"1,000 hits to the head."

A/N: Something else about 8.02.. When the auctioneer announced an Amulet up for bid my heart did a flip cause for HALF A SECOND I thought it was gonna be The Amulet.. They REALLY need to bring back The Amulet (Samulet to us fangirls as Sam's the one who gave it to Dean and it's something that represents their soulmate bond.. AND By the way.. Just cause Sam and Dean are soulmates that does NOT imply a sexual relationship (Sorry SLASH fans!.. Yes I like SLASH to BUT if Sam or Dean EVER REALLY kissed each othe ror another guy on the show I'd stop watching Supernatural (Unless it was a flashback to Hell or someone was possessed..ONLY THEN would I be okay with seeing THAT for REAL) .. It's a completely different thing to like reading and writing SLASH fictions and wanting to see SLASH for REAL on the show.) ANYWAY.. I believe that when a good loving parent sees their children for the first time that they see nothing less than their soulmates and Sam and Dean have THAT kind of soulmate bond because they kind of raised each other (Dean wouldn't have grown up so fast or the way he did if Sam hadn't been the kind of child he was (Lots of parents learn "How to grow up." as they raise their child so in symbolance the child also raises their parents.) but Dean was THE ONLY REAL mother OR father Sam had (John seemed to have more the relationship of an estranged uncle with Sam than the relationship of a dad and Bobby was more of a grandpa as Bobby was more Dean's dad than John as John and Dean seemed to have more the relationship of a Commander and a soldier than that of a Father and a son) SO THAT'S WHY the writers NEED to BRING BACK THE AMULET! Cause as a parent, child (EVERYONE is somebody's child even if they're 50!) and older sibling that Amulet Sam gave Dean is IMPORTANT to me because it represents a child's love for HIS DAD, MOM, BIG BROTHER AND SOULMATE all in one PERFECT gift so when Dean THREW IT AWAY in Season 5 "Dark side of the moon." I wanted to smack him! (It was OBVIOUS that Zachariah tampered with Sam's "Greatest Hits".. SERIOUSLY who thinks the night Sam went to Stanford was REALLY a good memory for Sam when the words John said that night was STILL haunting Sam TWO YEARS LATER? AND who DID NOT catch the flashbacks in Season 5 "Swan Song." which were Sam's REAL "Greatest Hits" that ALL had Dean in them?) and I've been mourning the loss of The Amulet and wanting it back ever since!). Season 8 Episode 3 "Heartache." Is it just me or has a lot of the people (or creatures) involved in the cases lately are starting to resemble Sam and Dean more and more? And don't even get me started on my many rants over what Dean said during "Southern Comfort."

Dean was a shaky wreck as he guided the understandably emotionally exhausted Amelia into the waiting room and meekly introduced her to Kevin. For the first time in a long time the chip on Dean's shoulder was gone as he felt truly humbled by the realization of how strong his little brother had to have been just to still be alive after all he'd been through over the last few months not to mention how strong Sam had to have been FOR YEARS to have kept it together in spite of EVERYTHING that'd happened after their father had died.

Kevin noticed the change in Dean. Suddenly Dean was no longer the frighteningly cold, calloused and hardened man that he'd been after coming back from Purgatory and now he was once again the battle wearied man who had to much weight on his shoulders that Kevin had met over a year ago.

The doors to the waiting room opened and a woman in surgical scrubs stepped through calling out "Family of Sam Taylor?" ...

Amelia sucked in a sharp sounding breath of fear, Kevin dug his fingernails into his own thigh in anticipation and Dean's face grew stony as he stood and said "We're his family."

The woman gave a sad smile and said "I'm Doctor Cobb. Would the three of you please walk back with me while I go over Sam's condition?" as she gestured to a hall that led behind the nurse's station.

Dean nodded feeling relieved as just those words assured him that Sam was at least alive.

Amelia, Kevin and Dean followed the doctor down the hall which led to several big thick looking oak doors that stood lined on both sides each adorned with bronze plaques that held the names and titles of those who occupied them.

