Hey everyone~ Okay first of all I am SO SORRY that I left you guys hanging for so long! Very shortly after the last chapter, my long-dormant depression came back! That was so hard for me, and I really hope you can forgive my long absence. Luckily, I'm on medication now and I've been feeling so much better lately. I don't want to keep you any longer, so read more about what's been happening in my life at the end of the chapter! Please enjoy ~

Back in the hotel room, I slump down onto our bed, a shaky breath escaping me. Did that really just happen? I try to gather my thoughts, but Utau's melodic voice over the sound of the shower running behind the closed bathroom door distracts me.

"If you're near or far, whether short or tall~" she sings with just a hint of her Japanese accent coming through. It's some song I've never heard before, but she makes it sound absolutely enchanting.

I shiver, still wet and cold from the hot tub. My face feels sticky from sweat, not just from the heat of the tub, but from my still-unresolved vibrator stint earlier. The tension in my shoulders is building, my pussy still aches, and my temples are throbbing with a headache. I feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes, and quickly dab them away with the towel I have wrapped around me. What I wouldn't give to be in the shower right now.

Luckily, I hear the water being turned off, leaving only Utau's beautiful song. Soon after, the bathroom door opens, and she emerges in just a towel, her long, wet hair down and her violet eyes wide when she sees me. "Oh my god Amu, are you okay?"

Sniffling, shaking, and damp, I probably look like quite a mess. "I think I will be."

"What's wrong?" she asked, coming over and sitting next to me on the bed.

I take a breath to steady myself. "Ikuto...Ikuto and I confessed to each other."

A knowing, somewhat anxious look crossed her face. "And what happened? If you don't mind my asking."

"Well..." Honestly, I'm still pretty dazed about it. I can feel thoughts flying around in my head at a million miles a second, and I'm struggling to grab them and piece them together. "He said he liked me and wanted to 'start something' with me, then I said I liked him back, but...like, I didn't want to do that with him right now..."

She nods sympathetically. "If that's the case, I'm sure he understands. He acts pretty childishly sometimes, but he really is one of the most mature people I know."

Right now, that seems a little surprising to me. I'll have to remember to ask her about it later, but what matters now is trying to get myself sorted out. "But I'm just worried because...I don't know if that's really true. I don't even know why I said that..." Hot tears sting at my eyes again, and I try to blink them away. Utau strokes my back with her palm, and at that I finally let them fall.

"Shh, it's alright. We'll get it all figured out."

I sniffle, wiping my face with the back of my hand. At this rate, I'm heading straight into ugly-crying territory. I breathe out, trying to let go of some of the tension. "Okay. Sorry, I'm just so stressed out right now. And I don't even know if I'm lying to myself, or what the hell is going on."

"Don't ever apologize for being overwhelmed, Amu-chan. It happens to everyone." She smiles knowingly. "Besides, it seems like you've already found a way of dealing with it..."

What is she talking about? Wait...I feel the color drain from my face at the realization. "You don't mean..."

My worst fears are confirmed when she holds up my bullet vibrator, which she'd been hiding in her other hand. I don't feel my hands coming up to cover my face, but I do hear the embarrassed wail I make being muffled by them. Can I just curl up and die right here? Or maybe just run away into the city and complete my catlady destiny here in Chicago, thousands of miles away from everyone I've ever met?

She giggles, and it's the laugh of someone who's completely unfazed by such objects. "Amu-chan, it's totally okay. I promise that it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Will you come cat-shopping with me, then?" I ask, peeking out from between my fingers.

"Yeah, I don't really know what that means." She sets the vibrator back down on the bed. "I'm just saying that that's a perfectly healthy way to relieve stress. There's absolutely no shame in it. And you can always talk to me about that sort of stuff."

My hands slowly peel off from my face. "Really?"

"Of course! In fact, if you don't mind hearing my unsolicited opinion, I think you could do a lot better than that," she says, pointing at the toy.

I look at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

She shrugs, a smile on her face. "I'm just saying, go big or go home. When it comes to your sexual health, you deserve no less than the very best. And I'd be more than happy to go shopping with you. Not for cats, though."

I find myself impressed with how comfortable she is with the subject. Her offer makes me a bit anxious, though – am I really the kind of person who could go sex toy shopping with a friend?

