A/N:

So I finally updated. I had no idea it's been so long! Anyway... This is the fourth (or so) incarnation of this chapter. I think I'll have the next one out easier. I make no promises. My brain seems to absolutely hate staying on track. However, I'm trying to keep it up. Also... I should have a beta'd version of this chapter, once I remember who my beta is... I'm just feeling super guilty at the moment and putting this up without my beta looking it over... I know who my beta is for Jorogumo, but not A Rational Child... I'm feeling rather lame. If my beta reads this, please email me... I want your copy of my classes too if you're done with it? Because I've started completing it without your help... And I know you added classes on me, I know you did.

Get back to me... Yeah... Welp... On with the show!

Reviewers:

In general: Thanks so much! I'm always glad to have your support.

Text:

"abcde…" – general conversation

"abdce"-Speaking a foreign language (Italian, French, Spanish, etc with the exception of Parseltongue)

Abcde-Thoughts or Letters'

$abdce$- Parseltongue

Disclaimer: Why do I even need to do this!? Seriously! It isn't possible for me to own Harry Potter!

A Rational Child

Chapter 8: Punishments and Childish Idiocy

Harry gracefully lounged on one of the couches placed conveniently in the gardens behind his dorm house. Pausing in his reading, he noted one of the wild, brightly colored birds flying by, its song flitting through the trees and adding a gorgeous musical quality to the tranquil edge he was savoring. The backyard, to his surprise, was an oasis of cultivated wildness, full of wandering vines and lush canopies with secret little sitting areas and such, unlike the tamed and orderly peaceful gardens lining the front. Harry found that he easily could find himself lost back there, and with no little satisfaction, claimed a small gazebo like structure and fountain as his own hideaway from the insanity his roommates were currently involving themselves in. Smirking to himself, he happily ignored the faint noise of startled screaming and sirens blaring as they came through the carefully made silencing wards the gazebo had around it. It would seem his roommates were distinctly not enjoying his not-so-subtle payback.

.-.

To say Harry Potter could not dish out suitable revenge for not-imagined slights would be like saying Da Vinci or Michelangelo could not paint. To be quite frank, if he had permitted himself to suffer through Hogwarts the Sorting Hat would have had a difficult time deciding whether his intelligence or deviousness surpassed one another. Considering he was in no mood to deal with idiots and their trivialities, Severus' gift gave him the utmost pleasure and satisfaction to implement after a number of things were accomplished.

Within hours of receiving the oh-so-generous gift from Severus, Harry had notified the true people in charge of the Princes' lives.

Their parents.

In a friendly, but well-written introductory letter he politely introduced himself and then happily informed them of a special item he was implementing in the house, and when they learned what it was, they had immediately agreed that his inclusion of a Notary Clock in the household was an excellent idea.

The clock, while deceptive in appearance and looking like a regular old cuckoo clock, was like many enchanted items, special. The clock, after a little tinkering from Severus who used a similar one to keep his Slytherins in line, shouted at anyone who disobeyed or broke a certain set of rules or laws before promptly dishing out the punishment that met the infraction or infactions. The smirk on Harry's face at the included list of rules from both parents to program into the clock regarding their heirs and their heirs' servants had lead Harry to cackle for the first time in his life. With a little extra magic from his other plotters, Captain Bek and Steward Enna, he placed the clock tenderly on the wall with an over powered sticking charm and an age and blood line to prevent tampering or removal. The fact that the voice that shouted at the person for breaking any of the rules or laws was that of either Mage-King or their worst nightmare, usually their mothers, was just icing on the cake.

.-.

Enna's eyebrow went up as the clock started shouting again, this time at one of the princes (the servants had long learned to not antagonize the clock or Harry) and glanced out of his office to listen a bit closer to see who it was in trouble this time. Snorting in amusement, he realized it was both.