The doctor stopped outside a door that held a plaque that said "Janine Cobb M.D., Ph.D., Chief of Neurosurgery." fished a set of keys from her pocket, unlocked the door opened it and gestured for everyone to enter the large well decorated office.

"Doctor how is Sam?" Amelia asked as everyone took a chair around Dr. Cobb's desk.

"Well I'll be honest Sam had a million odds against his survival during the surgery and he's got even more odds against his survival now. As it is.. I apologize.. But right now Sam is in a coma and it's doubtful he will wake and if he does it's very likely he'll be severely impaired." Dr. Cobb replied sounding solemn.

Amelia lifted a hand to her mouth as she started crying again and Dean squeezed her free hand as more tears of his own fell.

"Please tell us everything. We need to know." Kevin pleaded.

"How are you related to Mr. Taylor?" Dr. Cobb asked looking confused.

"He and Dean are my family." Kevin lied knowing the doctor couldn't share Sam's medical information with anyone other than Sam's spouse or Sam's relatives but he felt responsible for Sam being in such bad shape cause the way he'd had to just leave Sam lying on the side of the road in the cold and dark and he wanted to know if there was a way that he could help Sam now and for that he needed to know everything about Sam's condition.

"Oh." Dr. Cobb stammered then she got one of THOSE looks on her face as she continued to stammer saying "I assure you that the hospital recognizes adopted family as next of kin well as blood relation and spouses, I just had to be sure."

"Who said he was adopted?" Dean asked sternly not liking the doctor's racist assumption. No Kevin wasn't even really related by even adoption, not legally, but Dean had once told Sam that blood didn't make someone family, but the lack of some legal document didn't make someone NOT family either and Kevin's actions had not only saved Sam's life but Kevin had tried to get through to Sam's stubborn and pissed off older brother despite having been afraid and that made Kevin as good as real family on any given day in Dean's eyes.

Dr. Cobb looked taken aback and replied "I apologize, it was very wrong of me to just assume.. Of course I'll give all of you any information you may want or need on Sam's condition.. I'll just have my assistant bring his scans, his labs.. Everything you need."

Kevin, Dean and Amelia all nodded looking slightly smug about the doctor's being given a lesson in humility.

~0~ ~0~ ~0~ ~0~

Dr. Cobb went over Sam's brain scans and took time to not only point out the areas of spinal nerve damage and brain damage and death and explain how old each area of damage and death appeared to be and all the symptoms all of it could cause, which Amelia and Dean already mostly knew about anyway, but she also took the time to go over how each area of damage and death effected Sam in general aside from the symptoms the combination of everything would cause.

She pointed to an area saying "This is the Diencephalon it resides between the Cerebral Hemispheres or the Telencephalon." She pointed to both sides of the largest area of Sam's brain before continuing with " And it contains the Subthalamus, Epithalamus, Hypothalamus and Thalamas." She pointed to each one "The Thalamus controls auditory, Visual and Somatosensory signals.."

"What are Somatosensory signals?" Dean interupted to ask.

"Touch Perception, Motor Function Control, pain response." The doctor rattled off before continuing with

"This area here has damage that's about nine and a half years to eleven years old and the symptoms Sam may have experienced over the years because of that damage are: Vivid dreams or nightmares, audio and visual hallucinations, pain, problems with coordination, and even some uncontrolled or delayed muscle movements. "

"This area is This area is the Limbic System." She circled an area with her finger.

"It's the area where emotions reside, where memory begins and where these two functions combine together to mark behaviors with positive or negative feelings."

"It's where mostly unconscious value judgements are made. This is the Hypothalamus part of the Limbic System." She pointed to another area.

"It helps control things such as sleeping and waking cycles, appetite, thirst, other bodily urges and it also plays a role in emotions, autonomic functions and motor functions."

"The damage in this area is also about nine and a half years old and the symptoms Sam may have experienced over the years because of that damage are: Trouble sleeping or staying awake for consistent periods of time, loss of appetite or extreme hunger or unquenchable thirst, emotional despondence or depression, emotional dependance, emotional insecurity and as the damage progressed paranoid delusions, addiction seeking behaviors, personality changes and mood swings, possibly even violent outbursts."