Sensing my hesitance, she quickly reassures me. "Don't worry, it makes things so much easier! There's way less pressure, and it will be a good way to take your mind off the heavy stuff for a while."

Well, I certainly could use a break from everything, even if it's just a trip back into the city. Finally letting out some of my tension with a laugh, I turn to her. "Sure, why not?"

We take a taxi back to the same shop that Ikuto and I went to earlier, admiring the way the city sparkles at night along the way. Entering the boutique seemed much less intimidating with Utau by my side. Even if I'm still not totally at home, I'm definitely more at ease. Instead of wandering off right away, she takes a few steps in front of me before looking back over her shoulder and motioning for me to follow her. We head over to a large wall display containing all sorts of toys, from cheap bullets like mine, to anal plugs, to cock rings, to objects that I couldn't even begin to identify.

She turns to me, flipping one of her twintails. "So, where do you think we should start?"

I gaze at the display, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "I don't even know what half of these are!" I say, perhaps a bit more loudly and awkwardly than necessary.

"Well, what do you think you would want?"

That's probably easier to answer, but I'm still not sure. Honestly, the only experience that I have with toys at all comes from somewhat tame porn and the five minutes that I spent with my new bullet. "Maybe...a vibrator, then? Like, the ones that actually go inside you?"

She nodded, smiling. "Alright, let's find something that would be good for a beginner first. Maybe we'll grab something bigger for when you get more used to it, too."

"Wait...how many kinds are there?" I guess that my request hadn't narrowed things down as much as I thought it might. Luckily, she seemed to know her way around.

We spent quite a while comparing and contrasting similar vibrators, and eventually settled on two – one with a small bulb to stimulate the g-spot with a butterfly design with antennae to tickle the clit, and a rabbit-style one with a full-sized dick with ears that flutter on the same spot. After that, she went back up to the front and grabbed a basket, throwing in the two toys.

"Wait, a basket? We're getting more things?" I asked, a bit puzzled.

She shrugs. "Might as well. I mean, we're already here, right?"

Venturing back to the displays, she helps me pick out a few more items. As she tosses something into the handbasket, she turns back to me, a concerned smile on her face. "So...about earlier."

I feel the blood rush to my face, heating my cheeks and ears. "Y-Yeah? What about it?" Of all the things in this store, why is this making me blush?

"So, when you said that Ikuto said he wanted to 'start something' with you, do you know exactly what he meant by that?"

"Of course! I mean, obviously he wants-" I pause, my mouth still open mid-sentence. "He wants..." He didn't use the word "relationship," did he?

The scene resurfaces in my mind quite forcefully, probably since I was trying to push it down so hard. Sitting close together, his bare arm around my mostly-naked body, the words left his mouth in an almost boyish confession. "I was wondering...if you'd like to try to start something with me?" The words echo in my head, bouncing around and around filling up all the space. Start something. Start something.

"Um, he wants..." I bite my lip, looking up into the taller girl's eyes. "Sex?"

She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "Did he say like, a friends-with-benefits relationship? A one night fling?"

The thought gets me even more flustered. "No! No no no, it was more like...I mean, maybe. He didn't say anything about the...well, the nature of the...'relationship', I guess."

Utau sighed, shaking her head. "Amu, how can you possibly expect any kind of relationship to work out if you don't communicate about it?"

"I said I didn't want a relationship!" I could feel my face burning.

"Then what do you want?" she asked, her amethyst eyes boring into mine.

"I want...I..." I stopped in my tracks. Why couldn't that question be easier? Shouldn't I know the answer by now? "I don't know...I don't know what I want." As the tears started stinging at my eyes again, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay not to know right now. You're young. You'll figure it out."

Before I could say anything, she pulled me into a warm embrace. The softness of her shirt pressed up against my cheek, and I felt hot tears finally spilling down my face. Crying in a hotel hot tub and a sex shop in the same day – what a mess.

She stepped back, smiling at me reassuringly as she wiped away my tears with her sleeve. "It's okay. It's okay to not want a purely sexual relationship with someone you want to be with romantically. In fact, it's better that you're honest with yourself about that before you jump into a situation that might break your heart."

I feel myself sniffling. "Really?"

