Author's Note: Hey guys! I know, I know, I haven't been very active in the FF world lately, and again, I'd like to apologize. I'm getting on it!
Anyway, I have an idea. If this gets enough reviews and stuff, I'm planning on writing a chapter after each episode to kind of show how the team is coping. This will go on until I find a good stopping point, or it may as well just go on for the whole season! It'll be mostly background stuff, with a few references to the episode and possibly past seasons, depending on the context. Also, it mostly revolves around Abby, but the characters are all still a really big part of it. I really hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know by reviewing…
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
-July 21st, 2012-
Her heart slammed into her body, begging to be set free from the confines of her chest. With shaky hands, she continued her sweep of her tiles. The clinks of the glass made her sick to her stomach, and she sat down.
This purging of her office should have been taken care of months ago, she decided, but she couldn't bring herself to clean up his mess. She had cleaned up her lab area, being that she would never be able to focus if it had been as messy as he had left it. Of course, Gibbs the Hero had wiped him out, but that wasn't enough. His burning in Hell wouldn't make up for the lost agents that she vaguely remembered socializing with while waiting in line at the cafeteria. It was too much for her to handle. Suddenly, without warning, she slumped to the floor, feeling the remaining minuscule shards of glass digging into her skin.
"Abby? Abby, are you here?" Ziva's voice called from the entrance. Vaguely making out Abby's prone figure in the dim moonlight, she rushed to the glass door and yanked it open, proceeding to kneel by Abby's body.
"Abby, are you alright?" Her voice took on an unusually high pitch. The bits of glass were still implanted in Abby's cheek, and Ziva helped her brush them off. Propping Abby's small, yet lanky figure on her own knee, Ziva gently caressed the young woman's face.
"What happened?"
"I… Fell?" the Goth offered. Ziva sighed and shook her head.
"Come, let me help you up." The Israeli agent pushed herself off the ground and stuck out her hand to pull Abby up. Soon, as they stood, Abby pulled her into a hug.
"I can't do this, Ziva. I can't."
Ziva tightened her grip on Abby's waist. "You need to do this," she said firmly. "If you leave, NCIS will have lost possibly the best forensic scientist they ever hired."
Abby let out a soft chuckle. "Thanks, Ziva. It's his fault. Why us? Why?"
Ziva shrugged. "That, Abby, I cannot answer. Come, join me upstairs. We're currently not working on a case, and I think it will be good for you to be around friends."
Abby nodded and followed Ziva into the elevator. The tension was so thick, they both could feel it.
"Do you think we could ever be whole again?" Abby suddenly asked. Ziva frowned.
"We were never not whole, Abby. Although, I do believe we will be alright."
The elevator slowed to a stop on the bullpen floor.
"Hey, Abby," McGee greeted with a small wave. Abby threw him a half-smile and climbed into his lap. He wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her close as Ziva returned to his desk.
Across from her, Tony sat with his legs propped up on the table, leaning back on his chair.
"What'cha doin' up here, Abbs?" he asked, evident that a wad of gum was lodged between his teeth.
"Just… Escaping for a little while," she replied softly, catching Ziva's gaze. Suddenly, tears spewed from her eyes.
"Abby? What is wrong?" Ziva jumped up. McGee craned his neck and studied Abby's face.
"You okay?" Tony asked, making his way over the piles of paper by his desk. Abby curled herself into McGee's arms.
Simply, through her tears, she mumbled, "Good isn't back yet."
-Gibbs' Apartment, 7:00 p.m.-
"I miss you, Jen," the silver-haired man whispered to a photo of Jenny. He held it in his hands the way a young child would maybe treat a newborn puppy: with love, tenderness, and care. He so longed to hold her in his arms and call her "his" again. Taking a sip from his whiskey, he reminisced in the past.
"You know, Jethro, I would be a wreck if anything happened to NCIS, or any of us," Jenny confessed. She delicately bit from a bread roll, waiting Gibbs' response.
"I know, Jen. That's one of the things I love about you," he reminded her.
"What? Me being a mess?" she joked. He shook his head seriously.
"No. Your loyalty," he replied. It was obvious he had triggered something. Her eyes dilated and she began to fidget.
"Excuse me, Jethro. I need to go to the bathroom." She gracefully bowed away from the table, and he remembered curiously watching her weave expertly through the other couples at the restaurant.
His nostalgic moment was cut short by a knocking at the door. Frowning, he realized it couldn't have been one of the team. They knew his door was always open.
Surprised, Gibbs turned the knob and opened the door.
"Hey, Boss," Tony greeted, walking into the house followed by Abby, who offered Gibbs a small wave.
"What are you guys doing here? My door's always open, by the way," he reminded them. Abby took a seat on the couch gingerly and looked up at the two men. Tony took her cue and sat next to her. Abby patted the space opposite her, gesturing to Gibbs.