"This area is the Hippocampus which controls memory, so far this area remains undamaged but that does not mean that Sam won't experience memory loss now or at some point in the future. This area is the Neocortex." She circled another area.

"It is divided into two hemispheres, right and left. The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body and vice versa. Also the hemispheres are divided in terms of what kind of thought they process or produce. The right being more concerned with the artistic, spatial and musical. While the left is more concerned with the colder, linear, rational and verbal aspects. This area is." She pointed to the right of the scan. "The left Frontal Lobe it is responsible for functions such as reasoning, problem solving, judgement, impulse control."

"The Frontal Lobe is also the last part of the brain to develop, not reaching completion of development until a person reaches young adulthood or about twenty-five years of age for some males."

"The damage in this area happened before complete development and the symptoms Sam may have experienced over the years because of that damage are: Inability to rationalize, problems with poor judgement, problems with problem solving and problems with impulse control which is worrying especially when considering the damage to the Hypothalamus and the possibility of addiction seeking behaviors.. Then add in the fact that all of the damage and death of his brain combined can cause seizures, severe pain, emotional disturbances and so many other things..

"But the injuries Sam sustained tonight are most concerning as these areas here." Dr. Cobb circled a few areas

"Started to bleed causing Sam to suffer a Hemorrhagic Stroke and the symptoms of that include but are not limited to Confusion, trouble speaking or understanding, trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination, trouble seeing in one or both eyes, numbness, weakness, or paralysis of the face, arms, and or legs, but mostly only one side of the body is usually effected after a stroke. But because this are the Corpus Callosum which is the area that communicates between the right and left hemispheres of the brain had a bleed as well it could mean that any symptoms and side effects of the stroke may possibly be seen in both sides of Sam's body. Unfortunately we won't know the full extent of the effects of any of the combined damage until Sam wakes up."

"But I do have to stress how unlikely it is that Sam will wake up as it's honestly a medical miracle that he was even up walking around after suffering the amount of brain damage he was already suffering from"..

"But the fact that he was functioning at all after sustaining any brain death, when any brain death should have rendered Sam into a persistent vegetative state.. Well that should have been impossible.. Yet he's proof that not all science on the brain isn't correct.. So, I just have to accept that with Sam I'm seeing things I've never seen before.. The fact that he has any reading at all on his EEG is remarkable and the fact that there's any possibility that hey could wake up at all is astounding."

"I will tell you that the areas of brain death is inoperable and though there are medications that can help regenerate the areas of dead brain tissue it's doubtful that if Sam were to wake that he'll ever regain whatever functions the damages robs him of and I hate to say this"..

"But if Sam does wake from the coma it is very doubtful that he'll live very long as when the blood vessels burst in his brain it spread the contamination of the once miraculously stable brain death that was jarred and further compromised by whatever impact or impacts he sustained tonight like a gangrenes infection with the blood throughout his brain.. The effects of which could be incomprehensible. It could cause complete brain death, there's honestly no way to tell because Sam's the first person I've ever seen to live so long with such serious brain injuries that have gone untreated. And that's not even touching on the subject of the old spinal injury that appears to have also gone for years without treatment and all the complications that it could have and could still cause. If Sam's injuries could have been caught and treated sooner, none of this would have happened."

~0~

Dean was VERY pissed at himself. He'd really hurt his little brother's already fragile psyche along with whatever physical damage he'd inflicted with his fist and the knives of guilt were cutting him deep on that because he knew deep down that Sam's brain hemorrhaging was his fault. If he hadn't ignored Kevin's request to get Sam to a hospital then none of tonight's horrific events would've happened. But Dean had ignored Kevin's request and he'd said hurtful words that were so awful and he'd gone so far as to hit his little brother over something as stupid as resentments over things that hadn't even ever been Sam's fault.

And it wasn't just the Purgatory thing that Dean was feeling like a major asshat over.

No. Because if the doctor was right then ten years ago Sam had suffered a bad enough blow to the head to cause significant brain damage that had put Sam on the path to the addiction to demon blood and all the bad choices Sam had made in the first place and Sam hadn't even done anything for himself back then because Dean had been in a coma and their dad was.. Well being the way their dad was. Thus making Sam the only one to fight for Dean.

