A/N: I don't even know where this came from..

Mercedes was going to murder him. Not the sly, calculating, well thought out murder that would land her a segment on Deadly Women, but a straightforward, classic, knife to the chest kill. So what if she would spend the rest of her life in prison, this free-range thing was overrated anyway. The little devil on her left shoulder told her to use a butcher knife because it got the job done, but the little angel on her right shoulder told her to take calming breaths and be the bigger person. Being a Christian woman, Mercedes gave her little angel the benefit of the doubt and pushed all the murderous thoughts aside.

"YES! YES! RIGHT THERE!"

Murder thoughts back. Mercedes growled in frustration and pounded the wall behind her. "Shut up!"

The sounds of that irritating bitch's voice and the bed banging against her wall ceased, and for a second Mercedes thought her efforts worked. That is until the banging started again and became hard enough to knock the picture of the Lord's Prayer off her wall.

"FUCK! JUST LIKE THAT!"

Mercedes kissed her picture and made the sign of the cross before she jumped out of her bed and stomped to her door. She left her apartment, stopped at the door to her left and used both of her fists to knock rigorously. She didn't have to knock long, the blonde haired, green-eyed asshole opened the door in seconds. Mercedes didn't even take the time to notice his sweaty, disheveled, half naked state. She looked him straight in the eyes and said, "It is 2 o'clock in the morning. I have to work in six hours. I am asking you not only as your friend, but also as your next door neighbor, to please shut the fuck up or at least go into another room."

Mercedes watched as Sam tapped his chin as if he was actually taking her plea into consideration. Sam tightly secured the sheet around his waist and crossed his arms. He gave her that lopsided smile that instantly drenched all the panties and replied, "Remember when you had that guy over and I asked you to not be as loud as you normally were because I had that important business meeting the next morning? Remember how you were so loud, my mirrors almost shattered?"

Mercedes crossed her arms also but didn't say anything. Sam leaned back into his apartment to look to the side. He leaned forward, inches from her face and said, "And it's 1:44."

"Sam I swear-"

"You'll pull through," he said before he slammed the door in her face.

Mercedes looked at the door in disbelief, oh he did not know who he was fucking with.

Mercedes took a deep breath and calmly walked back into her apartment. She put on one of her cubic zirconia rings and her moccasins, and made her way back to Sam's front door. She began to knock just as loud and hard as before.

As soon as Sam opened the door, Mercedes barged her way in and began yelling, "Where is she!"

Sam tried to keep up with her fast strides, but trying to keep his sheet on slowed his pace. Mercedes stalked into Sam's room and saw the fearful looking naked girl sitting in his bed. Sam caught up with Mercedes and grabbed her arm but Mercedes yanked it back and slapped him across the face.

She put her hands on her hips and yelled, "How dare you cheat on me?!"

Sam, still holding his cheek, looked at her like she was insane.

The girl wrapped herself with his other sheet and walked up to Sam, "Who is she?"

Mercedes turned her attention to the girl, "I am his fiancé!" she said, holding up her ring finger.

The girl gasped and looked at Sam, "Your what?!"

Sam gaped at Mercedes and yelled, "My what?!'

Mercedes crossed her arms and cocked her head at Sam, "What, did you get a case of amnesia all of the sudden? Did you forget we're supposed to be getting married in three days?"

Sam looked as if he wanted to strangle her. He turned his attention back to the girl and said, "Sarah, don't listen to her! We are not getting married!"

Mercedes took a seat on Sam's tousled bed and crossed her legs as she watched Sarah throw on her clothes angrily. She waited patiently as Sam chased Sarah out and pleaded for her to stay. Her eyebrow rose when she heard Sarah scream at Sam to go fuck himself or his fiancé.

Sam walked back into his room to see Mercedes inspecting her nails.

"You are such a bitch for that," he said as he ran his hand through his messy hair.

Mercedes mocked offense, "I asked you nicely and your actions were very un-neighborly. "

Sam shook his head at his best friend and looked down at his southern region. He smirked and looked at her, "Want to be a good neighbor and help me with this?"

Mercedes watched Sam as he removed his sheet to reveal his semi hard dick. He walked forward until Mercedes held out her foot to stop him.

"You really have no shame," she said laughing.

Sam grabbed her foot, held it upward, and began stroking her leg, "Don't act like you don't want this."

