Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters – am just borrowing to torment for my amusement

Warnings: Swearing, yaoi, violence, general angst, possible OOCness (ages since I've written fanfiction so may be a little bit rusty)

Pairings: 1x2 , 3x4

A/N – After getting nostalgic and rummaging through boxes, I found my Gundam Wing stuff and got inspired to see if the community for GW was still active. Then this happened… inspired by the song Domino the Destitute by Coheed and Cambria.

Chapter One

Don't Walk Away

Duo POV

The bow tie felt like it choked me from the moment I put it on. I'd loosened it, leaving it open, before the official photographs and I could feel the annoyed look of Quatre as I stood with the other three briefly before finding the waitresses with the trays of champagne. I felt him follow me but before he did, there were microphones in his face and eager news reporters asking about the future of the Winner Corporation. It seemed I'd caught a lucky break. Suppose I might as well get drunk.

I was here in protest and I suppose my dark mood and inability to "play along" showed that. A swanky Relena thrown party to celebrate peace was not my bag but I was here. I wanted to snort into the champagne, I was here but old soldier boy was not. Didn't seem right. He was very conspicuous by his absence, the four of us looking odd during the photo call, the four of us having little to say to each other, Quat, looking over at me with a vague look of disappointment. It was all wrong, we were five former Gundam pilots, not four and it looked worse as Relena was dateless and at least he would've served that function in public. I walked over to the bar and put down the empty champagne glass.

A pretty young girl with pixie hair was serving behind the bar.

"What can I get you?"

"Bourbon on the rocks."

"Right away."

I watched as she got the drink, leaning against the bar.

"Bit early for that, Maxwell?"

I turned to see Wufei's black eyes.

"Only way to get through these," I shrugged, thanking the girl and taking a sip.

Good stuff. Wouldn't expect less from the Queen of the World, but you know, my tastes were usually much cheaper.

"Quatre asked you to keep an eye on me?"

"No, this is me keeping an eye on you."

My eyes ranged over Wufei. He looked comfortable in the penguin suit, the tie done straight, the shirt nicely starched and his hair sleeked. He looked like he could belong here.

"Thanks but I'm not going to embarrass anyone, you know. I'll enjoy the free bar and I'll leave early – no trouble."

"Hm," he grunted.

"Great conversation, 'Fei, but I'm going to do a circuit and show my face so I can get outta here."

I patted him on the shoulder and walked away, scanning the room for familiar faces. I saw Relena currently surrounded by a bunch of older men – politicians at best guess, and was glad. Didn't want to talk to her – she was still devastated over Heero's vanishing act and I guess she'd want to discuss it. I didn't want to. She'd paid me some expenses to go look for him, I'd taken her cash and came back with jack shit. She thought he would respond to me, suppose it was cute that she was unaware of what had gone on between us, but I was probably the worse person to go after him. I had ways to find people and I had ways of not being discovered while I got close to someone. Heero knew how I did things, how my brain worked and where I would look and who I would ask. He could cover his tracks. If he didn't want me to find him, I never would. It was nearly six months since he took off and I'd looked for him so many damned times – now I'd given up. Screw him.

I chatted with Sally being among the few familiar face at the fancy shindig and she asked how I'd been, her tone suggesting she knew more about Heero's no show than she was letting on and maybe more about why I wasn't interested in being here. I said I was thinking about college, I said I didn't want to join the Preventers, I talked but my mind was elsewhere. I excused myself and walked out of the glass doors down towards the gardens. I found a spot, a beautiful spot where you could see the gardens stretching out into the distance and sat down. The grass was damp, the night sprinklers must have been on recently but I didn't care. The monkey suit would be thrown away. It wasn't me.

I drank the rest of the third bourbon and put the square glass down on the grass beside me, drew up my knees to my chest, grabbing the lighter from my pocket and the pack of smokes. It was a bad habit, I grant you that, but it was a comfort thing. I was out my depth at this party and this was my excuse to get out.

I lit the cigarette and I heard the quiet footsteps approach behind me. I smiled wryly. Should've known.

"Those things will kill even Shinigami."

"Guess so," I said as he sat beside me. "Can't persuade you to have one, Quat?"

He shook his head, his blonde hair shining under the moon light. He looked picture perfect in his own suit. I remembered saying to Heero that I always thought that Quatre was the best of us, you know. He was the one who hadn't lost himself entirely and still had some inherent… goodness, in him after all the shit. Heero didn't get it – he never did. He assumed as he wasn't physically as strong or as emotionally tough he should be disregarded. I could feel a bitter smile on my lips. Shit, there you go again, thinking about him.

"No, thanks," he answered.

I took a few drags and stubbed it out on the grass beside me. I guessed he would have strong feelings on second hand smoke. I looked at the view in front of us and waited for him to start talking. Instead he sat in silence as if knowing I would be one to say something first. He knew I wasn't a fan of silence and filled it with meaningless words.