And yeah about two years ago when he'd played DEATH Dean had remembered the whole thing where it had seemed that Sam was the only one fighting for Dean's life while their dad had seemingly sat by willingly watching Dean die for a second time and Dean had then understood why Sam had been so angry at their dad right before their dad died and why his little brother had felt so horrible after their dad's death. But Dean had foregone telling Sam any of that because he'd been distracted by Sam actually having a soul again.

And now Dean was looking back on all the times he'd called Sam selfish. On all the times he'd thrown Sam's mistakes in Sam's face like those mistakes were something that couldn't be forgiven when in fact Dean had made some unforgivable mistakes of his own and he was now truly feeling like a hypocritical jackass because now Sam could die thinking his own big brother hated him and.. How would Sam have the will to live through THAT especially after everything he'd been through?..

Dean looked back on all the times he'd treated Sam as if Sam didn't deserve to get to know anything about THEIR mom as if THEIR mom was something Sam could never even mention. He looked back over the time that he'd not allowed Sam to grieve THEIR father's death and how he'd pretty much told Sam he'd been a bad son.. GOD that must have devastated the kid.. Especially after what Yellow Eyes had said and how Sam had thought their mom's death had been his fault even though he'd only been a baby when their mom died and especially after Sam had blamed himself for what had happened to Jessica..

It was like Sam had lost everything back then. And the kid had been dealing with a severe head injury to boot.. It was suddenly no wonder why Sam had spiraled out of control like he had.

If it had been Dean in Sam's shoes and he'd lost EVERYTHING then had to watch Sam die over a hundred times in a row and then watch again as hellhounds ripped Sam to shreds knowing Sam was going to Hell.. for HIM.. Well Dean would've become a way worse monster than Sam ever could have even thought about being... And that was without needing a head injury to help him along.

Dean felt horrible as he remembered how Sam had talked about having visions for weeks before Jessica's death and he knew the visions caused pain.. What if the pain had been damage happening to Sam's brain back then? The doctor did say that some of the brain damage was older than nine years which could mean that Sam had, had injuries to his brain caused by the first visions or something that happened before even then and the thought of that pained Dean..

Because of all the times Sam had collapsed from those stupid visions were moments that Dean could've taken Sam to a hospital but didn't because finding their dad and hunting had been Dean's only priorities besides keeping HIS Sammy safe.. "Bang up job I did with that one." Dean thought.

A lot of what the doctor had said since Dean had gotten lost so deeply in thought had all been something Dean hadn't heard but he did hear someone telling him he should sit back down and calm down before security was called and he snapped back to awareness to find that: He had stood up and apparently had slammed his fist down on the doctor's desk.. And apparently more than once because his knuckles on both hands were bleeding..

"What did I just do?" Dean whispered in confusion.

Kevin looked scared as hell but Amelia looked as fierce as Dean was feeling as she stood put a hand on his shoulder and whispered "The doctor was saying how the hospital staff are not equipped to handle caring for Sam throughout the entirety of of his condition and that once Sam was healed from the surgery that Sam should be transferred to a hospice so that he can live out the remainder of his life comfortably and in the care of professionals who are trained to handle situations like Sam's and that's when you flew out of your chair started hitting the desk and yelling that you weren't gonna leave Sam to rot in a place like that and that you weren't leaving him to die period."

"And I completely agree with Dean." Amelia added as she looked straight at the doctor "WE will not be requiring the services of a hospice so if you intend to release Sam you'll be releasing him into OUR care. Understood?"

"Yes, of course." Doctor Cobb stammered as she looked at Dean and said. "I understand that it's an upsetting situation so of course I'm sympathetic.. BUT I do have to warn that further "outbursts" will have to be dealt with accordingly."

"No need to worry doctor I'll make sure he behaves." Amelia stated as if she knew exactly how to take on such a task. "Now can we please go see Sam?"

