So sorry I took so long guys. Finding a new place, school, work and life in its pure and chaotic form has kept me busy.

But here's a nice treat for ya. The shower scene was harder to write than I first thought it was going to be so I hope it came out well.

Let me know if it did.

Enjoy!

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..

...

So no Starbucks. Figures.

The coffee was crap but the record shop next to the hole in the wall cafe place was worth the nasty bitter aftertaste. I spent longer than a half hour in there but since I didn't have much in the way of money on me 'sides 53 cents left after my craptastic cup of liquid dirt I sadly had to leave empty handed.

It was a sad day indeed.

It was a real bummer too. I had found a sweet vinyl record in impressive condition. David Bowie. My mother's fantasy husband. I remembered the record immediately. Unfortunately mom sold a bunch of the vinyls she had years ago to pay for the sizable legal fees. Apparently, divorce isn't cheap. Life lesson right there.

I snorted roughly and shook my head.

Apparently I was on a roll today. I never knew that Memory Lane was on a steep incline but here I am, tumbling down like a nostalgic rag doll, bumping into one bad memory after another. Oh the pain.

Ugh. I miss my mom. And fuck you sideways if you think that makes me sound pathetic. I miss my crazy ass mother and I could slap myself for accepting the scholarship to come here and leave her alone. I'm such a jackass.

Ironically, coming here was infinitely cheaper than going to college at home. I had everything paid for except my plane ticket and even that I begged my mother to let me pay for out of my own pocket. Mom had other things to deal with. With me gone maybe she could save some money. Paying for anything extra like a plane ticket or new clothes would just defeat the purpose of me leaving.

It was backwards but this was my way of taking care of my mother. It was my turn after all. And if it turns out I get a shiny degree or two from being here, then all the better. The divorce stretched my mother like taffy. But she never let me feel the tug.

Even when I know that I had a few things that could have brought in a good chunk of change she never touched my room. Not once. Even while over time things started disappearing, getting sold. An end table here, a few old school VHS tapes there. It wasn't too noticeable at first. Until mom began looking so haggard and older than she really was. Mom was always so bright, so alive, so full of warmth. Until she wasn't. It was scary. I was scared of what she wasn't telling me. Were we in trouble? Was the divorce really draining us that much? How much did we have to pay? Did I want to know?

Yes...no.

Yes. I was so scared, so frickin terrified I wanted to cry because I honestly didn't, I wanted to keep feeling safe and unburdened. But my mother didn't have that luxury. So I asked myself, "why should I?"

When it did start becoming noticeable, I did cry. In my room. When I knew mom was finally asleep so she wouldn't hear me. I was brave Beca. Unshakeable Beca. Tough as nails, and sarcastic smart ass Beca. I wasn't cry myself to sleep Beca. No.

When I did start to notice, obvious things had disappeared. The TV in the living room. The hundreds of books that lined the cherry oak bookshelves in what used to be my Dad's study. All the books were mom's but it went with the 'supremely educated' theme my Dad was shooting for. Pockets of space, dotted the shelves. Mom's favorites, which coincidently were also antiques went missing. Gone. I don't think it was so much the absence of material things as it was that slowly, but surely it was touching my mother. Not just her marriage, but her joy, her keepsakes. It was draining the usual rosy color from her cheeks, the happy glow. The whole ordeal was sucking her dry. She was having to make sacrifices because of my Dad's mistakes. Or at least its him I'm blaming for this. He wasn't here to bare the fallout of his marriage. Not the way I was having to witness. It's his fault I-

I shake my self out of that dark thought, rolling my neck until the joint popped.

Ugh. Being here on the same campus as my father is making me all internally reflective. Ick. Pass.

I felt a coolness trail down my cheek and scoffed throatily as I carefully wiped the evidence of my dramatic internal bullshit.

Jesus fucking- gah! Get ahold of yourself, man.

It's been over an hour now. That seems like a good chunk of my life wasted. Hopefully it wasn't for nothing.

I rolled my eyes at myself. Then again, hope is for losers. Better not hold my breath. However, despite my cynicism and to my utter relief, my old man was nowhere to be found. Not that I went looking.

My new roommate looked up when I let myself in with my key. An obvious scowl on her face that I know has no reason for being there.

"Hey," I say politely. I'm not attempting conversation. I'm not deluded enough to think she'd actually give a shit about responding or even look at me without scowling like I sheared her bonsai tree. But there's nothing wrong with being polite. My mother trained me well, after all.

