Of the entire group in Walking Dead, it seems that there is one,
Who never seems to know the way to get simple things done.
For zombies smarter than her lumber through the woods and fields,
While Lori with her mousey hair, no useful weapon wields.
...
For reasons unknown to the fans, Rick still refrains from murder;
Although at the first chance we'd get, we'd really love to shoot her.
Two eps in, already, we can see her every failing,
Oh how we'd love to see the day she's bit (intestines trailing).
...
One day she yells at Shane, tells him not to go near her son,
(Ignores the fact the little turd has stolen Daryl's gun).
Five minutes on, when Shane's too busy to put time aside for Carl,
She forgets what in (line 1) she said, and starts to snap and snarl.
...
When Rick goes out and any hold-up could have made him late,
Instead she makes us pour out torrents of regret and hate.
For the stupid thing just steals a car and out she goes to search,
We take great pleasure in the crash's every flip and lurch.
...
Yet out she comes, not even scratched, to find herself a walker.
She has no skill, despite her words, she is only a talker.
Although to our annoyance the unruly thing was found,
We find with lingering hope that zombies almost knocked her to the ground.
...
No wonder her young son is such an arrogant young brat,
With not one ounce of brain or simple etiquette at that.
Instead, to our immense outrage, he gets poor old Dale killed!
And o'er the brink tolerance goes, for it was already filled.
...
With great distress we find that she is trying to kill her baby,
About whom, may I just point out, the father is a "maybe".
As if this isn't bad enough, does she even tell Rick?
Oh no, she simply ploughs right on, the slow dim-witted stick.
...
She shouts and angsts but stop and think - what on earth does she do?
Besides cause trouble, conflict, death - is she that useless too?
Indeed, despite her many fails, her stupid acts, her child,
She is of no use - you may be sure, this does get all fans riled.
...
Carol? She may not shoot a gun, but at least she does help out.
Her child did know some discipline, I've never heard her shout;
But Lori is a simple fail, an utter useless pest.
She better get killed off this season - oh, that would be just the best!
...
And here I end my rant although I could go on forever,
In simple words I know to say: there is no hope left for her.
Oh, not her life, because we know (grr) that it will be preserved,
But because the violent death avoided is very well-deserved.
A/N: Please note that no offence is intended by this poem. Like many fans I just find Lori a tad irritating. All in good fun :)
Thank you and reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.