The doctor nodded and said "Sam's in room three twenty three.. Just go up to the third floor the elevator will let out into a waiting room on your left there'll be a door. Just pick up the phone and it'll automatically connect you to one of the third floor nurse's station all you have to do is tell them the room number and the patient's name and they'll buzz you in."

"Wait. Sam's in a secure ward?!.. Why? You said he was in a coma!" Dean growled.

"Dean you need to focus on staying calm." Amelia said scoldingly. "Sam needs you to stay calm."

"Sam is on a secure floor." The doctor replied as she held up her hands in a defensive gesture for just in case Dean lashed out at her this time. "But not for the reasons you think.. You see the entire third floor is for patients with compromised immune systems.. It's to help keep Sam from getting sick while he heals from surgery. And the whole floor is an observation ward meaning that Sam's room is in view of one of the four nurse's stations."

"Oh." Dean stated as he let out a frustrated sigh that became a shaky, nervous chuckle as he continued with "Sorry.. I just."

"I understand Mr. Taylor." The doctor stated. "Just please keep your temper reigned in... Especially up there.. There are several patients up on the third floor whose families are just as worried for them as you are for Sam. Most of them are children with cancer and you could frighten them if you were to have another outburst up there... So please be as considerate of them as you would want their families and our staff to be to you and your family during your brother's stay in our hospital."

"Okay doc." Dean replied feeling chastised as he thought about how Sam would be disappointed in him if he frightened some poor little sick kid. "I won't lose it again I swear."

"Good." The Doctor Cobb said with a nod "This is a teaching hospital. So, tomorrow morning when I do my runs I'll have about three to five medical interns with me, they'll do the simple stuff like take Sam's vitals while I go over Sam's chart and make sure that your family stays up to date on Sam's condition. The nurses will keep you up to date on Sam's medications and if you have any questions all you need to do is ask. To find the elevators go down the hall we came down, go out past the nurse's station and on your right is another hall that has a blue stripe along the center of the wall, the elevators will be at the end of that hall and the hall that connects at the end goes out to the cafeteria and main lobby of the hospital."

"Okay. Thanks for everything doctor." Amelia stated.

"You're welcome. See you all tomorrow." Doctor Cobb replied.

"See you tomorrow." Kevin chimed in meekly.

Dean was just suddenly glad that Sam would have a tomorrow as he looked at the doctor and said with the deepest sincerity "Thank you for saving my brother's life Doctor Cobb. Really.. Sammy means the world to me." Dean had tears trailing down his cheeks and more forming in his eyes as he poured out his thanks because he was realizing just how close he'd been to losing his brother. How close to losing HIS Sammy he still was.

"I think anyone can see that Mr. Taylor." The doctor said with a smile. "Now go see your brother."

"Yes ma'am." Dean replied with a watery smile and a nod. The doctor wasn't such a bad lady once Dean had softened up to her a bit.

Dean, Kevin and Amelia followed Doctor Cobb's instructions and soon found the hall with the blue stripe along the center of the wall. While they walked Kevin asked Amelia how she'd known how to handle Dean's "little" outburst back in the doctor's office especially since Dean himself hadn't even seemed to remember having said outburst.

"Well before I met Sam.. I was.. I was married to a man name Don who enlisted because of what happened to the World Trade Center on Nine, Eleven. He just enlisted.. Didn't even ask me.. He said something about it being the right thing to do and the next thing I knew he was gone. He completed Basic Training and was deployed overseas... After that I started learning all I could about the lives of soldiers.. About what they went through on the battle field.. About what their lives might be like when they came home.. I learned a lot about Post Traumatic Stress during that time. .. But Don never came home.. He died before his first tour was up.. It was a road side I.E.D. that killed him and half his squad"..

"And I couldn't live with being alone but I couldn't kill myself either so I ran.. I kept moving around trying to outrun the knowledge of the fact that I'd lost the only person who would ever mean everything to me.. I was already a veterinarian so it wasn't hard to stay afloat."..

"I grew to be a bit harsh and cynical during that time and then one day this bigger than life guy shows up at one of my offices in the middle of the night and he's holding this dog that he'd hit."..