I walk over to the vacant desk that happens to be on my side of the room and dump my loose change on it and unload what little I had in my pockets. I look over my shoulder to see that my roommate is otherwise occupied with raking the pale sand in her little midget tree lawn. I reach into my shirt and locate my Swiss Army knife that I had stashed in my bra. I know, not the most convenient place if I actually needed to use it, especially in public but I had pulled it out of my suitcase in the cab and just shoved it in there when we got to my destination and I realized I needed to get the fuck out since the meter was running.

I throw the folded hunk of metal in a drawer and slid it shut. I stretch languidly before moving all my junk off my bare mattress. Note to self: purchase sheets or sleep on a towel until your mother manages to mail the rest of your crap. I look at my phone to check what time it was. I totally didn't think to bring any sheets. Ugh. I have no clue where anything was. I guess I could google where the nearest Walmart was but it would probably be late by the time I got back, well, dark-ish. I don't do dark-ish. Bad enough things happen in the day time, especially when you don't know your way around. A sigh leaves me as I rake my fingers through my hair before remembering I had most of it up. I roll my eyes at myself and walk over to the sad looking naked mattress.

Ooh look. Stains.

Yay.

I turn my gaze over and watch as Kimmie Jin checks her ringing phone and snorts a laugh at the message. I almost smile but refrain. Kimmie Jin snaps her head up and glares at me, as if I was intruding on something private and stood and left the room.

I watched the door close, mildly amused despite.

Well then.

I'm not sure how Kimmie Jin and I are going to work out with us living in a closed space for an extended period of time. She almost acts like she's allergic to me. Which is all kinds of offensive. But I wonder... so if I sneeze will she break out in hives or just go about disinfecting everything? Probably both.

I snort softly as I plopped my butt on the bare mattress. Stains be damned.

Leave it to me to get the racist roommate.

I rolled my eyes.

Thankfully little miss glares a lot took the tension with her.

My eyes scan the room in search of my other suitcase. Finally finding it leaning awkwardly against the wall between my desk and dresser, I deduce that I didn't put it there and then remember I had left it at the other side of the room.

I look blankly at the suitcase for a moment before glancing at the almost OCD organization of my roommate's desk.

I grunt and sigh loudly. So much for hospitality. Noooo it's just so fucking hard picking up something that you feel needs to be somewhere else and carefully placing it in its supposed intended location. Oh God no. Much too difficult. Lets just throw the innocent motherfucker and put a dent in Beca's wall, what a perfect idea! Genuis!

Kill them with kindness, my mother always said. Being polite trumps all respite, she'd say. (That one never made sense to me) Never stick your tongue out in public, she'd nag.

Blah blah blah. Well, ya know what? I'm- 'Remember a frown always brings others down, Beca.'

Gah! Fine! I'll be nice.

"Stupid ingrained habits." I grumbled curses as I toed off my sneakers. I had trouble getting a grip on my other shoe with my socked foot and finally managed to loosen it. With a few jerky kicks it went sailing across the room and smacked my desk, knocking my wallet and keys on the floor.

I looked over, debating whether I should actually bother to go over and pick it all up.

...

Meh.

Yeah okay. So I wasn't the neatest person in the world but I wasn't a total slob either. But threat of possible death kept my side of the room somewhat tidy. I wasn't afraid of my roommate

I wasn't afraid of anything. Not even a little...

Intimidated, maybe. But not scared. And the fact that I left immediately after she came back from the bathroom to go take my shower is completely coincidental.

Okay fine! So maybe I was a little terrified that she would sneak into the night and stab me with her chopsticks. But I mean come on! Those bitches be fierce...and sharp looking.

How do I know? She kept waving them around as she straightened up her room. For no reason. But the stabbing motions she made when she saw me looking in her direction were more than a little implicit.

You know what else you do when you find yourself growing increasingly uneasy about your roommate?

You shove your beloved headphones on your head and drown the crazy by splicing up your music library.

I went about syncing my iPod to my library and adding the stuff I had tinkered with so far today. Not enough to call it finished and to stop obsessing over how to make them better but still something new to work on. I smiled and created a new playlist to add those into.

Titanium was definitely a reoccurring theme I noticed. I don't know what it was but I couldn't get that song out of my head. Ever since ...I guess the fair, it's been trapped there. I didn't have any real cure to get rid of a catchy song other than mixing the crap out of it.