She gives me a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Really really. If you're at all unsure about getting into bed with someone, it might be best to listen to your heart. No sex is good enough to be worth lying to yourself."

"Lying to myself...?" I took a deep breath in, holding it for a second before slowly releasing it. Chill status: found.

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. If there's anyone who deserves your complete and total honesty, it's you." Her fingers came up to push an unruly strand of hair behind my ear. "In fact, if it's romance you want, I know someone you'd be very interested in."

"Maybe...maybe that would be nice." Perhaps something sweet is just what I need right now. Flowers, chocolates, sweet forehead kisses – yes. All of this sounds better than some feline pervert making inappropriate jokes every chance he gets.

"Good. I'll shoot him a text. But come on, you've got some toys to try out."

"Some...wh-what?"

"Come on! It's my treat!"

Before I knew it, I was being dragged by my wrist up to the counter, forever at the mercy of my twintailed friend.

Looking down at the greasy, half-eaten burger in front of me, I smile, shaking my head. "I still can't believe they took us McDonald's on a school field trip."

Yaya sits across from me at the circular table, her energy seemingly barely contained as a gentle snowfall drifts around us. The weather is cool, though not unbearably cold under the giant golden arches supporting the huge restaurant. She gestures to the multi-story glass building. "It's not like the ones back home, Amu-chi! It's got TVs and fat people and giant gold oranges!"

"Arches, Yaya," Rima corrects. She plucks a single golden fry from my lunch, having devoured all of hers already.

"Yeah, but..." I hesitate, glancing at my cheeseburger once again. "It's still the same food as the ones back at home."

"Whatever~ What matters is that we're all eating it together! Food tastes better with friends and snow, right Amu-chi?"

"Right." She has a point - what matters is that they are the ones sitting here with me. The boys have gathered at their own table inside, wanting to get out of the winter weather. After seeing that, I had quickly convinced my college roomies to sit outside with me by frantically arguing that warm food would taste much better in the cold air. Utau had snuck away to take a walk – fast food wasn't exactly up her alley.

"You would be the expert, Amu. It seems like everything you've eaten today has been in the cold – even I'm getting chilly sitting next to your shoulder..." Rima remarks, stealing the last of my fries.

My head tilts in confusion. "My...shoulder?" As the dots connect, my face lights up red. "I'm not giving anyone the cold shoulder! W-why would you even think that?"

"Oh, I suppose I was mistaken, then," she says, side-eyeing the boys horsing around inside the restaurant. Her expression showed not even the smallest hint of remorse.

"I-I don't even know where you would get that idea! I mean, it's not like anything even happened! It's not like Ikuto asked me to- mm!" My continuous stream of thought is suddenly interrupted by a single golden fry against my mouth.

Rima's eyes meet mine, giving me a look that could only be interpreted as calm down, I get it. She pushes the fry into my mouth, silencing me before I can keep talking and embarrass myself even further.

I hear a shutter sound and look over across the table. "Yaya!"

"Shh! I'm typing!" The chestnut-haired girl says, tapping frantically on her phone. "Done!" She flips it around, showing us the screen. On it, a picture of Rima and I looking intensely into each others eyes as she feeds me a fry stares back at us, posted on Yaya's Twitter. The caption, "fun times at McDs! #whereisherchill #itsrightthere #shouldercoldashell" adorns the bottom.

I quickly snatch the phone out of her hands, searching for the delete button. Just as I find it, however, the phone buzzes and chirps in my hand.

"Amu-chi, give it back! I got a notification!"

"Yeah, I see that..." At the bottom of the screen, a new message pops up.

"TheMidnightCat liked this".

Hey again! Thanks again for being so patient with me. I'm doing so much better now, and a lot of that has to do with getting my life sorted out – instead of doing pre-med like I thought I would, I've figured out what I really want to do with my life. *drumroll please* ...sexual health education! That's right, I'm studying Women's and Gender Studies now, and plan on going to grad school for Human Sexuality. I really hope to become a sexologist and/or a college professor in my career, and make quality sexual health information readily available to everyone. Are you surprised? ;)

Thank you guys so much for your support of me throughout the years and always inspiring me to continue. I love you all so much, and you are all so important to me. I really doubt that I would have even gotten to this point in my life without your help. Keep on keeping on, honeys!