Unsurprisingly, Prince Althakas' indignant yells and Prince Nane's unhappy curses were intermixed with the sound of them choking on soap suds. Shaking his head, Enna withdrew to his office once more, and sat down with no less than a pleased grin twitching at the corners of his mouth as he penned his daily letter on the Prince's behavior and how much punishment his dignity had suffered through today. The Queen-Mage might have worried about her son developing bad habits away from her and her husband's ever present and watchful eye, but the Baron of Little Wells had definitely put a stop to that. And, with a grin growing into a devious smirk, he made sure to include how well-mannered the little British wizard was and he was such a good influence on the Prince.

Snickering a bit, Enna could not help but wonder if the Queen would request her own clock and install it in the ever mercurial prince's wing of the royal estate. Enna hoped she would.

.-.

Althakas growled as he spat out the residual taste of soap. It had been the third time today (and the fifteen this week to his everlasting displeasure), that the infernal clock had forced him to wash his mouth out. His mother would have forced him to do it, however he was in school now, almost a man! He should be allowed to speak how he wished! Glaring to the side and at the boy standing looking just as disgusted by the taste in his mouth, he knew he should be rewarded for putting the damn vulture in his place!

Sneering at the shorter but more muscular prince, he ignored the just as irritated sneer back and turned to stomp away before wincing as another warning chime from the clock rang out reminding him to walk properly. The quiet sound of a door opening and then shutting announced the arrival of the third member of the household, he did not count the servants, and he bit back the urge to snarl.

Glacial cold green eyes however, paid him little to no mind. Dressed in simple cream shorts, a light white, cotton, collared shirt, and his hair in its usual braid but pinned up partially in a coil, the boy sailed by him and the vulture, uncaring and dismissive. Twitching in irritation, Althakas' hand, without permission, flashed out and grabbed the smaller and shortest boy's wrist.

"Get rid of the clock, peasant," Althakas hissed, voicing his displeasure with him and his infernal foreign device again, "You will do as I say."

The already freezing cold gaze chilled further. "You have no authority over me," his housemate, Baron Potter as he only allowed himself to be addressed with the rare exceptions being Enna and Bek by those living with him, snipped back, "Remove your hand from me."

"Make me," Althakas snarled. He almost missed the satisfied smirk on the boy's face as he sweetly replied, "Gladly."

Then Althakas remembered the little Baron might not have any guards, but he instead had something much worse. He barely released the fellow male as the demonic time keeper began shouting. The Baron Potter turned and left him to his humiliation with a few carelessly tossed out words, "You are a prince? Here's a tip…" The eyes slashed back as he disappeared out the front door, "Act like it." The door shut with a click signaling his humiliation was little to nothing of worth or interest to the foreigner. The sting was even worse than being forced into time out at the near age of twelve. Althakas barely realized Nane had watched the whole encounter with thoughtful eyes.

.-.

Severus ignored Granger as she incessantly waved her hand to answer yet another question, cutting off another student's quiet response and even accidentally smacking Longbottom across the cheek in her enthusiasm. Pinching his nose in frustration, he finally barked, "Ms. Granger, I undoubtedly am assured of your intelligence, there is no need for you to continuously besiege myself and your classmates with your incessant hand raising. Furthermore, your exceedingly long and overdone essays are tiresome to grade! When I assign you three feet on a potion, I expect three feet! Do not turn in another essay that exceeds the requirements or the grade I assign you will be a troll!" The girl's hand limply fell and her eyes filled he felt his shoulders slump ever so much. Severus kept from groaning aloud barely.

"Come now, Ms. Granger," he stated, "There's no need to turn into a fountain, it is unseemly. I will discuss this more with you after class, stay behind. Dry your eyes and compose yourself. We will discuss this in further detail after class." He pinched the bridge of his nose wearily and wished for a second that he could speak with Harry. The boy's factual and logical demeanor would no doubt have been a help dealing with the overly emotional, yet rule-abiding bookworm. The chit was unbearable in more than one way and having Harry here would have been a great help dealing with the girl. He clearly saw why she was not in Ravenclaw, her bloody stubbornness to be right paired up with her determination to be the best would have never suited the house dedicated to knowledge for its own sake.