So I guess Titanium is now stuck firmly in my skull. Meh. To be honest, I liked it that way. It helped me work the lyrics out in my head. Sometimes I would fixate on a song for days and build the mash up just up in there. Sometimes several until I found a sweet arrangement to commit to.

Sometimes I did several variations for the hell of it.

After an hour of that and tweaking the bass notes on a few other songs I thought desperately needed a little more love than was given, I grunted and leaned back in my chair. My hands rubbing over my face as I closed my eyes.

I slumped my head back so everything behind me was upside down and looked at my roommate's immaculately put together dorm room. Damn.

And I have like two suitcases and a box. I shrug, which basically meant I was bumping my shoulders into my head, and then righted myself.

I really didn't feel like unpacking. Actually it was the furthest thing from my mind. It was like, somehow I had gotten it into my "head that the more music I made/mixed/and mashed the crap out of, the sooner I could be starting my life in LA. If I had something to promise my way there. If I worked hard enough, maybe-

AH- Wow. Ok. Cramp. CrAHmp in my neck. Ugh. God. Yeah I think that's enough introspACKction for one day. Or a month. Geez.

Okay I think I deserve a shower after this craptastic day. I grunt and stretched as I stood. I had roamed the campus a bit while I was out a few hours ago. I think I can remember the way to the showers I saw.

I rifled through my suitcase in search of my toiletries and the shower caddy my mother insisted I bring with me. Something about diseases and aggressive bottom eating bacteria. I begged her to stop rambling once her face went a bit purple. She can get a bit worked up sometimes.

I changed quickly into my robe, also a product of my mother's urgings. It was hers actually. My trusty Swiss Army Knife was tucked securely in my robe pocket. It's not too far from my dorm room. I won't even have to use the stairs.

The trip left me with a great opportunity for my mind to wander. And wander it did. Well, actually it didn't go that far. It got bored thinking of my stellar, not to mention oh so warm and fuzzy reunion with my dear old Pops and then mercifully veered sharply onto another topic. Music. As always. Suddenly I'm humming random melodies as I went on my merry way. Eventually, my search turned up successful and I grinned, relieved that the showers were mostly deserted.

A song was on the tip of my tongue and I didn't really bother holding it back.

The words flowed from my lips without real thought. I was about to take a shower, the curtain was going to be drawn which gave the illusion of total solitary, and no one was in here that I had noticed. I could sing and mumble my way through the riffs however I friggin wanted. Late night showers were definitely not a bad thing.

I found a stall quickly enough and shrugged off my robe.

Thankfully there was no mold infestation, and the shower floor looked clean enough as my wiggling toes inspected this for themselves.

My mother can be rest assured that my bottom was in no danger from any flesh eating bacteria. When you think of it like that, even I find myself relieved. Insane paranoia or not, phew.

I did what normal people do when stepping into a shower; ya know, close the curtain, turn the knob. Adjust the temperature to a reasonable, or in my case, scalding, practically flesh melting degree.

But of course, normal never was my thing.

Whoosh!

"So you can sing!"

I think my heart shot up and hit the back of my teeth I was so freaked.

"DUDE!"

I managed to not slip and break my ass on the wet tile as I spun around and snatched the curtain, sheilding my lady bits from intrusive eyes. Beautiful blue, inappropriately excited eyes...

The sight of a ...very, I mean very...naked chick standing... well, naked in my shower stall had me sucking in sharply, causing me to almost choke on the water falling from over head.

"How high does your belt go?"

"My what?"

My what go? Is she hitting on me? Wait- what?!

A tan arm reached forth and shut off the water, forcing the body it was attached to, to come within inches of my body. Not okay!

"Oh my God!" What is happening right now?

I can't for the life of me understand what's happening. And seriously, she could poke an eye out with one of those things! And whether or not that eye was in the wrong for staring so hard at said ...area ... I still say it's her fault. Somehow.

Maybe she flashed those people too - I don't friggin' know! But jeez she's practically rendered me a babbling idiot so I have to blame her for something! And oh my freakin God why is she moving closer?! Get those things away from me?!

I try and smoosh myself even closer to the wall but it seems impossible when the wall is practically laughing at my situation and seems no closer to swallowing me than the last time I tried it.

This is insane.

Man, I just wanted to take a shower. Maybe there is something to those rape whistles after all. But seriously. In the shower?! By another girl?! And a pretty girl at that?!