I unfolded my legs and leaned back leaving him sat firmly upright. "You should see this," I said bringing out the lighter from my pocket. It was a small thing - black and green with the imprinted image of Deathscythe on it. I threw it over for him to look at. "Colony merchandise. You can get it in some pretty shitty gift shops – they had them all. Could be a good side line for the Winner Corp."

He looked at it. "They had Sandrock?"

I nodded. "Should've got one for you guys. Didn't have enough dough on me at the time, you know."

Quatre threw it back. I caught it and put it back in my pocket. I could see his baby blues looking closely at me.

"Duo… you just need to ask. I can help."

"No, I'm not having this conversation again, Quat. Leave it."

"But, it's not charity - it's a start up loan."

I sighed again and looked at the stars. I didn't want the money, I still had some accounts with stolen money from the war but I'd get a job at some point. I just needed time and Q wanted me to think more practically – I'd said something a while back about finding a little garage or something in the middle of nowhere and Q had took it to heart. He'd offered me money so many times that it had become a wedge in our friendship. His money and wealth sometimes made him feel bad when he looked at someone like me… raised on the streets, lost everyone who ever mattered to me, who fought, stole and hid. I didn't want him to give me cash to make him feel better, it stung my pride and I wanted to earn money – not be some lazy asshole who didn't deserve it.

"Quat, please. No more of this shit. It's not helping."

"Duo, I just want to help you."

"Yeah, you keep saying that."

I rose to my feet, grabbing the glass with the intention of taking it back to the house before making my exit. I could feel the effects of the alcohol on standing – it wasn't like I was drunk but I was well on the way. I walked quickly knowing he would follow, I could see as I approached that both Trowa and Wufei were outside seemingly sick of the party. They seemed to be talking but their eyes were in our direction. I guessed who they were talking about. I was getting sick of this – they all seemed to think I was going off the rails since Heero's disappearance.

"Duo, stop."

I stopped turning round to look at Quatre. He was looking all concerned and pleading. My words flew out of my mouth before thinking. Contrary to popular belief I usually think before I speak – I may talk a lot and some of it may well be irrelevant and pointless but usually I think about the words I'm saying. This time, I didn't.

"Quatre, you can't buy my friendship like you bought Trowa."

It was harsh - I could tell it had crossed a line that I could not step back from. He looked hurt. It felt like I'd kicked a puppy. I knew that it would hurt as Quatre wanted to be perceived as more than his money and there I go, reducing him to no more than that. I also made a judgement on a relationship I had no business judging. I could tell that Wufei and Trowa knew this was getting bad as they now walked over to us.

"Push me away, Duo," he said. "Push me away like you pushed Heero."

I saw red. The glass ended up at his feet, smashed into pieces. I had targeted it more directly at him but I guess the bourbon had disrupted my usually accurate aim. Suppose it was a good thing.

"Repeat that."

I could hear myself. The words sounded really harsh. Damn, I could be nasty piece of work but seemingly Quatre didn't care. He stepped forward.

"Push me away… push me away like you pushed Heero."

My arm jerked and I realised that Wufei was holding me back. Trowa had stepped forward, placing his body between the two of us and whispered something that I could not hear in his beau's ear. Quatre touched him on the arm in a gesture to move him to one side. Damn, Q, guess I know who wears the pants in that relationship.

"No, Trowa. I'm sick of not saying what he needs to hear. I'm sick of pretending that we need to protect him because we're worried about what he'll do."

I shrugged Wufei's arms off me. He let me go but didn't move away. I looked over to the party. Nobody was watching and nobody was missing us. Figured. We were an image, a figurehead and nothing else.

"Heero left because of you. He needed you and you pushed him away."

I shook my head. "You don't know anything, Q, you really don't."

"Yes, I do… Heero wanted something and you were the one that understood him. And you let him down…"

"If you think you knew so much, Quatre, tell me what was going on between us," I said, hearing my voice sounding a little loud and a little strained. "Tell me because I sure as hell didn't know… if it was beyond fuck buddies, he never let me know."

Quatre flinched at the term fuck buddies. I could feel all three sets of eyes on me and I made my decision. I turned away from Quatre eyes and started to walk away.

"Don't run away, Duo, come back."

I turned and flashed a grim smile. "You know me, Quat, I run, I hide…never tell a lie."

"Is this how it ends between us? You pushing us all away?"

I turned back to look, slowly walking backwards as I did. "Q, the way I see it, you'd never know me if there hadn't be a war."

It seemed he didn't have anything to say to that.

And I turned back round. He didn't try and stop me this time. I left avoiding speaking to anyone, not giving a damn what it looked like or where I was going. I waited by the valet for them to bring the old battered motorbike I'd "borrowed" and started it up without looking back, not caring about the fact I was over the limit as I suddenly felt quite sober.

The last image I was left with was Quatre, head bowed, Trowa's hand on his shoulder and Wufei stood alongside them but separate. It was quite the image and one that seemed burned in my head as I drove away. Yeah, keep running, I thought to myself, keep running and never look back.