The bell rang shortly after and the rest of the class escaped as quickly as possible, Snape having been in an admittedly foul mood after his snapping at Granger. He gestured at her impatiently to move into his office with a snap of his fingers and a long point.

The Gryffindor first year hiccupped but dutifully followed his directions shuffling into the room and standing, still quietly crying, in front of the desk.

Severus heaved out another sigh.

"Please be seated, Ms. Granger," Severus said and she slumped into a seat, clearly emotionally distraught. He would have never imagined having to council a student on not being overly studious, but he saw something of himself in the girl and her continued behavior would no doubt blacklist her from her classmates if she continued.

"Now, Ms. Granger," Severus said with surprising softness, "I need you to calm down for me. I'm sorry for being so abrupt with you earlier, however, your demeanor in class is detrimental not only to yourself but to others." She pulled out a handkerchief and nodded into it while rallying.

"Can you explain why professor?" the girl asked shyly, her eyes puffy and red behind her held back tears.

Severus sighed.

"Ms. Granger, when you are the only one answering questions it is not possible for me, or any other teachers, to check how far other students are progressing. Letting different students answer a question assures the professor that the students in the class are progressing at an equal pace, and that no one is falling too far behind. Even though it is inevitable that some will take to this or any subject easier or harder as due to their nature, as your instructor I cannot show favoritism by repeatedly calling on one single student. You should undoubtedly be praised for your diligence and enthusiasm, but you are making it difficult for yourself to interact with your classmates and creating quite a bit of resentment. As it is, it seems as though you and your other Gryffindors are not getting on that well."

Her eyes filled once more and fat drops of tears dripped down her cheeks. With a soft sniff she nodded timidly.

"Are you having a hard time making friends? Is that why you're so determined to do well in school?" Severus asked. She sniffled but nodded again.

"They… None of the girls really like me or have the same interests, and the boys, except for Neville, are much more rowdy than I am so it's hard to talk to them." She answered. "The others students in the other houses are not really interested in dealing with me. They aren't really interested in studying, or books, or anything else I like to do really…"

Severus sighed, but saw the points she made. Indeed it was like looking back twenty years and seeing his eleven year old self except in a slightly better off and more well-spoken girl.

"Alright," he said, he conjured a soft cloth and soaked it with a soft spray of water via an Aguamenti spell before offering it to her in an awkward shove. "I can see your last week or so has been difficult, and me raising my voice has not assisted in it. Being away from home for the first time undoubtedly does not help in any way." The girl trembled as she accepted the cloth, cooling and cleaning her face.

"I believe you to be a very mature young lady, you're twelve correct?" He asked and she nodded shyly. "Try speaking with the second and third year girls in your house, and if that doesn't work out I might have a few introductions I can assist you with making, one of them being a pen pal of a sort. While my own house has had several difficulties, I believe the new Hogwarts will allow for you to learn to your very best. I advise you to raise your hand once or twice per class at most, and to tone down how much you put into your homework. I expect my students to have an understanding of the craft not research it into the ground." She giggled softly.

"Off you go, it's lunch. I'll bring this up with your head of house. Minerva McGonagall was much like you when she was a student if my memory serves me right on some of the…" he sneered and she giggled louder, "gossip. Either way, don't give up just yet. There's several more months until break. Write a letter home and send it with a school owl to the post office. I believe that'll help as well." She smiled and made a soft goodbye before scampering off.

Sighing in exasperation he lifted a book out from under a stack of papers and scowled at it. It had been a gag gift from Harry after their second school trip, but it was turning out to be remarkably helpful. Cracking the book open to his last stopping point, he continued reading Students are Idiots, Just Remember There Are Smart and Cruel Ones Too! with a faint sneer.