Mercedes fell back onto the bed and covered her face with her hands as she laughed harder.

Sam smiled at her and reached for his boxers. He sat next to her as she laughed and just listened to the dulcet tone of her laughter. Making her laugh was just as rewarding as hearing her laugh, he loved the way she was able to sound as if she was dying and still sound so euphonious. She had been able to do that since they were kids and over the years Sam made it his personal goal to consistently make her laugh.

Mercedes was finally able to control herself and wiped the tears from her eyes. She turned to Sam and gave him a pat on the chest.

"I needed that, thanks bff."

Sam took a hold of her small hand and whispered, "You know what I need?"

"If it starts with a 'p' or 'v' and ends with a 'y' or 'a' I can't help you."

Sam scoffed and teased, "Some friend you are."

"Hey if you would've listened to me and been more quiet, you wouldn't have this little problem."

Sam gave her a deprecating look and kissed his teeth, "Ok, first of all this is a big problem, not a little one, and second, I was only giving you a taste of your own medicine."

"Well it looks like you won't be tasting shit now. Where did you find Sasha anyway?"

"Sarah."

"Whatever."

Sam chuckled and said, "She works at the little café in my building. I should probably find a new place to get my coffee now though, no thanks to you."

"Now would be a great time to start drinking tea."

"There's a higher chance of me getting you face down ass up than of you getting me to drink tea."

Mercedes snorted and laid back down on his bed. They laid in a comfortable silence before Mercedes turned over to him and traced her finger on his chest.

"I know Blaine isn't your favorite person but are you going to his birthday thing at the cabin this weekend?" Mercedes asked.

Sam scratched his scruffy neck and shook his head, "Nah I'll pass."

"What!? But he invited you! He wants to make things right!" Mercedes exclaimed.

Sam shrugged and explained, "I'd rather be home alone this weekend than spend my weekend kissing the ass of the guy that basically called me a whore."

Mercedes put on her best pout, "Please?"

Sam turned his head away from her and covered his eyes so he couldn't see the pout that could make him do anything for her. Mercedes tried to remove his hands from his face and got on top of him to shake his hands away.

"Pleasepleasepleaseplease!" she begged.

She finally removed his hands and held them above his head. She didn't realize her tits were bursting out of her shirt, but Sam did and she would probably realize it when she felt something hard on her thigh.

He tried to not look at her admiring chest and said, "I'll go. If you give me a kiss."

Mercedes pursed her lips. "You'll for sure go and be civil if I kiss you?" she asked skeptically.

Sam easily overrode her grip on his right wrist and brought his hand to his heart. "I'm a man of my word."

Mercedes bit her lip and searched his face for any deception. This wasn't the first time he tricked her into kissing him. She hesitated before slowly gravitating towards him.

Sam didn't think she would actually agree to his bargain. Psyched, Sam met her halfway and brought his lips to hers. Somehow their chaste pecks progressed into a pornographic make out. Sam wrapped his right arm around her waist as Mercedes gripped his shoulders and pressed her tongue into his mouth. Sam moaned as he let her range over his mouth and seized her hair to bring her closer. Mercedes never let their innocent kisses get this far deep and knew she should stop before something more happened, but the heat from his mouth and his moaning was making her head spin and her sensible thoughts disappear. Reacting on her libidinous instincts, Mercedes began to grind her moist heat on his stiff member vigorously, moaning into his mouth from the sensation.

Sam thought Mercedes was trying to slowly kill him. He had to close his eyes to keep them from crossing and his grip in her hair tightened. A deep groan from the back of his throat emerged when her hands scaled up and down his torso. He couldn't take anymore of her merciless torture, he pulled her head back suddenly and panted into her neck, "Babe, you should leave before we do something we can't take back."

Breathing heavily, Mercedes removed Sam's hold from her hair and got off him ruefully and straightened herself up.

"So, does this mean, you um, you'll go?" she asked flustered.

Sam cleared his throat and hid his boner with his hand, "Yeah, it's a done deal."

Mercedes, horribly mortified, stumbled to the bedroom door. With a little wave she said, "Thanks. Oh and Goodnight!" before making a beeline to his front door.

When Sam heard the door close he fell onto his bed and rubbed his hand down his face and groaned.

"This is going to be a long weekend."

A/N: I think I will use this fic to practice writing smut...a little foreshadowing? *wink wink*