"He was so big and to look at him you'd think that he'd be all an insensitive macho manly man or that someone like him would be un-phased by hitting a dog."..

"Honestly most people are.. With most people that dog would have just been left to die lying on the side of the road while the person who'd hit it drove off without a second thought if I'm to be really honest."..

"The dog wasn't even his nor did he know the owner.. But this larger than life guy.. Was crushed.. I mean literally crushed by the fact that he'd hurt another living creature even by accident."..

"There was so much guilt in him and there was something in his eyes.. This sensitivity and I don't know but there was kind of this innocence in his eyes to, but also a lot of pain and grief and to just see so many emotions in someone who seems so strong.. I was captivated by him and I soon came to find that he had had a fight with his brother and that he had left their family business.. We became friends within days and the next thing I know he's asking me if I can care for the dog because he had found a case similar to the ones he'd used to take when working his family business and that even though he was no longer working with his brother he couldn't just quit working."

"So he was going back to the work he'd done before meeting me but he promised to keep in touch and to come by once in a while to make sure that the dog was okay."

"But taking care of the dog for him gave me a reason to stay put.. It gave me something to live for again. So I did it."

"I didn't see Sam again until months later when he turned up on my front porch in need of a friend.. He was a wreck and I could tell from all the things that I'd learned about Post Traumatic Stress that Sam was suffering from it.. And then it clicked that some of the things I'd seen in him the night we'd first met was probably also mostly due to Post Traumatic Stress and I was kicking myself for not having seen it sooner.. I mean I was supposed to be his friend and I hadn't caught the signs even after everything I'd put into learning about it.. But he'd come back and I knew he'd need someone who could understand both his loss and the Post Traumatic Stress that he was dealing with.. And then I learned some things about Sam's very complicated life and realized that it was no wonder that Sam was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress because any other human being would be after what Sam had gone through if they didn't lose their minds completely that is. But learning some things about Sam's life meant also learning some things about Dean's life and I know the signs of Post Traumatic Stress when I see them and an outburst like Dean had back in the doctor's office and the way he didn't remember having it is a clear sign that Dean is also suffering from Post Traumatic Stress. In fact violent outburst aren't uncommon at all for people who suffer from it."

"I appreciate the fact that you were trying to look out for me back there. But don't go trying to psychoanalyse me lady." Dean said in retort "You don't know anything about me."

"I know enough to know that you've literally been through Hell and back and I know enough to know that a person doesn't come back from something like that without at least both mental and emotional wounds." Amelia replied calmly.

"Mental and emotional wounds. No wonder Sam likes you. That's exactly the kind of emo crap that he would buy into." Dean said with annoyance.

"You can deny it all you want Dean. But you do have symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress whether you like it or not. And you wanna know something Dean?"

"What?" Dean huffed.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Dean rolled his eyes. There was no way he was going to even think about trying to deal with whatever bullcrap Amelia was talking about when Sam was fighting for his life.

"I'm serious Dean.. And you are going to need help to deal with it. Just like Sam did."

"I don't need..."..

"You can say you don't need help till the cows come home. But here's the reality of the situation. Let's say you don't get help and Sam eventually wakes up.. Sam's going to already have a lot to deal with in terms of his own healing. NOW.. What if you suffer from an episode and during a violent outburst you were to lash out at Sam?.. It could cause several setbacks in Sam's recovery.. If not do irrevocable damages to his mind or body."

Dean looked at the floor guiltily.. Because that had already happened and Amelia didn't even have to know to peg something that had happened and had a very real chance of happening again knowing Dean's increasingly foul temper dead on. ..

"Okay." Dean sighed. "You're right. I'll get help."

Kevin looked surprised as Hell but Amelia looked proud of both herself and Dean.

"Good. Dean.. That's really great." Amelia said with genuine praise.

Dean gave his sister-in-law a beaming smile of affection. He really could see why Sam liked this girl. ..

A/N: PLEASE review! Let me know what you think of this Chapter! Also points to the readers who guess where I got the name "Janine Cobb.".. Hint she could also be called "Jane Cobb" or "Jayne Cobb."