Children and those pesky hormones they went through. He did not envy them their youth.

.-.

Harry studied the school list of activities, extracurricular clubs, and the electives in the next few years. While Dueling had interested him, along with Fencing, he saw they were both elective classes once he started his third year and were less frivolous than the clubs were rumored to be. There were a fascinating selection of classes featuring history and theory, no doubt due to the schools founding, as well as several political courses. International Relations and Economics looked to be just what he preferred.

However, that didn't answer the problem of just what club was he going to join?

Harry sighed and gave up on the academic clubs for the moment, deciding to try and cull out the athletic ones he would no doubt try to avoid until the last minute. He opened up the folder with the list of flyers and syllabus containing all of the athletically coordinated activities at the school and started dismissing certain ones.

He was not entirely fond of animals, though he did enjoy going to the Natural Museums when he had the chance, so he scratched out the equestrian clubs, there was land and air peculiar enough, along with the magical creatures clubs that involved handling unspecified animals. No thank you. He also crossed out the fishing club, as well as falconry, though he did add the date of some of shows the bird-lovers put on to his calendars. He'd nearly gotten an owl, before considering whether or not he'd enjoy such a creature in his constant proximity and decided to wait on a making a decision.

He then slashed through all the sport activities like football and rugby. He did not find it appealing to go running around with a mass of other random people chasing after some ball of a sort. His cousin Dudley had tried to force him into it enough with Harry serving as the ball, the crass form of bullying he'd ever had to suffer from in his earlier adolescence; heavens forbid he'd be involved in some sort of friendly game of tag or Red Rover. It had been so awful that he'd grown to hate any form of physical exercise that involved slamming into another person while sweating. He enjoyed a good workout during a solo jog or run, as the marathons at his earlier school showed, but he simply was not one for sports teams. He made notes of a few cricket games, the team was reputed to be one of the best in the area and he could sit through a few without becoming bored. It wouldn't do to stay cooped up indoors during the entire time at school.

The martial arts were ignored. Similarly to his distaste of team sports, dear Duddykins had killed any interest in them. He would never voluntarily be another person's punching bag again, even if he got to hit back.

He hesitated over fencing, dueling, and archery before putting an asterisk them. While they were interesting clubs they were also classes. If he developed a great yearning to take up the bow, foil or wand in some sort of physical conflict, he would do so in a class or perhaps join the club at a later date.

He dismissed swimming and boating, he did not know how to swim, although he made a note to sign up for the Friday lessons to learn and moved on past the other aquatic options.

His gaze narrowed on a rather absently added on last choices. The numbers were smaller than other clubs, thank heavens (a few had numbered in the hundreds), and seemed to be more obscure. One, he was surprised to see, was a marksmanship club. Amazingly it had strong ties to the Experimental Charms and Spell Development club and he flipped to the flyer featuring it.

Apparently, guns and such armaments were rare in the Wizarding world, the whole society being incredibly backwards in several areas. However, several groups of magical groups had taken notice of the advancement over the centuries and dignified that it would be a worthwhile endeavor to understand, operate, and even create weaponry based off of guns. He read about the innovations and progress they had had and made a note with two stars to check it out.

He tucked the pamphlet away and went to afternoon class. He'd write to Severus again this evening, along with his agreement to be pen pals with one of those poor Hogwarts students, as requested by Severus not too long ago. How dreadfully boring it must be not to have someone intellectually stimulating enough to discuss various academic topics with? Perhaps he would even include an anecdote about the most recent run in his housemates had fumbled into with the Notary Clock? He could use humor to make up for that horrendous headache Severus got from those 'dunderheads.'

Harry could not help but be glad to have gone to MAGIC instead.

.-.

