Two parter! I'm proud of myself! So, um, Remus is an author whose work has been published in both the Muggle and wizarding world, so, ya know. And Tonks would totally be a fangirl of her favorite authors/musicians/actors. I own nothing.

The combined kitchen and dining area of the flat was normal enough, for a single man in his twenties. Dishes, utensils, and glasses were stacked in the sink, unwashed, two open boxes of dry cereal were on the counter, and the three wooden chairs did not match each other or the old, beat up table, upon which was a dirty tablecloth, upon which was an open laptop, upon which was the head of one Remus Lupin, who was snoring fast asleep. His cheek was stuck to the keyboard and his hair fell in his eyes. He looked absolutely dead to the world.

Which was why Tonks screamed when, upon leaning over his shoulder to see what was on the screen, he literally growled and jerked upright, looking around in mild panic before he realized who it was, and he blearily rubbed the sleep away from his eyes, trying to focus on Tonks. He frowned.

"Wasn't your hair pink?" he asked, examining the long black locks that fell to her waist. She nodded.

"My head hurts. I changed it."

"Right. Headache. Hangover..." Remus yawned and stumbled around the table to make it to the counter, where he set about making coffee. "Wait," he said, frowning as he turned around, "How did you change your- don't read that!"

But it was too late. Tonks had dropped into his empty seat and was now scanning the document he had up, her blue eyes - wait, no, they were green, how did she do that? - slowly widening.

"Fairy?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper as she read the names of the characters up on the screen. "Calleigh? Talon? Merlin's beard! You're R.J. Marauder!"

He didn't say anything, but he supposed his sheepish look was answer enough. "Oh my gosh!" she squealed, clasping her hands together. "I am your biggest fan! I actually started a club for your books in my fifth year at Hogwarts! Just wait till I tell Charlie I met you. Why didn't you tell me? You are my role model, you are my god, you are... looking at me like I'm insane."

"Well, you sort of answered your own question there," Remus said uncomfortably.

"What, you don't like having girls practically wet themselves with excitement?" asked a third voice as Sirius staggered into the kitchen. "Coffee, Remus, coffee."

"I'm working on it," Remus said, gently prying the laptop away from Tonks, saving the document, and closing it. "And no, I don't like that. That's why I don't have my real name on the books."

"But you're young," Tonks said, clearly puzzled. "I figured you'd be, y'know, older." She suddenly whirled on her cousin, then grimaced and clutched at her head. "Sirius!" she said, sounding suddenly weak but still angry. "Why didn't you tell me you knew R.J. Marauder?"

"One, he got the first book published when we were sixteen," Sirius said, sounding rather zombie-like. "And two, I didn't tell you for the same reason he doesn't put his real name on there. He doesn't like being in the spotlight, for whatever reason. Is the coffee done yet?" he asked, whining, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"No. And let me be the first to tell you that you look bloody awful this morning," Remus commented, leaning against the counter. Tonks still looked put-out and slightly in awe, but Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You're one to talk. When did you last sleep?"

"Last night," Remus said calmly. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"He was asleep at the table," Tonks chimed in. "And the laptop was still on, hadn't even gone to screen saver, so he must have fallen asleep within thirty minutes or so."

Remus shrugged.

"Idiot," Sirius said fondly, as the coffee maker finally beeped, and Remus grabbed three coffee mugs out of the cabinet, pouring equal amount in each. "Tonks, do you want sugar?" he asked politely, handing Sirius a cup of black coffee; the man picked it up and took a long swallow. Remus was already putting exactly one and a half spoonfuls of sugar in his and pulling out the carton of vanilla ice cream that he used in place of creamer to put another spoonful in. She nodded fervently, and he handed her the spoon, box of sugar, and coffee, fixing a bowl of ice cream for Sirius and placing it in front of him with another spoon, automatically taking the now-empty coffee cup and refilling it. Tonks watched with a rather bemused expression.

"You've done this a lot," she commented, and Remus and Sirius both nodded.

"I've know this sorry idiot for the better part of my life," Remus said with a shrug, finally sitting down to his own coffee. His eyelids felt heavy, and his thoughts sluggish.

"Oh, I'm the sorry bloke, am I?" Sirius asked, feigning indignation. "Actually, I am. What about James, though?"

"James doesn't go getting himself drunk this often, and when he does he calls Lily." Remus frowned. "Speaking of which, I'm leaving you there next time."

"I'll bring Tonksy with me as insurance you'll come."

"I'll just take her home," Remus said, and with Sirius opened his mouth argue, he cut him off with, "And I'll take your bike with me. And your wand. No Apparation."

Sirius grunted, sticking a huge spoonful of ice cream in his mouth to avoid answering, though he continued to scowl at his old friend.

"Tonks, please stop looking at me like that," Remus said uncomfortably, and Sirius snickered. Tonks blinked, seemingly unaware of the awestruck looks she had been giving him. She flushed and took a swig of her coffee, just for something to do with her hands.

Remus shook his head exasperatedly. Here he was, almost seven years after publishing his first book without anyone knowing it was him, and here was one of his best friend's cousins in his kitchen, hungover and practically drooling over the fact that he was an author.

"Moony," Sirius said suddenly, and Remus looked up, aware of the fact that he had been dozing, his forehead practically touching the table.

"Hm?" he said, looking up at Sirius. His eyes took a few seconds to focus. The black-haired man shook his head, grinning.

"You stupid writer you. I'm hiding your laptop and taking Tonks home, and you are going to bed."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "And when have I ever taken orders from you?"

"Any and every time I gave them. Bed. Now. I'll drag James and Peter down here next week."

Remus nodded sleepily, too exhausted to argue, and stood slowly, aware that Sirius had unplugged his laptop and was placing it beneath the sink. He shook his head, smiling ruefully as he realized he probably wouldn't remember that when he woke up. He flicked his first two fingers in his guests' direction in some semblance of a wave, then stumbled back to his bedroom. He heard Sirius laugh, and Tonks's admonishing voice, then everything was blissfully silent.