying; it could have been pure jibberish. All he could think of was that mouth licking, caressing, sucking upon his flesh and how damn good it felt.

"Talos!" he cried as he finally found release and his seed spilled into her mouth. Joldi barely gagged as she swallowed it all; a feat unto itself given how long he went.

Before Heimskr could recover and sit up, Joldi had already ripped off her shirt and threw it with his discarded robes. Still wearing her pants, the Nord straddled the older man. She grabbed both of his hands and pressed them against her body. "Touch me," she commanded.

Her body was a hardened warrior's, full of muscle and scars, but it was also soft in the way all women were. Heimskr could already feel himself quickening again as she rubbed against him while he caressed her.

Her hands guided his so they cupped her breasts and his fingers circled and rubbed her hard nipples, stark against the cloth of her chest band. She let go long enough to untie the cloth and then suddenly her flesh was unbound in glorious freedom. Joldi leaned forward and cupped the back of Heimskr's neck.

Suddenly her nipple was pressed against his mouth, and Heimskr took it into his mouth to lick and suck hungrily. His right hand wrapped around her waist while his left snaked down between her legs so he could caress the area between. Her cries of delight in his ear almost undid him for a second time.

"Heimskr, Heimskr," she murmured like a prayer. "Undo my pants."

The priest followed her command and quickly the tight pants joined the rest of the clothes in the pile. Joldi sat on one of the chairs, so that she was facing Heimskr, who was now kneeling. Her legs were open wide. She stroked his face gently as she kissed him several times. "I want you to do the same thing to me as I did to you." Heimskr's hand was guided to her crotch, which was dripping wet.

"I don't know what to do," Heimskr admitted.

"I know. I'll show you want I want," Joldi purred. She demonstrated what she wanted for him to do with his fingers and mouth.

Heimskr revealed in the warm slickness of her as he buried his face against her body. The musky smell of her sex invaded his senses. Joldi's little cries of pleasure and encouragement gave him confidence as he stroked her moving counter to her own thrusts. One pale leg wrapped around his back, pulling him closer.

"Oh, gods,"Joldi moaned, her head thrown back. "Oh, Heimskr, yes!"

With a final cry, she clenched around him, coming undone by him. By Heimskr! He had done that to a woman. It was unbelievable.

"I seem to have riled you up again," Joldi said as she wiped the priest's face clean. She lightly pressed her knee against his stiff member. Long fingers tilted Heimskr's face up so he was looking at her. "Do you want me?"

"Yes," Heimskr confessed, "more than anything."

The Dragonborn pushed the priest onto his back again. This time she straddled him so that he was pressed against her thigh as she slowly rocked against his flesh. Heimskr moaned as the tip brushed against her folds, still hot and wet. It was agonizing as she teased him.

Joldi pressed her body against Heimskr's as she kissed him again. Full lips crushed against his; and her tongue dominating his. His hands were squeezed her bottom, not quite willing to pull her towards him so he could finally be in her.

"You've fascinated me since I first saw you in the square," Joldi murmured in Heimskr's ear. "Standing defiantly preaching the word of Talos and unafraid of the Thalmor's wrath. There are so many who cower in their homes, afraid that the elves will come and drag them away, while you spit in their faces. So brave, so willful."

Her hips descended so his tip was at her entrance.

"Then I spoke to you and found out that you were untouched. Suddenly, there was this vulnerable side to you. So sweet, so pure."

As she spoke, Joldi slowly impaled herself on Heimskr. His breath was ragged as she hilted herself on him.

"As you were Talos', now you're also mine," Joldi whispered as she thrust her hips against his.

Heimskr stifled a cry as Joldi slid up and down his length. He had no idea anything could feel this tight. His fingers sank into her flesh, and if it hurt her, she gave no indication.

"Oh, Heimskr," Joldi cried, unconcerned with being quiet, "my Heimskr."

With her setting the pace, Joldi was able to come as she ground against Heimskr's girth. The priest quickly followed as she clinched so pleasantly around him with her release.

Spent, Joldi curled up against Heimskr, nestling her head under his arm. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked, teasing, but there was a hint of concern in her voice.

They were both naked and on the cold floor. Heimskr's bed wasn't that far away, but it might as well have been all the way in Markarth for his ability to move right now. The young woman's warmth was enough to chase away any chill and any Nord worth his salt could handle a little cold. For now he was comfortable and the lull of sleep was quickly claiming him. He looked over to Joldi who yawned, but still needed an answer.

Heimskr kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Praise be to Talos."

The two of them closed their eyes and slept before the shrine of their god.

A/N: It was very odd writing sex for Heimskr. I don't see him as a sexual character (and still don't despite the smut), but I really, really enjoyed writing him.

Like Cicero, I don't get why people kill him with such glee. Yes, he's a kooky fanatic, but really no worse than Ulfric. I find him charming, but maybe I'm just drawn to lunatics. They have personality.

Maybe I'll do more with these two in the future. =3