Severus felt no little satisfaction as he read yet another letter from Harry detailing his time at MAGIC, the first month seeming to have segued into a reasonable rhythm, even if he was painstakingly making his way through club choices still, and his agreement to be offered up as a pen pal. The clock, the Potion Master was pleased to note, was serving Harry well, even if it was different than his in a few significant ways.

While both clocks dealt with rule-breaking, his clock recorded any infractions, letting him keep track of anything his students did, and no matter how well they tried to hide it or pin it off on someone else, it always recorded everything correctly. It was in this manner that he kept track of his little snakes, and what lead him to scowling and hurrying up the stairs.

For example, the clock was just now going off, causing Severus' eyebrow to arch in irritated surprise and study the read out in annoyance. A student out of bed at this hour, and one so young, meant only mischief. Severus groaned and got up to hunt down his wayward first years. It would not do for them to get into trouble since they still hadn't removed that blasted stone and its protections from the school. The screams of terrified children, young and high pitched, notified him to their location and he practically flew to the third floor, seeing the children tumble out of a familiar and dangerous doorway his heart shuddered in his chest.

He snarled before throwing himself in front of them and slamming the door shut. A series of sharp slashes of his wand locked, barricaded and protected the room from any more attempts to enter on this night. He then rounded on the still terrified, if now at a different looming figure, first years.

Unsurprisingly, they were a mix of Gryffindor and Slytherin students. It was unusual that one of them was Granger however. The girl did look exceedingly put out. A faint shimmer of magic surrounded most of the students, though the two main troublemakers were a sickly green and he narrowed his eyes at them. That glimmer was an almost missed indication of forced vow in action, thus leaving Severus furious, curious and irritated over it. However, he did not allow them to hear it in his voice.

"What," he asked silkily, "Pray tell you…Were you doing in the forbidden corridor?" The six students exchanged a series of looks. "Were you perhaps breaking the rules and sneaking out after hours to investigate something that is none of your concern..?" He drawled next.

"N-No, P-professor Snape," Draco choked out. Zabini standing next to him huffed out a tired breath and glared at the blonde boy.

"No Professor, this idiot," Zabini snapped, grabbing Draco by the shoulder and shoving him forward impatiently, the blonde stumbled to the front, Mr. Weasley joining him with a not so nice shove made by Granger and a male year mate of Gryffindor, his blond hair marked him as Seamus Finnegan, "Decided declaring an honor duel between the House of Malfoy and the House of Weasley was necessary over Longbottom. I, Granger and the other unfortunate souls got dragged into it as seconds and witnesses." The group of seven first years nodded, although the two would-be duelers were a bit reluctant. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose as a headache formed behind his eyes. "Messrs.' Weasley, Finnegan, Longbottom, and Nott, as well as Ms. Granger, is this true?" Severus asked calmly.

"Y-yes, Professor," Longbottom stuttered out, "Ron wanted to get back at Malfoy for stealing my remembrall and hiding it in a tree in the Forbidden Forest after I had that flying accident. I told him he didn't have to but Ron said he had to stick up for a fellow Gryffindor and fighting Slytherins is what Gryffindors do. I didn't agree, but before I could stop it, he was dragging us all into it."

"What about Messrs. Crabbe and Goyle, they're Mr. Malfoy's usually companions," Severus asked wearily.

"They were already at dinner when Malfoy bumped into us and decided to gloat, Professor," Finnegan chimed in. "Malfoy bragged about stealing Nev's stuff and then called Neville a worthless, blood traitor of a squib!"

"It's not my fault he's completely worthless and shouldn't be at Hogwarts," Draco said hotly.

"Silence, Mr. Malfoy," Severus said sternly, wondering why none of these children had any bit of maturity in them, the exceptions seeming to be Zabini and Nott who both looked unhappy with being forced into this, as well as Granger, who looked more worried about the loss of points and was in near tears due to frustration and self-disgust. He really needed to pass on Harry's name to her. She could definitely use a sane pen pal. Merlin only knows how he would have survived Dumbledore's antics without Minerva for the past several years, or this year without Harry's assistance. "How did you and Mr. Zabini get sucked into this, Mr. Nott?" Severus asked.

