Still, Always, and Forever, a gallagher girls fanfic

Zach's point of view of when Cammie went missing. How he felt, before, after, and later.

Still, Always, and Forever

I was in love. I was completely and utterly in love. And I fell more in love every day, as the pit I'd carved myself into got deeper and deeper. She filled me up, the only sunshine in my dark, and I knew I couldn't live without her.

One day she leaves, and finally, I just snap. The insanity conquers me, leaving me lost and confused. Reduced and exhausted. Nothing was left for me anymore. The world, to me, was now nothing. Because she was my world. And she left.

The trip to Budapest initiated a quick friendship with Bex. I know what you're thinking. It wasn't like that, merely friend-based. But there was a reason that we bonded, connected, related so easily. Cammie. Her absence was like a huge, inescapable wall. It was one of those obstacles in life that you couldn't do anything about. You could only watch it unfold, and wait for time to pass it by. I hated that wall with my life. I hated knowing that I should have been doing something, anything to find her, but knowing deep inside it was all pointless. Because she was a Gallagher Girl. My Gallagher Girl. And she was gone.

When we did find her, I was relieved. Reassured. Thankful. Yet, the love I once felt for her was gone. Not completely, perhaps, since I could still feel it there, throbbing in my chest. But it was being overlapped by a more powerful emotion. Anger. The anger was powerful. It coursed through my veins, until I was left empty and devoid of any other emotion. Why did I feel such anger at her? Why was I just so mad at her? There were many answers, but one stood out clearly. For the first time in her entire period of absence, I could let myself feel something besides the hysteria and worry that had been eating at me for so long. I could feel angry. Angry at her for endangering herself. Angry at the circle for torturing her. Angry at the world for not letting me be happy. But most of all, angry at myself. For me not being able to stop her. For her not being able to trust me enough. For me not being able to get to her before she lost not only her memory, but innocence as well. And, honestly, angry was good. Angry was easy. Angry was everything that could hide the pain, the suffering, the horror, that I went through. Angry was my savior. Because if I wasn't angry, there was no telling what I'd be.

The thing is, you can't stay angry forever. Even when you try hard to, even when you believe with all your heart you won't forgive them. If you're truly in love, you'll forgive. And I know that someday, I'll forgive her. I'll live through this, because I'm still going to be strong for her. Because after all of this, I'm still going to care for her. I'm still going to be in love with her. Why? Because she's still going to be the light to my dark. She's still going to be the one I can't live without. She's still going to be my life. Do you remember that pit that I carved? The one I mentioned at the beginning? Well, it will still be there. Growing deeper and deeper every day. Continuing to fill me up and make me whole once again. And even though we're having problems, even though there's a bridge between us that was never there before, I know we'll make it out okay. Because I'm still in love. I'm still in love and I'm always going to be in love, forever. Still and Always. Forever.

Hey guys! I really hope you like this story! I'm pretty proud of it, even though I wrote it at 12 in the morning when I couldn't sleep ;). I'd really like the feedback, and just about anything that could help me improve my writing! Reviews are definitely appreciated, but I like to think myself above those who beg for them ;P. And finally, thanks to all the Zammie readers out there! Hope you like it!