He gave her a dubious look, then joked, "You're asking me to have a seat on my own couch? This must be serious."
The hurt look in Abby's eyes prompted him to sit down next to her and take her hand.
"What's up, guys? This whole silent treatment is giving me the creeps."
Abby snuggled closer to him, wrapping her arms around his midsection. Then, she began to cry.
"Hey, Abby. Shh, don't cry. Don't cry, sweetheart," Gibbs whispered into her hair, rubbing her arm. He shot a look at Tony, like, "What are you doing here?"
As if Tony read Gibbs' mind, he filled him in. "Abby was having a rough night and she needed someone to take her over."
Gibbs frowned. "What's wrong, Abby?" Unfortunately, strangled gulping noises escaped her mouth rather than words.
"This whole… "Arper-ay Earing-day" thing is really getting to her," Tony spoke.
"The what?"
"She… Uh, she doesn't want to hear his name," Tony explained. Gibbs nodded, still holding Abby.
"Listen to me, Abby," Gibbs said softly. She mustered the courage to look up at him with tear-stained eyes. "Listen. I got him, Abbs. I got him. He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."
Abby nodded. "You're right. Not anymore. But he still hurt me, Gibbs! He hurt your team. He hurt my family. Do you know how this feels? Or maybe you don't," she gurgled. He opened his mouth, but she was on a roll. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. But I'm not like you. I have feelings. I actually care about people," she spat. Gibbs gave her a hard look, and she teared up again. Remembering Kelly and Shannon, her heart stopped.
"Gibbs… I-I'm so sorry," she choked, throwing herself back into his arms. Tony looked on as he had for the past few minutes, then spoke up.
"I think what she's really trying to say, Boss, is that… Um… We need some time. Maybe if you just slowed down a little…"
Now, to Gibbs, slowing down meant losing time. Losing time meant possibly losing people. He couldn't do that.
But then he looked to Abby.
Sweet, sweet, innocent Abby. His heart shattered. Pressing a kiss to her hair, he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Abby. I'll slow down and take it easy. Promise me you'll come talk when you need to." He felt her nod, and gave her a tight squeeze.
"I'm gonna go clean up in the bathroom." She gave Gibbs a watery smiled and made her way down the hall.
"She's a mess, huh?" Tony prompted.
Gibbs nodded, still staring after her. "How are you doing?"
The younger man gave a slight shrug. "I'm doing okay." His tone indicated a slight surprise, as if he were expecting to be seriously damaged by the event.
"Are you sure?"
"What do you mean, 'Are you sure?'" Tony frowned. Gibbs shrugged.
"I dunno, Tony. What do 'ya think it means?" he quipped sarcastically.
Tony shook his head. "Alright. I lied. I'm pretty beat up about this whole situation, okay? There. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
"No, Tony. That's never what I want to hear. I just wanted to hear the truth," Gibbs replied philosophically.
Tony rolled his eyes. "Cut the bullshit, Boss Man. I mean, come on!" he threw his hands up in the air and stood up angrily. "Are you serious? Look at yourself. You lost your wife and your daughter. You've been divorced three times. You lost Jenny. You hid away in Mexico. You built three boats and demolished all of them. You don't feel any emotions. You just don't," he spat. "Abby, get over here. We're leaving!" he shouted. Abby quickly ran out of the bathroom.
"What happened?" she asked, trails of makeup still running down her face.
Tony stared at Gibbs while answering Abby's question. "We're going." He snatched up his coat and took Abby by the arm. Abby rippled her fingers in a weak wave and allowed Tony to drag her out.
As the two left, they never saw the tears welling up in his icy blue eyes.
-NCIS Bullpen, 8:56 p.m.-
"I'm heading home, Tim. Is there anything you need?" Ziva asked, gathering her things. McGee shook his head slowly. "No, but thank you so much, Ziva. I'll call you," he replied, continuing his typing. Ziva took a breath and made her way toward his desk.
"Tim," she began.
He paused his work and looked up. "What's up?"
"I just… I just wanted to know if you were okay."
He let out a breath and sighed. "I dunno, Ziva. I guess I'm just… Just trying to cope." He stumbled over his words.
"We all are, Tim," she said firmly, rubbing his shoulder. "We all are." Giving him a tight-lipped smile, she nodded and entered the elevator.
As the doors slid shut, McGee bit his lip in thought. Was he really coping? Or was it just his defense mechanism to tell people that he was coping? The fact that he didn't know worried him, and he pulled out his cell.
"Hey, Sarah? I know we haven't talked in a while… But, uh, call me back when you get this. Love you tons. Bye." With that, he snapped his phone shut and slipped back into his work.
Author's Note: Short… I know. I hope you liked it! Let me know if I should continue by reviewing. Love you all!