"Malfoy declared I was his second, since Blaise and I were conveniently walking behind him to dinner. I was about to decline but he swore on his magic and Weasley accepted. Everyone near them got bound by it to serve as witnesses. Longbottom and Granger didn't want anything to do with it and Finnegan didn't seem to be all that interested either, but Weasley and Malfoy both forced us into it. Even the time and place went into the stupid vow, midnight in the trophy room and no one was to speak of it." Nott bit out angrily.

"We would have told a professor otherwise," Granger stated unhappily, "This will get us in so much trouble."

"Not as much trouble as Mr. Weasley or Mr. Malfoy, though I do wish to understand how a badly worded vow over a duel ended with you entering the third corridor." He reminded them.

"That was a bit of an accident, actually," Weasley confessed, "We had the duel,"

"More like a pissing contest," Zabini muttered, "You two idiots couldn't even throw a spell, you complete and utter morons." Severus was willing to agree with such sentiments and knew his headache was soon going to develop into a migraine. He was not looking forward to informing Minerva of this. The woman was already stressed enough with running Hogwarts officially, as if she hadn't done so for years with the former Headmaster a complete and bumbling imbecile though a surprising manipulator. It was probably the fault of the governors who were pressuring her.

Weasley continued on however, unaware of these sentiments, "And after we were done, it was a tie,"

"I won, you blood traitor," Draco hissed,

"Did not," Weasley shot back.

"Did too," Draco replied, voice rising in decibels.

"Did not!" Weasley turned to the blond scion and got up in his family's long standing feud partner's face. His face was darkening into a red tomato-like color, looking indignant and nearly shouting.

"Did too!" the Malfoy heir started to yell. His face lost its nervous edge, seemingly forgetting Severus was there. Both duelers' unfortunate companions edged back away from them. Smart of them.

"Mr. Weasley, Mr. Malfoy!" Severus barked, the two first years immediately quieted and apologized. "Continue, Mr. Longbottom," Severus said, not wanting to bother with Weasley's rambling anymore.

The blond boy swallowed but nodded. "After the duel we heard Mr. Filch talking to Mrs. Norris and ran away so we wouldn't get caught, but the stairs… They moved without any warning and we ended up trapped by that locked door. We didn't realize where we were and Hermione used a quick unlocking spell to get us in so we could avoid being caught only…"

"There was a massive Cerberus waiting for us on the other side," Nott stated. "Bloody dog was fit to attack before we escaped and you found us.

Severus heaved a silent sigh. "I see," he drawled once more, removing his hand from his face and allowing it to drag down in a visible show of exasperation and impatience. "Alright then," he stated, "For being complete and utter imbeciles, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Weasley, you will both be serving two weeks of detention with Mr. Filch and will cost each of your house thirty points each. On top of that, Mr. Malfoy, you will lose five points for each student you dragged into this mess, meaning another twenty-five points and two weeks of detention with me." Draco winced. "You will also reimburse Mr. Longbottom his stolen and misplaced remembrall, either by buying him another, the proper amount of money so he can replace it himself, or something of equal value. Furthermore I will be writing to both of your parents and informing Headmistress McGonagall about this." Severus glared at the sputtering and pale faced boys.

His gaze turned to the rest of the students, "For the rest of you, one night's detention for being out of bed, and five points will be deducted from each of you for participating in such idiocy as entering a locked room when you know there are areas you are not allowed to enter without permission." The students nodded. "I will escort you back to your common rooms now," he said firmly, "Hopefully everything will be better in the morning." Hustling the first years away, Severus made a mental note to write Harry, the other wizard would probably have something scathingly funny in response to this latest idiocy.

Really, he thought despairingly, what idiot accidentally makes a vow over a school boy rivalry?!

A/N: R&R