Why am I complaining again? Wait - why am I not complaining?! Oh my - stop blushing you idiot!

"You...Bella's." I can't for the life of me understand anything at the moment. And I shouldn't have to!

"I can't concentrate on anything until you cover your junk." I squeak, as I fumbled with the wimpy body sponge. Attempting, and yes, failing miserably, to cover my own modesty.

I can't bother to listen to her as I flail awkwardly to grasp the shower curtain while still generally failing at life and stupidly believing that this situation can't possibly get any more bizarre or humiliating.

"Oops." She chuckles at my stumbling and it feels like my ears are melting I'm blushing so badly.

I squooshed my front against the cold tile, wincing slightly at the uncomfortable contrast against my naked chest.

"Seriously ...I am nude." There's no way she can't notice, but stating the obvious never hurt when all bets are off. I looked over my shoulder at her, and then heaven wards once my eyes seemed to zero in on naked and very female places once again. And still given all that I considered harsh denial was so much more fun than admitting that those blue eyes, the ones I still couldn't erase from my brain, were glued to my ass.

Maybe she's just admiring the song lyrics on my hip? Yeah. I mean, I do have a lot of permanent art work on my body. Why not?

Denial is such an amazing thing.

She's practically violated my space bubble by slapping the crap out of it and poking it until she popped it's ethereal cherry into oblivion. I should - I should be fucking livid...

Except I can't seem to keep my mouth closed.

So screw being...

Okay wrong choice of wording

Okay ya know what - I can't think under these conditions!

I force myself not to look down but... God damn is it hard!

Don't you dare Rebeca!

No!

I snap my eyes up as quickly as I can before I got anywhere past her belly button and shoot them up to the ceiling. If only it was in the literal sense.

Oh mah gawd. "Can you please cover your junk?" I choke out, it sounds like I'm about to cry. What the hell is happening?

"You were Titanium right?"

"You know David Guetta?"

"Have I been living under a rock? Of course I know David Guetta. That song is my jam."

I nod absently...

"My lady jam." She emphasizes. "Song really builds.", winking cheekily.

My face erupted. "Gross." I could feel a hot blush bloom across my cheeks and down my neck.

Of course it had to be that song. Of course! Why not?

"Can you sing it for me?"

"Dude no! Get out!"

She waves my alarm off. "Not for that reason. I'm not leaving till you sing."

Is this girl for real?

Is this situation even happening for that matter? This can't be reality. Shit like this doesn't happen to me!

Slowly, juggling my last remaining wash cloth and my boobs in my arms, still fight my last remaining illusion of modesty, my eyes shot upward again, firmly. They weren't roaming anywhere on my watch. Um... err...well you get my meaning.

I can't believe I'm doing this...

"I'm bulletproof. Nothing to lose..."

"Fire away. Fire away."

"Ricochet. You take your aim. Fire away...fire away." And I'm blown...

Her voice should never be anything but alive and thriving on surround sound speakers. Silence is the cruelest suggestion.

"Shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium..."

I wonder if she would let me record her voice for my track supply.

The proud smile she gives me after is not the reason why my chest feels funny. My raising heart has nothing to do with seeing her turn around nonchalantly and walk out of my stall; her ass bare and toned beyond belief.

I can't even...

I rush my shower like I've never rushed before. The thought of Blue Eyes asking for another painfully awkward naked sing along scared me enough to forgo a thorough proper scrubbing. I can take a shower in the morning if I have to. Of course, that would require waking up early.

Uuuuugh...

I got back to my dorm only to step into a dark room. Obviously Kimmie J finally passed out after battling her fan club away.

I snorted in derision as I shoved my shit into the plastic trash bag I got it out of so I could guarantee nothing would get wet and threw it into my suitcase roughly.

I was probably making needless noise but I couldn't be bothered to care. Being polite and a good roommate was the furthest thing from my mind right now.

All I could think of was pure altos and smirking blue eyes...

Like hell was I showing up for any damn audition.

Incredible toe curling harmony be - friggin' - damned.

And there you have it folks. Denial. Gotta love it. I was trying to make the scene between the two as awkward and hilarious as possible. Sexual tension can come later. The scene in the movie wasn't charged so much so I didn't want this to be. Bare in mind that most of the movie dialogue will pretty much end here. I need it mostly for this scene but after that you will only see bits and pieces from the movie. Just FYI. ;)

Review! :D

- Lil' Miss